


The curious case of Merlin and Morgana

by kessilover



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-09
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2017-12-04 19:20:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 114,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/714130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kessilover/pseuds/kessilover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and morgana wake up after the dreadful end of the war, to unfamiliar life. In which , they are helping Arthur rule Albion , not to mention the fact that they are married and expecting their first child. How will they cope with this life? Obviously mergana.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

The first thing Merlin's tired mind registered once he was fully awake, from what felt like a deep slumber, was that he was laying on a soft mattress.

_'Strange_.' He thought, for he wasn't used to such things, yet it was oddly comfortable and recognizable. He kept his eyes closed, letting himself be absorbed by the peacefulness he was feeling inside, joined by the sunrays on his face; he hoped he would never have to get up. Merlin felt for the first time in a long time, surprisingly well-rested.

A groan reached his ears and he froze and held his breath.

' _Whoa! What was that?'_  He wondered.

Someone rolled over in the bed beside him, and he felt the arm around his chest - which he hadn't realized was there - tighten its hold slightly. Merlin shivered; his mind stopped functioning for a split second. He raised his eyebrows, his eyes remaining shut.

The bed shifted again and he blinked twice, trying not to make any sudden movements. He started to freak out. Someone was next to him, but who? Since he could feel smooth skin, he came to the conclusion that he was bare-chested.

"Not good, not good," he repeated, over and over again, until he could no longer pronounce the words correctly.

Eventually, his eyes fluttered open, the bright light from the sun hit them and he shielded them with his arm. Moments later, once his eyes grew accustomed to the daylight, he pulled his arm away. The first thing his eyes noticed was the ceiling. He furrowed his brow as he took in the sight above of him.

Somehow, it looked awfully familiar to him. It was not the ceiling from his room in Gaius's house that he had woken up to countless of times. Even though it was different, it gave him an eerie feeling of recognition. He was in one of castle's room. Which one? He had no clue. Another thing to add to the odd list, he noted.

What had he done last night that led him here? There was the possibility that maybe he'd gone to the tavern last night, perhaps Gwaine pressed him to, which could explain the memory lost.

' _Wait until I put my hands on you, Gwaine,'_  He threatened. ' _You'll pay for this_.'

But after the tavern, did he…? He didn't have the heart to finish that thought. Swallowing the lump that formed in his throat, he growled mentally. Now how would he remedy this? His mind screamed at him for answers.

He took a deep breath in, an attempt to calm himself. His hand reached down the sheets, checking his nether half. Once his fingertips felt the fabric of his trousers, he sighed in relief. He made sure to do so as quietly as possible.

So perhaps nothing happened, he secretly hoped. Perhaps he'd been too drunk and he had offered to walk this woman back to her chamber, and on accident, ended up spending the night. That was more likely to happen. He was quite settled for that poor explanation.

What should he do next? He wondered. Should he leave or wait until the woman woke up?

Still unable to make a decision, Merlin tried to remember if Arthur had given him any extra things to do. But nothing came to him.

Strangely enough, he couldn't remember Gwaine asking for his company. Yesterday he was… everything was a blur, vague.

Yesterday, he had… he couldn't remember. He closed his eyes, trying to focus harder. No, no... He knew where he had been … he...he tried to think of the events of the previous day, anything. But they were hard to summon, everything seemed so far away; so foreign to him.

Why couldn't he remember last night? A thought clicked in his mind, as he came to realize something.

What  _was_  the last thing he remembered? Last thing he did, last thing he said. What happened to him? Arthur. Something about Arthur, Morgana, and Mordred; something bad had happened, he could sense it. He must find him, he needed...

Another groan, it abruptly stopped his train of thought, and brought him back to reality. He sighed and tried to focus on the matter in hand.

Tremblingly, he raised his hand, in an attempt to inspect the one upon his chest. It was soft and small in his larger hand. He looked down and absentmindedly, he started to caress the pale skin. Touching the fingers gently, his hand started to move up, following the smooth skin until the arm shivered under his touch.

He pulled his hand fast, as if the skin burned. The feminine hand was still resting on his chest; it was all so strange, and yet, very right. Everything felt as if this was where he was supposed to be.

He shook that thought away and inhaled. Glancing down once again, his eyes started to move from the fingertips of said hand, to her forearm. His heartbeats sped up, with every part of the pale skin his eyes landed on, he gulped. His eyes came to their final destination, he was sure that the only thing that kept him from seeing this mysterious woman's face, was turning his head few degrees to the left. He gathered what courage he possessed, and turned his head and body to the side.

Nothing he had encountered before in his entire life could prepare him for that moment, and the sight his eyes beheld.

His eyes widened and his lips parted, suddenly he felt paralyzed. He closed his eyes briefly, opening them very slowly, as if the person before him were a mirage. Still unable to fully grasp what he was seeing, Merlin leaned closer to her face, inspecting her features, and staring at her peaceful face.

"Morgana…"he whispered, his voice sounding distant and foreign.

He sat up straight, forgetting the fact that he just woke up with her next him. Morgana rested on her side, Merlin watched her chest rise and fall rhythmically.

He looked around him and his head spinning, ' _This is impossible_.' He suspected that either, he was hallucinating and that he was still under the influence of the mead, or he might have shagged the king's beloved ward. He wished wholeheartedly it would be the former.

All of the sudden, his eyes widened as everything came into focus and his memories came back to him, the war, Arthur, Morgana. He remembered everything: how he failed, how all was lost. He remembered Arthur dying in his arms, he had messed up his destiny; Gwaine was also dead. Everything he existed for was dead, gone because of her.

And yet here she was, alive. He doubted himself, thinking that his mind was playing tricks on him. He needed to make sure. His hand touched her cheek, something was different about her. Of course, everything was different when it came to Morgana, even the way he saw her now. The hatred and bitterness that usually radiated from her, the darkness in her heart that blackened her soul, was gone. Altered, replaced by...

_She killed Arthur_ ; he heard a voice inside his head remind him of the reality that for a few seconds he had forgotten.

"I guess I have to stop you, all over again."

His state of astonishment and complete bewilderment didn't last long. Soon shock and surprise turned into anger and despair.

His voice apparently wasn't as quiet as he imagined, for he watched as Morgana's eyelashes started to flutter, indicating she was stirring up. He waited silently, his eyes hard and determined. Her eyelids fluttered open and she squinted. Her eyes seemed disoriented for a second, she groaned again.

"Where am…" She trailed off, her eyes locking with his.

Her reaction, he thought, was way worse than his. Because soon after she opened her eyes and saw his face, her lips parted releasing a deafening, high-pitched scream that caused him to jump out of the bed. She followed suit.

At least, they agreed on something, they despised each other and knew the logical thing to do was to distance themselves.

Merlin covered his ear, "Stop." He ordered, screaming as loud and she. His guard was probably already up, he imagined hers was too now. So many attack-spells flashed through his mind as he prepared for the worst.

Surprisingly, she listened to him and ceased to scream. He was so focused on her face, studying her, waiting for her to strike, but that didn't happened.

Instead, he regarded her as she furrowed her brow. Hesitant, her eyes looked down and his followed.

That was when he got the second- well third shock of the day.

He couldn't even begin to believe the sight before him. She raised both her hands, they were shaking and touched her stomach, or her very huge stomach if he was to be honest.

Her head shot up to him. Her eyes were narrowed, her cheeks red and he couldn't tell for sure if she was angry or astonished.

"What have you done, Emrys?" She barked. Her voice was dripping with venom. Definitely angry, he thought.

He never got a chance to reply, everything that happened from that moment was pretty much a blur for him. Morgana's eyes turned gold, and he felt his body hover over the ground, before he was thrown back violently, his head hitting the wall with a crack.

The last thing he saw before he was absorbed by the darkness the blow caused, was Morgana's lips curving up as she smirked.

_The nerve of that woman._

* * *

Merlin's body hit the hard floor and she smiled, proud of herself. The smile didn't last, and faded away as she got an eerily feeling in her stomach. Her eyes moved downward, she inhaled.

She tried to get rid of whatever it was clutching her abdomen, all in vain. Breathing heavily she glanced around her. She was back in her old chamber, she was in Camelot.

How did Merlin manage to bring her back? That was a question for another time. She considered her priorities; the main one was to leave that godforsaken place before she got captured.

She felt her belly move, something was inside of her. Her eyes widened and she lifted her nightdress up to her waist. With one hand holding the fabric up, the other started to poke at her belly, trying to figure out what had happened to her. All her hands could feel though was her tight skin from wrapped around her protruding belly. A thought crossed mind; she might have the slightest idea of what could be occurring to her, that could explain completely this bizarre circumstance, yet she knew for certain that it wasn't a possibility and ended up brushing it away, for now at least.

She gasped clasping a hand over her mouth to silence her squeak and her knees grew weaker. She felt like she was going to fall over. She sought something to help keep her on her feet, and found the table. She pressed a hand on her chest; her heart was beating so fast that she feared it might burst through her chest.

With every moment that passed, she grew more desperate than the moment before. She whimpered, feeling defeat and utterly overwhelmed by the whole uncomfortable situation. She went as fast she her feet could carry her and stood before the full length mirror.

Her eyes widened again, her head starting to spin. Tears willed up in her eyes, hands shaking and sweating, she checked her form. She turned to the both sides, searching, looking for something, anything that might explain why she appeared to be…

A shiver ran down her spine as the stopped herself from continuing that thought. Her hands dropped to her sides in exhaustion, shoulders slumping.

She sobbed and moved away from the mirror, uttering "No," while shaking her head in denial.

She knew for a fact what she was seeing in that reflection. She could deny it all she wanted but it wouldn't change what she already realized. She was clearly and unquestionably, without a drop of potential doubt - she, the lady Morgana, highest priestess of the Old Religion, was with child.

She glanced back to Merlin, still on the floor unconscious; her vision hazy, her eyes were clouded over with tears. She wiped away her tears, sniffling.

She didn't have much time to determine what spell or curse Emrys had cast on her. She glanced to the door, hearing an uproar joined by fast approaching footsteps; the knights of Camelot were closing in on her. She wouldn't let them capture her, she wouldn't grant Emrys the pleasure of seeing her apprehended.

Merlin must have done something; she wasn't supposed to be in here. No she was supposed to be… She swallowed. Looking back at Merlin, she knew she should be dead, right? He had driven that sword through her with no remorse and no regret. Unless he'd been lying about the dragon's breath, thus the sword wouldn't have harmed her.

Many ideas, thoughts and possibilities were running through her mind, and she felt lightheaded. She clutched the edge of the table with both hands, and heard the door burst open. Dark figures stormed inside, toward her. Her efforts to focus were fading quickly, as her arms began to give out. She prepared a spell in her mind, waiting for the attack.

This time her legs gave up on her, and she felt her body falling backwards, panting. She waited for the impact, having nothing to do to prevent it. Nevertheless, her body never touched the ground or even came closer to it as a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist and caught her midair.

"I have you, Morgana. You're alright." She would recognize that voice anywhere; regardless, she lifted her head up to make sure.

"Arthur? How?" She murmured, before she joined Merlin in the land of unconsciousness.


	2. not what it seems

"Go get Gaius."

"What do you think happened this time?"

Faint voices reached Merlin's ears; he was unable to place the voices. The painful throbbing of his head prevented him from identifying them clearly.

He suppressed a groan of pain, as he lifted his hand to check the back of his head for any injuries caused by the impact. He found none. His back protested once he attempted to move off of the ground. The encounter with Morgana played before his eyes, making his heart skip a beat.

"Merlin, are you alright?" A voice he recognized very well, spoke next to him. He turned his head, following the sound, until Sir Leon came into his line of vision.

"Morgana…" He uttered with difficulty, head still aching. He had to warn him, the whole castle needed to know that Morgana was still alive.

"She…" He stopped speaking when Sir Leon nodded his head, as if acknowledging what Merlin wanted to say.

"You know?" Merlin inquired, scowling. 'So why is he still here, instead of arresting Morgana?'

The knight crouched with an outstretched hand, offering it to Merlin.

"She fainted," Leon glanced back. Even though Merlin couldn't see anything, he guessed Leon was looking at Morgana.

"We sent for Gaius. He'll be here shortly, don't panic," Leon explained, trying to reassure a very concerned Merlin that everything was under control. But Merlin didn't hear any of it; he cleared his throat, reaching out to take the knight's hand.

"Gaius? Why would you sent for him?" Bewildered, Merlin raised his eyebrow, "Don't send for Gaius." The warlock yelled getting to his feet. He whimpered quietly as pain struck him, as he tried to remain standing. When he accomplished that he huffed, straightening his back, until the pain ebbed away.

"Bring all of the knights of Camelot!" Merlin exclaimed, shoving Sir Leon away, once he trusted his legs to carry him.

"The Queen is in danger." He finally said, but his revelation was met with a look of utter confusion that washed over the knight's face. He didn't have time for that; there was precious little time to spare, and none of it could be wasted trying to convince Leon, he was telling the truth.

Merlin's eyes darkened, he would put an end to Morgana's threats. He turned away from the knight, ready to storm out of the room, yet he found himself unable to.

"Did Morgana receive a vision? Is this what happened here?"

Another voice, filled with worry and anxiety, spoke from behind the knight of Camelot. Merlin raised his head to look over Leon's shoulder. The two men stared at each other; no words passed between them for a moment.

Arthur's face showed the shock of Merlin's words, whilst the warlock was stunned to see Arthur, who was supposed to be dead, standing in front of him, carrying an unconscious Morgana in his arms.

Merlin's breath caught in his throat and whatever he was going to say, didn't leave his parted, trembling lips.

The room fell into a heavy and complete silence.

"Merlin…"Arthur finally said, "What do you mean Gwen is in danger? Who's going to hurt her?"

Arthur placed Morgana gently back on the bed, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face, before turning his attention back to Merlin.

The king's utterance brought Merlin back to reality, and he shook the fog that clouded his mind away.

"How is it possible?" Merlin whispered, ignoring the question, and taking a few steps closer to Arthur. The latter looked toward the remainder of the knights present in the chamber.

"Check the perimeters. Sir Leon, take three knights with you and guard the queen."

The order was heard and obeyed, the room was clear of all the knights, leaving only Arthur, Merlin and Morgana in the room.

Merlin was oblivious to what was happening around him. He couldn't take his eyes off of Arthur. He bit his bottom lip, even though he stood just few feet away from him, he couldn't tell if Arthur was real or not. He squinted at him suspiciously, and reached out to touch Arthur's ears, hair, and chin. His hands fell to his sides. His heart ached; the memories of Arthur, struggling and gasping to take yet another breath filled his mind and tears welled up in his eyes.

Arthur, up until that moment, had remained silent; observing Merlin with a look mixed with annoyance and worry.

"Merlin, what are you doing?" The blond man asked, as Merlin raised his hands and cupped Arthur's face.

"Extraordinary..." Merlin whispered. He squeezed Arthur's cheeks hard, watching in amazement as they turned red.

"Ow! Merlin, have you lost your mind?" Arthur slapped Merlin's hands away.

Merlin sniffed, embarrassed. He wiped away the tears that stained his face, and took couple of deep breaths, trying to calm the intensive feelings that overwhelmed him. He proceeded to put both of his hands on each of Arthur's shoulder, staying like that for a short moment, before squealing in complete joy and happiness.

"You're alive!" Merlin eyes brightened up.

Smack.

Arthur's hand hit Merlin in the back of his head.

"Ow!" Merlin whimpered, touching his head. "That place is still sore from the blow, careful." He said. Arthur repeated his action, smacking Merlin once again.

"What was that for?" Merlin demanded, though his voice was light and teasing. He moved backwards, distancing himself from the king, afraid of being hit again. But his demeanor was met with a piercing glare from Arthur, which caused the smile to leave Merlin's face.

"I will not ask you again. Who wants to hurt my wife?" Arthur demanded in a firm voice.

Merlin was taken aback by the sudden change of behavior, and responded by scowling. He looked at the sleeping form of Morgana, and simply said; "Morgana," as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and it was — at least to him.

"What about her?" The other man asked, sounding irritated.

"Morgana wants to kill Gwen!" Merlin exclaimed, beginning to feel bewildered again. "She tried to kill you…"

"This is not the time for jokes, Merlin." Arthur hissed. "If someone seeks to harm Gwen, I need to…" He was cut off by Merlin saying; "But it's the truth. I'm not trying to be funny, I swear."

Arthur sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. He glanced out the window briefly, before he looked back at Merlin.

"Really? You swear to me that Morgana wants to hurt Gwen?" He said disbelievingly, daring Merlin to answer.

"Yes," Merlin insisted. Arthur rolled his eyes and snorted, "And why would you think that Merlin?"

"I don't think," Merlin shook his head.

"That's for sure," Arthur muttered.

Merlin glared, ignoring the interruption by adding, "I know for certain."

"Then tell me why?"

"Because…"Merlin trailed off, he looked at Morgana, "It's Morgana. That's what she wants, it's what she's been trying to do for the…"

Arthur laughed this time, Merlin furrowed his brow.

"Why are you laughing?" Then something occurred to him, Merlin's eyes widened. "She enchanted you. She must have done so, that's why you can't remember. Yes…I need…to…" He looked around, rubbing his brow.

"I'm not enchanted, Merlin." Arthur snickered, "My god, Merlin, as if you're not stupid enough, Morgana had to go and hit you hard in the head," Arthur mused. Merlin wasn't listening; he was still spinning around, trying to figure out what to do, while mumbling incoherent words.

"What are you doing, Merlin?" The man in question stopped, his head shot up, as he looked at Arthur.

"I'm trying to think of any enchantments or spells, Morgana might have used on you." He paused, inhaling, and then added, "I'm not stupid. I'm telling the truth."

"Maybe she put the enchantment on your body?" Merlin thought aloud, and marched toward Arthur. "Take off your clothes." Merlin said, yet it sounded more like an order.

"WHAT?" Eyes wide, Arthur shoved Merlin away when the warlock raised his hands, and attempted to grasp the hem of Arthur's shirt.

"Stop this nonsense at once, Merlin! I'm no longer amused."

"It's not…" Merlin was cut off by the sound of the door opening. Gaius came inside in a hurry; his bag was already in his hand as he rushed to the bed. Arthur took that chance to jump away from Merlin.

"Oh dear! What's happened?" The old man's question was met with silence. Merlin watched, astonished and perplexed, as a worried Gaius started to examine Morgana.

"What's the matter with you? Why are you helping her?"

'Did Morgana enchant the whole castle? Is that why nobody seemed to see her for what she really is?' He couldn't help but think that, since it was the way it appeared.

Gaius head shot up, he narrowed his eyes and looked questioningly at Arthur, "What's the matter with him?"

"Morgana threw him against the wall." Arthur explained, he walked passed Merlin and closer to the bed, watching with concern as Gaius checked Morgana.

"I think he's lost it," The king added and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Oh," The physician said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, "not again." Gaius rolled his eyes and sighed. He opened his bag and added; "I'll take a look at him once I finish with Morgana. Sit down, Merlin."

Merlin was overwhelmed by everything that he'd seen and heard from the moment he opened his eyes.

"How is she?" He vaguely heard Arthur ask Gaius.

"Arthur," He heard Gaius say, "I need to see if she's bleeding…"

"You want me to leave?" Arthur inquired and Gaius nodded.

"Take Merlin with you."

And with that, the two men headed outside. Arthur had his hand on Merlin's back, leading him through the door, "She's going to be fine, don't worry. Gaius will make sure of it." Merlin merely nodded absently.

Where was he? How come Arthur was alive? It was impossible, he watched him die. He had said goodbye to him, and had seen the last glimpse of the fallen king.

'Where am I?' He wondered again, 'Maybe I'm offered another chance.' His eyes widened, letting his mind toy with that idea, he smiled despite himself. Still, that didn't explain why no one but him… he furrowed his brow, recalling the incident with Morgana. She was just as shocked as he had been when they'd seen each other. Perhaps, she too had no idea what was going on. He wasn't sure of anything yet; but one thing was for sure, only he and Morgana were aware of the changes around them. The men stood silent for few minutes, both occupied with their own thoughts.

"Merlin, do you know who I am?" Arthur suddenly asked.

Merlin snorted, "Is this a trick question?" He eyed Arthur, who shook his head.

"I'm only trying to determine how severe the damage to your head is. Just humor me," Arthur said, gently.

"You are clotpole." Merlin answered with a sad smile, and Arthur, who didn't notice the sorrow in Merlin's eyes, glared at him. "You are also known as Arthur Pendragon; king of Camelot." Merlin offered.

"Good. What about the man in there?" He asked, referring to Gaius.

"His name is Gaius; he is the castle physician, and my guardian." The warlock replied, confidently. Arthur, satisfied with the given answer, nodded again.

"Now, who are you?"

"I'm Merlin from Ealdore," Merlin said, thinking it was a sufficient answer.

Arthur widened his eyes slightly, prompting Merlin for more. The latter shrugged and said, "I'm also your servant."

"Back to joking, are you, Merlin?" Arthur said, "You haven't been my servant for over four years, and believe me those years were by far, some of the best ones in my life. You were such a useless servant, and we both know why." Arthur winked and hit Merlin playfully in the shoulder. Merlin stared at the king with utter shock, his throat went dry.

"I'm not your servant?" Merlin managed to say. Arthur shook his head, and Merlin's blood went cold. Nevertheless, it was a chance for Merlin to find out more about this…this new opportunity; this new life.

"Arthur, if I'm not your servant, then what do I do?"

"Since you insist on acting ignorant, let me enlighten you; you are the court sorcerer, my brother-in-law…and…"Arthur stopped himself. He narrowed his eyes, rubbing his chin, pondering something. "Or is it half brother-in-law, since Morgana is my half-sister?" He shook his head."Anyway-"

"Stop!" Merlin yelped, "When you say I'm your brother-in-law…" Merlin laughed nervously "…you mean that I'm married to…" he gulped, "Morgana?"

"Yes," Arthur replied, leaning his head against the wall.

"No." Merlin shook his head, not willing to believe it. "No, no way!" He said, again.

"Yes." Arthur confirmed, closing his eyes with a sigh.

"And you agreed?" Merlin snapped.

"Are you kidding? I almost killed you, Merlin."

"Why didn't you?" Merlin whined, he turned to the wall, and hit his head against it few times. Arthur chuckled, "Because, Morgana would have killed me." He replied simply. "Merlin, you don't look so good. You sure you're alright?"

It was too much information; Merlin was still trying to grasp the reality he was in. He turned pale and felt like he was about to throw up.

Merlin never got a chance to answer as Gaius opened the door, asking them inside. Arthur straightened up, and followed Gaius inside. As for Merlin, he struggled to move his body; his legs were heavy and he couldn't breathe. He was struck by what Arthur had just told him.

'This is far more serious than I ever suspected. What kind of new chance is this? Me? Married to Morgana?' Tentatively, he followed the two men inside.

Morgana was awake and she looked pale, leaning against the headboard. Her eyes were bloodshot and tired.

"Morgana," Arthur exclaimed, rushing toward her. He sat beside her, taking her hand in his.

"Let me have a look at you, Merlin." Gaius said, leading Merlin to sit on a chair, facing the siblings.

"You scared me." Arthur confessed and ran a hand through her hair, affectionately. "I think you finally managed to damage Merlin. He's acting weirder than usual."

She laughed softly, and placed her head on Arthur's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around Morgana, who welcomed the embrace, and replicated his action.

"I apologize for worrying you, Arthur. It just… it was a very disturbing nightmare."

'What the bloody hell is happening?'

Was he wrong? Was Morgana not…

"Someone wanted to kill me," She admitted, her voice was trembling. Arthur rubbed her back, comforting her. Merlin's jaw dropped.

"He stabbed me with a sword, Arthur." Her eyes flicked up, locking her gaze with Merlin's. She smirked, "I'm so scared, Arthur."

"Don't worry, no one will hurt you. I'll always protect you."

"She's alright, Gaius?" Arthur asked the physician, who looked up, he patted Merlin on the shoulder and offered him a small smile. He turned his attention back to Arthur, nodding, "She's fine. She's just exhausted, I suspect it's due to lack of sleep.

Arthur sighed in relief, "And the child?"

"Is fine too."

As the king and the physician conversed, Merlin and Morgana were glaring at each other. Neither could read the others expression, but both knew nothing good was going to happen.

Gaius left, shortly after he gave both Morgana and Merlin each a sleeping drought.

"Did you hear that? You are fine." Arthur smiled at Morgana and kissed her temple, resting his hand on her belly, "Both of you."

He stood up and made his way to the door.

"You're leaving?" Merlin jumped to his feet. He glanced at Morgana, before quickly returning his gaze back to Arthur. The King nodded.

"Believe it or not, Merlin, I'm competent enough to rule my Kingdom, without my court sorcerer for a day."

"I know," Merlin agreed "I'm coming with you." He announced but Arthur, shaking his head stopped him.

"No, I can see that you are not feeling well. Maybe you should get some rest." He suggested, "Besides…" Arthur marched to Merlin, and moved closer to whisper in his ear, "Stay with your wife, Merlin. Can't you see that she's unwell? What's the matter with you?"

Merlin nodded and didn't utter another word.

Once the door closed and they were left alone, Merlin gritted his teeth.

"Is this of your doing, Emrys?"

"So now, I'm Emrys? You almost had me fooled, Morgana."

"You didn't answer my question." She said, her voice cold and threatening.

"No. I don't think I'm strong enough to cause this." He snapped at her, "Whatever this is!"

"Really?" She challenged. "I don't believe you."

"I didn't ask you to."

"Yes, well, you and I are both very aware of how tremendous your powers are. And if you want anything… say, bringing back Arthur? We know nothing can stop you."

He went to table in the middle of the room, where Gaius had placed the two sleeping droughts for them. He took both and walked back to her.

"Drink." He handed her the vial, and moved to the other side of the bed.

"That's true. However, if I truly did this, why would I bring you back? You've done nothing but try to ruin the lives of the people who cared for you."

She shrugged, opening the bottle, he did the same.

"I'm quite certain that I'm just a minor inconvenience, in your big plan to achieve Albion. You killed me once, Merlin; we both know you won't hesitate to do it again."

Not expecting this answer, Merlin almost chocked, he started to cough.

She grinned, and swallowed the liquid in one gulp.

"It's different."He told her, he knew she wouldn't attempt anything, they still didn't know exactly where they were and how they ended up there. They still had so little information about this place, this new reality.

"Why?" She asked, lying back on the bed. "Because, I'm with a child or because I'm carrying your child?" she asked, emphasizing the words 'your child'.

He shook his head, "Because, you and I both heard what Arthur had said, I'm his court sorcerer, which means that magic has been restored to Camelot. That's what you wanted, Morgana, you won't do anything to jeopardize it." He spoke as if he knew her, and that angered her, but the affect of the sleeping drought started to have its toll on them, she yawned.

He rested his body next to hers. They were both staring at the ceiling, with only a few inches separating them.

"How come you're so calm about this, Morgana?" He wondered aloud.

"Maybe because I've yet to fully comprehend what's going on? I'm still…"

"Haunted by those memories," He finished for her.

"Yes," She whispered, sleepily.

"What are you going to do when it finally sinks in?"

She didn't answer him, and Merlin thought that she might have fallen asleep. He turned his head to where she was laying, and almost yelped when he found her looking at him. She shifted and turned on her other side, so she could face him.

"Then, I'll kill Arthur and I'll find a way to have my vengeance, Emrys."

Merlin smiled.

"Good luck with that."

They both closed their eyes, letting the droughts take over. Before Merlin fell asleep, he heard Morgana say, in a tone thick with mockery, "Sleep well, husband."


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin sat down on the ground, he leaned his head against a tree with a sigh. Blinking twice, he was close to tears which had already formed in his eyes. He took a deep, shaky breath and cleared his sore throat.

Merlin was torn between happiness and freaking out; happiness that, somehow, he was granted another chance to achieve his destiny and Albion, and freaking out because he was clueless and ignorant as to what might have resulted to this reality he was in.

Another deep breath, he had left Morgana asleep. His mind had been set on one thing. Heading toward the only thing that had both the ability and knowledge to explain what was happening; the Great Dragon.

But he had gone to the caves under the castle, and went to the forest, attempting to summon the dragon. He had screamed its name so hard, and so many times that he was currently left with a sore throat, and a rough voice. He was even more devastated than he had been before.

Sitting alone in the clearing had made him lose track of time, having no real idea how long he'd been sitting out there. His mind was blank and his heart was crushed into so many little pieces. A serpent of worry began to coil and hiss in his stomach, as he thought of what that indicated. If he was unable to summon the dragon, what did that mean? Was it dead? No, that was impossible.

His shook that thought away, he would not make any assumptions without proof and solid evidence.

How could he get to the bottom of this? He wondered with a heavy heart. Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair. He sighed, both defeated and overwhelmed. He stood with difficulty, his legs aching from sitting too long.

He had been given another opportunity, he was not about to ruin it by questioning why it happened. He should be grateful to whatever higher power that offered it to him. Now he needed to do whatever he could to make sure that Morgana would not mess it up with her obsession of claiming the thrown. No matter the cost.

Morgana woke up, curled on her side. Upon opening her eyes, she inspected the other side of the bed, alert that it was empty. Perhaps the chamber was empty too.

If it wasn't for the fact that she was currently in her bedroom, she would have thought everything had been a dream and that everything she experienced was due to her imagination. But no such luck, she thought, disappointedly as her eyes traveled down to her belly which was still swollen proving her mental point.

She reached out a hand and touched the other half of the mattress, it was cold. She noted. Merlin must have been gone for a while now. She sighed in relief; that would give her chance to ponder everything.

She rolled over, so she now lay on her back. She adjusted her pillow until she found a comfortable position, and hooked an arm under her head, watching as shadows played across the ceiling and overhead rafters.

She was not sure how she should be reacting to what was happening. She drew in a deep breath, currently there was no one to talk to about these changes except for Merlin. But she wasn't sure how the conversation would go; she needed to start one first and see.

She had no idea how things ended up this way, she only possessed a vague knowledge that caused a slight tremor to run through her body; a knowledge which consisted of magic returning back to Camelot, being married to Merlin, and actually approving of Arthur to rule the kingdom.

She closed her eyes for a second, her mind going through the different scenarios that could have caused this life. There were many variables and events that could be the reason, there were too many. She wasn't sure if she could list them all.

A knock on the door caught her attention, and she turned her head toward the door. She thought that it would be Merlin. The person didn't wait for permission, and opened the door. She was mistaken, she realized as Gwen poked her head through in, her eyes brightening when they landed on Morgana.

"You're awake," The queen said, opening the door wider and entering the chamber. Her face breaking into a big grin, once she closed the door behind her.

"I am sorry, I would have come sooner but I know how much you need to rest and sleep." Gwen moved closer, pulling a chair along with her, depositing it next to the bed. Her eyes were concerned and caring, something that made Morgana's blood boil. Quickly, she became distracted staring at the crown that decorated Gwen's head. It took all her power not to throw that traitor across the room and take back what was rightfully hers.

'That's mine!' She thought angrily. Regardless, she forced her lips to quirk up and form a fake smile as Gwen made herself comfortable.

"Good morning, Gwen." She greeted. Morgana sat up, resting her head against the headboard.

There was small pause between the two women. Not an awkward one, well at least not for Gwen.

Morgana had forgotten how to speak civilly to Gwen a long time ago.

"Where is Merlin?" A perplexed Gwen asked a while later, looking around her, searching for the man in question.

Morgana shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know. He was gone when I woke up," She answered honestly.

To Morgana's surprise, Gwen laughed softly. "I assumed that he would not leave your side until you were fine."

"I am fine." Morgana insisted, her voice raising a little but not loud enough for Gwen to notice how angry Morgana was.

Upon hearing the answer, the smile left the queen's features as she placed her hand on top of Morgana's.

"You had another nightmare?" Gwen wondered, she squeezed Morgana's hand slightly. The pregnant lady hated the sympathetic look the other woman was giving her.

'I'm living in one.' Morgana wanted to say but instead she settled for a nod.

"A vision?" Gwen promoted.

"Not all my nightmares are visions, Gwen. Believe it or not sometimes a nightmare is merely a nightmare, nothing less and nothing more." Morgana snapped her voice loud and harsh.

Gwen was taken aback by the sudden change in demeanor. She leaned back against the chair. Her eyes were showing her astonishment.

Morgana quickly realized her slip.

"I'm sorry…"

"I'm very sorry."

Both ladies said at the same time and Morgana looked away from Gwen.

"Morgana," Gwen said softly. Morgana turned her head in Gwen's direction absently.

"Listen to me…"Gwen added "I won't lie to you; I will not tell you that I understand what you go through with your nightmares or visions, or whatever they are."

"Gwen …" Morgana tried to interrupt her.

"I'm certainly not Merlin. I know he is your husband and you trust him more than anyone else. You two have been through a lot together. But, I have been your friend for a long time now. If anything is bothering you can tell me. I'm always here for you."

Morgana choose not to reply, instead she just nodded her head.

Gwen was satisfied with that unuttered answer. She got up, "I'm going to fetch you something to eat. You must be starving."

Morgana would have declined the offer if it were not for the growl that escaped her stomach.

Gwen smiled at that, "I think the child is hungry too...I will…" She trailed off, her eyes widening slightly as if she had remembered something, her hand only few inches away from the door knob.

"Have you told Merlin, yet?" She asked her offer to bring food to Morgana forgotten.

Morgana narrowed her eyes, pondering her choices of replies; either way Merlin would have absolutely no clue what Gwen was speaking of, so Morgana replied with 'no' , shaking her head.

Gwen moved away from the door and rolled her eyes.

"Morgana!" Gwen grumbled. She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head, disbelievingly.

"I can believe how stubborn you can be." She crossed her arms over chest. "Why haven't you told him yet?"

'Because I have no idea what you are talking about!' Morgana relied mentally.

Gwen's question was met with complete silence from Morgana's part.

"Do you know how happy Merlin will be? I really can't believe you have not told him yet." She said again.

'I don't want him to be happy.' She wanted to scream.

"I forgot." Morgana, this time, said in a guilty tone.

"There is no winning with you," Gwen paused. "I know you want to wait until the child comes, possibly because you don't believe it, but Merlin deserves to know that you are carrying his son. Another generation of Dragon lord, even if the vision came from another seer, you still ought to tell him." With that said, Gwen left Morgana alone to her own thoughts.

'A son' Morgana gasped, her hand resting absently on her stomach.

her eyes widening slightly as she fully grasped what Gwen had said. ' a new generation of dragon lords.' Merlin was dragon lord?

The realization made her a little lightheaded. No wonder he was able to obtain a sword forged with a dragon's breath and that would easily explain his great powers.

For the first time ever, Morgana truly believed that she did not stand a chance against Merlin.

There was a knock on the door some time later.

"Enter," Morgana called, loud enough for the person on the other side to hear her.

A girl, no more than twenty-years old entered, carrying in her hands a tray of food.

"Where is Gwen?" Morgana asked, standing up.

"Oh! The queen she asked me to bring this for you, she went to check on the prince."

"The prince? Who is he?" Morgana wondered, walking to the window and opening it, allowing the gentle breeze to blow against her face. She turned to look at the servant, and was surprised to see the latter giving her a confused look.

"Prince Edward," The young woman replied. Morgana instantly understood what she meant.

Arthur and Gwen had a son, an heir to the throne. That certainly would complicate things more.

"Leave." Morgana commanded with a firm voice, and the girl obeyed immediately.

As the girl swung the door open, another figure appeared just in front of her and she yelped.

Morgana turned around to see Gaius, entering her chamber. The girl, after apologizing to him, disappeared quickly.

"I see you are already on your feet." Gaius said, eying the tray of food on the table before glancing at her. "Have you eaten anything yet?"

Morgana shook her head, "I lost my appetite." She told the physician and closed the window.

Gaius quirked an eyebrow at her, "No such thing, you must eat."

Morgana fought the urge to tell him that he had no authority over her, and no right to tell her what she must and must not do.

"I'll eat when I am hungry. Is everything alright?" Morgana asked in an attempt to alter the subject.

Gaius shrugged, "that's what I am here to find out. Let me take a look at you, and see how you are doing." He walked toward her, taking her by the arm gently, and leading her back to the bed.

"How did you sleep? Well, I hope?" She nodded as Gaius checked her eyes.

She watched him closely as he got into his physician mode. He gently pressed his hand to her side of the belly.

"Do feel any pains?"

"No," Morgana replied. He was very close to her; she could see the small smile on his face.

"Have you started to feel the child move?" Once again, Morgana shook her head.

"You will start to feel it soon, you are six months along. It is just matter of time."

Gaius did not leave until he made Morgana finish all the food that was on the tray.

She eventually ventured from her room to walk around the castle, even taking up the nerve to go to the market. Everything looked familiar, ever the same. At first, it took her a while to get used to not being feared and shied away from. She had been Camelot's most terrifying enemy. For her to walk through its halls and corridors and on its ground, without anyone pointing at her or screaming for their lives was a huge change. The fact that everybody knew her, addressed her not as the king's ward or as the powerful queen she had been, was strange.

They loved her, bowed as she passed them, wished her the best luck with her pregnancy and respected her.

She even saw a few people using magic. She had been stunned at first, secretly waiting for the knights of Camelot to come rushing to arrest the sorcerers, she even readied herself to defend one of them, but none of that happened. No one yelled signaling the presence of a sorcerer. It was all very natural for them; it made her confused by how quickly the people of Camelot came to accept magic. After years of living under the tyrant, and the laws against the practice and the use of magic, she thought it would be harder for them to trust magic again. But here she was, astonished by the lack of fear. Somehow Arthur and Merlin had managed to achieve what she believed to be impossible.

Speaking of the devils, she spotted them ahead, with Gwaine following. Gwaine was alive. All sorts of people were coming back from the dead; it didn't surprise her much. After all, things were very different here, she needed to accept that.

Merlin seemed to be leaning most of his weight on Gwaine, who had Merlin's arm over his shoulder.

The three men saw her and started to make their way in her direction.

"Everybody is alive," Merlin squealed, laughing.

Morgana looked over at Gwaine then back to Arthur.

"I know. What a joy." She replied, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

But Merlin furrowed his brow, glancing up at Arthur.

"Well, not everybody. Uther is dead." He added mostly to Morgana, his face breaking into a big grin.

Morgana, of course, was well aware of that fact; it didn't take a genius to know that.

If magic had been restored back to Camelot, something that would never have happened if Uther still had breath in his lungs, then yes, he was dead.

"Can you be less enthusiastic about it?" Arthur asked in annoyance. "He was my father despite his flaws."

Merlin tried to suppress his laughter, biting his bottom lip. "I'm sorry." He tried to look remorseful, failing miserably.

Both Arthur and Morgana rolled their eyes at him, while Gwaine laughed hard, clapping Merlin on the back.

"Doesn't it make you wonder?" Arthur asked Morgana, while shaking his head at the other two men.

"Wonder about what?" Morgana inquired.

"What is it about Merlin that you find appealing?"

"Hey!" Merlin chimed in. "I'm handsome. That lady from the tavern said so." He reminded him, forgetting that that incident had happened in his reality, so Arthur would have no idea what Merlin was speaking of.

"Perhaps, it is the ears." Gwaine teased, touching Merlin's ear and pulling it.

Merlin slapped his hand away, "I happen to have very beautiful ears."

Morgana observed the interaction and then replied to Arthur's question, "I have not stopped asking myself that question."

Morgana opened the door, allowing the two men to drag Merlin inside and place him on the bed. They were still laughing about how Merlin seemed to have fallen asleep on the way there.

Morgana watched Arthur from the corner of her eye, his guard was down, the whole situation made it easy for her to strike. However, the presence of Gwaine was a problem; he was more of a nuisance to her though than a real issue.

Well, that plus the extra weight of her stomach that she would continue to carry until she found a way to solve this whole thing, or else she would go into labor. Not something she wanted to deal with.

"Do you need anything else, Morgana?" Arthur asked, while Gwaine marched toward the door.

Morgana shook her head. "Everything is alright, Arthur. Don't worry yourself over me, I am quite well."

Arthur simply shrugged and squeezed her forearm before heading to the door, where Gwaine waited outside.

"I apologize for…" He gestured to Merlin. "He needed to loosen up a bit."

She wished Gwaine and Arthur a goodnight. As soon as the door closed, the fake smile that she put on fell from her face.

She turned her attention back to Merlin, whose feet were on the floor and his upper body lying on the bed. He looked untroubled and relaxed, she straightened her shoulders.

'What would she do with him?' She wondered, her eyes widening as a thought hit her.

Walking closer to him, she extracted her dragger (she had found it among her things, not hidden, but she had reasoned that she might need it.) releasing it from its sheath. Her lips quirked up, perhaps this day would not be a complete waste after all. She considered the circumstance she was in.

She was with her nemesis, who happened to be very weak and vulnerable at the moment. She would not get a better chance; she could have her revenge now.

'How have I longed and waited for it?'

The smile turned into a cocky grin, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

"At last," Morgana whispered, raising her knife high above her head, her grin growing ever wider. Her heartbeat sped up, the anticipation making her hand tremble and sweat. She couldn't believe that she was so close to achieving everything she had been wishing for. Maybe not everything, but it was a step toward her goal. First Merlin and eventually Arthur. She would find away to solve the Edward problem, then and only then, would she have what was rightfully hers – Camelot.

She took a few more steps closer to him, confident. However, she stopped abruptly when Merlin's eyes fluttered open. They were disoriented and unfocused.

For a second she assumed that he would fall asleep again. Nevertheless, that didn't happen, she studied his eyes; they were sad, bloodshot and she could easily see the tears that had formed in them. He blinked twice, turning his head from side-to-side, as if trying to identify his surroundings. He proceeded to raise his head, eyes landing on her.

Regardless of the pain that seemed to be radiating from him; a pain that she could oddly sense and feel, she was determined. Her mind set on finishing things that very night. Yet again, Merlin seemed to have his own plans. He always did, why would tonight be any different?

Somehow, after struggling, he finally managed to sit down. He was facing Morgana, who happened to be standing only few feet away from him. She felt paralyzed by the look that he was giving her, a look that spoke volumes and made her heart skip a beat and the air to leave her lungs.

He tried to stand up but he was too drunk to have the control over his legs. After a few attempts, he decided to remain sitting. Morgana observed him with caution and complete silence, her knife safely hidden behind her back, for the fear that the mere sight of it might sober Merlin up. She tried to shake the eerily feeling away, but it had somehow managed to clutch her heart.

Merlin watched her, his eyes fixed on her and his lips trembling. A single tear escaped his eye, sliding down cheek. He bit his bottom lip hard, and wiped his eyes, sniffing.

It confused her to see him like this. The last time he was like this, so broken and miserable had been when he poisoned her. Her eyes widened, what if he was going to kill her, she cleared her throat.

The next thing she knew, Merlin's hands wrapped around her waist, his head on her belly as he started to cry.

That startled her immensely, causing her to almost drop the sharp weapon.

"Merlin…"she whispered, confused but still angry.

"I am so sorry I killed you, Morgana. Have I told you so before?" Her mind went through the memories of events that had actually happened only the day before.

She shook her head, doubting that Merlin had seen her answer. Sobbing, he sniffed again.

He continued to apologize over and over again, until Morgana got sick of hearing it. She tightened her hold on the knife. She readied herself for what to come. Victory.

"I should have tried harder…" he stuttered and mumbled. "There were so many other ways to save you."

"I did not need saving," She interrupted him, hissing through gritted teeth.

"Will you forgive me?" He asked her next, he raised his head and their gazes locked. He was pleading with her, begging to the point that if it was anybody else, she would have thought the whole scene heartbreaking.

She refrained from answering, and more tears continued to fall from his sad eyes.

She looked up, unable to regard him anymore. She was confused, mixed feeling washed over her and she felt her whole body quiver.

She tried to shove him away with her free hand, pushing him with all her power, but to no avail. He was holding onto her steadfastly.

"You of all people, you knew how hard and lonely… it could be…" He trailed off, his silence brought her back to reality and she looked down to him. Her lips pressed into a thin line.

"And for that, you will pay…" she thought aloud.

But suddenly, Merlin unhooked his arms as a consequence, freeing her. Before she had a chance to distant herself from him, the greatest sorcerer to ever live threw up. Morgana's face screwed up.

This time she did move away.

"I think I'm going to throw up…" He added afterward, glancing up at her, his eyes apologetic. He wiped his mouth with the hem of his shirt.

"Really?" She snorted, taking few steps backward again. Merlin looked like a lost child.

Morgana narrowed her eyes at him; he covered his mouth again, making a gagging sound.

She rolled her eyes and she mentally slapped herself.

She was the Lady Morgana, she tried to remind herself, the last highest priestess of old religion. If she were to have her reprisal, she would do it the old fashion way. Her face would be the last thing he would see, and the last thing he would feel would be the pain that he had put her through. She would make him pay, not while he was drunk, that wouldn't do. He needed to be attentive. She would make sure of that. She would crush him the same way he crushed her.

The smell of vomit reached her nostrils, and she clapped a hand over her mouth and nose. The smell was too strong for her to handle, she felt the bile rise in her throat. She glared down at her own tainted dress, the floor then up back to Merlin.

He smiled nervously at her, reading her angry expression. Without looking she slapped him in the face, he fell backward easily and didn't get up again.

Morgana shook her head at his unconscious form.

'That was easy.'

It did not take her long to change into her nightgown and clean the floor. She left her chamber; she was gone for a long time before she re-entered her room. Merlin was still out cold.

'I must have hit him really hard,' she thought. Once she closed the door, she went through her night routine.

She adjusted his legs, so he was now lying fully on the bed. As much as she loved the idea of him sleeping in uncomfortable position, and the outcome of such wretched sleep, she didn't want anyone beside herself to see him like that and get suspicious.

She went to the other side, dragging him up with difficulty onto the bed. She sighed, despite Merlin's scrawny body, he was quite heavy. Once she adjusted him, her eyes turned gold and the light died out.

She rested her tired body next to his. She loathed the idea of them sharing a bed together for the second time, at least willingly.

But she didn't have another choice. She closed her eyes, thinking about the next morning. She and Merlin would have to talk everything through. Up until then they had yet to discuss these changes and new transformations.

She fell asleep almost immediately. The worries of the day, the revelations no matter how small they were, had been shoved into the back of her mind. She was already used to not felling guilty; after all she truly believed she had no conscience.

An awful, high pitched scream forced its way from deep in her lungs and out through her trembling lips. Clenching her chest, she sat up straight. Her breathing raging and uncontrolled, she started to sob.


	4. Chapter 4

An awful, high pitched scream forced its way from deep in her lungs and out through her trembling lips. Clenching her chest, she sat up straight. Her breathing ragged and uncontrolled, she started to sob.

Her scream startled Merlin and he snapped into a sitting position.

He moaned at the sudden movement he made and rubbed the side of his head. He felt the beginning of a headache.

He blinked twice, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness that enveloped the place. He heard Morgana panting.

"Why are you yelling?" He groaned. He looked over at her and swallowed hard at the sight his eyes beheld.

He never truly witnessed the replication of her nightmares, never seen the fear that her features demonstrated as a result, his stomach twisted in knots. He gulped as a tremor ran throughout his body.

His headache forgotten, he focused his attention on her. Regardless of the loathing and abhorrence they felt toward each other, feelings Merlin shoved away that moment, he hesitantly placed his hand on her shoulder.

The movement alerted Morgana and she turned her head to him. Tears, continued to fall freely, her lips apart, her breaths came in short gasps as she chocked on the sobs that were already shaking her body. He lost his voice, his mouth opened and closed again, no words were spoken. She merely stared at him, her eyes widening as she became aware of his hand on her and she shrugged it off quickly.

"Morgana, are you alright?" He finally found his voice, the question came in a whisper.

No response, just gaping at him; she glanced around her, sniffing.

A deep breath in, she tried to calm herself, she closed her eyes, shoving the horrible images away , deep inside her mind, out of her reach. She proceeded to leave the bed, leaving a bewildered Merlin behind.

She appeared to be fine, having taken control over her breathing and her eyes dry, no longer glittering with newly formed tears. He watched her move to the window, standing next to it, her back to him. He no longer can see her face. The moonlight was the only source of light in the room.

"Morgana." he called her once more, softly. He sighed and reluctantly stood up, getting off the bed. He was lightheaded, his vision was fuzzy, and he rubbed his eyes, willing the dizziness away.

He breathed in, walking to her and stopping only a few feet away.

"Are you alright?" she heard him ask her again and she hated how weak and fragile she appeared to him. She opened the window allowing the night gentle and cold breeze in, hoping it would erase the evidence of her vulnerability. She was afraid to reply; afraid that her voice might fail her too, her emotions were already out of her control. So she continued to ignore him, continued to take deep breaths, hopping he would go to sleep, leave her alone. But he did not; he stood there, just watching her.

Another deep breath in, she closed her eyes. Turning around, she exhaled slowly, her eyes flickered open and they locked gaze. Merlin watched silently as all the emotions left her features, her face was blank.

"You must be pleased, seeing me like this?" He shook his head.

"I'm not like you Morgana. I can't be pleased over someone's distress."

She snorted, raising an eyebrow. "Somehow, I find it hard to believe you." She told him. He could barely keep his eyes open, glancing back to the bed; he could almost hear it calling him. He felt so tired except he needed to stay awake. He was not going to leave her like this, even if she was trying very hard to hide her worry.

Wordlessly, his eyes turned gold and the whole room lighted up.

They both shielded their eyes at the sudden brightness. Merlin rubbed his eyes again, yawning.

Much better. He thought and looked to her and was surprised to see her staring at him with a dumbstruck expression.

He scoffed. "What?"

"Nothing…" she shook her head, taking a step backward. "It's just… that was the first time I saw you use magic." She confessed, stuttering, her voice shaking, unsure.

His frown deepened, he opened his mouth to ask her to explain more but Morgana spoke, elaborating.

"I meant...not as Emrys, but as …well you." She raised her hand and pointing at him.

"But Emrys and I …"He paused, tilting his head to the side "we are the same person?" He reasoned, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Well, not to me…"she told him "I am yet to believe that you have magic." She reached her hand, grabbing a vial from the table. Morgana walked and handed it to him.

Her hand still outreached, he observed her with confusion and suspicion. His eyes were flickering from the bottle and her face.

"What for?" he asked.

"Hangover." She replied calmly.

Sensing his obvious distrust and skepticism, she rolled her eyes. "Honestly! It is for your hangover. Gaius made it."

Still not completely certain, he hesitated for a second before he took hold of the bottle, opening and sniffing it. He glanced up and saw her smiling wickedly at him.

"If I wanted to kill you, do you not think I would have attempted to do so while you were drunk, or better yet, asleep? Wouldn't it be easy, quick and effective," She bit down her lower lip, "but fortunately for you, painless."

He narrowed his eyes. "You are right" he stated and emptied the contents of the bottle in one gulp. Merlin squinted at the horrible and bitter taste. It was queasy but he forced himself to swallow it.

Morgana thought that he might throw up again so she distanced herself from him. Sitting on the chair by the table, she smirked at the face he made.

The effects were quick and before he knew it, the headaches as well as the haziness that clouded his eyes were gone. He looked around, still not completely used to everything that was happening around him; well, them.

The calm and the quiet that surrounded him made him realize how late it was.

He spotted the dagger on her night stand. He quirked an eyebrow up.

"What's that?" He inquired and she understood his question.

"A dagger." She answered, her expression deadpanned.

He sighed and reached for it. "Why would you need it?"

She shrugged "the truth?" She asked him, crossing her arms over her chest.

He nodded, inspecting the blade.

"Initially…"she started, uncrossing her arms and leaning forwards "I was going to drive it through you and watch you bleed to death."

"Oh!" He expressed, his eyes widening.

"But do not worry. Obviously, I did not carry on with my plan."

"Obviously." He whispered. He was furious at himself. Giving her an effortless opportunity to take his life. Everything would have been lost.

Arthur was...no, is right, I am an idiot.

"So you wanted to kill me?" He interpreted her words. She nodded her head, smiling airily.

"So you were lying to me earlier when you wanted me to drink that potion…"he started and she nodded again, no need to lie or be dishonest.

He scoffed "I should have known better." He said bitterly.

"You should have" she echoed. "But, I am giving you a warning; it will not be the last time. Mark my words Emrys, I will have my revenge."

"Why?" he asked, tossing the knife on the bed.

"Why am I giving you a fair warning?"

"No." he shook his head. "Why didn't you kill me?" He clarified, running a hand through his hair.

She inhaled and shrugged her shoulders. Morgana looked down, her right hand rubbing circles on her stomach.

"I believe that carrying a child has made me soft, Merlin." She mimicked him and he glared at her.

"I am serious Morgana." His voice rising for the first time. Seeing him like this she was reminded of Emrys, the old wrinkle-faced man. She wondered how she never made the connection, never seen the similarity between the two. But then again, she never, not in a million years would have suspected Merlin to possess magic. The thought of him being the most powerful sorcerer to ever live would not have crossed her mind, ever.

"Fine…"she snapped, glowering fiercely at him.

"I had every intension to do it, to kill, until you started to weep like a small child. Begging and pleading for my forgiveness" she spat, standing up. "You were so pathetic and weak. And I knew and was certain that seeing me like this…alive, furthermore, with your child." She was standing in front of him; she poked him in the chest.

"Guilt and self-reproach will eat you alive and I will stand by and watch you torture yourself for what you have done to me. After all, you do blame yourself for what I have become." She composed herself quickly and he looked down where she had jabbed him, because that was how it felt. Her words were a stab straight to his heart.

"Cold-hearted." He whispered under his breath, but by the glare she was giving him, he knew she heard him.

He swallowed hard. "I tried Morgana, I really did. But if the only way to end your constant threats and hatred toward Arthur and Camelot was killing you, believe me, I would not have hesitated to do it again."

Her expression mirrored his, both shocked and astonished, taken aback by what he uttered. He didn't mean to say that to her. Nevertheless, taking it back was not an option, since what he said was the truth and they both knew it.

"Now, who is the cold-hearted?" She smirked, trying to hide her utter astonishment.

"You and I are very much alike Merlin, we are ready…"

"I am nothing like you and I will never be!" He yelled.

She ignored his interruption and added firmly "…both ready to do whatever it might take to achieve our dreams" she paused "Perhaps one day you will come to realize how similar we are to each other, despite the fact that we wish for different things. You fail to see it now, blind by the fear that you might actually be like me."

They were glaring at each other. Their eyes reflecting their aversion.

A knock on the door startled them; they both shared a look before, Morgana headed to the door, answering it. She pulled open revealing a knight.

"I heard screaming coming from here? Is everything alright M'lady?" he asked her, his eyes looking over her shoulders, trying to scan the chamber.

"Oh!" Her lips curved up, forming a big and shy smile. She leaned her head against the door frame. "Worry not. Merlin was going to the privy and spotted a spider." She winkled her eyebrows at him, glancing at Merlin then back to the knight. "Who knew that Merlin could be easily frightened by a little, black and hairy spider?"

Merlin gasped from behind her and her smile turned into a grin.

"But it was a woman's voice?" The knight questioned, not quite believing what she was saying.

Merlin appeared, poking his head, resting it on her shoulder and offering a lopsided smile.

"It was." He affirmed. "But it was not a scream." Morgana snorted but was intrigued to hear to what he was going to say. She was surprised to feel him warp his hand around her waist.

"I'm sorry. We will try to be quiet next time." He took a deep breath, regretting what he was about to do. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her neck. He felt her shiver under his touch.

"Right dear?" He addressed Morgana. She said nothing and he glanced up and winked at the man. The latter understood what Merlin meant, his cheeks reddened in embarrassment.

"I'm terribly sorry, Sire. I'll leave you to …well…have a great night." He addressed him as sire, if Merlin was stunned by it, he didn't show it.

Once the knight disappeared, he pulled away from her. She slammed to the door shut. He cringed, anticipating what was coming.

"What the hell was that?" She hissed. "I cannot believe you told such a thing."

He huffed. "What did you think? He thought that I scream like a woman."

"That is not what I told him" she argued.

He snorted "But you did implicate it. It's the same thing."

"Fine. You would think by now, Arthur would start to choose his knights more carefully. That man is stupid. We are both fully dressed, albeit I'm wearing a nightgown but look at you…" Merlin still had his trousers and both the shirt and the jacket on.

"How could he possibly believe what you said?" She wondered, shaking her head.

He shrugged, not answering. Felling uncomfortable discussing such a subject with her, he decided to say nothing, hoping that she would drop it.

Luckily for him, she didn't speak of it again, but instead she told him.

"It was not very clever of you to go to the tavern and get yourself drunk." She complained. "You could have slipped and started to mumble, telling…" Merlin cut her off.

"I know, you're right." He paused sat down, taking a deep breath. "It was not my plan."

"And what was your plan?"

"I saw Gwaine, he told me where he was going and I thought I could get him drunk. Hoping that maybe I could get some answers about this life."

"Did you?" He shook his head, "Arthur joined us and…"

"You ended up drunk, barely able to stand on your own." She finished for him.

"Not something I am proud of, believe me." He groaned.

"Well, I have been luckier than you." His eyes brightened up. She pointed toward to table, and he noticed for the first time half a dozen books on it.

Morgana helped herself with some water. "I went to the library." She continued.

"And you brought books?"

"History books." She clarified. Morgana yawned and stood up.

Merlin finally understood what she meant.

"Did you find anything?"

"A lot." her answer was short, she didn't elaborate. His curiosity building up, he grabbed one of the books. Before he opened it, he saw Morgana laying on the bed, her back to him. He sighed and turned his attention back to the book in his hands. Time to get some information.

She felt a hand shaking her, urgently. Could vaguely hear her name being called out.

"Morgana, wake up. Wake up."

She groaned, cracking one eye open. She huffed when she saw his face.

"It is you." she acknowledged with growl. "What do you want?" She could see how shocked he was. It was understandable, because she had been when she'd first read those books.

He waved a book in front of her.

"This is impossible and unbelievable."

"Read the rest of the books Merlin, they all say the same thing." She said, yawing and closed her eyes again, going to back to sleep.

He shook her awake once more "I've read them all."

Her eyes fluttered open. "All?" She asked disbelievingly. "What time is it?" She sat up.

"It's morning." He answered her and she noticed the dark circles under his eyes and she scowled.

"You spent the whole night reading?" She questioned, rubbing her eyes.

He nodded. She stretched out, moaning in the process.

"This cannot be true, Morgana." Merlin said again. He placed the book on her night stand. "The druids wouldn't have done such a thing to one of their own."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not one of them."

"Yes, you are." He exclaimed "You have magic."

She let out a forlorn sigh. "Merlin…" she began, crossing her arms over her chest… "Shortly after I had arrived to their camp, an army attacked them. Killing almost everyone…a massacre happened that day, all because Uther had thought that I had been kidnapped. It was my mistake. Do you really think they would be kind to me?"

"I…"he opened his mouth and closed, feeling lost of words. "I still cannot believe it" he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.

"You have read the books; they all share the same thing, Merlin. When I returned to Camelot after Arthur so foolishly thought he had rescued me, it seemed that they had brought prisoners with him. One of them confessed that I had sought them out because I had magic , not been kidnapped by them. "

"But Uther refused to believe so…" Merlin chimed in.

"So he sent for the witch-finder."Morgana nodded, agreeing.

"And instead of Gaius getting tortured by him, you went through that." He shook his head. "How could Uther do that to you?"

She didn't comment on that, she simply said:

"Somehow I escaped before my trial and everything went downhill for Uther."

They sat in silence, letting the newly found information sink in. It was a lot to take in after all, but there were still unclear things, like what happened to Morgana after she ran away; where she stayed. They had to find out these things in another way.

"How are you feeling?" Morgana asked him after a while, when the silence became too awkward to bear.

He took a deep breath "Surprised, but relieved." He confessed with a small smile.

She quirked an eyebrow. "Relieved? How could you possibly be relieved after everything that you learned?" she snapped.

"I didn't mean it in a good way…" she snorted and he rolled his eyes.

"I just thought that the reason this happened was because I told you that I had magic." He shrugged. "But it wasn't."

"Just something that you don't have to blame yourself for." She told him, getting up.

"Where are you going?" he asked her, replicating her action.

"I'm famished. I am to get ready for the day." She answered him.

He frowned. "What am I supposed to do in the mean time?"

She smirked "Take those books back."

"Merlin! Slow down." Morgana grabbed his arm, stopping him in the process. They had just reached the bottom of the stairs, Morgana leaned her back against the wall.

Merlin did as he was told, frowning down at her. "You don't look so good." He observed.

"Of course, I am not fine, Merlin. Can't you see that I'm out of breath?" She hissed, trying to keep her voice down, so she wouldn't catch anyone's attention.

She glanced up. "Who knew how tiring descending the stairs could be?"

Merlin finally understood what she meant; he offered her a small and sympathetic smile. "Take as much time as you inquire Morgana. I'm not in hurry."

"You have to do better than that if you wish to appear as one of noblemen" she stated.

"After watching Arthur for seven years, I think I have a great idea how to act like them." He answered, starting to make their way toward the dining room.

"Really? How so?"

"All I have to do is act like a prat and they won't suspect a thing." He told her smugly. Morgana laughed despite herself.

"You think he is a prat?"

"A royal one…" He clarified, sadness overcoming him. "…but a great friend."

She stopped abruptly and so did he.

"Can I ask you something?" Merlin nodded.

"After you killed me…"She said in a whisper, just in case someone might hear them. "Did Arthur die?"

Merlin scowled, but nodded, uttering yes. Her lips curved up, forming a lopsided smile.

"You look pleased." He stated and she shrugged.

"At least I did not die in vain."

Three days passed and both Merlin and Morgana were extremely surprised at their power to control themselves. It was a wonder that they had not killed each other just yet.

They argued about almost everything and anything. From time to time, they would merely disagree just to annoy the other. Well, at least they consented on the sleeping arrangement. Of course, Merlin, ever the gentlemen, had let her take the bed and him the floor. They both had settled on locking the door during the night in order to prevent anyone walking in on them and getting suspicious. They would not allow an unfortunate mistake.

During the meals, Merlin and Morgana would eat with the king and queen. Merlin noted that Gaius, the majority of time preferred eating alone, in the comfort of his chamber.

Morgana discovered that she spent a great part of her time next to Gaius, being a healer and strong sorceress; the physician would seek her help with cases that science could not explain, or with making potions.

As for Merlin, he was fairly occupied with council meetings; accompanying Arthur in his hunting trips. All in all, Merlin realized that he still had to be with Arthur all day, saving and advising him. So nothing changed, except he no longer had to dress him and do his serving duties.

Merlin had caught Morgana, not once but twice, during dining, eyeing the knife before her, she would look between it and Arthur. Merlin, of course, had been keeping a sharp eye out on her, had noticed that and distanced the sharp weapon from her. She had responded by rolling her eyes and saying "You don't trust me? I'm hurt".

After the second time, he threatened to take away her magic and she reluctantly promised him that she would not kill Arthur; he glared at her, and she huffed and promised that she wouldn't kill anyone.

Morgana was making her way to the library, when she saw out of the corner of her eye, Merlin had been following her ever since she had left the dining room. She exhaled in annoyance. She decided to quicken her pace.

Merlin stopped abruptly, confused. Morgana was nowhere to be found, she was just walking in front of him.

He checked his surroundings, looking to both sides and yet there was no sight of her. He sighed and started to jog.

Suddenly, a hand came out of nowhere and he was violently pulled into an alcove.

Before he was fully hauled inside, he heard someone saying.

"Look who I found." Merlin yelped and saw Morgana staring wide-eyed at him. She gulped and made her way out of the alcove, hesitantly.

He did the same, fully emerging from there.

His eyes widened and his heart ached.

Merlin and Morgana, shocked, said respectively. "Freya?" "Mordred?"


	5. Chapter 5

They both stared back at the other two. Merlin felt lost, paralyzed. His whole body failed him. He wanted to run to her, take her in his arms but he was stuck in that position, staring like a fool.

There standing next to Mordred, who never looked more beautiful and more alive, was Freya.

Morgana, surprised too, noticed that Merlin had stopped breathing, his lips apart. She glanced at Mordred and the young woman. She concluded that her name must be Freya. She did not really care. She leaned closer to Merlin.

"Breath, Merlin," she whispered in his ear, glancing back at the pair. She was puzzled when she saw Freya looking between her and Merlin, taking a step back. The woman glanced at Mordred and nodded to him, she said something to him in a whisper that Morgana couldn't hear, and then practically ran the other way. Without looking back.

Morgana frowned, Merlin's heart sank.

Mordred, chuckling, approached them.

"That went well." He laughed at their expression.

"But she…she ran away." Merlin uttered, astonished, his eyes reflecting both his shock and sadness. Merlin continued to stare; he could still see Freya's back.

"Considering what happened last time she was here, I really do not blame her." Mordred replied. His laughter ceased but the smile remained on his face. "All thanks to mother." He added, patting Merlin in the back.

Merlin and Morgana's eyes doubled in size.

"Your mother is here?" Morgana wondered, her heart beating fast.

"Where is she?" Merlin asked. He and Morgana looked around them.

"I see you two decided to be humorous today." The druid boy raised his eyebrows. He moved closer to Morgana, leaning over, he pressed a gentle kiss to her temple; Morgana did her best not to gasp.

"I need to report to the king, I shall see you later mother." He stated and glanced at Merlin. " Be careful," He smirked at him and walked passed them. Neither of them moved. They turned around watching Mordred leave. They stood there for a couple of seconds, before Morgana ended the pregnant silence as she grabbed Merlin's arm, pulling him out of his state of bewilderment.

"I think I am going to faint" Morgana murmured. Worried, Merlin tightened his hold on her. Together they walked until they found a place where Morgana sat down and Merlin next to her.

"He called me mother." Merlin nodded his head, not really knowing what could be said in the light of this new discovery.

"What do you suppose he meant by that?" Morgana asked, her voice shaky and unsure.

Merlin swallowed hard, so Mordred was alive. Now he had to keep an eye on the druid boy as well. With both Morgana and Mordred in Camelot, Merlin was aware of how difficult his job to keep Arthur safe was. He still didn't trust Morgana completely; he'd be a fool if he would do so in such short time. Yet, he didn't know if Mordred was destined to kill Arthur in this life as well. His mind was churning through many possibilities.

He shook his head. "I don't know, Morgana…" His response was no help to explain the situation.

Morgana folded her hands in her lap, glanced at Merlin, her eyes met his. She could read his confusion

"I need to go...find…" He stuttered. She knew who he was referring to and it made no sense to her the sudden sorrow that washed over his face. To be honest, she didn't care. Whoever this woman was, she appeared to have quite the effect on Merlin. Morgana didn't think much of it. All her mind could focus and hear was the word Mother. The utterance that had came from Mordred's mouth.

As he said so, Merlin stood up. Puzzled by her lack of attentiveness, Merlin cleared his throat.

"Morgana?" He called out, nudging her shoulders, trying to gain her attention. He did, for she looked up at him, her brow furrowed.

"Go. Go find her Merlin." He took one last look at her before he ran in the direction of Freya.

Morgana sat there, staring ahead. But suddenly, her eyes widening, as her mind finally registered what the druid boy had said. She stood up as quick as she could be in her current state.

She knew exactly where to find Mordred.

She marched toward the throne room, when she reached it, she nodded her head to the two guards and they opened it for her, allowing her in. She went inside with steady steps.

She saw Arthur and Mordred conversing, yet she could not hear what they were saying. Her eyes were focused on one thing and one thing only.

Mordred.

She quickened her pace. The two men stopped talking looking at her.

"Morgana." she vaguely heard her brother call her name, could sense his annoyance. She shrugged it off.

"I gather you heard that Mordred came back." Arthur said when he realized that Morgana was ignoring him.

She opened her arms wide open, when she was close enough to them. She closed her eyes as she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. She refused to cry. Mordred was alive; there was no reason for her to do so.

"You are fine." She confessed, her hands tightening her hold on him. Mordred embraced her back. She heard him chuckle, her heart clenched and she bit down her bottom lip, suppressing a gasp.

Arthur growled, standing up from his throne.

"Oh look…"He exclaimed, the two broke their hug. Morgana pulled Mordred at arm's length. Her eyes, bright with glee, she observed him, silently. "Surprisingly, he is still in one piece." Arthur derided and Morgana rolled her eyes at his words, but she glanced back at Mordred.

"I missed you so much." She whispered, her lips curved forming a big smile.

Mordred closed his eyes, briefly. He grimaced. Morgana saw that.

"Are you hurt?" She inquired her voice thick with worry. She tried to inspect him for any injuries.

"The only thing that got hurt is his pride." Arthur placed his hands on Morgana and pulled her next to him.

"For god's sake Morgana, he is a knight of Camelot," Arthur started, "Quit treating him like a child." He demanded in a firm voice.

Morgana quirked an eyebrow at Arthur. Was he really trying to doing that? Who did he think he was? The king? Well he was, but not to her.

Morgana considered what Arthur had said about Mordred not being a child; she wasn't blind, it was obvious to her since he was wearing the uniform of the knights. For a second she had to remind herself that….that this Mordred was different from the Mordred she had known before. This one didn't betray her, was not overcome with sadness and hurt that he had suffered as a child. This one had called her mother.

No, this one was nothing like the one she had know, the one she had buried, this Mordred looked, simply …happier. That thought made her smile.

"I was gone for only one week, nothing dangerous." Mordred told her, Morgana suspected that he was trying to reassure her.

"Morgana, he went to Ismere's kingdom. He is fine."

"Still…" Morgana sighed, "You sent him all alone. You did not send Sir Leon and Gwaine with him." She snapped at Arthur and he huffed.

"What if something happened?" Morgana countered, crossing her arms, glowering at the king who fought the urge to roll his eyes at her.

"Again, hee is a knight of Camelot. We already went through this prior to his departing; he is both old and strong enough to take care of himself. We all know how powerful he is. You of all people should know that, you taught him to heal, and Merlin, how to fight with magic. So please, stop worrying about him."

"He is right," Mordred agreed, nodding his head. He looked at Morgana…he frowned.

"Are you crying?" Morgana, having been shocked by what Arthur had said, failed to notice that tears had formed in her eyes. She touched her face, looking at her wet fingers, she glanced up.

"No…I am not" she said quickly, ignoring the proof. She wiped the tears away.

"This is not one of those moments, is it?" Arthur chimed in, growling.

"What moments?" Puzzled, Morgana asked, her eyes flickering between the two men before her.

"You know…" Mordred started but Arthur cut him off.

"…one minute you are talking normally and the next either you're crying your eyes out or you're laughing for no reason." Mordred cleared his throat, wincing at the king's choice of words, Morgana's frown deepened. "You make it sound like I am crazy."

Arthur snorted "We did consider that fact." Morgana wasn't amused by that.

She shook her head, "No, it is not one of those …moments."

"So you are fine?" Arthur asked and Morgana nodded.

"Magnificent," The king exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "Now that we established that Mordred is safe and sound, if you don't mind, he and I have important matters to discuss."

Morgana glared at Arthur, "As a matter of fact I do mind, I am staying here."

"Mother!" Mordred exclaimed, he rubbed his temple as a sign of his frustration, "I shall come find you once I'm finished." He paused "I promise." He smiled and gave her his best puppy dog eyes. Morgana narrowed her own.

"Fine" she huffed and turned around. "I will leave" she stated, addressing Arthur.

"Finally," The king exclaimed.

Morgana headed toward her chamber; opening it, she found Merlin sitting on the bed, pouting. He looked up, upon hearing the door, let out a forlorn sigh and then looked down at the floor. His shoulders slumped; his hair was messed up as if Merlin had run his hand through it so many times.

"Why the long face?" She asked, moving closer to the bed. She made her way to the other side of the bed and joined Merlin on it. He still did not reply. Merely shrugged.

"I gather your conversation with Freya didn't go the way you wished it to be." She assumed, her hands rested on her stomach, she waited for his answer.

Merlin shook his head. "I didn't even find her. I searched the whole castle and the city for her and yet no trace of her."

"So…" she began, looking over at him "Who is she?" Morgana asked.

Merlin took a deep breath in, he glanced up at her.

"Her name is Freya…"Merlin answered; his voice husky and that was all he told her. He stared at her, he leaned his head against the headboard. He blinked twice.

"That is something that I already know…" she said when he didn't say more. The emotions, with which his eyes burned, made her shiver. She swallowed hard, her throat was dry. Once again his eyes traveled down, and then he looked away.

They sat there for long period of time, each one absorbed by his own thoughts, the day was still young, yet its events, so far, had took them completely off guard. Understandable, everything they had seen for the past week were hard to comprehend. She still couldn't fully grasp what was happening. She supposed Merlin was going through the same. Despite the fact that everything he had ever wanted had became true, she knew that he was yet to accept these changes.

The long pause, finally, came to an end. Merlin put an end to it when he cleared his throat.

His eyes flickered up, meeting hers. He hesitated, that was quite obvious as he bit down his bottom lip, as if he was contemplating over the idea of telling her about such personal thing. Something he had told no one about. However, he had kept those memories inside for too long and he reached a phase when he felt unable to hold back how overwhelming and crushing they were to him. He simply needed to let it out, as if he speaking them out loud would ease his tormented soul.

So he opened up to her, he told her how he had freed Freya, how he had took care of her, how he had been thrown in dungeons when he attempted to bring her Arthur's food. She laughed and she said that she indeed recalled that incident, even though, deep down it felt like that had accrued in another life. Somehow, that was true…before he started to inform her of his plan to get her out of Camelot, Morgana cut him off.

"You care about her?" It came out as a question, even though she meant it as a statement. Her voice was soft, it might be due to the way he spoke, the look on his face and the way his eyes would flicker with sadness as he mentioned the curse or how they would brighten up with utter delight when he informed her of Freya's dream. The house by lake, and everything else.

Merlin merely hummed a 'yes'. His eyes refused to meet hers.

"I was going to…." he looked up, "I was going to give up everything for her…"

"Everything?" Morgana wondered in bewilderment. She frowned.

"My destiny, Albion, Arthur…." Merlin clarified. Morgana quirked an eyebrow. What did he mean by that?

Her frown deepened at the word destiny.

The first time she had heard the word destiny, it had been soon followed by the word doom; Emrys was her doom. She chose not to comment on that, dreading what he would say.

"But that didn't happen." Merlin added, taking a deep breath in.

"Why?" she was curious and she knew she wouldn't be able to hide it.

"She died… he trailed off, his voice quivered "….she was killed." Merlin said. A tremor ran throughout her body, his tone breathtaking.

Morgana understood what he was talking about. She had gone through that grief, had felt that suffering. She had lamented her sister and Mordred. She knew what it was like to have someone to care about and them being unjustly and wrongly snatched away.

"What happened?"

"She was a druid girl…you know how they were treated …Arthur killed her." He confessed. If only she knew how hard it was for him to utter those words.

She certainly didn't expect that answer.

"Pardon?" Her eyes narrowed.

Merlin didn't have the heart to say those words again. Saying them once were enough to break his heart. He thought he didn't need to repeat them; he was sure Morgana had heard them, loud and clear.

And she did, she just couldn't quite believe what she heard. She straightened her back.

Morgana managed to keep a straight face for about two seconds before she broke into hysterical and uncontrollable laughter.

"Why are you laughing?" He was hurt, she could see it, yet she couldn't stop laughing, she tried, she really did.

She shook her head. Gasping for air, she briefly wondered if this was one of those moments that Arthur had mentioned. She seriously doubted it.

"Arthur …killed….the woman you loved and yet…you still…" Morgana managed to speak and then Merlin interrupted her.

"I didn't love her. That is not what I said…"He snapped at her, realizing that he should not have told her that. However it was too late. He regretted confessing to her wholeheartedly.

"You said you were going to leave everything for her, did you not?" She countered, using his exact words against him.

"No…that was not…she was cursed…" He wished to have a chance to explain, but Morgana was having none of it, she cut him off.

"Of course she was cursed! She met you…" Morgana yelled. Her emotions out of control, she glared at him.

"How dare you?" he hissed, gritting his teeth. He stood up, feeling the urge to distance himself from her "Don't make this about you. She was nothing like you."

"She had magic and your king killed her. You could have stopped it…."

"I tried…" he yelled, his voice hard, they were both glaring daggers at each other.

"It's not just her, many druids, others with magic were killed…you let Arthur murder them…you just stood by as our kin were slaughtered…."

"It's not like that…"he retorted, making a fist; his hands shook uncontrollably.

"I tried…I really tried to do my best…" Frustrated, her words had hit a nerve and they both knew it. Merlin was crushed by them and Morgana saw that as an opportunity to carry on with her assault against his emotions, regret and guilt being the most evoked ones.

"Their blood is on your hands…my blood is on your hand." Complete silence followed her statement. His eyes widened, his bottom lip trembled. His jaw dropped. His face was drained off all color. That was the last blow. It felt like a sword had been driven through him. It was a total surprise to him his ability to remain on his feet, considering he felt like a feather in storm.

"You don't know what it was like….I never meant for any of that to happen to them…or to you" He added the last words in a whisper. His eyes were red with unshed tears. He took a step back. Morgana took as a chance she moved from her position and walked to him, stopping only a few feet away.

"Oh please…"she scoffed, rolling her eyes, unable to take his words seriously… "You could have saved them with a mere flick of your hand. You were just too much of a coward…ashamed of who you are…you chose to hide your gifts….you don't deserve them." She was in full mode, her anger had taken over her, memories of her begging him to ease her mind when she had thought she had magic, took control over her, his betrayal and disloyalty clutching her heart, poisoning her mind and her body. Literally.

"Uther executed so many innocent people under your watch."

He laughed, bitterly and forcefully.

"You're not so different from him then. After all, had you not done the same when you overthrew him?"

Her mouth opened and closed twice, Morgana searched for words to say; something to erase that smug smile he was giving her.

It took a while for her to fully realize that Merlin had in fact compared her to Uther. That cold hearted, blind, ignorant and tyrant king. That was unacceptable and unfair. She was nothing like him. What Merlin said finally made her snap and lose whatever amount of control she had left over her body. So she did the only thing she had been dying to do for the past five days she had been there.

At first she didn't realize what she had done, everything had happened so fast. One moment she was glowering at Merlin with utter disbelief and the next Merlin was flying backward, he hit the wall and fell on the ground. She hovered over him, he tried to stand up, he lifted his hand certainly to defend himself, but she said quickly.

"Careful what you might do next, I shall not be the only one you could hurt…"his eyes landed on her stomach, Merlin whimpered, his hand fell back on his side. He felt defeated, angry at her for what she was doing and the way she was using her state in her favor. She was right; he could do nothing, not when she looked like that.

Morgana smirked; she outstretched her hand and began to make a fist. Merlin felt his throat closing up; the air was hard for him to inhale. He wrapped his hands around his throat, gasping for air.

Morgana kneeled next to him; she leaned closer to him, staring as he struggled for breath. She thought that she would feel happy, relived, and triumphant to see him like that. But suddenly, she started to recall her own similar situation when she had been like him, on the ground, wheezing, dying. The tears in his eyes, the pain in them, and the regret….Her own tears formed and threatened to reflect her current weakness. Pushing away the memory of him, holding her in his arms, just before she was claimed by darkness and the fear of death, she clenched her fist harder, Merlin let out a silent scream.

"I trusted you. I confided in you…" she whispered to him and then unclenched her hand. Merlin fell to the floor, panting, catching his breath, his eyes fixed on Morgana.

She shook her head, standing up. Her eyes turned gold and Merlin was claimed by darkness.

She slowly stood up, her eyes fixed on him. She was breathing heavily, her hands shaking. She didn't know what to do. She looked around her.

She shook her head, mentally snapping herself back to reality. She stumbled backward, her eyes once again on Merlin. She had to leave before he woke up or someone would find him in such state.

She had to run away. She quickly fled her chamber.

She cleaned her face, wiping away any evidence of distress that the knights might see.

Merlin winced as he got off the ground. He gritted his teeth, inspecting his surroundings; Morgana was nowhere to be seen. Afraid that Morgana might have attempted something on Arthur's life, he started toward the door; his mind was set on finding Morgana before it was too late.

He heard someone calling and he recognized as Mordred's voice. He swallowed hard, composing himself quickly as Mordred walked toward him, his features reflecting his worry and Merlin prayed that nothing bad had happened.

"Have you seen Mother?" Mordred asked, "She said she would come see me after I finish speaking with Arthur."

Merlin shrugged, tried to appear ignorant to the knight, but the latter saw right through him.

"Have you two had another fight about Freya?"

Morgana managed to leave the city, she exited the castle's walls easily, and she had been walking for a while now, with no idea where she was heading.

She heard the sound of a carriage approaching.

She quickened her pace, hoping it wouldn't be someone she knew or someone who might cause her trouble. She didn't think she had the strength.

Her eyes widened when she saw the driver.

"Stop!" She yelled and walked quickly towards the carriage.

"Morgana, what are you doing here?"

"Hello, Freya! Where are you going?" Morgana asked, breathlessly.

Freya furrowed her brow. "Back to my house" she answered honestly.

Morgana sighed in relief, her eyes brightening up with hope.

"Very well." Morgana exclaimed, beaming. "I'm coming with you."


	6. Chapter 6

"Have you and mother had another dispute about Freya?" Mordred asked again; crossing his arms over his chest, his eyes meeting Merlin's.

The latter gulped, judging by the firm ton Mordred was using, Merlin assumed two things ; either the druid boy was very protective of Morgana, something he wouldn't dismiss considering the fact that he had addressed her as mother. Or that the subject of Freya was a delicate and a touchy matter; a matter that apparently was source of an argument between Merlin and Morgana.

Sighing and realizing that Mordred clearly had no idea of what had happened and furthermore, no knowledge of Morgana's possible whereabouts, Merlin shook his head, muttering a "No"

His voice was steady and calm. Hopefully Mordred would not sense any hints of Merlin's fib.

"I have been looking for her myself….you didn't happen to see her, have you?" Merlin asked quietly.

Mordred, clearly, believing what Merlin had said, uncrossed his arms, his features softening, yet his brow was still slightly wrinkled.

"Strange." He commented and tilted his head "I supposed that she would be already in my chamber after my briefing with the king."

Merlin nodded. "Yes, very strange." He lied, offering a small smile and added "Perhaps she is with Gaius…." The warlock suggested.

The suggestion was more of a diversion. Anxiety and worry had been building up ever since he ran out, looking for Morgana; if anything Merlin was eager to see if Arthur was fine.

"I will go see if she is there." Mordred said, turning around, obviously heading to Gaius' chamber. But he was stopped when a hand grabbed his wrist.

Mordred arched an eyebrow at Merlin. The latter pulled his hand quickly.

At that, the druid's boy frown deepened. Merlin quickly thought of something to explain the gesture.

"You look exhausted…why don't go rest…I'm sure we will see her by lunch." Merlin told him nervously, he averted his eyes away, looking anywhere but at Mordred.

Confused and overwhelmed with a felling of puzzlement, Merlin reflected upon the various conversations he had shared with the young knight before the war had started, they were never simple, never civil, not once had they spoken like two normal persons with common interest. Usually for them, accusation would be made; they would openly and frankly express their distrust and dislike for each other. They'd hiss or whisper in angry manner, trying not to gain the unwanted and prying eyes of Arthur or the rest of the knights. Though the hate was there in their glares, in their words, fairly evident.

Mordred was tempted to accept the offer, he was tired, exhausted and Merlin had reckoned so, from the druid boy's posture, his slumped shoulders and his pale and slightly dirty skin. Merlin was surprised that it had taken him awhile to come to that obvious conclusion. Yet before Mordred got a chance to reply, a high pitched, though annoying, voice called from behind him, causing Mordred to turn around to meet its owner. The need to follow Mordred's actions was unnecessary and fairly pointless. Merlin believed so, for he would easily recognize that voice .It was Arthur's. However remembering how concerned he'd been moments before to check on the king's wellbeing, his blue worried eyes quickly looked over Mordred's shoulder, landing on said king.

He took in the king's state, instantly. His eyes were flickering up and down, checking very inch of his armor, looking for any signs of blood. There was no palpable indication that would imply that Morgana might have caused any trouble, seeing that the king didn't look alerted or injured.

Merlin finally allowed himself to breathe out in relief.

"Merlin…"Arthur said, once he reached them two. "I have been looking all over for you, as my court…" He trailed off as Mordred backed away, making a half turn.

"Perhaps you are right. I would not have another chance to rest." He peered up, to look at Arthur.

"I have training tomorrow morning." He continued mostly to Arthur, as if asking for his permission.

"Very well." Arthur said, nodding his head. "Until later"

Mordred glanced over at Merlin "Father."

Then at Arthur. "My lord." He gave Arthur a slight courtesy, before turning around leaving the two of them alone.

The two men remained silent; watching as the knight steadily retreated.

His eyes were fixed, almost glued to Mordred's back. As he watched him walk away, Merlin found himself ,rather unable to gaze away even after druid boy rounded a corner, eventually disappearing from his line of vision.

Arthur let a forlorn sigh and shook his head.

"No matter what …I will never understand him." He commented.

The king's utterance was met with complete silence. The court sorcerer wasn't paying attention to what his friend was saying, not that he was ingoing him, it was just that he was replaying over and over what Mordred had said, in his mind.

He assumed for a mere a second that he somehow, had misheard what the druid boy had uttered. But no, no mistake was made and Merlin had really heard the word loud and clear. Few hours before, he called Morgana Mother and now he called him father.

There were his parents?

Just when he thought that he wouldn't get any more unexpected surprises.

What was going on? Wasn't enough that he had to pretend that he was married to Morgana? But having Mordred addressing him as his father; wasn't something that Merlin had predicted.

Seeing the blank look on Merlin face, Arthur cleared his throat. He narrowed his eyes.

"Merlin." He called out, nudging his shoulder. That seemed to be affective as Merlin shook his head, a dumb expression washing over his features.

"Uhm…what?" He looked up, his face reflecting his disbelieve and astonishment. "Have you said something?"

Arthur huffed, "what's the matter now, Merlin?"

"Nothing" The warlock said quickly, too quickly and that only served to confirm Arthur's assumption that Merlin was withholding something from him.

"Off with it Merlin." Arthur crossed his arms as he waited for Merlin's reply.

Numerous thoughts seemed to jump all over his mind which he unreservedly wished to have their answers and finally discover some truths about this reality. However, surprisingly, from all the things he wanted to know, only one thought, truly seemed to gain his interest. It had Merlin even more curious, so he rushed to verbalize it.

"Am I not too young to be his father?"

Arthur stopped dead in his tacks, wide-eyed and lips apart, he stared at his court sorcerer.

The silence became awkward, as neither of them offered to put an end to it.

But then Arthur laughed. Merlin gaped at him.

First Morgana, now Arthur.

He wasn't exactly telling jokes, so the laughter was relatively inexplicable.

Possibly, it was family trait. He supposed, scoffing.

Moments later, Arthur calmed a bit. He placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder. They started their walk down the empty corridor.

"Do not tell me that you only realized how odd the whole matter with Mordred just now?"

For lack of a proper response, Merlin shrugged, not saying anything.

Arthur snorted. "How do you think I felt when I first heard him address you and Morgana as his parents?"

"You panicked?" Merlin taunted, smirking.

"That's an understatement. You act as if you didn't know what really happened that day .You were there, Merlin. I bloody fainted."

Merlin chuckled causing Arthur to narrow his eyes; he didn't appear to be amused.

Merlin suppressed his laughter. Just like Arthur had said, the warlock wasn't ignorance to that day's events, so he needed to hide his surprise.

"I'm sorry Arthur." The king didn't seem to believe his friend's request for forgiveness.

"Don't apologize unless you truly mean it, Merlin." He nudged Merlin on the back.

Due to the hard and fierce blow Merlin had received form Morgana during the morning; his back was still sore and aching. Merlin reacted to the hit he'd just got from Arthur. He winced and moved out of the king's reach.

Arthur scowled at that. "Are you alright?"

Merlin paused. His mind was churning through many possible responses.

Unfortunately, none of them were convincing. He could tell Arthur that he was still suffering the aftermaths of the hit he'd gotten from Morgana when he'd waken up the first time. However it was a poor excuse considering the incident had happened five days ago besides Gaius had inspected his injuries and had given him a treatment for them.

All and all, Merlin came to the conclusion that he had nothing to respond with except…well the truth which he cannot share with Arthur.

Eventually Merlin started to hum. His hands began to sweat. He usually had all sort of answers for Arthur, to explain anything. But standing there, his mouth opening and closing, no words were spoken, Merlin felt utterly speechless. He thought that with Arthur knowing about his magic, the time of lies and deception was far behind him. But apparently it wasn't the case.

It made his heart cringe.

Luckily for him, Merlin didn't have to say anything, for Arthur ended his misery with a soft chuckle.

"Morgana, huh?" His head snapped up, his eyes meeting Arthur's.

"What makes you think it's Morgana?" He inquired.

"Because I have been there, when Gwen with child, I mean." Arthur explained his voice genuinely caring.

"I seriously doubt it, Arthur" Merlin commented, continuing his walking. Arthur soon caught up.

"Merlin, wait." Arthur called out. Once he reached Merlin, he grabbed his arm, preventing him from walking away again.

"If I tell you something promise me you won't laugh." Arthur said, his expression turned serious. A rare thing Merlin had witnessed only during severe matters like the knights meetings or wars.

So Merlin nodded instantly.

"You're back hurt, does it not?" to that question, Merlin nodded once more.

"When Gwen was six months along…." he trailed off scowling. "Well to be more accurate, ever since she reached her six months of pregnancy and up until Edward was born, I had spent few nights sleeping in a chair. Some nights she'd toss and turn for the better part of the night…it was hard to get any sleep, so I slept in a chair and in the morning, I would be suffering for back pain."

"You think…"Merlin started carefully, trying to interrupt the king's words correctly. "My back aches because I slept on a chair..."

Arthur shrugged "Or on the floor." He added nonchalantly.

"Because of Gwen's tossing and turning, I'd sleep on the floor?" Merlin arched his eyebrow, looking at Arthur with bewilderment.

"What does Gwen have to do with any of this?" the king frowned, puzzled by Merlin's utterance.

"You just mentioned her name." The warlock argued.

Arthur opened his mouth, closed it then snapped. "I was giving you an example to relate to your situation.

"What situation?" Merlin asked.

"With Morgana." Arthur yelled, frustrated.

Now they were talking about Morgana again.

Had Arthur heard or seen anything that might got him suspicious.

"Then why did you say Gwen, if you meant Morgana?" Getting more confused, Merlin wondered.

"Oh my goodness." Arthur breathed out. His eyes were wide; he made a whole turn in front of Merlin. When he stopped he looked at him with parted lips.

"What did I say?" Merlin asked. Rather taken aback by Arthur.

"I…" Arthur paused, finding himself at loss of words which was unusual for him. "You could be fairly stupid, Merlin. Are you aware of that?"

"I honestly don't understand your approaches."

Arthur growled "I'm trying to offer you an advice here, Merlin…"

The latter, even though he had no clue what Arthur was babbling about, decided to humor him.

"Alright, tell me."

"Let's go somewhere more private." Arthur said and Merlin -like the good servant he once had been, followed silently.

Morgana had forgotten how it felt to be scared of, feared. It was a very pleasant and delightful feeling that she welcomed it wholly.

A feeling that had accompanied her as she ordered her bandits around or as she was spotted and recognized. Lady Morgana, the last priestess of the old religions. It had a ring; one that brought horror.

And for the past week, since she had woken up back in Camelot, fear was no more. She wasn't treated with fear but …with respect. She despised that. Because it only served to remind her of her years before Morgause took care of her.

But now, sitting next to Freya, the feeling had returned and Morgana couldn't hide her amusement, even if she tried.

Freya didn't argue much with Morgana after she'd declared that she intended on going back to her house.

Even if she had done so, Morgana reasoned, if Freya had refused to comply; both of them where far away from the gates of castle, and being heavy with a child wouldn't have been much of a problem, Morgana assumed that she could have easily got rid of Freya and put her hands on her carriage.

Luckily for the druid girl, it wasn't her time and she got to live for another day.

Freya had asked why Morgana had wanted to go with her and the lady had merely answered that she'd needed to change of scenery and Merlin was alright with that.

Morgana was still uncertain as to what she'd do once she was far enough from Camelot. But she was going to look for Morgause, that was her primary thought. None of those history books she'd read mentioned her sister's whereabouts or even fate.

Morgana was settled on finding out whichever.

Freya kept on steeling few glances at Morgana very now and then which irritated the lady of Camelot.

The silence was too heavy to bear and the ride was very boring. Morgana felt tired, the magical outburst she'd launched against Merlin finally started to take its toll on her. Her eyelids were heavy. Yet she continued to fight the need to drift into sleep. She couldn't risk it.

Air ruffled around her face was soft and a bit chilly which was no help to her because it only caused her body to enjoy the weather and begin to relax.

"How far are we from your house?" Morgana asked. Starting a conversation could at least take her mind of how tired she was.

"It's a day ride; Morgana. We won't reach the house until sundown." Freya answered.

"What?" Morgana exclaimed. She glanced down at her belly and suppressed a cry of frustration. If she wasn't with a child, such ride would not have been much of a problem to her.

But now, as if she wasn't tired enough, the entire ride could drain her magic completely. And she needed it, badly.

Could this day get any worse?

"I can take you back to Camelot, if you wish."

"NO!" she yelled, Freya moved away from Morgana, frowning.

"I apologize...I should not have…"Morgana started but was cut off when a patrol of Camelot's knights appeared before them.

As if she got an answer to her question. Her day just got a lot worse.

The group of knights approached them.

"Lady Morgana, Freya." One of the knight, she didn't really remember his name yet she recalled seeing him around the castle, greeted. So Freya was known to this knight. She noted.

"Is there a reason for you to obstruct our ride?" Morgana asked, her voice cold.

The knight didn't seem to be affect by her tone. He even decided to ignore her question.

How dare he?

"May I ask where you heading to?"

She was going to say that it was none of his business, but Freya stated first.

"My house. The lady Morgana shall be my guest."

The same knight, clearly the leader of the patrol, jumped off his horse.

"I'm afraid I cannot allow that." He said, he stood next to the carriage. He held out his hand for Morgana to take, but she ignored him and instead focused on what he said.

"What do you mean you cannot allow it?"

Did he know who she was?

The knight was as stubborn as Morgana, he didn't seem to be offended by what she did and continued to hold out his hand. Freya was already out of the carriage.

"A hunter had been attracted today by bandits. We are still looking for them."

Morgana raised an eyebrow. "And you assume that I will cancel my visit simply because you are incompetent to do your duty?"

"No such thing milady. You do not need to cancel it, only postpone it. I'm sure Freya, won't mind. It is after all for your own safely." He finally let his hand fall by his side.

Morgana snort. "I'm quite capable of protecting myself; I don't need your help." She smirked, widely at him.

Her statement was met with confusion, as all eyes were on her stomach.

She rolled her eyes. She gritted her teeth. She gave in

"We will be going back to Camelot, I presume."

The knight, who she really needed to know his name, nodded his hand. He, once again offered his hand and this time Morgana took it, compulsorily.

Once she was on the ground. She turned to Freya glaring at her. She looked around counting the knights.

There were so many of them, she wasn't certain if she could take them all down. Freya wasn't much of a problem.

But then she realized something.

"I can't ride a horse. I am with a child." That remark was quite useless as if she could conceal the bulge of a stomach.

Alright, so she still had a chance of not returning back to Camelot.

Much to her dismay, another knight cut in. "We can borrow the carriage if it is alright with you. We'll offer you a horse if you wish to leave for your house." that was meant to Freya. Morgana turned around, glowering at said woman. Who looked briefly between Morgana the two knights and then back to Morgana. She took a step back.

"Of course, I do not mind. Anything to provide you the comfort you need, Morgana."

Freya said .Her voice cheerful and relieved.

"That's absurd." Morgana said. If she was going back to that Castle, she would not go easily.

"You cannot possibly, let an armless young woman roam the forest on her own. "

The knights shared a look between them.

In the end, moments later after much discussing, Morgana found herself sitting once again in the carriage, with the rude and obnoxious knight next to her.

The latter had offered Freya his horse, and she along with another knight, were heading to her house. He'd offered her en escort as solution to the trouble Morgana had voiced.

They still hadn't started moving yet. The reins were out of the reach, but the man outstretched his hand, muttered something and the reins flew to his hands.

It took all her remaining energy not to gape at him and display her astonishment.

A knight with magic. Remarkable. How things were different here.

The journey back to Camelot began and the silence was far too awkward.

"You know Freya?" Morgana asked, causally.

The knight hummed in response.

"You fancy her?" the man had given her no indication that he might but there was a lot of time to waste.

He scowled. "I'm married."

"That was not my question" She argued, smiling innocently.

"I knew her when we were little." He finally replied.

So he was druid as well.

More awkward silence.

"Do you have kids?" Morgana asked again. She could tell that he was annoyed with her so she decided to continue doing that.

"Yes." He answered again.

"Shame." The lady commented, shaking her head.

The knight frowned at that. He glanced toward her. "Why?"

She shrugged. "If I wasn't exhausted I wouldn't have hesitated to snap your neck."

He'd ruined her plan, he must pay for it. But perhaps another day.

The remaining of the ride was silent was Morgana was thrilled for that.

The definition of a private place, according to Arthur, Merlin thought, was flawed.

As he followed his king to the place where he assumed the two of them could speak more freely and…well privately, Merlin came to the conclusion that he might need to set the king straight.

Once inside Merlin glanced at Arthur.

"How could this possibly be private?" The smell of reeking mead, hit him as he started to look for vacant table.

They were in the tavern.

Arthur laughed. "No one will be interested in eavesdropping on our conversation if they are too drunk."

"It is the middle of the day, Arthur. Nobody is drunk!" Merlin exclaimed, few heads turned in his direction.

"Everybody here is drunk." A voice called from behind. They both turned and came face to face with Gwaine.

Merlin and Arthur held both the same expression as they frowned at him.

"When did you come here?" Merlin asked.

"I never left." Gwaine all but yelled, soon he started to laugh. "Now come." He ushered them toward his table.

Merlin refrained from drinking. Not looking forward to repeating the events of the day when he'd offered Morgana a chance to kill him.

Instead he watched as Arthur and Gwaine enjoyed their drinks.

Gwaine soon fell asleep and only then did Arthur and Merlin finally got a chance to have their private conversation.

As Arthur had said earlier, he wanted to offer Merlin a piece of advice. About what exactly?

Merlin had absolutely no idea, until now.

Apparently, Arthur wanted to give Merlin a talk about how to handle women how happened to be expecting. The main subject was of course none than Morgana.

Between drinks, Arthur educated Merlin on how to ovoid certain situations.

He was after all speaking out of experience. Throughout the conversation , Merlin became obsessed with a single idea, well it was more of a interpretation of what Arthur had shared with him. Morgana might not be with a child.

What brought that shocking idea was the things Arthur mentioned how Gwen had experienced uncomfortable states during the last few months of her pregnancy and how those circumstances had affected the king firsthand.

Some of the discomfort Arthur had brought up were the backache, the constant need to urinate, the complains and the carvings and some much more.

Yet, not once, had he heard Morgana voice out her distress and uneasiness.

Not once, had she complained of lack of sleep because the child inside her prevented her from getting any rest due to their constant moving and kicking.

She did appear to be tired most of time but he simply believed that that was due to the extra weight she'd been carrying around.

She never woke him up in the middle of the night because she craved any type of food or drinks.

A lot of things didn't match what Arthur told him, so it was rather logical for Merlin to deduce such disturbing thought despite how ridiculous it was.

The conversation carried out smoothly, with Arthur speaking and sipping his mead, and Merlin listening, not bothering to interrupt, too absorbed by their chat.

Things turned rather radically and soon confusion became embarrassment when Gwaine joined their amicable exchange.

While Arthur mostly focused on the cons of being father-to-be, Gwaine had another thought in mind as he began to state its pros.

He actually concentrated on one single thing. Shagging.

And how lucky Merlin was because apparently women expecting develop an open…As mental image slowly began to creep in his mind.

Merlin swallowed hard. Glancing at his two companions, noticing the disturbing smug smirk Gwaine was flashing him and the dreamy look on Arthur's face as if he was recalling some good memories, Merlin wished he could just flee that place. At the end, he peeped around, spotting an abandoned goblet on the table behind the drunken knight, he used his magic and the cup flew and smashed against the back of Gwaine's head.

As a result the embarrassing chitchat was over.

Merlin and Arthur contempt whether they should take Gwaine back to his room or just leave him there.

After they took the knight back to his room, the king and his former servant parted.

Finally Merlin decided he should go seek Morgana, after he found her chamber empty.

He was descending the stairs when he spotted her in the middle of the square making her way toward him.

He opened his mouth to question her about her whereabouts, but she cut him off.

"I'm tired. Let's talk later." It was something in the way she talked that told him that she wasn't asking but actually informing him and that there was no room for discussion.

Shortly after her afternoon nap, Morgana left her chamber. Being careful not to be spotted by Merlin or Mordred, she made her way to Gaius' chamber.

The old physician glanced up at the sound of his door opening, observing as the lady Morgana entered.

"Morgana?" He frowned "Merlin said that you were tired and that you were to…"

Morgana licked her bottom lip "I was tired, but now I am quite alright"

"Very well, if you are looking for Merlin…"He paused as Morgana shook her head.

"Then why are you here? You seek something?" He asked, with concern.

"Yes." She said. She closed the door behind her, walking over to Gaius.

"I came to see if you were able to obtain the books I asked you for…"

"Ah! Yes. I was very fortunate to find them in such short notice. They weren't an easy thing to locate. Rare and very…"

Morgana chimed in, growing tired of his unproductive babbling. The sooner she got the books, the sooner she'd leave him to his devices.

She truly believed that his work or science as he claimed was a complete waste of time and space.

This man surrounded himself with herbs, books and different items that related to his passion and occupy; in the sole reason to heal and provide remedies for the sick ones. Yet most of the illnesses that he treated could easily be cured, once and for all, with a couple of easily preformed spells.

It irritated her to a great extent, that in spite the fact that he had magic, which had been a quite shock to Morgana that she had almost snapped that man's neck, Gaius remained loyal to the methods he'd used during the reign of both Uther and Arthur, even here after the restoration of magic back to Camelot, he continued to avoid the use of it.

"Yes. I'm well aware of their nature Gaius. And I required them specifically for that reason"

Gaius merely nodded his head. "They are in the other room; make yourself comfortable while I fetch them out for you."

Morgana politely declined the offer and instead she glanced around her. Her eyes flickering through the room, gazing at the numerous shelves filled with books and ingredients. Each of them produced a particular odor, that when all of them were mixed together, they emitted a smell that sickened her and had her yearning to run out of there. If only she could .She thought, sadly.

But maybe she was just overreacting and exaggerating a bit, the smell wasn't that powerful, maybe it was actually the chamber or even the whole damned castle that had feeling this way.

One thing for sure, she was fairly certain of that she didn't want to remain in that forsaken place, not another day. She was determinant to establish that no matter what.

Gaius reappeared from what used to be Merlin's room, holding many books between his hands.

Morgana observed him, not bothering to offer to help, as he disposed of them on the table nearby. He caught his breath afterwards.

Morgana ignored that and reached out her hand toward one of the books but she stopped midair when Gaius stepped between her and the table.

"May I ask why you need them?"

"No" she replied fiercely.

Gaius didn't seem like the type of men who'd take no for an answer.

"They contain powerful magic…dark magic." He insisted on the word dark.

Morgana titled her head to the side. "I am fairly aware of that Gaius. I …"

She was going to remind him of what she had said before he'd disappeared inside Merlin old chamber, that she asked for them due to that particular thing. But the old physician interrupted her.

"Then I'm sure, you would understand that I need to know why you asked me to seek them out for you." He stopped, letting his words sink in then added quietly. "I'm merely worried; if there is anything I can help you with ...you can tell me."

Worried. That was surprising.

"How thoughtful of you, Gaius." Morgana said, her tone laced with mockery.

"But you were not much of a help when I came to you after waking up, panting and terrified because of my nightmares."

"I made you sleeping droughts, to ease them." He reasoned, not liking her tone.

"The truth would have been more appreciated." She retorted, her voice started to rise. "I was no longer a child, you could have told me the truth instead of the lies and excuses to you continued to feed me night after night."

"And what did you suppose I should have told you?" Gaius said, strangely the old man stayed calm.

Was he bloody deaf?

"The truth," Morgana yelled, angry. The indifference Gaius was showing regarding her outburst served only to enrage her more.

"The truth?" He echoed, his eyebrow rising even higher. "How would you have reacted to it? Knowing that your nightmares are in reality visions….something related to magic." He clarified. He sought a chair and sat on it. His eyes, not once averting from her.

Morgana glared, her hands in fists.

"That would have been my own predicament to solve…"

"On the contrary dear…"Gaius shook his head. He was quite for few moments. "Perhaps it was long since it happened, but you cannot deny that you were not scared the first time you discovered you had magic."

Morgana swallowed the lump that formed in her throat.

If she were to be honest with herself, the word scared was understatement to describe how truly she had felt that night.

Terrified, petrified, horror-struck, scared stiff….she could go on and on.

Merlin, maybe had failed to ease her mind, but what he'd done afterwards, directing her toward to druids and keeping her secret, she was grateful for him. That feeling had lasted until he'd handed her the poisoned water.

"Alright." She breathed in, her eyes looked around until they came across a chair, far enough from Gaius. "I understand why you didn't tell me when I was young but when I was old enough, I had ever right to be told." Her voice quivered when she uttered the last words.

Gaius' lips switched, threatening a frown. "I was an old fool man, then."

"You're still old." Morgana remarked absently.

Gaius gave a small smile which Morgana knew was stale.

"Not all seers possess magic powers and I hoped you'd be one of them."

Anger started filling her and Morgana was about to protest but Gaius held out his hand, silencing her. He wanted her to let him finish speaking. Morgana slapped her mouth shut; she allowed him his unspoken wish.

"That was rather a poor excuse for not telling you." He paused.

Morgana kept her eyes on him. The emotions that washed over his features made him look, if possible, older.

Regret, that was what his eyes flashed with.

"When I first told Merlin about your abilities, that you might have magic…" That prompted her interest; she leaned forward in her chair.

"He wanted to go rushing in your chamber to tell you…" he said.

"You told him not to." Morgana reasoned it was obvious; Gaius refusing to look her in the eyes was dead giveaway.

He nodded. "We made…I made the mistake of believing kilgharrah."

"Believing kilgharrah?" She muttered under her breath, Gaius gave no indication that he heard her.

"That dragon helped with a lot of matters, was right about a lot of things…but when it came to you and Mordred he was wrong."

Now things became far more interesting. Mordred was somehow involved. And there was another dragon other than Aithusa…

"How wrong was he?" Morgana dared to ask. Not certain if she should wonder about it, in case the question could initiate some suspicion within the old physician.

"Very wrong, my dear." He chuckled. His laugh was bitter. "He thought that you and Mordred would form an alliance and together, you'd be the reason for Camelot's downfall, its bane." His amusement died almost instantly after he said that.

Her eyes widened. Her mouth was ajar. Gaius seemed oblivious to impact his words had on Morgana for he continued to speak.

"He told Merlin that Mordred was going to grow up to kill Arthur. Unbelievable, is it not?"

She didn't trust her voice, Morgana nodded firmly.

"How long…." Her throat was dry. "When Merlin did first hear about ….it?" she stuttered.

Gaius frowned as if attempted to recall the memory. His face broke into a grin that made her heart skip a beat with anticipation.

"When you two hid Mordred, in you chamber." Gaius answered his grin still intact.

Her blood ran cold. Morgana felt dizzy. Gaius words ringing inside her mind.

Was that why he poisoned her? Why he tried to kill her?

But if that was true then why did he tell Morgause the type of poison he'd used.

Or Mordred? If he'd known how things would turned out to be , why did he help him escape?

Why did Merlin let him live knowing what he'd do? Waiting until the inevitable happened for him to take some action seemed utterly puzzling to Morgana.

When she first heard that Emrys was her doom, she tried everything to find him, to kill him.

But sitting there, pondering Gaius' words, Morgana was overwhelmed with bewilderment.

As she continued that line of thinking, wondering, her mind recalling every encounter she'd had with Merlin or Emrys. He'd always let her go. Morgana grew more and more lightheaded. She held tight to the chair, her knuckles turned white.

Perhaps she better discuss this information with Merlin. He could either confirm or refute what she just learned.

"Morgana, are you alright?" She faintly heard Gaius ask. She needed to get a grip, take hold of herself. She took a couple of short breaths. Her eyes peered up toward Gaius' concerned face.

"I …water…need water…" she managed to say, her voice gruff and shaky.

Gaius quickly complied with her request. Morgana hold the goblet between her trembling hands, few drops fell on her dress. She didn't care.

She took a few slips, letting the cold liquid slid down her throat. It didn't expunge entirely the unsettling felling that gripped her heart but it alleviated it enough for her to stand without losing her balance.

"I must leave." She hurried toward the door, stumbling.

"Morgana?" Gaius called, and Morgana was half tempted to ignore him. She turned.

"Your books." He said, gesturing toward the table. Realizing that she almost left without them, she blinked. She'd momentary forgotten why she'd came there in the first place.

"Thank you." she blurred out and left.

She had wished to rest and Merlin had granted her wish and didn't disturb her for the rest of the day. It was almost nightfall when he decided to head back to her chamber. Not knowing if she was still asleep but he assumed he should check up on her, either way. It had been awhile since she had returned from her unsuccessful attempt at escaping Camelot.

A topic they needed to discuss urgently.

He didn't knock like he usually did before entering, this time he simply pushed the door open. He stood still by the threshold as his eyes landed on her.

She was awake. He mentally noted.

She was sitting by the table, it was covered by books. She looked up for a brief moment. Seeing who had just entered the room, she deadpanned and then she glanced down, resuming her reading.

Merlin frowned at that. He really didn't expect that from her. He thought that at the sight of him she would shout at him or throw him once more against the wall. A habit she'd became accustom to, he presumed.

Yet the silent treatment wasn't what he awaited from her. He closed the door with a little force, wishing that she might abandon her book and look at him properly.

Moments past, as he stood by the door, staring at her and waiting for her to once more acknowledge his presence.

But she didn't.

"Good evening, Morgana" He greeted. His voice was light, almost cheerful if it wasn't for the anger he started to feel.

He stepped further into the room. She still hadn't look up at him yet.

"Morgana…" He called out, softly and took another step forward. She still ignored him.

Merlin bit his bottom lip, he sighed then he asked.

"What are you doing?" A stupid question and he knew it. He almost rolled his eyes.

He leaned forward, trying to figure out what she was reading. His eyes roamed through the various books and parchments placed in front of her. They all were open, they appeared to be old.

Her head shut up suddenly, Merlin jerked back. Surprised by the sudden movement.

He placed a hand on his chest.

"You startled me." He commented, taking sharp breaths to calm himself.

She quirked an eyebrow, finding his action annoying.

Her lips were pressed into a thin line before she added.

"Pardon me, Merlin." She snorted, shaking her head "I believe it is rather obvious what I am doing." She told him and looked back down.

"You're still mad." Nodding his head, he stated and backed away from her and sat on a chair across from her. He crossed his arms and leaned fully back.

"No" she replied coolly. "Why would you assume such matter?" She told him, her voice thick with sarcasm and it irritated him.

Morgana fixed him with a look, her eyes flashing with disgust.

He had enough of her provoking behavior.

She wasn't the only one who was angry with what had taken place that morning. She'd thrown him against a wall because he'd told the truth.

He too had the right the express his anger, but at least he had the decency to do so in proper manner.

Swiftly, he reached out his hand, snatching the book from under hers.

"Can we speak about what happened?" Merlin asked politely.

Morgana glared at him. They both stood up, moving away from the table. Cautiously, they observed each other. As if they both expected the possibility of yet another fight…which by Morgana's expression, Merlin considered ,it was best to determine a quick, yet harmless approach that might not cause any potential injury or pain toward the child.

Although, Morgana had another thought in mind she tried to regain the book from Merlin. Unfortunately for her, due to her current state, she was slow so it gave Merlin the time to move out of her reach.

Merlin smirked and Morgana growled, rolling her eyes. She was half tempted to redo what had accrued that morning, yet she thought otherwise.

Merlin appeared to be prepared to whatever she might threw his way.

"I only want to speak…."He trailed off, she shook her head.

"And I am trying to find a solution to our delicate predicament. So what happen today will not take place again."

He squinted in confusion. There were many predicaments that they'd been facing; he didn't know which one she meant.

"What predicament?"

"This." She snapped. Her hands were gesturing to her surroundings.

His frown only deepened and Morgana huffed and threw her hands up in the air -a sign of her frustration and irritation at his inability to understand what she was referring to.

"I am going to undo whatever brought us here…" she sighed "I need to find a spell or…" she hands rambled through the various books, emphasizing her meaning.

Merlin stared at her, wide-eyed and lips apart.

Was she really saying what he had just heard her say?

Morgana took his state of bewilderment as her chance, she walked to him, and her hand reached out and got a hold of the book.

It was weak attempt since Merlin had an iron-grip on it and no matter how many times Morgana pulled, she couldn't free it.

The whole situation began to anger her.

"Why?" If she wasn't standing this close to him she was certain that she would not have heard him. His voice was a whisper, barely audible.

"Why not?" she retorted, his grip loosened and Morgana grabbed the book and returned to the table.

His mouth opened and closed twice and he blinked.

"You died Morgana. You are dead" He stated, once he regained his voice back "why would you wish to come back to that?"

He ran a hand through his hair. She was dead; she didn't have anything to go back to.

At the mention of her death, Morgana flinched slightly and it didn't go unnoticed by Merlin. She cleared her throat. Her eyes were downward. Her head rose slowly.

"So is Arthur." Her voice was low yet cold.

It was his turn to flinch. He had to look away from her and swallow the lump in his throat.

"I know it is something very odd, this whole situation." He began, hesitantly. "You and I married and …."

Morgana didn't let him finish, she cut him off.

"This is not about that…" Morgana refuted, scowling. Merlin raised an eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes. "Alright, fine. However, it is only a part of the problem. You are oblivious to the real matter here."

"Which is?" He inquired, promoting her to explain more.

The highest priestess took a deep breath. Words appeared unable to properly explain what she was speaking off. So she sought another approach.

Morgana stood up, she gave him a glance before she turned around, heading toward the bed. Merlin assumed that she decided not reply to his question. He continued to watch her wordlessly, waiting for her to say something. She sat on the edge of the bed, it wouldn't be all that weird, except she was staring at him like he had sprouted a second head.

Was she ignoring him again? He really started to get bored of that.

"What?" She motioned for him to come closer, and he did so. Taking his hands in hers, Morgana placed them on her bulge of a stomach and let them rest. Nothing happened, though. His mind recalled the conversation he'd had with Arthur and Gwaine earlier that morning. His throat became dry. He refused to meet her eyes. Slightly panicked, even afraid of what he might see in them.

That would never happen.

Was that what she meant when she'd said that being married was only part of the problem?

Was she having- how did Gwaine phrase it – sudden desires and urges.

He didn't know how he should be feeling.

"Morgana…" he said softly…He started moving his hands off her, but fingers grasped his and pull them back down to her stomach once more. That was very weird, scary even.

And then he felt it.

"Oh my…!" Merlin exclaimed and he felt her fingers curl tighter around his. "That was…I mean…"

Morgana nodded, blinking twice.

"It's kicking." Merlin laughed, an eerie feelings washed over him.

Relief washed over him. The corners of his lips curved upward.

How awkward and odd would it have been if Morgana truly wanted….He shook his head, pushing that uncomfortable thought to the back of his mind?

"How long have that been happening?"

"Since the first day." she replied honestly. "But I brushed it off at the time…I had a lot on my mind back then."

Merlin breathed out a laugh. She was right.

"Do you understand what I mean now?" Morgana asked, her features had softened and there was a hint of hope in her tone.

With both of his hands still resting on her stomach, his eyes flickered up.

Sheepishly, he shook his head. "No." He muttered.

Morgana's eyes doubled in size, both eyebrows shot up, almost reaching the hairline.

"Merlin…"she snarled, her eyes regarding him with infuriation.

Trying to feeling the child kick again, Merlin started to poke her side, gently. He was too occupied that he failed to catch on her calling his name.

"Alright, stop that." Morgana slapped his hands away. Merlin looked up, sad and with a pout on his face.

"Why did…" His protest was cut off instantaneously.

"Merlin, you are an idiot." She commented, emphasizing the word idiot.

He should have been offended by her insult. Nonetheless he wasn't. After hearing Arthur calling him as such over the years, Merlin truly believed that he had become immune to it. So he continued to stare at her dumbly. She glared menacingly at him and Merlin let a nervous smile grace his features.

"I am with child" she hissed…breathing in a deep breath to calm her soon to be raging feelings.

His eyes were still fixed on hers, gazing at her with utter confusion. She was stating the obvious…

It wasn't like her swollen belly could be overlooked, even if he wanted to.

"Bloody hell" Morgana snapped and grabbed his hand again and put it on her abdomen.

"In less than three months…"she trailed off, her voice caught up in her throat, leaving her speechless.

She clasped a hand over her mouth, she closed her eyes.

She soon recovered from her brief and bizarre moment.

"Please tell me you understand what I'm trying to tell you….please" she all but pleaded. Which was rather odd, Merlin thought.

He forgot the last time Morgana was this desperate. She was almost hurt. Yet again, he shoved those thoughts away, because just like the time before, the child kicked and Merlin grinned like a fool.

"He is kicking." He didn't ask her about the pronoun, but just turned his attention back to the stomach and the fact there's a living, kicking child in there.

With that thought in mind, he froze.

Less than three months that was she'd said….a living child….his child…his and Morgana's child.

"Oh!" He breathed out; his eyes flickered up, locking gaze with hers. It finally sank in what she had been trying to tell him. The realization hit hard, almost like slap to the face.

He had been so absorbed by the fact that Arthur was alive, that Albion was real. He had been caught up by everything that had been happening for the past week that he somehow, overlooked something highly and crucially important. Something that been staring at him in the face, from the very moment he had gotten there.

He looked up, closing his eyes briefly and then he glanced down.

Realizing where his hand was, Merlin pulled it quickly.

"What are we going to do?" he asked his voice gruff.

"I honestly do not know Merlin." Morgana confessed, tensing.

He felt hot all of the sudden, he felt like he was suffocating. And this time it was not Morgana's doing.

"I need some air." He blurred out and jumped to his feet. He only took one step forward when he felt Morgana placed her hand on his forearm. He turned to face her.

"You are not leaving to any other place until we come to dissolve this matter." She paused "Together" she added.

He should have said no. Should have left, to get some time to think this whole thing through and perhaps find a solution but he took a look at her eyes, they were pleading with him to stay.

So, he reluctantly, sat back on the mattress next her.

Nodding his head, he said. "Alright"

Morgana offered an honest and a genuine smile which Merlin instantly returned and regarded as she stood up.

"We shall divide these books; try to see if there is any similar situation such ours…"

"What?" Merlin yelled and stood up too. "You still wish to go leave this place?"

Morgana furrowed her brow "yes .That is the idea."

Surprised, Merlin gaped at her, he blinked twice.

"When you said we will try to solve the situation, I presumed that we were going to discus well" …he trailed off, gesturing to her swollen stomach "you know"

Morgana snickered, shaking her head slowly.

"There is nothing in those books that is capable on ending this pregnancy. Moreover ending it when I am this far along is rather dangerous and risky."

He wasn't sure if he should be relieved that she wasn't planning on losing the child or shocked that her knowledge and awareness of possible risks were only a clear indication that she had obviously considered that idea.

Seeing the doubtful yet horrified look she was receiving from Merlin, Morgana took in a deep breath.

"I fear that we have misunderstood each other."

"We have?" Merlin asked, carefully.

Morgana only nodded, she closed her eyes, glancing at the ceiling before she met his eyes.

"Dinner would be served shortly. I'm famished."

Gaping at her, he watched as she quietly left the room.


	7. Chapter 7

Once in the dining room, Merlin sat across from Morgana at the table. Gaius along with Mordred and of course the king and queen joined them shortly they arrived there.

The dinner started with greeting from the late comers. Morgana ignored everyone including Mordred.

She was in no mood to be cheerful or to act happy.

The tension between Merlin and Morgana was obvious since neither of them bothered to hide it.

Glares were exchanges between these two and the whole room was drawn in awkward silence because of them. The rest sent some worried glanced in their direction. Yet none of them wanted to voice their bewilderment toward the odd behavior and eventually end it.

The silence was only broken when the prince's governess came into the room asking for the queen. Gwen left with the woman and the quiet once again returned.

"Is everything right?" Of course Arthur was the first one who decided to put an end to the uncomfortable situation.

"No"

"Yes"

Both Merlin and Morgana replied respectively at the same time, causing Arthur to arch an eyebrow.

Morgana gritted her teeth, glowering at Merlin who responded by rolling his eyes and huffing.

Arthur appeared to be hesitant to whether he should be amused or worried by their different answers.

He nodded his head, taking a sip from his drink.

"What's happened?" He once again asked, casually, his ton calm.

"Nothing" they replied together.

The other eyebrow followed up. "I see." Another sip. Arthur placed his goblet back on the table. He looked at Mordred then at Gaius.

"What's matter with them?" Gaius simply shook his head and shrugged. However, Mordred looked between his parents, and then his eyes were back on Arthur.

"Freya came for her monthly supplies; the three of them crossed paths."

"Oh!" His lips formed an 'o', then his eyes traveled between the warlock and his wife. He looked back at Mordred when those two didn't appear to be willing to elaborate on that matter.

"Is she alright? No harm was done to her?" The king inquired, his eyes concerned, but were fixed on Morgana, as if he trying to get a reaction from her. The latter was deadpanned; her face was cleared of any emotion.

Mordred quickly shook his head. "Do not worry. She left before…"He paused. "She ran the opposite direction when she saw Mother."

The knight and the king chuckled at that, Gaius smiled. Morgana shot Merlin a confused look which he instantly returned.

"That's good…excellent." Arthur breathed in relief. He gestured to the servant behind him and his goblet was instantly refilled.

"Why would you say that?" Merlin asked, his brow frowned, reflecting his perplexity.

Arthur shrugged "At least she's alive." The king sighed, his lips still curved in a smile.

The warlock's frown deepened. "Why wouldn't she be alive?"

What could possibly happen that might do Freya any harm. What did Morgana have to do with that?

The same questions were running through the witch's mind.

Arthur swallowed his drink before he responded, nonchalantly.

"Because last time she was here, Morgana almost killed Freya…"

Merlin gasped, he quickly glanced at the woman in question.

But Morgana snorted "I almost killed her today." She whispered under her breath and luckily no one heard her.

Arthur didn't notice their reaction and he continued to speak.

"….You remember, when Morgana accused you of being unfaithful to her with Freya."

Arthur gestured toward the highest priestess. "…and I so foolishly believed her."

"Believed her?" The warlock echoed, astonished. He tightened his hold on the spoon in his grasp. His knuckles turned white.

Unfaithful? Him? With Freya?

"But it wasn't true. Dear sister was feeling a bit protective of you. It's quite normal; they say women with child often get self-conscious. Even Gwen had her own moments. She thought I was cheating on her with her maidservant. At least she didn't try to kill her like Morgana. "

"You believed her?" Merlin repeated again, his voice louder, accusing.

"What?" Arthur widened his eyes. "Can you blame me…everybody knew about your reputation, but I know how faithful you are to Morgana, you could never do something like that to her."

"What reputation?" Merlin wondered.

"As the ladies man." Mordred chimed in. Four pairs of eyes were on him. His cheeks reddened at his sudden outburst. He looked down.

"WHAT?" The warlock shouted, his lips parted in astonishment.

Morgana burst out laughing. "Merlin! You must be joking."

Merlin gritted his teeth, his cheeks reddened in anger.

"That cannot be true…"he protested, standing up abruptly causing his chair to fall backward.

"Gwaine must have had quite the impression on Merlin…"Morgana teased, wiggling her eyebrows at Merlin. The later glared at her. He glanced at Arthur who said.

"No…that started way before Gwaine came to Camelot. He was actually rather jealous of Merlin."

"No…"Merlin shook his head frantically. "I am not that kind of man."

"I am married to a ladies' man." Morgana simply couldn't resist saying that again and the look of pure anger and disbelieve on Merlin's face made want to say it again and again just to pester and torment him.

"Alright, stop saying that…" Merlin warned, the rest looked at him with worry.

Morgana rolled her eyes. "What do you rather I call you then philanderer, miscreant or fornicator?" she smiled sweetly at him, resting her head on her hand.

His jaw dropped.

"That was a bit harsh, don't you think Morgana."

She shook her head, her eyes still on Merlin. "No. I don't believe so. It is the truth after all, is it not?"

"It is. I remember the night you escaped from your cell, all the knights were searching for and what Merlin was…with a woman and poor Gaius here tried to cover for him." Arthur said, grinning.

Merlin, quickly, gazed at the old physician. "That's not true, right?"

Arthur scowled. "No need to deny it Merlin, I've seen you with my own eyes…"

"Well, it's not." Gaius interrupted the king, answering Merlin's question.

Merlin almost jumped in happiness. Morgana pouted.

"Gaius!" Arthur exclaimed. "You don't have to defend him, I was there, and you were there."

The old man leaned forward. "You didn't exactly see the face of the woman did you?"

Arthur scowled, "No, but I know what I heard…"

"Well that was the lady Morgana."

The woman almost started coughing hysterically; she reached for her napkin, covering her mouth.

Merlin was walking the corridor after dinner when Mordred appeared next to him.

"I forgot to tell you, on my way back, I went to see grandparents. They say that they might come to Camelot before the birth of the child."

Laying on his back, Merlin stared at the ceiling above him, even though he could see absolutely nothing but darkness…

He couldn't sleep…not that he didn't want to, because he did, badly. His body ached, it was tired. Yet his mind refused to grant him the rest he wished for.

Anyone would be in the same state, Merlin thought, if they'd been up half of the night so far, trying not to think about what had transpired that day.

But too much had occurred during the day and he wasn't really sure what exactly had him that way.

It was either the fact that Freya and Mordred were alive or that he'd been raising the druid boy as his child. Or perhaps it was due to the talk he'd had with Morgana after she'd returned to Camelot and her wish to return to their dreaded reality. yet perhaps it was the news that his father was alive that had chased sleep away.

However, there was the possibility that all of those things combined together were the reason, he wasn't able to sleep.

Once he realized he couldn't stop thinking about that. He panicked, coming to the conclusion that his life at the moment wasn't that easy. That it wasn't the way he'd imagined being once he realized what had happened, where he was. The second chance he'd been offered.

There were too many issues and problems to solve. Too many secrets to disclose and he wasn't even near to accomplish any of that.

How come his father was alive? That was the most important question and he had no idea how to answer it.

Subsequent to his little conversation with Mordred after dinner, he'd read…well reread some of the history books. He didn't know how he'd originally missed it but kilgharrah had never attacked Camelot.

So he and Arthur had no reason to go search for him. But if that was the case, then how did he find his father? Why did Mordred say that he'd gone to visit his grandparents, as in more than one? Did that mean that his father and mother were living together?

He then realized that this line of thinking was causing him to think about his father. Thinking about his father made him think about thinking about him. He was overanalyzing everything; he groaned and covered his face with his hands.

Sleep, that all he wanted at that moment….Perhaps he could go ask Gaius to make him one of those sleeping droughts...it seemed to be the only way for him to get what he needed.

But if he did that, there was a chance that he would have to wake the old physician. Yet Merlin was in desperate need to fall asleep.

He was contemplating that thought when his attention was disturbed abruptly as a sound of thrashing and whimpering reached his ears. The sound was coming from the direction of Morgana's bed.

Merlin had been laying on the floor since their sleeping arrangement had been established, his cot was behind the screen the same place he and Morgana had hidden Mordred while they'd treated his injuries.

He pushed the screen a bit, enough for him to get a look at her bed. He whispered a spell under his breath, adjusting his eyes to the dimness that enveloped the room.

He was right and it appeared that Morgana was having yet another one of her nightmares.

He sighed, considering whether he should go over to her and wake her up or he should just leave her alone.

Since the last time she'd had a nightmare and after he'd tried to comfort her, she had shoved him away, telling him to keep away from her, because after years of having them, she'd grew accustomed to her bad dreams. So, she definitely did not need him to soothe or calm her down, she certainly didn't want him to pity or commiserate with her.

With that in mind, he curled on his right side so he was facing the wall.

"Aithusa?" That came from Morgana. A cry out.

After that, they both sat up straight. Morgana jolted out of her reverie and Merlin was confused by what'd heard. Light filled the room; neither Merlin nor Morgana was sure who was responsible for it.

The warlock slowly stood up and made his way to her. She was yet to control her breathing. She was still panting.

Once he was closer to her bed, he stopped, his hands, behind his back.

"Are you alright?"

"I believe we have already agreed on this Merlin? Go back to sleep." She ordered a while after her breathing started to slow down, with a hand placed on her chest.

If he wasn't curious about why Morgana was calling out his dragon's name, or that he was a bit worried about her, the warlock wouldn't have bothered to drag his tired body there. He was trying to be nice; the least she could do was be appreciative.

But no, not Morgana.

He inhaled deeply and exhaling slowly, he was about to utter his question when Morgana sat on the edge of the bed, her feet already on the floor.

With a hand on her lower belly, the other on the mattress, Morgana tried to push herself up. Merlin could see how hard that was for her. He rushed to her side, his hand wrapped around her waist and the other reached out and grabbed hers.

"What are you doing?" Morgana yelled and glared at him. "Let go off me, Merlin." She yanked her arm out off his reach and slapped away the hand that was around her.

Merlin scowled. "Why did you do that?" His rubbed the place where she'd hit him.

Morgana huffed and shook her head. At last, she managed to stand up on her own, Merlin regarded her with hesitation.

"What were you trying to do, Merlin?" she adjusted her nightgown. She stood face to face with Merlin.

He let his eyes lock gaze with hers, "I just wanted to help you."

"I did not ask you to help me." She spoke with a hush yet cold tone.

"Yet you looked like you needed it." He countered, crossing his hands over his chest.

The two of them were staring at each other. His eyes on hers. Neither of them said a word, moved or even blinked.

Merlin was the first to look away from her piercing gaze.

"I just wanted to be nice." He explained, taking a step backward.

She snorted and replicated his move. "Nice? I doubt that of you, Merlin."

He arched an eyebrow. "Why?" He sounded genuinely hurt by her statement.

"Because you haven't been nice to me for the past four years."

She smirked, seeing that Merlin's expression fell. She turned around, resuming her way toward the door.

The warlock recovered fast and he followed her, standing between her and the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked. Morgana scoffed.

"I thought that since I'm awake and it is completely dark outside so most of the knights are most luckily have fallen asleep, why don't I make the best of that and just go and kill Arthur." She replied casually, the corner of her lips curved up.

His nostrils flaring, his eyes flashing and closing into slits. His hands closed into fists and he crouched forward, daring her to repeat once more what she'd just said. That only made her smile turn into a smirk.

"What?" Merlin hissed, doing his best not to shout at her.

Still she appeared unaffected by that which enraged him more.

"I have been trying to kill Arthur for how long?" She asked but she had no intention to let Merlin answer "Four…five years…do you really think it is clever of me to go and notify the only man that have been able to sabotage and interfere with my plans that I'm about to kill his precious king?" she said in one breath.

Merlin gulped. He studied her expression and then he breathed out in relief. It was hard to tell if she was being serious or just witty. But her statement cleared things for him.

"You're joshing." He let a smile grace his features, suppressing a laugh.

Morgana rolled her eyes, "Can you move now, Merlin?"

Realizing that he was still blocking Morgana's way, Merlin once again asked.

"Where are you going?"

"Do you really need to know?" Morgana always answered him with yet another question.

"Yes." Merlin said quickly, certain.

"Fine." Merlin's features relaxed a little as he waited for her speak.

"I thought that maybe you wanted the chamber for one of your midnight trysts." She moved closer to him, "you are man; after all…"their faces mere inches away. Merlin swallowed hard at their dangerous proximity. Morgana rested her hand on his chest.

Feeling the blood rush to his cheeks, Merlin tried to take her hand away but his hand was shaking and sweating.

"….you have needs to be fulfilled." Her eyes traveled downward, he knew where they were gazing at exactly. He tried to back away, but he was already pressed against the door.

"Anyway…" she took a step back. "…just stay away from my bed."

It was her eyes that gave her away, the glee in them that exposed her. He felt like he should be angry for what she just did, but surprisingly he wasn't.

"Ha Ha. Very funny, Morgana."

She shrugged. "Well I find it quite amusing. You should have seen the look on your face, Merlin. It was…"

He cut her off. "…I know it was funny."

"That's an understatement." she bit her bottom lip. "Can I go know?"

"You're still haven't told me where you are going?"

"It's the middle of the night, where do you think I'm going?"

"I don't know." He said.

"To the privy. "She finally gave him the correct answer and Merlin surprised her with what he said next.

"Why?"

She gapped at him. "For the same reason you go to there, Merlin."

Merlin Laughed sheepishly. "Oh! It's rather obvious, is it not?"

"I'm going to ask you for the last time, could you move so I can go?"

"You can go. I'm sorry." He moved out of her away.

Morgana opened the door a bit when Merlin grabbed her hand.

"What now, Merlin?" she growled, she opened the door further, however Merlin slammed it shut.

"Just stay here. I can prove I can still be nice to you." He said, grinning.

"Could it not wait? It's kind of an urgent matter." She crossed her hands over her chest, looking at him with annoyance written all over her face.

"No, it can't. Just wait I have it…"he looked down at his trousers.

"It's in my other trouser. Just wait here, don't go anywhere."

He ran back to his cot, locating his pants, his started to search its pockets, until he found what'd been looking for.

"Found it." He announced, emerging from behind the screen, the object in his hand.

But the room was empty, Morgana had already left it. He sighed, his shoulders slumped.

Morgana returned moments later, to find Merlin sitting on the edge of her bed.

He jumped to his feet the instant she entered the chamber.

"Why did you go? I told you to wait" he asked with a pout on his face. Morgana shut the door.

She licked her bottom lip, and then puffed in irritation. "Well I already informed you that it was urgent."

He took a deep breath. "I know." He held out his right hand, a piece of paper in it.

She didn't take it, she just eyed it carefully, that she just walked pass him.

"Is that your apology letter, Merlin? It's rather belated."

Merlin frowned. "I have nothing to apologize for."

The witch felt the air sucked out of her. As she gawped at him. She blinked couple of times, feeling the anger filling her.

Merlin seemed oblivious to the affect his utterance had on her. He continued to talk.

"It's a spell. It's for whenever you want to go the privy. To empty your bladder, so you don't have to get up …." She cut him off.

"It is late, and I'm quite tired." Her voice fluttered and Merlin's smile faded it away.

"Are you not going to take it? "Morgana snatched the paper from his hand and went to her bed.

She noticed that Merlin hadn't moved from his position. He was gawking at her.

"What?" she titled her head.

He shrugged. "'A thank you' would be nice." He told her, derisively. "This spell wasn't that easy to come across, I had to make sure it will do no harm to the child."

He was really getting on her nerves.

"A thank you? For this?" She waved the paper at him, exasperatingly.

"If this is your idea of being nice, then I'm afraid to tell you that it will not work." She almost tore that paper at threw the pieces at his face. Instead she took a deep breath in, trying to compose herself.

"Why is that?"

Morgana gave him a false smile. "I let you dwell on it. Perhaps you could discover the reason why."

She lay on her bed; Merlin made his way to his cot, but his stopped halfway and turned to her.

"I'm a dragon lord." He blurred out.

Form her position on the matters Morgana sat, her back pressed again the headboard.

"I know." She said, softly, feeling a little grateful for him to share that information.

"I…"he hesitated "…There are only two dragons left alive."

"Aithusa and kilgharrah." She whispered and Merlin didn't ask how she knew that.

He nodded his head. "I tried to summon them, but I couldn't."

Her heart skipped a bit, her eyes widening. "They are not dead, are they?" She asked urgently.

"No, they are not." He shook his head, reassuring her. "That's what I feared first."

Morgana breathed in relief. A smile formed.

"My father lives." Merlin added, his voice quivering. Morgana remain silent, letting him elaborate. He slowly walked to the side of her bed and sat next to her. Morgana didn't protest.

"After Morgause took you, I discovered that he was alive…but he died shortly after I found him…"he laughed bitterly "…he was killed the day after I found, actually. I never got a chance to know him." he confessed.

His eyes glistered with tears, if she was still mad at him for what'd said earlier, her anger melted away with pained look he was giving her at that moment.

"Why are you telling me this Merlin?" She asked gently.

He shrugged, his head down. "You know how it feels to lose a father."

"I did not mourn Uther's death" she told him sternly.

"I'm aware of that. I wasn't referring to Uther. I mean Goloris." He sniffed, wiping his tears.

There was a moment of heavy silence that followed.

"I'm glad you're telling me this Merlin, but"…she paused. "Gwen lost her father; Arthur suffered after Uther's death. Why did you not speak with them about your feelings of losing your father?"

He let out a forlorn sigh, and rubbed the back of his neck. He didn't say anything.

Morgana narrowed her eyes, his silence made her realize something.

"They don't know, you never told them."She reasoned, her voice laced with disbelieve.

"I couldn't. You and Gaius are the only one I told." He looked up to see Morgana watching him with sadness in her eyes.

"Then go to him…you have a chance to know him this time." She encouraged him. "It's an opportunity you may never get again. Trust me."She added. She placed her hand on top of his and gave it a little squeeze.

"You're still planning on going back are you?" He couldn't hide his disappointment when she nodded affirmatively.

"I just don't think I can spend another day in this castle."

"You were trying to rule Camelot Morgana; you were going have to live here." He argued.

"Everything happened so suddenly…All I need is some time to think…clearly."

"Then come with me…"he suggested, his eyes brightening up.

"Why, Merlin?" she attempted to pull her hand away but Merlin grabbed it fast.

"For many reasons…"

"Name them."

"Well…um, first, it'll be a change of scenery for you, so you could think clearly like you want. Second…"he grinned mischievously. "…It'll delay your search for the spell so our stay here extend."

She snorted "I could always take the books with me." He rolled his eyes.

"Finally…you can be my mortal support. Because frankly I don't think I could do it alone." He swallowed the lump in his throat.

She pressed her lips together; she inhaled and rubbed her temple.

"I'll think about it."

"Thank you." A tear slipped down his face, he didn't bother to wipe it.

"I didn't agree yet, Merlin." But he squeezed her hand. And repeated "thank you...For listening"

She pulled her hand away, as if his skin burned her. When he glanced up, he was surprised to see tears in her red eyes, she as trying to suppress her tears.

"Go back to sleep before I do something to harm you." She whispered her voice shaky. She didn't give him a chance to ask why she was crying.

"Why would you want to harm me?" He furrowed his brow, titling his head.

"You just told me that you have been granted a chance to reunite with your father and that makes you happy…." She paused. "I don't want you to be happy." She wiped away her tears, sniffing.

The darkness was back and once again Merlin found himself laying waiting for sleep to come. The last words Morgana had told him were harsh and it pained him to hear them.

But the small talk they shared prior to that confession was kind and it made him remember the old Morgana the one before he poisoned her. So perhaps deep down she was still there. Maybe there was still a chance for him to set her free.

That thought made him smile, even though he didn't get much sleep that day, thinking about that Morgana warmed his heart.


	8. Chapter 8

The child kicked her in her left side. At first, she thought the carriage had merely hit a large rut and jarred her body. Morgana snuggled back into the corner and tried to return to her slumber. Before she could settle in again, he kicked again and Morgana groaned at the discomfort.

Her eyes fluttered open and she, tiredly, raised her right hand, rubbing them. She glanced down, noticing the opened book on her lap. She must have fallen asleep while reading it. Sniffing, Morgana closed and put it aside, placing it on the bench, beside her.  
She moved the blanket aside and looked down at her swollen stomach, staring down at it; she still couldn't believe that she was truly with child. She closed her eyes briefly, knowing fully that she would not be able to fall asleep any time soon. Once the child inside began kicking and moving, all types of sleep and comfort would abandon her, leaving her with nothing but restlessness and back pain. Something that she was still trying hard to adjust to.

Her son-Morgana wasn't completely certain if she should believe the tale Gwen had informed her of, about the seer and her vision- pressed one of his limbs against her insides, she winced. Her hands smoothed across the baby.

Morgana was conflicted as what she preferably referred to the small human-being inside her. Should she call it; the child or just her child? She liked the former. It made her feel less attached to it.

But if she were to be honest with herself, discomfort and uneasiness were not the only feelings that would stir within her, every time the baby moved. She shook her head. But she wasn't going to admit the truth and she definitely wasn't going to let herself indulge in such absurd matter as the feeling of utter admiration for the fact she was carrying a child. Merely because it was his.

She rubbed lazy circles against her abdomen, wishing that the child would cease his movements, if she were lucky enough, she might return to her sleep.

Her hands stopped their slow motion, placing them at her sides. She sighed. Suddenly she was overcome with yet another feeling; she grunted and pulled the blanked away from her. It fell down by her feet.  
The shades covering the window made it dark inside the buggy, perfect for napping; she pulled them back so she could look outside for Merlin. She needed to get the drivers attention.  
The sight line out the small pane of glass was limited and she couldn't find him. He must be scouting ahead or talking to the driver. Morgana struggled to stand up in the moving vehicle. Her belly made it difficult and the rocking motion from the carriage springs made covering the small distance to the other seat seem impossible. She braced herself on the roof with her hand as she pushed the back of the seat with the other easing her way up. She couldn't fully stand in the buggy so she hunched over. She was able to get to her feet just as the horse trotted them over another large rut in the road.  
Luckily as she was falling she was able to twist herself so she landed on the soft bench, exactly where she was trying to be. She struggled to a sitting position and then knocked on the roof by the man handling the reins.  
"Where is Merlin?" She managed to shout at him over the noise of the road and squeaks of the buggy. She was feeling tired already from only that small effort to change seats.  
Her thoughts were jostled as she felt the carriage easing to a halt. The door was flung open and Merlin's face appeared. He looked annoyed.  
"We still haven't arrived yet Morgana" He somehow thought that he had anticipated her question and Morgana pressed her lips into a thin line. Merlin just stood there waiting for her to say anything.

"Bring me apples." She told him, it was more like an order; the way she talked made him like he was just another servant from Camelot all over again. He didn't like that one bit.

Since the beginning of their dreadful journey, Morgana had been acting a bit different from her usual self, she became rather ornerier.

He stared at her. "You want an apple?" He quirked an eyebrow at her. She stopped the carriage for that?

"Apples" she told him, emphasizing the's' "I'm hungry." Coolly, she added, her calm tune irritating him more.

"And you assume that an apple is able to ease your hunger?" He leaned against the small door.

She shook her head. "Well it might not, but it will certainly ease my craving for said fruits."

Craving? Since when did Morgana crave anything but power and the throne of Camelot?

Considering that apples were easy things to provide to his 'expectant wife', Merlin was thankful for that and was more than happy to comply.

"Are you simply going to stand there or shall I fetch them myself?" with that he regained his attention, he looked over at her, Morgana was glaring at him.

Merlin grumbled and disappeared for few moments and when he reappeared, he held out his hand to her. A small bowl, filled with her lasted craving, and Morgana accepted it with a big smile.

"Do you want us to stop again?" He ignored her lack of gratitude, he straightened his shoulders.

She sighed "No need to be grumpy, Merlin. We have been traveling for two days now; we should have arrived there by now."

Merlin's lips curved into a fake smile as he gazed directly at her. "That would have been true if we didn't have to stop every now and then because of you, besides we are traveling at slow pace." He shot back. Morgana was well aware of that; it had been after all Gaius' order and primary concern when they had told the court physician about their upcoming trip.

Morgana narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you really putting the blame on me?" she spoke with a low and intent tone. "…because if I recall correctly, you were the one who begged me to accompany you."

"Begged you?" Almost offended, Merlin uncrossed his arms. "That is not true. I did not beg you." He insisted with a stern voice, recoiling.

She snorted, and he responded by gritting his teeth. Merlin still remembered everything that had transpired that night and the day after, no pleading or begging had taken place. Although, he did ask for her company but that was it, nothing more.

"Believe me Merlin you did, you pleaded with me until I agreed." He expected her to flash him one of her smirks, a way he assumed that Morgana thought, was effective to annoy him. But much to his surprise, she didn't.

Not wanting to get in yet another argument with her, Merlin let her remark slide without a comment from him.

He sighed. "Is that all? You don't require anything else?" He sounded tired. Perhaps, anticipation and what awaited them once they arrived were having their toll on him.

She chose not to voice her assumption and instead she remained silent. Morgana simply reached out and raised her hand to her mouth, taking a bite from an apple. He watched her closed her eyes as her teeth sank into the fruit. A sound resembled a moan escaped her lips, and made Merlin's eyes widen slightly .He then climbed into the buggy. The quaking that was caused made her snap out of her delight state and she fixed her eyes on at him. Morgana's forehead wrinkled.

She mumbled something that Merlin wasn't able to understand due the food that her mouth was stuffed with as she spoke.

He stopped his movement, he was still hunched over. "What did you say?" He inquired with a smile.

He gave her a look that said -Where are your manners now lady Morgana? But he thought better than to do so. However, he knew for sure that she asked herself the same question just after she had realized her omission.

She began to chew quickly. Once she finally swallowed, Morgana asked, heat rose to her cheeks, either she was embarrassed for her ill-behavior or she was annoyed by his smug smirk. "I said what you were doing?"

He heaved a sigh at her ludicrous question .He sat on the bench across from her. "I'm exhausted. I need to sleep."

His legs stretched on the bench and he leaned his head near the small window, on the side.

Before he closed his eyes, Merlin hit the interior of buggy, the sound of his hand colliding with wood made Morgana cringe.

Apparently Merlin's action was a signal to the driver outside and as a result their trip was resumed.

At last, the warlock was able to relax; he folded his arms in his lap.

"Hand me that book will you, Merlin?" the latter opened an eye, looking toward her and she gestured to a book placed next to him. He followed her direction and saw the book was under his feet.

"Sorry." He murmured under his breath as he handed it to her.

Heavy and unbearable silence filled the small space between Merlin and Morgana, moments later. Nevertheless, they both welcomed and appreciated it. The only sound cutting through it was the sign of Morgana's consumption of apples.

"Most of the times, you make me regret ever telling you about my father, Morgana." Merlin blurred out suddenly. His voice was soft as he spoke.

So far, Morgana had managed to twist ever single word he had told her and used it to her own vantage. He hopped he'd no longer make the same mistake. And the best way to do that was to refrain from sharing anything with her.

She peered up from her book. Surprised by his unexpected utterance, Morgana's lips parted. She stared at him for a while before her eyes settled on the book on her lap once again. She turned the page, and then she shrugged nonchalantly. "I would have find out about him either way"

He exhaled a forlorn sigh. He shifted in his spot, attempting to find a more comfortable position. He leaned back closing his eyes.

He couldn't sleep. The truth was that he wasn't tired so rest wasn't something that he was seeking. He'd simply grow bored on his own. The driver that accompanied them wasn't a very talkative man. And after two days raveling with the lad, Merlin preferred sharing the remaining of their trip with Morgana over silence. He missed Arthur's company already.

Trying to distract himself with something, Merlin almost asked Morgana how was her research for a way back progressing so far. But dreading the reply he might receive from her, his mouth opened and closed couple of times before he snapped it shut and decided to actually attempt to get some sleep.

Needless to say, he failed at that once again. So he settled his eyes on her, watching as she ignored his presence and continued to eat her apples and read her book simultaneously.

It surprised him how quickly she managed to blend in with their new life. She looked different; there was no use in denying the obvious.

Her hair was no longer messy and disheveled. Her choice in cloths no longer contained the color black. It confused him, the reason that she changed her appearances ever since they had gotten there, was it to simply keep up her cover?

Leaning backward, Merlin allowed his gaze to sweep over her, scanning every bit of her. She had changed, at least on the outside.

Her hair, her cloths, they had all looked different. Her eyes on the other hand, they were a delicate and confusing dilemma.

They puzzled him. At times, they were vacant, shallow- a clear and evident proof of the hatred and resentment she hide inside- but from time to time, for just a brief period, those eyes would shine , brighten up with something other than those feelings. Like when he opened up about his father.

She'd settle her gaze at him; her emerald eyes would be kind, caring, yet not happy. They would never happy. Sad, sometimes….well most of the times, he bitterly corrected himself.

He averted his eyes once more over her form and this time they landed on her stomach.

If he were to be completely honest with himself, her swollen belly was the most noticeable and important change in Morgana. Forget the hair, the cloths and her unexplainable moods.

It was still an astonishing and hard to fully grasp the concept that 'The Lady' Morgana was in fact carrying his child. The truth, he'd been shoving that thought on regular basis to the back of his mind.

He just wanted to pass time and so he found himself interrupting her reading with a question.

"How do you suppose this happened?"

Irritated, Morgana looked up. "What is it now Merlin?" he repeated his question and Morgana followed his gaze that was settled on her stomach.

She quirked her eyebrows up. Her hand halfway to her mouth, it stopped midair. "How?"

Her voice reflecting her amazement at his question.

"We shagged…" she paused .Weighting the words she had uttered, Morgana shuddered. "Well not us, the other us." She corrected with half shrug and continued to eat her apple.

Felling the color rise to his cheeks, Merlin's eyes fell in embarrassment. "That's…that's not what I…I meant…" he stuttered. "Although, I…I do know how that …happened. Trust me I do"

Luckily for him, Morgana decided to relieve him out of his misery. "You are curious as to how we ended up married and expecting?"

"Yes" he all but screamed as he nodded frenetically. "That is what I wanted to ask."

"I don't know." She replied "To be honest, I do not care"

He was puzzled, Merlin bit his lower lip. "Are you not intrigued?"

"Intrigued?" she stared at him with blank expression. It lasted for a while and Merlin was about to call her name when she shook her head as she tried to focus her attention back to Merlin. "Even if I am, it will serve no good. It will not changed what really happened and it will certainly not alter the truth." Her expression darkened her voice cold. "I am dead."

His expression much hers, when he realized that she blaming him for what had happened. "You chose your path." He tried to defend himself.

"Still, you cannot deny your contribution in helping me make that choice."

The silence was back and this time it was an awkward and a thick one. At least, that how it felt to Merlin who found himself wondering how things ended up differently there for him and Morgana.

The idea that a servant like him had managed to win over the heart of a woman like the lady Morgana was both unbelievable and astonishing. Although, they both remained ignorant as to how such thing had been established between them. The history wasn't interested in the matter of the heart or the sentiments so such information couldn't be found in the history books they had brought from the library of Camelot. The other predicament was that they couldn't just simply ask about matters that Merlin and Morgana should have witnessed and lived first-hand.

What they knew was very little yet it explained so much. He discovered that he'd helped Morgana escape her capture and he'd hid her somewhere near Camelot. Uther's health had worsened rather quickly and earlier than what had originally happened during his time line. And Morgause's arrival at Camelot and her attempt to damage the relation between Arthur and his father had served only to accelerate Uther's death.

Even though, Arthur had tried to take his father's life, shortly after but he had discovered the truth… the one that Merlin had tried to hide from him and it had only led to heighten the hate that his master had held against magic and the ones that practiced it .But the Merlin from this reality had been honest about what really had happened and had managed to stop the prince from killing Uther…

"I thought you need it to sleep." Her voice snapped him back to reality. The first thing he noticed as his eyes came into focus was that his gaze was fixed on her chest. Slowly, he raised his head to her face.

"I was just thinking." he smiled weakly.

Morgana arched her eyebrows at him and then she nodded her head and resumed her reading.

That was weird.

A while later, Morgana shifted in her seat, her free hand, the one that wasn't holding the book, was on her abdomen, he regarded as Morgana, absently rubbed it...affectionately?

He frowned.

Abruptly, her eyes diverted up, locking gaze with his. His jerked, but didn't look away. He gulped at the piercing glare she was giving him.

It was only Merlin's semi-incredulous gaze that made her realize her hand had warped around her belly again, rubbing gently back and forth as though she was subconsciously trying to sooth the baby developing beneath her skin.

Morgana flushed, dropping her hand and wondering why's done that in front of him.

She gulped and her eyes tuned gold as she uttered words of magic. Merlin recognized the spell that Morgana had cast and he smirked.

"You're using the spell I gave you."

"Would you rather if I halt the carriage?" she argued.

He shook his head.

"Then shut up, Merlin. I am trying to read"

They were staring at each other now. For no obvious reason. Maybe they thought it was a good way to waste time, as boredom invaded the small place between them.

But it was definitely a terrible idea.

"I have this feeling that this trip will not end well." Morgana stated suddenly, Merlin glanced up at her with frowned brow. Morgana's eyes remained fixed on the book.

"What do you mean by that?" He shifted in his seat.

"When it came to your family, Merlin, I am clueless as to how to act when I'm with them." Her statement was honest, and slowly he began to understand her meaning.

His frowned deepened; Merlin licked his bottom lip before he said.

"Well…" He paused, breathing in. "…that make the two of us, Morgana." He said. "My mother is the only family I have ever known…" his lips threatened into a frown. "…and Gaius is …."

The truth was, Merlin never knew what a father figure could be like. So when it came to labeling the type of relation he shared with Gaius, Merlin found it hard to achieve that.

At his uncompleted sentence, Morgana looked up, her face expressionless.

"What about him?" she asked.

Laughing bitterly, Merlin shook his head.

"You are right, Morgana, I think this trip will surely end with a complete and utter letdown."

She closed her book, warping both her hands around it; Morgana hugged it closer to her chest.

"You have no idea who he is, don't you?" The tone of her voice was laced with sympathy kindness, something that made a smile tug at Merlin's lips.

He shook his head, muttering a 'no'. "But I know that he loved my mother dearly." A small smile graced his features, that fact was enough for him to make his heart flatter with joy.

Morgana scoffed. Merlin narrowed his eyes at her, harshly.

"What?"

"Nothing." She shrugged.

"No, you want to say something, simply say it Morgana."

"I don't know anything about your father, Merlin. So, I'm in no position to provide you with my opinion if I'm ignorant to the events that led to your father's abandonment of both you and your mother."

"He was forced to do that, Uther had sent knights after him."

A small laugh escaped her lips and Merlin clenched his jaw, her amusement was infuriating him.

"Pray tell Merlin, how did Uther manage to ruin your family as well?"

"He didn't…"he paused, thinking. "I'm not saying anything to you, Morgana." Remembering the vow that he'd promised himself about not telling her anything, Merlin reluctantly chose not to set her straight.

Morgana shrugged her shoulders; she didn't appear to want to ask any more questions. He was grateful for that.

Merlin was gazing outside. The abrupt sound of a book closing startled him and Merlin looked at her.

"Come on, Merlin! Tell me ." she snapped at him.

"Tell you what?" He feigned ignorance.

"What did Uther do to your family?" she asked. "…to force your father to leave you and your mother."

He gnawed on his lip. "I thought you are busy reading your book."

"This?" Morgana shifted in her seat, holding the said book high. "I have already finished it a while back. I just didn't want to stop the carriage again to get another one."

"So you have been pretending all this time…" he wondered, frowning.

"Yes. Pretending." Morgana admitted.

"I should have known how good you are at doing that."

"Not as good as you are Merlin." She said, bleakly.

Sheepishly, Merlin grinned. "Thank you."

"It was not a compliment, Merlin"

"I know."

Morgana narrowed her eyes and then nudged the tip of her noise. "I have the feeling that you are avoiding the matter."

"I will tale you…" he tilted his head the right side. "Only if you promise that you will not say anything until I'm finished."

"You have my word." She said quickly, with a small frown.

"Alright." Merlin took a deep breath. "Have you heard about the attack on Camelot by a dragon?"

She squinted then nodded her head. "I did. I heard it was brutal and gruesome. Morgause was hoping that we might the news of Uther or Arthur's death during it…"

"Sorry to disappoint." He cut her off.

"Finish your tale Merlin"

And he did as she asked.

The first thing that left Morgana's mouth after he finished speaking was a gasp.

Surprised by that Merlin cleared his dry throat. He thought that she must have been touched and was feeling apologetic.

"We have another thing in common, Merlin" she recovered from her shocked stated and her lips curved upward into a smile.

"What is that?" confusion washed over his features.

"We are both bastard children"

Merlin huffed, shaking his head. He pursed his lips together, trying not to snap at her.

He pushed the shades that covered the window, peering outside. Morgana, across from him, watched him in mild satisfaction. When he furrowed his brow, confusion washing over his features, she leaned forward.

"What's the matter?"

He didn't glance toward her, his eyes widening and Morgana, realizing that something must have been wrong for Merlin to act like that, scooped closer to her side of the window, mimicking Merlin's movements, her eyes were fixed on the road.

"This is not the path to Ealdore." He stated without glancing at her. His grip on the shades tightened.

Her eyes widened. "You think the driver made a mistake?"

He shook his head and glanced at her, his expression was still hard to read. "I asked for someone who knew his way to my parents' house…" he sighed.

"Then they must have changed their residence." She moved away from the window, she reached to grab her book when Merlin said.

"That's unlikely. Why would they do that?"

"If you are worried, ask the driver."

He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "That would certainly raise suspicion."

"We could always kill him." she stated bluntly.

"We?" he asked. "What do you mean 'we'? I'm not going to kill anyone Morgana."

She rolled her eyes. "You don't seem to have that problem when it comes to me" she murmured testily.

A dull ache throbbed briefly through his chest, and Merlin wondered when the mention of what he'd done to her would ever not hurt.

He maintained a straight face and pretended to ignored her "No one is going to kill or be killed, is that understood? I'm sure this-"

She interjected sullenly. "Someone always die, Merlin. No matter how hard you try to prevent that."

"-thing would be clarified shortly…." He trailed off, registering what Morgana had said.

"I thought we agreed that you will not kill anyone or else I'll be striping you out of your magic."

"I do remember our agreement, Merlin. However, I said nothing about not trying to kill anyone." Her voice was loaded with sarcasm; she offered a big grin to prove how nonchalant and indifferent she was about his threat.

"Morgana" He warned with a firm and harsh tone.

"Merlin" Morgana imitated him. Yet, her expression was hard as if she wasn't doing that simply to anger Merlin but in reality because she meant it.

"If you hurt anyone, I will take your magic." He leaned forward. And she did the same.

"Do that, Merlin and I promise you…"

"What?" He promoted. "What will you do?"

"Your parents shall be the first ones I kill."

He raised his eyebrow, his eyes brightening up with delight. "How are going to achieve that when you no longer have your magic?"

She smirked. "Perhaps, you have forgotten, but I'm quite skilled with a sword."

A throaty laugh escaped his lips making Morgana's face fell.

"What's so amusing?"

"You have a disadvantage." He told her. Merlin, from across of her, took away the book and bowl that were placed by her side and put them on his bench.

"What disadvantage?" She asked, confusion washing over her features. As she realized what he done, she frowned. What are-?"

Swiftly, and unlike her, Merlin was able to move from one bench to the other without much of an effort. He sat next to her.

She waited for him to reply to her question but then she felt slight pressure on her abdomen, she glanced down. She noticed that his hand was on her stomach, resting there lazily. But she understood the meaning behind his gesture, the weakness he mentioned. She was with a child, she was heavy, uncoordinated. Without her magic, she was vulnerable. She was weak. Her hands began to shake.

Refusing to appear exposed and affected by his threat, Morgana cleared her throat, forcing a smile to grace her features. One hand clenched the mattress of the bench, her nails sinking in as she tried to stop its trembling to the point her knuckles turned white. The other hand, Morgana put it on top of his. She looked up. Her eyes met his.

"Don't tempt me Merlin; I will be forced to prove you wrong." She tried her best to make her voice be as steady as possible, yet Merlin saw right through her weak attempt. It was fear that gave her away. Fear that shone brightly in her eyes. Her smile was stale, which was rather obvious.

"Please do." He challenged boldly, his smile widening.

Her whole body tensed. Her eyes widening with shock at his smug reply. Quickly, his smile became a smirk and her fake grin disappeared into a grimace.

She averted her eyes away, glancing at their joined hands; she swallowed the lump that formed in her throat.

Merlin sat there silently enjoying that moment. At last he finally managed to rend her speechless, he outwitted her.

Merlin was proud of himself. That was a rare moment and he was not certain when another similar moment might present itself once again, but for now, he decided he was going to fully take pleasure in her despair.

After everything she had done over the years, it was the least thing he could do. But that didn't mean he wasn't scared that she might attempt something. He knew Morgana when she was feeling intimidate by someone she'd simply attack them.

And in his case, he did not want Morgana to throw him out off the carriage while it was still moving. Slowly he scooped away from her, and contemplated returning back to his bench.

He never got a chance to carry on with his decision, as Morgana's hand left his. Shortly after that, he heard a sniff.

Merlin furrowed his brow.

"Morgana, are you alright?" He received a hum from her.

He moved his hand from her abdomen and rested it on her shoulder gently. "What's the matter? Tell me." He urged her worriedly.

"I am fine." She snapped and shoved his hand away. As she did that, she had raised her head and now Merlin could see her face.

"Are you crying?" he asked, shocked.

She shook her head while she tried to wipe the tears away. "No, I'm not."

Merlin scoffed, the evidence was clear and right in front of his eyes. "If you think I will be fooled by that, Morgana then you are mistaken."

Her lips parted and she blinked twice.

He changed seats and was now sitting across from her. just like she had said earlier she was good at pretending.

His apology, the one that'd hopped she'd accept after Morgana had been found was honest and she, just like that moment, had tears falling down her face and he had thought that she had forgiven him.

"You are pathetic." He hissed through gritted teeth.

He closed his eyes as her sobs slowly began to subside and eventually the calm was back. He was finally able to doze off with a big grin on his face.


	9. Chapter 9

_Obligatory disclaimer_ _:Merlin and all associated creative properties belong to BBC. I don't claim any said property as my own, and I make no monetary profit from this fan-made story. All creative property not associated with said channel belong to me, and their use is limited to my express permission. Thank you._

__Once AGAIN .THIS CHAPTER IS NOT EDITED. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED. if stumbled upon any mistakes, please point them out for me._ _

* * *

Chapter 10 :  _First Meetings Are Always The Hardest._

She was right. Of course she was. No matter how foolish she had been to dismiss that thought the moment it had crossed her mind. Morgana wanted to turn her head towards him and with a smug smirk gracing her lips she'd utter 'I told you so' but despite how tempting the idea was, she found herself unable to gaze away from the sight that her eyes seemed to be glued to.

She was right and Merlin's parents no longer occupied the small village called Ealdore.

The small and irritating chat she had had with Merlin had been a distraction for both of them. While she had been too occupied with humiliation and anger for letting him enjoy a moment of momentary victory, Merlin had dozed off; she had almost gone through with the thought of throwing him off the carriage. She knew better and instead she had watched him sleep.

Now, as she stood before the new residence of Hunith and her husband, Morgana knew that her astonishment was nothing compared to Merlin's.

Letting a long breath she'd been holding back, Morgana was pulled out of her daze as the front door of the big house was flung open, the familiar yet slight altered figure of Hunith came in sight and Morgana heard Merlin gasp.

When he first descended the carriage, Merlin had assumed that the driver had made a mistake and he'd taken a wrong road.

Merlin was stupid enough to argue with the man as the warlock insisted that the house he was standing before was definitely not the house he'd grown up in.

He should have known better, he was smarter than that. He should have thought of it. He should have. After all, Merlin was the brother in-law of the king of Camelot, his personal advisor and closest friend.

The parents of such important individual should not be living in a one room house in a small village. No. They must inhabit a big house similar to the one he was staring at that very moment. It wasn't a castle yet it wasn't a hovel either. It was house that was big enough to shelter half a dozen families of Ealdore.

His feet took a step forward and he stood in front of Morgana. Glancing to her, he was sober enough for his eyes to send a silent plea to the highest priestess, begging her to do just like they had agreed prior to their departure. An instant nod was her reply and it was enough to reduce his building up anxiety.

Hunith stood still by the door and Merlin forced a smile and hopped that it was enough to conceal his surprise.

He sighed and all he wanted to do was slap himself for not contemplating that thought before.

It wasn't Ealdore and it was no longer his childhood home. He needed to get used to that quickly.

"Mother" the word came in whisper as he suddenly found his voice hoarse. He cleared his throat.

She looked surprised to see them then she shook her head and smiled. Hunith made her way toward them.

"I assume Mordred forgot to inform me of your visit when he had came two days ago."

Still unable to trust his voice, Merlin merely shook his head, Morgana, of course noted that.

"No." Morgana stepped in, deciding it was time to start her role as Merlin's wife. She had been standing behind Merlin. "Merlin thought it is better…" the words died in her throat as Hunith squealed. It surprised Morgana.

Her eyes fixed on the bulge that was Morgana's abdomen, her lips parted certainly to speak a word that would describe her evident surprise. However a voice from behind broke the moment and three pairs of eyes were now on a man that had just made his presence known to them.

"What are you doing here?" Merlin gulped his heart racing.

That definitely was not the words that Merlin had anticipated coming from his father's lips. He absently held his breath and glanced over at Morgana.

He vaguely heard his mother speak; the words did not reregister to him. But he saw Morgana's lips part slightly. It made him wonder what his mother had said.

He didn't even notice the confused look on her face that she was sending because of his silence. She noticed, however, that the color had drained from his.

With his eyes still on hers. 'That's Balinor?' Morgana's voice echoed in his mind, he closed his eyes briefly and then nodded as his eyes traveled back to where his father was once standing only to find him a mere feet away from him. Merlin took a step back.

It happened too fast .Yet a pair of strong arms are wrapped around him all of the sudden and Merlin knew they were his father's and he let out a shaky breath.

 _I have missed you._  He wanted to utter and he wished that he could just bury his face in the crook of his father's neck and apologize over and over again for not being able to save him.

Since he cannot do that, he instead, returned the embrace, even if it was quick and insufficient to make him feel less guilty.

"Father"

"Son"

The other two women remained calm as they watch them. Morgana saw pride and contentment in Hunith's eyes. Morgana, on the other hand, was envious.

Once the hug was over, Merlin swiftly wiped his eyes.

" _Hello?"_ Morgana spoke up, seeing the emotional state Merlin was soon to be experiencing. It was both better and  _safer_  if Hunith and Balinor did not take notice in their son's unshed tears.

"If it is not my favorite daughter-in-law?" Balinor said. Hunith was standing by his side; the two of them were beaming at Merlin and Morgana.

The older man, moved forward, opened his arms pulling Morgana into a tight embrace. It was Merlin's turn to be envious.

"Favorite?" She wondered.  _She thought Merlin was an only child._

Hunith rolled her eyes and turned toward her son embracing him while muttering a hello.

They broke apart a second later; she smiled warmly at her son. But seeing the confused look on his face and realizing that his eyes were elsewhere, Hunith followed his gaze. She huffed in annoyance when she saw what her only child was staring at.

"Balinor…enough." Hunith warned, her tone light, when she noticed that the hug between her husband and Morgana continued.

The man sighed and broke the embrace and moved back.

"Oh dear! Morgana look at you." Hunith exclaimed, clasping her hands together. She took a step closer toward Morgana.

"You look…" Balinor paused, he seemed to be considering his next words.

"bigger?" Merlin chimed in from behind, with a quirked eyebrow.

The smile that the warlock's mother held ever since she had laid eyes on the two of them fell instantly and Merlin found her glaring at him and felt a nudge in his side that had been from his father.

"What?" He asked defensively, not understanding the reason that made her look at him like that.

"You can't say such things about your wife." His mother shook his head in utter disapproval.

Morgana frowned. "Why? It is the truth."

"Nonsense." Hunith waved her hand dismissively "You look stunning." With that, Hunith pulled Morgana into a warm hug. It wasn't exactly a hug, considering the swollen stomach. The high priestess was reluctant at first; eventually she warped her arms around the other woman.

"Stunning." Merlin murmured, scoffing .Morgana was arrogant as she was, they didn't need to boost her ego much higher. Merlin rolled his eyes and that didn't go unnoticed by the rest.

"Merlin." His father warned and the man in question turned to 'his wife'.

"I'm sorry, Morgana. You are stunning. Beautiful even, if I dare say." Merlin mumbled and Morgana smirked mischievously at him.

"I am well aware of that, Merlin. But thank you."

Merlin narrowed his eyes. He fought the urge to say something back but the presence of his parents prevented him from doing so. The four of them fell into complete silence that would have become an awkward one but it was quickly put into an end when Morgana said.

"Let's head inside, shall we. I'm afraid I can no longer stand. My feet are rather aching." Merlin glanced toward her, by the look on her face; he knew that what she had uttered was the truth.

Balinor nodded his head. "You head inside." He addressed the two women. "Merlin and I will take of your belongings"

* * *

Once inside, Morgana was feeling thirsty and she voiced her wish for water. Hunith complied instantly, leaving Morgana on her own, standing few feet away from the front door, gawking.

Moments later, Balinor, their driver and Merlin walked inside, their hands filled with possessions. Merlin was trailing behind them. Since he wasn't familiar with the place, he just followed them, blindly.

* * *

"So…." Balinor began, his eyes moved from Merlin then to Morgana. The four of them were seated around a small round table. "We were planning on heading toward Camelot next month." Hinith hummed, as if confirming her husband's words.

"Well...I thought …." He stuttered "I…I missed… you." Morgana averted her eyes, her gaze settling on Merlin. She briefly wondered if his words were meant to his mother or his father. She suspected it was for both.

"We missed you too, son." Hunith placed her hand on top of her son's, giving it a small pat and a warm smile.

Merlin beamed at his mother.

"To be honest, I didn't think you would be visiting until after the child's birth, but I reckoned Morgana would not be coming as well."

Morgana looked at Balinor. "Merlin dragged me along with him. He insisted quite a lot. "

"Was he worried?"

Morgana shook her head. "I think the correct word will be scared."

"Scared?" he echoed, bewildered. The older man glanced toward his son, arching his eyebrows.

"I was not." The warlock exclaimed with a nervous smile. He narrowed his eyes at Morgana whose only respond was a shrug and smirk.

"Well, it is quite natural for him to be scared, Morgana." The older woman began. "He's probably worried and does not wish to be parted from you while you are in such state."

Morgana snorted which earned her a puzzled stare from the rest. Merlin was long past caring for her wellbeing. If only his parents knew how many times he'd tried to kill her or that he had actually succeeded in achieving that not a week ago.

She simply closed her eyes briefly and when she opened them, she offered them a big grin.

However, no one was fouled by her attempt and Hunith regarded her child and Morgana closely with narrowed eyes.

"Is everything alright between you two?" the words that came from her lips had startled both Merlin and Morgana.

Her son gulped, hating to lie to his mother, he merely nodded his head.

"Why wouldn't it be?" He scowled at his mother, faking a confused expression.

They shared a brief look…it was quick, however it spoke volumes. Morgana let her gaze stray from Merlin to his mother. Her lips quirked up into a small fake smile.

"The trip was rather long and tiring for my liking." Morgana explained.

"You didn't wish to come." Hunith stated her voice calm yet accusing and sad.

"What?" The high priestess blinked twice. "I was teasing earlier when I said that Merlin forced me to come. I …" she looked over at Merlin almost pleading for him to help. "I think I'm having one of my dreadful moods. Merlin detests them completely. He says that I become rather hard to deal with." She paused. "Is it not true Merlin?"

The man in question nodded frantically at his parents. "Not just the moods that are terrible, her craving as well, one night she wanted to be the queen." He saw his father's eyes widened. "Of all the things to crave, she wished for the throne of Camelot."

"Merlin!" Morgana cried out. But the laughter that was emitted from the two elderly sitting across from her had her snap her mouth shut.

"Well no wonder, you were scared…" Balinor said.

But everything is alright between you? Hunith asked once more, as if she was still uncertain.

"Of course…Things have never been better." Merlin assured his mother. "Right, Morgana?"

The witch confirmed his statement with a "yes". Her eyes fixed on Merlin. Through his parents eyes, the warlock and his wife seemed to have a private moment of their one as both Merlin and Morgana smiled warmly at each other. but that was far away from the truth.

When she gazed back at Balinor and Hunith, she found them staring at her and Merlin.

Hesitant and bewildered, she cleared her throat. "What?"

Hunith crossed her arms over her chest and smiled wickedly at them.

"No need to be shy, now. I know how you two like to express your affection toward each other."

Morgana's eyes widened and she looked down avoiding glancing at the others, especially Merlin.

"Express…how exactly?" Merlin stuttered.

Hunith chuckled and shook her head at her son's stupid question. "You know exactly how."

When Merlin continued to demonstrate ignorance, Balinor sighed with an amused expression.

"I don't quite understand how Arthur assigned you as his advisor."

* * *

After awhile, Hunith stood up, catching the attention of the rest, cutting the conversation her two men were having. They all looked toward at her.

"Where are you going?" Merlin asked.9

"I need to start preparing the dinner…" she answered adjusting her dress.

Morgana frowned, glanced between Merlin and his mother and then made an attempt to stand up.

"What do you think you are doing?"

Help you?

Hunith chuckled and shook her head. "No need dear. I think I will manage just fine. You rest your legs."

Morgana didn't argue, and sat down once more and Hunith left the room.

Soon enough, Merlin and Balinor were talking about the matters in Camelot with Balinor asking and Merlin providing his father with his answers.

Morgana sighed, feeling bored. She glanced around her. She was considering the possibility of taking a tour around the house. But before she was able to make up her mind, she was drifting into a deep sleep.

* * *

She woke up groggily to the feeling of being gently place on a soft mattress. She could only crack one eye open as her head hit the pillow bellow and it was met with Merlin's face fairly close to hers.

The other eye snapped open and she blinked twice as Merlin distance himself from her and sat next to her on the bed.

"What's happened?" She murmured tiredly. She closed her eyes only to open them moments later as she waited for his reply.

"You fell asleep." He answered her. Glancing around him, Merlin spotted a blanket. He stood up and reached for it. He sighed as he walked back and slowly covered her with it.

"Go back to sleep Morgana."Her eyes were half open as she silently watched him. The ability to keep her eyes open was becoming too hard for her. No matter how many times blinked , she couldn't get rid of the exhaustion that seemed to sweep over her body. "I shouldn't have come here. Something bad is about to occur." Morgana muttered.

His eyes widened and Merlin held his breath. "You had a vision?" Morgana hadn't woke up screaming from a nightmare, furthermore she had said that something back would happen, so it was safe for Merlin to assume that she had received a vision hence her vague statement

She hummed something that Merlin was unable to determine. Morgana curled into her side so her back was to Merlin.

He reached his hand out shaking her shoulder.

"Morgana, what do you mean. What's going to happen? " But Morgana just groaned and pushed his hand away.

She wasn't going to provide him with an answer and feeling slightly defeated and worried, Merlin sighed and stood up. With heavy yet steady steps he made his way toward the chamber's door. With one last glance at Morgana's form, he exited the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

He would inquire the truth from Morgana once she woke up properly. For now, he would enjoy his time getting to know his long lost father.


	10. Chapter 10

Obligatory disclaimer:Merlin and all associated creative properties belong to BBC. I don't claim any said property as my own, and I make no monetary profit from this fan-made story. All creative property not associated with said channel belong to me, and their use is limited to my express permission. Thank you.

Once AGAIN .THIS CHAPTER IS NOT EDITED. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED. if stumbled upon any mistakes, please point them out for me.

I'm looking for a beta-reader. if anyone is willing to help please PM me. A great reason for the delay between updates is that I wait for my beta to send back the chapters but as you can notice the past 6 chapters are unedited...Hopefully you'll understand.

Chapter 10 :

Merlin had no idea as to how had Morgana managed to exit the house without her being noticed. Upon retreating back to "their chamber" to check up on her and finding it empty, he'd asked his mother, who as well had had no knowledge of Morgana's whereabouts. He had told his mother not to worry and with that he had left her to finish her preparation for dinner. He started to look for the other woman himself.

As he set his foot on the house's threshold, he hoped that Morgana hadn't attempted to escape once again.

Fortunately, it did not take him long to spot her. Though, it seemed that she had chosen a faraway place. He sighed in relief and made his way toward her.

From a distance he could only make out her form. Once he got closer to her, he realized that ––she had her eyes close.

Was she asleep? Had she not get enough? It had been hours since he had laid her down on the bed.

He approached her with steady steps making sure not to make loud noises.

"Are you asleep?" he asked gently, in case she was indeed resting he didn't wish to disturb her.

She was not.

She opened her eyes and tilted her head at him. Her eyes meeting his, quickly before she turned away from him and closing them once more.

"No. I'm thinking." The tone of her voice was hush, low. It confused him.

He nodded his head at her response, ignoring his observation. He shifted his gaze from her form and took a prolonged look at their surroundings. It was the absolute quiet and silence. An optimum place for pondering. No wonder Morgana chose it.

He paused in line that line of thought…what could Morgana be possibly thinking about. Another plot against Camelot?

"About?" He decided to ask her instead of making futile assumption. Why not simply get a straight answer from the source itself. No need to waste time. She was leaning against a massive tree, big enough for the two of them to rest their backs against it. He started toward it.

Morgana turned her head, frowning. "Pardon?"

He stopped in his tracks.

It seemed that she did not understand what he had said. He rushed to clarify.

"You said that you were thinking. About what?"

"Oh." But she did not reply to his question right away. Instead, she settled her gaze on him, following him until he was seated next to her, yet he put a lot of space between them.

He titled his head, giving her a look that said that he was still waiting for her response.

Her lips curved slightly upward, forming a small yet clearly a bitter smile.

"You." Her voice was soft. He arched an eyebrow .Merlin certainly did not see that coming.

"Me?" he asked, confused. Her sad smile only got wider seeing the bewilder expression on his face.

He was waiting for an elaboration; he didn't expect her to confuse him furthermore with what she added next.

"There were signs, Merlin…" she heaved a sigh…it sounded shaky to him. Was she crying or trying to hide it. "A lot of them, I might add, to be honest. Signs that indicated openly that you were not who you claimed to be."

His frowned deepened, he cleared his throat. "I do not understand what you are speaking of, Morgana?"

She blinked twice and sighed again, this time she seemed more composed, in control over her emotions.

"Things you said…things you did. Things that a mere servant like you should not have said or done…yet you have, time and time again. I should have paid more attention to them…they told quite a lot about who you really are. My only wrong doing was misreading those signs."

"That I was Emrys?" he promoted.

That was who he really and truly was. He wondered what had brought that up, wondered what Morgana was actually trying to inform him.

"Not necessarily. No" she shook her head. She shifted her gaze to stare at something passed him. He turned her head to see what she was looking at. He could only see trees, different in kind and shape. Normal, no abnormalities. At least nothing that was interesting enough to gain her attention. Well that was what he thought. Yet again, perhaps she was simply deep in thought. Looking but not actually seeing.

The whole situation was beginning to unnerve him. He was about to ask if she was feeling alright…but she spoke and thus silencing him.

"Not necessarily…" she repeated this time her eyes were settled on his. "…but perhaps that you had magic."

He was taken aback by that. His eyes widening as he fully grasped the true meaning of her words. If what she was trying to tell him was true then…how come no one suspected him? Apart from the accusation that had been made by the witch-finder and Gaius whilst being possessed by the goblin, no one had truly had doubts about him. Morgana knew the truth and that was now. It changed everything. So she was merely making wild assumption. If he were to guess, he'd say that she was just blaming herself for not foreseeing it.

Morgana was wrong, because he had been careful. Very careful and he told her so.

He was rewarded with a chuckle. A forced one.

"I have been sitting here…" she paused, taking her time to inhale deeply then exhale, he watched her silently. "…thinking about it, Merlin. And realized one thing."

He did not have to ask what it was, she told him anyway.

"I am stupid and a fool."

His lips parted, he was going to state that she was nothing but. However he ran a hand through his hair." And what are these signs that you speak of…what are they?"

He was prepared to contradict everything that she would say. Had deep faith that Morgana was wrong on so many levels.

But she shook her head. "It'll do no good to speak of them. It will change nothing."

He had anticipated such response from her and he wasn't surprised when he heard her words. He could only snort.

"If that was true then, why did you not suspect me earlier?"

"Because I thought that you were my friend…" she snickered with a shook of her head. "Well at least that was what I assumed until you poisoned me and then…" he cut her off.

"I was your friend…" he told her sternly. "I never wished to do it. I was forced."

She snorted. "But it did happen and what is done, is done. No good will come if we dwell on it."

Not wanting to continue down that line, and recalling that particular incident , would only lead to yet another quarrel and most possibly a fight with Morgana, Merlin murmured a "yes".

It seemed that neither wanted to talk about it or anything else for that matter because they continued to sit in complete and tense silence.

It became too awkward, he decided to leave her be.

He was on his feet when she spoke again. He stopped.

"Why didn't you act sooner? If you knew that I, along with Mordred would form an alliance and try to take over Camelot. How come you didn't do anything to put an end to it? I mean you did poison me but that was almost two years after we had helped Morderd escape his end."

"Because you were my friend as well." The words left his mouths so quickly .Her jaw was ajar, she was shocked by his immediate and unexpected response, but she recovered quickly, she focused her attention at what Merlin was saying. "I refused to believe that you might do something to bring harm upon Camelot and its citizens…"

"Well it appears that both of us have been mistaken." Her face bore an expressionless look, it irritated him.

"It was never in my attention to…" she trailed off and cleared her throat. "…I didn't know what Morgause plan had been. She told me that she would see to rid Camelot of Uther ….Not get rid of both of them."

Morgana had never spoke of what had occurred with her and Morgause. And the truth was that he was ignorant as to how Morgause managed to convince Morgana to become the vial of the spell. He had his doubts…that Morgana was oblivious to her sister's true intension.

"I know." He nudged the bit of his noise. Morgana's eyes widened in horror. He wished he could look away, feeling the guilt sweep over him. But he was paralysed, unable to move under her intense stare.

"Then why did you…" he knew what she was going to say. However the words never left her mouth.

The reason to him was unknown. He didn't bother to ask.

He shrugged. "I …" he swallowed had. "I knew that Morgause was your sister and I was certain that she would not let any harm befall you. I used that knowledge to my advantage."

"What are you trying to say, truly?" she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Put an end to the spell and I inform her of the poison I used on you. Or else…" he didn't finish, the meaning was clear.

"A bargain." She stated, her glare remained intact.

He nodded his head. Morgana clenched her jaw. It was, apparently the wrong thing to say.

"So it was never your goal to kill me?" she challenged him.

Silence.

He managed to hold her gaze for brief period.

His voice was hoarse as he spoke

"No." A lie.

They both knew it. Morgana did not say anything.

"You should have told me that it was within my power to stop what was happening to Camelot."

He frowned. "It would not have made much difference…"

"I would have drunk the poison myself." She countered.

Merlin didn't know how he should be feeling following her statement. His blood ran cold and he closed his eyes.

He had no doubt that Morgana would have willingly drunk the poison to save the lives of her loved one. He knew how she had been like prior to her disappearance, before Morgause had interfered and crawled her way into Morgana's life.

To have to listen to Morgana say that she would have sacrificed herself made his heart ache and his throat tighten.

"I …Morgana…" he sighed in frustration. Why was she doing that to him? Why was she bringing this up now? Today? Opening closed wounds. Scares.

Why today of all days. He was supposed to enjoy the fact that his father was alive.

The conversation so far was slowly yet continuously killing his happy mood.

He didn't wish to bring up the past.

He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't think I would have let you do so."

She snorted, arching an eyebrow. "Why is that Merlin? After all it was supposed to be a ploy."

"Morgana." He tried to cut her off.

"Like you said, Morgause wouldn't have let me get hurt…I didn't…"

"I don't wish to speak of this any longer." He stood up quickly; she took a hold of his arm.

"I am still talking to you."

"Well, I am done." He began to walk away.

She struggled to get to her feet. "You are a fool, Merlin. A hypocrite and a liar." She called out.

He stopped abruptly. He slowly turned around to face her. His eyes were cold and filled with anger.

"Believe me I know."

She moved closer. "You regret it, don't you? Saving Mordred's life."

He absently nodded, she saw that and smirked. "You probably regret saving mine as well."

He shook his head frantically. "You secretly wish that you have left me to die…Arthur wouldn't have died…"

"No…" he murmured and continued to shake his head.

"I have my own regrets too Merlin. Would you like to hear them?" She hissed. "I regret asking Arthur to save your life when you are poisoned, you remember that don't you? I regret offering my help when your village was in danger."

Merlin's eyes widened. "Did you really think that Arthur would have…?"

"He was great man; he would have done the right thing."

"Do you honestly believe the nonsense that you are saying?"

He titled his head. "Not nonsense. It is the truth."

Morgana threw her head back, realising a throaty laugh. "My goodness, Merlin. You are a fool." She took deep breaths. "If it was not for me you would have been dead, your precious village would have become ruins and perhaps," she smirked. "A father would not have been the only parent you could have lost."

His voice was raw. The pressure of her words was settling in his chest making it harder for him to breathe with every word she utter. He closed his eyes, fighting off his own terrified thoughts generated by her snide statements. He took his time to speak again.

Despite everything, he knew that Arthur would have helped no matter what. He had trained the men of his village to fight, if that wasn't an indication of a true kill, he didn't know what it was.

"Yes. You might be right. If it were not for you, things might have taken a different course. However, Arthur did save my life and he did save my village, even if it was because of you." He decided to humour her.

"What does that tell you? He didn't care about Ealdore, or the children in it. He cared solely about my safety. He was merely worried about me. Arthur wouldn't have thought twice about the innocents and not even you."

"What do you want from me, Morgana? A thank you?" He snapped at her, Morgana took a step backwards.

He was angry, something that she was unfamiliar with. He was scaring her. He could see the fear in her eyes and it didn't matter that she was trying her best to hide it. It was quite enjoyable for him. He liked the sight of her squirming to retort and say something back.

And after their little chat just now, his blood was boiling.

"Thank you!" He screamed. His face was red with his building up anger. "Thank you for ruining everything I have ever worked for."

She winced and blinked twice her mouth opening and closing. Then Morgana surprised him when her lips curved upward, a wide smirk was placed on her face. She was challenging him. Testing his nerves. He was losing.

"You are welcome, Merlin. But it is rather long overdue. Perhaps next time?"

Merlin scowled "Next time?" He whispered, confused. His shoulders slumped.

He looked tired, he felt tired. This conversation was consuming him.

"What do you want Morgana? Why are you doing this?" His voice shook. He sounded pathetic. He was almost begging her, pleading her to end this mind torture.

"To see the truth. I knew Arthur longer than you have, Merlin. He is not the king that you think he is."

He scoffed "of course he isn't. He does not kill innocents like you."

She gave him a toothy grin. "Do I need to remind you of the shines? I'm certain you have heard of them."

That was different. Merlin knew the truth and he quickly began to defend his friend. "What happened was a mistake. The knights disobeyed Arthur. They were the one that killed the children."

"And you trust such king? Whose followers have no respect toward his orders?" she snorted. "What a king indeed."

"It was not his fault. He would have never have do something like that."

"Do you remember when I went to the druids…?" she smiled. "Silly question. Of course you do."

He nodded his head affirmatively, nevertheless. She continued to speak, uninterrupted.

"They were children, women. Innocent families that he killed with a cold blood."

He scoffed. "Under Uther's orders."

"At the end, what really matters that he did kill them."

Merlin pressed his lips together.

..TCCOMM.:.

She had done it once again…she had been getting on his nerves. Perhaps it was due to this conversation that he reached the breaking point, or the fact that she had been there. In the castle, fairly close to Arthur and everyone Merlin ever cared for.

It angered immensely that she had been walking down the corridors, the hallways of Camelot as if nothing had ever happened, while he worried constantly that she might attempt something.

In the end, even someone as patient as him, could let the rage take over, unintentionally.

He let his anger cloud his judgement, let it blind him, prevent him from seeing reason. To understand that even though the woman standing before him, smirking smugly looked like Morgana, talked like Morgana, she definitely was not as strong as the Morgana he'd known.

At least not physically.

It was quite unfortunate that such realisation of such important detail was established rather late.

Only when his hand was outstretched and Morgana flying backward, all signs of mirth vanishing from her features, only then did he finally register the grave mistake he had made.

She landed on her right side and then due the impact she rolled over and her back was slammed against a tree.

He froze. Then recovered and ran to her.

By the time he reached her, she was hunching over, leaning most of her weight against the tree to maintain her balance.

"I'm sorry…I really…" he hovered over her, hesitant as to what he should do. Not certain if he could touch her. Fearing that he might hurt her or the child additionally if he were to lay in hand on her.

He had been angry; he never wished to harm her. "I didn't mean…" The words were cut off by a yelp. Emitting from him.

Morgana had taken advantage of his distracted state of mind and she rounded him, quickly. She shoved him against the same tree she'd been leaning on. He winced as his back hit the tree trunk. Before he knew it, a dagger was firmly pressed against his throat and there was only one thing he could think of.

Where the bloody hell had she been keeping it?

No time to think of an answer. His eyes focused solemnly on her.

It was almost like the old times. When she'd try to kill him…well kill Emrys and he'd try to find ways to stop her.

He wondered if it would be the same thing now. His mind drifted to their last fight, last encounter. The final battle. He'd killed her. It had hit him suddenly the awareness that the only way to put an end to her schemes was to kill her. It had been simple. It had been too late.

He did not grieve. He did not lament her death. Arthur had been dying. Important things needed to be taken care of, other than the fact that he just took a life.

The ugly truth was that he didn't care….well he did, but slightly. After all she once had been a friend of his. However she had ruined everything for him. She deserved that fate, she had it coming.

And at that moment, he wondered, briefly, if he could do it again.

Just kill her. It would not be that hard.

The fact that she had a knife to his throat didn't frighten him. He had been through worst.

All it might take was a flick of his hand, he could break her neck. Morgana would be no more.

He could find a way to explain what happened to his parents and to the rest. He would even mourn her, shed few tears. Then he would be free of her. Of her threats. Only then would he be able enjoy this life, everything around him. Everything he'd ever wanted. He would have all. He could even have…Freya.

The idea was too appealing for him to be disregarded.

"Why are you smiling?" he shook his head. Morgana was glaring at him, she had said something. He was smiling…oh! He thought that he was grinning widely. The idea becoming clearer. He could see it, almost touch it, the life he could have. With Arthur as a king and Freya by his side. It was a dream on its way to become a reality.

But his hopefulness was short lived when he felt en extra pressure, other than the one from the knife. He glanced down. He pouted.

Her swollen belly was touching his. He became aware that despite his willingness to end Morgana's life; he could not do the same to the child growing inside of her. Even though it was his, what was more important was that it was an innocent life.

So he would not kill her. He erased the idea from his mind. But as he did, another took its place.

But if he didn't kill Morgana, then what would she do to him?

Kill him certainly, might do the same to his parents and to others until she took what she so foolishly thought was hers.

Now he was in a dilemma.

Sacrifice the life of an unborn child and save the lives of hundreds or he does nothing and as a result repeat the mistake of the past. The mistake of ignoring kilgharrah's warnings and seeing the best in the high priestess.

What should he do? What should he do?

It was a hard decision. He furrowed his brow, thinking.

Perhaps he could ask Morgana.

When he refocused his attention back at her, he noticed that all blood had been drained from her face.

Had she heard what he'd been contemplating?

Impossible, she couldn't read his mind, could she?

..TCCOMM.:.

She was used to this, being thrown by Emrys, which happened almost every time they cross paths.

At first, she assumed that this time would be no difference. She had recovered quickly and Merlin's worry about the child had been well exploited. But it was sudden-he pain that took her by surprise.

For a moment, it was as if all the air had escaped from her. Her body failed her. Her lungs struggling to catch the much needed breath she wished for. Every muscle within her was throbbing, twisting and aching as if someone was attempting to contort them into some unnatural position. She, however, kept her eyes fixed on Merlin's face, forcing herself to uphold a straight face despite the pain. She gritted her teeth together, preventing a cry out. Her grip on the dagger only tightened…she saw it in his eyes, the confusion, and the bewilderment. She added more pressure, but not enough to cut through the skin. Her hand began to tremble. Seconds passed, but with time the pain-its power merely intensified.

She found herself unable to think, to focus on anything else but the agony that now festered in her very being in an uncontrollable state.

The dagger landed by her feet, her anger toward Merlin forgotten and the hand that was previously holding the knife was now pressed against her stomach. She felt weak, too weak to stay on her feet. Too weak to feign strength. She doubled over before she was crouching on the ground as the pain shot in waves throughout her lower abdomen.

She felt pressure of someone warping their hands around her, gripping her arms and hoisting, softly, gently in a sitting position.

Morgana reached a quivering hand, trying to push Merlin away. She smacked his chest, but he remained sitting by her. Her flat hand turned into clutch, grasping into his shirt desperately.

Something happened. Something she had said in a gasp. And then, as quickly and unexpected as it came, the agonizing pain faded away without a trace. With its departure, air found her once again; her tense state relaxing as her lungs filled with the vital air that she could not find previously.

"Morgana!"

The voice pulled her from the fog that clouded her eyes. Its cry hoarse, strained. When she lifted her head in the direction of the sound, she saw Merlin. He looked to her, blue eyes wild with a guilt that no words can describe.

As if meeting his eyes was a wakeup call.

"Are you alright? I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you. I…" she pulled her hand away. "Don't touch me…" She shoved him again.

"I won't" he shook his head.

Nausea rose in the pit of her stomach; her knees trembling unsteadily as she tried to hold herself together. Standing up, she found herself blinking several times, feeling lightheaded and in dire need of water. When she lifted her gaze, she said, breathlessly. "Do not lay your hand on me again, Merlin."

He repeated instantly. "I promise, I won't."

She left him, frozen in his place. One thought consuming him….

..TCCOMM.:.

When he walked inside the house, Merlin took a deep breath. He heard voices coming from the dining area, he followed them. Morgana was good.

For a moment he paused to admire her...ability to pretend.

As he stood there, he remembered once again that she had managed to fool both Arthur and Uther for so long. He had no doubt that she'd find his parents, rather, easier to play with. With her words, her smile, Balinor and Hunith certainly did not stand a chance.

They were sitting around the table, clearly waiting for his arrival. Morgana had a big smile gracing her features, talking to his father.

He cleared his throat. Making his presence known, the smile fluttered instantly as her eyes landed on him.

She clenched her jaw...she glared at him. His mother called out his name, ushering him to join them. He averted his eyes to look at Morgana and the smile was back. But it didn't reach her eyes.

He sat across from her; Are you alright? He mouthed and she answered with an expected reply. She looked away, she ignored him.

The dinner started and small talk was made. She refused to make eye contact with him. He understood that. Perhaps, he was mistaken he realized, that perhaps she wasn't as good as she used to be. Her mood seemed to have shifted upon his arrival, as she abandoned her chitchat with Balinor and was currently staring at her food.

Merlin took it upon himself to keep his parents from noticing the change of her frame of mind.

But as Balinor mentioned the name kilgharrah, her head shut up.

He held his breath at his father's words.

"He's been acting rather strangely as of late. I have no idea what has gotten into him..."

Morgana abandoned her fork "When did that started?"

"Almost two weeks now." He answered. "It started so suddenly...Something about the balance of the world being altered. The destiny being distorted by dark magic."

"Both dragons or simply kilgharrah?" Merlin asked, anxiously. He leaned forward.

His father scowled. "Both dragons? Son, kilgharrah is the last of his kin."

The color drained from Morgana's face. "What do you mean by the last? There is Aithusa. She…"

When Balinor scowl deepened, she snapped her mouth shut.

"If you'll excuse me." She wiped her mouth and made an attempt to stand up. "I need a bit of fresh air."

"But you haven't finished your diner." Hunith frowned.

All eyes were on her, she didn't pray them any attention. She clenched hard the napkin. Her knuckles turned white then took a deep breath.

"I need fresh air…"she repeated, a bit breathless.

She ignored them, turned around. She all but flung the house.

She didn't know where she was going. Her legs steering her far away from the house as possible before she could no longer walk. She gasped and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Aithusa!" She gasped; the word came out in a whisper.

Her mind was blank and she could only think about what Balinor had said and the true implication of his spoken words.

She wasn't a dragon lady and she didn't possess the gift even if she was caring a dragon lord. But that didn't stop her from trying.

"Aithusa." She cried out again. This time louder. Stronger.

"Morgana." She abruptly turned around and came face to face with Merlin.

Morgana didn't know what came over her all of the sudden.

She launched herself at him.

. .:.

It took him by surprise and he almost fell backward.

"You..." she advanced on him. "Summon her...at once." It sounded like a plea to him.

He refused to believe that.

Merlin knew who she meant by 'her'...he stood still though; he didn't even flinch when she stopped, perhaps with a mere foot or two separating them.

To be honest, he knew she was hurting. Her eyes were puffy, her lips trembling. She was gasping. She was withholding her tears. He could see it, he could tell that the news-the possibility that Aithusa may not exist in that world seemed to have a drastic effect in Morgana.

"I can't." He said, his voice steady, sharp. Somehow he didn't bring himself to care either.

Morgana had used the white dragon. In her schemes against them. She used her to create the sword that had eventually led to Arthur's unhealable wound. To his death.

"I cannot." He told her again, he rubbed his temple.

She jabbed him in the chest. "Try, Merlin." She yelled. "Try dammit."

His eyes glared at her. "I can't. Even if I could, I won't."

"What?" Her heart skipped a beat.

Merlin sighed. "I'm not a dragon lord."

She rolled her eyes. "Then tell your father to summon her, surely he can…"

He shook his head. "Aithusa will not respond…"

She rubbed her face "what does that mean…I..."

Merlin inhaled deeply, glanced upward then slowly looked back at her, exhaling. "I fear that you might try to harm Arthur or Gwen and even…"

She scowled; she crossed her arms over her chest, in a defensive way. "How is that related to Aithusa?"

"It has everything to do with her." He answered, harshly.

Morgana scoffed, realizing that he was simply wasting her time. "Balinor might be more of help than you…" she said as she started toward the house but Merlin grabbed her forearm, stopping her and forcing her to stand in front of him.

She began to protest.

"I can't let that happened…"

She struggled to free herself only to feel his grip tightened. "I told you to never touch me again."

He eyed her closely "I will not let you hurt anyone…not again." He brushed off her threat with a shrug.

"There is nothing you could do to stop me." She menaced with tone laced with venom.

"Killing you will." He freed her.

At first she laughed at him, it was only when she realized that he was serious with his statement that her laughter died. She distanced herself from him by taking a step back.

"You wouldn't do that." She swallowed thickly, shocked.

"Why?" he asked and smirked when she looked at her abdomen and up back at him. "because you are with a child?"

"Is it not an enough reason?"

"It's not…because I don't care"

Her eyes widened. "You would kill an innocent child?"

He bit on his bottom lip before he replied. "the fact that it is yours Morgana makes it easier for me to hate…I mean to have you as its mother, I can't help but think that when it grows up, raised by you, brought up with your hatred and your madness surrounding it, that it'll be just another danger against the people I care about."

"Even if it is your own flesh and blood?"

"It is no child of mine" she stared at him, horrified.

"How dare you accuse me of unfaithfulness?" she slapped him.

"I did no such thing" When he realized his slip, he explained, rubbing his cheek. "I merely meant that I would never have a child with someone like you."

"Of course you wouldn't. I'm the lady Morgana and you are nothing but a servant."

If Morgana was trying to insult him with what she said, then she was mistaken. He served Arthur- the once of future king. If anything Merlin was proud of his humbled and low title.

It wasn't an insult, it was a compliment.

He didn't say anything and Morgana as a sign of vulnerability.

"You will never do anything to harm me." Her hand went to rest on her stomach.

"I've done it before; you honestly think I won't do it again." He countered.

"No. I know so."

He smiled. "Then you are indeed a fool."

Morgana snickered, shaking her head at him. "There is nothing you can do to stop from taking what is mine."

"Enough with this nonsense, Morgana. Camelot is not yours to take. The throne doesn't belong to you."

"Yes it does." She snapped, angrily "Trust me Merlin, I'll have it by any means possible and I will rip Arthur's heart out before you to just see how serious I'm."

Another intimidation. Another sigh. "I can't let you do that.."

Morgana fought the urge to roll her eyes, huffing. "You keep uttering those words, Merlin. If you are true to your word then stop me…kill me…prove it."

And he did. Almost instantly.

Unlike what had happened earlier, Merlin, this time, was in complete control of his emotions and senses and he knew preciously what he was doing and to whom.

Merlin made a fist and her throat closed up.

Before him, Morgana fell to her knees, gasping for air.

Morgana lifted her hand to defend herself but he clenched his hand harder. She felt as if her throat was being crushed. Her hand shut up to her neck, absently.

"You...You're...hurt…hurting me."

"good." He stated and crouched next to her, observing her with indifference as she struggled to breathe.

"If you wish to see Aithusa again, you'll do as I say. You will not attempt anything against Arthur, his family or Camelot. Do you understand?"

Morgana nodded.

He wasn't satisfied with that he pressed. "Say it."

"I do..."

He ended the spell and Morgana started to massage her aching neck.

He straightened his shoulders and stood up, looking down at her. "We'll head back inside the house. Act as normal as you can. Tomorrow, you will tell my father that you had a vision about Aithusa and I'll inform you of what you need to say to him after they retire for the night."

"you sound like Emrys…"

He sighed. "I'm Emrys."

He left her on the ground.

It had been only when he had been left with his thoughts, had he finally realized that Morgana had been right in her assumption and he really couldn't hurt her while she was with child. But after what he'd done prior to the dinner, he understood that Morgana feared him on so many levels. That she seemed to be forgetting that he was Emrys even if he wasn't using the aging spell. Deep down Merlin and Emrys were the same. All she needed was a reminder and that exactly what he had given her.

Walking toward the house, he clenched his hand tightly, hoping that it would stop trembling by the time he reached his parents.


	11. Chapter 11

“Don’t you need the triskelion?” Morgana asked from her seat, hands folded in her lap as Merlin finished telling her about his adventure to free Aithusa.  
Taking a quick inhale of breath, Merlin rubbed his chin, thoughtfully. “Maybe…it’s required in order to enter the locked chamber.” He explained.  
“I thought it was a trap…” Morgana reminded him.  
“It’s both.” Merlin replied absently. He seemed distracted as if he was contemplating something important.  
Annoyed that he was clearly ignoring her, Morgana pressed her lips together before she spoke again. “Well if the trap is obviously trigged by the triskelion, you can always blow up the entrance.”   
Hearing what she said, Merlin’s head shut up. “It’s a possibility, but it might not be a safe move as well. I simply cannot take such risk.”  
Morgana rolled her eyes, standing up. “Then what must be done?”  
He followed her with his eyes. “I must see if the third part still lies in the vaults of Camelot. I need to make sure that Borden had not…”  
“More time will be wasted in vain as result.” She placed her hands on her hips as she looked down at him. “You don’t have the triskelion; however you know how to find the egg. The only problem you are facing is the way to get inside the chamber and I already offered you a perfect solution.” She spoke very fast, agitated. “You get inside, blow up an entrance anywhere as long as it is far from the trap just to be safe, get the egg and leave before you get smashed by the falling boulders.” She inhaled deeply once she finished.  
Merlin watched her, amazed. Then he shook his head. “It’s not that easy…”  
She inched closer. “Trust me, it is.”  
Merlin smiled and his eyebrows quirking upward. “Trust you?” his tone was laced with mockery.   
She fought the urge to roll her eyes once again. “Considering that you were the one how betrayed my trust first by not admitting that you have magic, I assume it’s safe to say that it is I who shouldn’t trust you.”  
His lips parted but Morgana spoke again. “Can we delay this conversation? Postpone it for another time. You already tried to kill me twice today; I don’t think I can’t take yet another attack.”  
“Are you confessing your weakness?” His mouth closed upon hearing her words and he grinned.  
“I was never a match to your powers, Emrys.” She answered quickly.  
A tremor ran down his spine upon hearing the name the druids had given him. He didn’t let it affected him for long.  
“Yes, you were.” He paused, shaking his head. “You simply couldn’t kill me before I managed to stop you.”  
Her face fell, instantly. “Ah…” she breathed out. “Yeah...” she nodded her head slowly. “I couldn’t kill you…” she whispered but Merlin heard her clearly. She looked down.  
Somehow her feet becoming rather interesting for her, she started at them.   
Merlin frowned and stood up. Hearing him get to his fee, Morgana stepped backward “I couldn’t…kill you” she breathed, peering up, her eyes on Merlin, she couldn’t meet his gaze for long; she looked away, swallowing thickly.   
“What should I tell your father…about the vision? What should I say?” She made her way back to her armchair. It was obvious that she was trying to alter the subject, he didn’t mind.  
They continued to speak about their plan for tomorrow until light of the candles almost faded away threatening to drown them in the dimness of the night.  
“Is really it necessary to wait until the morning comes?”   
“Why?”   
Morgana shrugged her shoulders. “Well, it’s a vision about a lost dragon egg, wouldn’t be questionable if I were to wait until the morning to inform your father?” she reasoned, and Merlin narrowed his eyes, considering her words.  
“No. we wait, there is no need to wake my father at this hour…”  
Morgana grunted, fidgeting with her fingers. “Fine.”  
From his place, Merlin titled his head. “For something you had no problem torturing Morgana, you seem quite eager to free Aithusa.”  
“Torture Aithusa?” she scowled “What are you speaking of Merlin?”  
He snickered, shaking his head. “There is no point denying it. I’ve seen what you have done to her.”   
Morgana huffed a bit, laced with indignation. “Are you serious? You honestly think that I might do such thing to her?”  
“You held her captive, she was bloodied, wounded. What else should I assume?” he countered   
She looked offended “You mean…” she trailed off, suddenly.   
“Oh” she breathed out then she laughed a harsh, painful and mirthless sound. “I supposed the news of the capture of high priestess is far more important than imprisonment of a dragon.”   
Sitting forward, he frowned. “Captive? When? I...” he stammered unable to form a proper sentence.  
“While you wasted your time running around, finishing your errands and cleaning stables for Arthur, too busy being his loyal servant, she was suffering and unlike you I was there for her.  
I tried my best to heal her and ease her pain…for two years…” she bit out, feeling strength flowing back into her body and bonding with cold, sad n anger she had been holding onto throughout the night. “In the bottom of a pit . . . chained both of us. Unlike you Merlin, when someone saves my life, I return the favour by being there for them not by poising them.”  
Merlin flinched, as though physically struck, but stood his ground. He sinks into the bed, and watched as Morgana got to her feet.  
“I didn’t know” he managed and he heard her snort.  
“Of course you didn’t. You must have been happy knowing that the Sarum was able to apprehensive me, you didn’t bother with anything else.”  
“I didn’t know…” he breathed out again. He didn’t really know. Not of her capture or of Aithusa’s.  
She was gone by the time he realized something.   
A half a sob escaped him, and he really didn’t know what to do.  
If two years had done havoc on Aithusa, what could have the Sarum done to Morgana?   
………………………………………………………………………………………..  
Morgana had chosen to remain in the comfort of her chambers and the quiet it offered. Standing by the opened window, she was yet to shift her gaze away the blue sky. Her eyes were still staring at the horizon.  
Merlin and Balinor had not been gone for long now. She doubted that they would be returning anytime soon. She sighed forlornly.  
The sun was slowly making its way toward the centre of the sky. Morgana closed her eyes soaking in the warmth of the sunrays filtering through the window.  
The fear of Aithusa being forever lost was building up inside of her. It made it harder for her to breath. Her stomach was churning, something that the child growing inside had no responsibility for.  
“Morgana.” A voice came suddenly from behind, starling her. Her eyes flickered open and she span around. She must have been deep in thought t that she had missed the sound of the door opening.   
Hunith stood before her not far away. She was giving her a sympathetic look. Morgana wondered why.   
“Breakfast is ready…would you like to join me at the dining room or should I fetch it here for you?”  
Eating was the last thing on her mind. With anxiety filling her and making her a bit dizzy, she was not feeling up to do anything; she didn’t think she’d be able to keep food in her belly.  
Morgana shook her head. “Thank you, Hunith.” She gently declined the offer. “But I’m not hungry.”  
The older woman, though she looked unconvinced, nodded her head. For a brief moment, Morgana assumed that after what she had said, she would be left alone with her fears and worries. No such thing happened as the older woman walked to her and stood by her side, her hands on the window’s frame. She glimpsed outside then she turned fully to face Morgana.  
“I remember when I was like you. This far while carrying Merlin. I was hungry all the time...”  
Morgana frowned. “Perhaps, it’s different with me.”  
Hunith just smiled. “Perhaps it is.”   
Once again Hunith lingered beside Morgana and the latter didn’t understood how she should be acting around her.   
“You needn’t to worry Morgana.” The statement made the woman in question pause and stare at Hunith.  
How could she have known that she was worried? Did she appear so the older woman?  
“I am not.” The high priestess protested.  
Hunith lifted her eyebrows. “Then why are you sulking…”  
Morgana’s jaw dropped. “I am merely taking pleasure in watching the view outside.”  
Hunith snorted as her eyes scanned ‘the view’ that Morgana had claimed to take interest in. “I am certain you have seen better.”  
Morgana affirmatively nodded her head. “I have…” She hesitated before adding. “This place is much calmer…helps me think.”   
Bewildered by that, Hunith scowled. She reached out her hands and clasped them in Morgana’s. “Tell me what is on your mind, dear?” Morgana flinched at the contact.   
Hunith, of course noticed that and the playfulness Merlin’s mother’s tone had held ever since she had entered the room, fluttered. Confusion watched over her features.  
“Nothing of great importance...” Morgana squeezed Hunith’s hands.  
An assuring gesture. With a smile her face. And Hunith’s puzzlement eased as her expression softened. Yet she remained reluctant, eyeing Morgana cautiously. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” she pressed on, good-heartedly.  
This time, Morgana pulled away, her hands fell by her sides. She sighed, avoiding locking gaze with her.  
The lack of answer on Morgana’s behalf made Hunith’s eyes narrow.  
“You do not look well, Morgana. What is the matter?”  
“Just exhausted…”  
Hunith, alarmed, grabbed Morgana’s hand once again. However, this time she let her toward the direction of the bed. “Then you mustn’t be on your feet. Come.” She scolded her. “Sit” with her hands placed, now on her the high priestess shoulders; Hunith eased the expecting mother down onto the mattress.  
“Hunith…” Morgana growled and with her right hand she rubbed her eyes. The other woman misinterpreted the action as a sign of lack of sleep.  
“You did not sleep well” she started to rearrange the pillows. A hand grabbed her. Roles reversed. Hunith peered up, halted. Putting an end to her frantic actions.   
“I slept well...” Morgana said. Under the stern look she was receiving from Hunith, she added nervously. “…Well enough.”  
“But you just said that you were exhausted.” Hunith countered.  
Absently, Morgana’s eyes darted to her own midsection, her hand resting on it. Hunith followed her gaze.   
Morgana felt the bed dip down slightly. She looked up, Hunith was supressing a smirk. Her eyes were gentle as she looked back at her with something that she couldn’t quite distinguish.   
“Keeping you restless, huh?” Hunith said, before she placed her hand on top of Morgana, the one resting against her belly. “…like its father.” The older woman chuckled.  
A tremor ran down her spine at the mention of the child’s paternity. Morgana gulped and looked away.   
She cleared her throat. “I am certain that all unborn children take pleasure in their mother’s discomfort. I hardly think that Merlin’s spawn would make any difference.”   
Hunith patted Morgana’s hand before she withdrew it. Yet her eyes remained glued at the swollen stomach “Though, I doubt that they would light up every single candle in the room, either.”   
Morgana stilled. What on earth was Hunith speaking of?  
Her puzzlement went unnoticed as the other women continued to mumble to her. “It must have been quite dark for him inside. Why else would Merlin do such thing?”  
Had she not been too shocked by what she’d heard, Morgana would have found it quite amusing to see Hunith talk to herself.  
“Uhm! Yes” Morgana stammered, nodding her head. Then she started to shake her head, realization hitting her. “I am sorry...” She must have heard wrong, because it sounded like Hunith had said… “Merlin’s magic magnified since he’d been in your womb.”  
She got a nod as response.  
“Before he was born?” just to be more certain and accurate. Her heart skipped a bit as Hunith hummed a ‘yes’.   
“You were unaware of that?” the woman inquired with scowl.  
Morgana blurred out “No…I mean yes.” Hunith gave her a side away look.  
She must have sounded mad to the other lady’s ears.  
Morgana decided to be honest. “I knew he was born with magic.” She shrugged. “But from womb?” she growled, her voice rose an octave.  
Hunith stared at her. An undefined emotion washing over her features but it quickly faded away before Morgana knew what it was. Suspicion? Apprehension?  
Hunith seemed to be deep in thought.   
Fearing that she might have committed a mistake by confessing something that the other Morgana might have knowledge of, Morgana swallowed hard.   
How would she amend this?  
“Is it strange?” she found herself asking, she might try another approach.  
“Strange?” Hunith wondered.  
“That he didn’t mention this fact about his life to me?” For now, she would feign ignorance. She’d tell Merlin about this conversation, in case his mother confronted him about it.   
But the latter’s face fell, she looked sad. “That he forgot to tell his wife?” she nodded “A bit… yes. But it is understandable.” She sighed.  
The sorceress furrowed her brow. “I don’t get it…”  
Hunith inhaled deeply, she gnawed on her bottom lip. “How did you feel when you first leaned about your magic?”  
Morgana’s mind quickly played that particular moment before her eyes. Old feelings, she buried deep resurfaced.   
Her eyes tears up. “Scared…” she trailed off, “and alone.” She blamed Merlin for that.  
“But those feelings didn’t last long, yes?” Hunith, Morgana assumed, was referring to her son.  
“That’s correct.” Morgause had helped her get rid of them. Satisfied with that answer, Hunith continued, her tone low.   
“How do you reckon a child who was yet to learn how to speak and talk, would have felt if confronted in such situation?”  
Her lips parted…no words came out. No response to offer the woman and Morgana realized that she couldn’t find the right words to say.   
She scowled. “I don’t…don’t know.” She managed to say.   
Because that was the reality. That was the truth…   
“It must have been hard to raise him?”  
Hunith let a soft laugh. It was bitter. “Yes. It was...I think you can say… But we managed. He did.”  
She added the last bit in a whisper that almost did not reach Morgana.  
“Sometimes…I fear that I might not have done right by him.” Hunith confessed her eyes downcast.  
“That is absurd, Hunith. You’re…” she didn’t finish. Hunith peered up. Her eyes filled with unshed tears.  
“I never gave him what Gaius offered him. Or what he’d offered you and what I know that you and Merlin will give your child.”  
“What is that?”  
“Comfort. The knowledge that he was not alone. That things will get better.” Her voice quivered as she spoke.  
Those were things she had sought after discovering her magic. Things Morgana had craved.  
Something inside of her broke. Her mind going through the periods of time through her life before finding Morgause and after losing her sister, she drew in a careful breath that hurt.  
If there were anyone that could relate to his situation, it had been Morgana, then why did he not ease her mind? Why did he choose silence over the truth? Why..?  
She cried….feelings that had been building up could no longer be contained…and arms enveloped her, holding her closer.  
In spite of herself, she asked. “What if he never told me? If I never knew the truth? What if I ….” she sobbed and the embrace tightened. “What if things happened differently?”  
What if he was fated to kill me? Morgana restrained herself from saying that. She buried her head deep in the crook of Hunith’s neck.  
The hug broke; Morgana pulled her up and looked away. But Hunith cupped her face. Morgana glanced at her face. She was crying as well. Her eyes were not sad, but determined.   
“Now listen to me…it does not matter how you got here. I know my son and I know you. You are meant for each other. Alright?”  
Morgana did not know if she should laugh or cry after hearing that. Tears continued to fall freely. She sniffed. “Alright.”  
“I made you cry.” Hunith wiped away the tears that strained Morgana’s face.   
“And I you.”   
It had been a while since she was able to speak this freely, to show emotion. To display weakness without fear. As she sat next to Hunith, she felt since a long time, free, light, unbothered by the heavy weight placed upon her delicate shoulders; her sister’s last will.  
The original plan had been to free Camelot of Uther’s unfairness, to bring magic back. It had somehow become a contest for power, for the throne. She had entered a war with no winner.  
No victory. Just lost.  
Hunith jumped to her feet, so quickly, it took Morgana by surprise. “I know just the thing to light up our mood?” she took a deep breath. “Food.” Her eyes brightened up. Morgana laughed and got up.  
“Now come. You’ll thank me later.”   
Well, to be honest, she was hungry. Morgana thought as she followed Hunith.  
………………………………………………………….  
They were standing next to each other, watching as the castle fell into wreck, until nothing was left standing.  
His father, holding the egg safely in his arms, glanced at merlin with raised eyebrows. “Are you certain that it was Morgana who had the vision and not you?”  
Taken aback, Merlin’s brow frowned, he cleared his throat. “Why?”  
Balinor shrugged, nonchalantly. You seem fairly familiar with this place; you knew where to go and how to find the egg.” His father explained and Merlin chuckled nervously.  
“The vision was quite clear. We simply got lucky.”  
Balinor nodded, glancing away from the fallen castle at the weight his hands were currently carrying.  
“We should leave. I’ll summon kilgharrah…he’ll tell us what to do with it…”   
………………………………………………………  
By the time they returned home, he found Morgana outside, waiting impatiently for them.  
“Where is she?” she asked once she reached them and Balinor held out his hand, showing the white egg. She paused, staring down at it.  
“Merlin insisted that we wait until we comeback before hatching the egg. He said that you’d be …” he was cut off by his son.  
“No one should miss this. You’ll enjoy it immensely.” He said gently.  
Morgana turned to face him, fighting back happy tears that formed in her eyes.  
Wrapping merlin up in her arms, she murmured a thank you as she rested her head on his shoulder.  
He couldn’t help but smile, and hugged her back.  
………………………………………………………..  
…………………………………  
They had spent two more days in Ealdore and as much as he had liked to stay longer, Merlin knew that there were more important things to attend to. Saying goodbye to his parents had been heart wrenching but he had swallowed thickly the lump of feelings that formed in his throat and ascended the carriage. With a heavy aching heart, he had taken once last glance at them before he had finally settled down at the stool facing Morgana.  
Their journey back home began.  
Almost half a day had gone by and the two occupants of the small space were yet to acknowledge the presence of one another.   
While Morgana stared blankly at the nature they passed, Merlin was staring at her, unable to gaze away. He heard her sigh and he refocused his attention on the face of the woman who had been there for his white dragon, the woman who had done what should have been his duty. He wanted to thank her. He was not sure how to.  
“I don’t wish to return to Camelot” Morgana cut into the silence, her eyes remained fixed, gazing outside of the window as she spoke.  
“Why?”  
“Because it’s what we both want…” she turned her head to face him. “We both know that you don’t care about what happens to me” she sighed. “You made it perfectly clear that you bore no feelings toward this child and I have no intention in remaining in that Castle and do nothing but pretend that…”she trailed off, clearing her throat. “I shall be doing both of us a favor.”   
For a while, he didn’t say anything. He watched her closely, it seemed to him that Morgana, even though she had spoken with confidence, she looked reluctant about her decision and if it weren’t for the uncertainty glowing in her eyes, he almost believed her. Almost.  
What she had said, seemed like a great idea, something he couldn’t deny because that was what had wanted since the day he had woken up to find her sleeping next to him on the same bed.   
But, now, there was a lot at risk.  
How would he explain her sudden and unexpected disappearance to Arthur and the rest?  
Furthermore, there was the dilemma of the child currently growing inside of Morgana that he needed to consider.  
Though, he might have told Morgana that he held no interest toward the child, he had been simply lying to prove a point. And now, even though he couldn’t blame her, Morgana had believed his words and was now reminding him of what he’d told her.   
“Where will you go?” he asked with indifference, trying his best to appear not taken aback by her choice.  
“Somewhere...” she shrugged. “Anywhere…I’m certain we can find shelter, a place to live.”  
He stilled, his eyes fixed on her swollen stomach and he cleared his throat. When he peered up she was staring at him and there was something in her eyes he couldn’t decipher. Never could.  
Heart thudding, Merlin held his breath.   
The idea of being distant from his child was unbarring. He didn’t wish for it to relive the sufferance Merlin had gone through growing without a father. Truth to be told he simply couldn’t trust Morgana.  
One good deed wouldn’t make up for all the wrongs she had made and with that thought in mind, he sat forward.  
“And I should trust that you to stay away from Camelot?”  
Morgana straightened her shoulders. “I give you my word, Merlin. You will never lay your eyes on me again if you let me go now.”  
His heart ached as his mind struggled to find a something that might change her mind.  
“What should I tell the others?” he inquired, with raised eyebrows.  
Morgana breathed out, leaning once again back against the bench, and she smirked. She had not spoken yet, but he had a tingling felling upon seeing her smirk that he wouldn’t like what she would tell him.  
“I quite sure that it will not be hard for you to come up with something…After all you are a great liar.”  
Glaring at her, Merlin snorted.   
Suddenly, the carriage jolted then came into a halt.  
Sharing an alerted look, Merlin mumbled ‘stay here’ and Morgana nodded her head.  
He opened the door of the carriage, reading himself to descend it when he noticed that Morgana was following him.  
“Stay here” he ordered. Morgana rolled her eyes and flopped back on the stool but once the small door was closed, she inched closer to the window watching as Merlin and their driver conversed.   
…………………………………………………..   
“What happened?” Merlin found the driver already on the ground checking the horses trying to find the cause of their accident.  
The man shrugged absently, his brow frowned. “I don’t know Sire. Something scared the horses. ”  
“Snakes?” Merlin wondered and once again the man was of no help as he shrugged his shoulders.  
“Did you see anything?” Merlin asked, going around the carriage to examine the road they had passed.   
Following the trail the carriage had left on the ground, Merlin and the driver searched for any trace of serpents. He found none.   
“No. Sire. But…” He never managed to finish as uproar was heard and group of bandits attacked them.  
Using his magic Merlin was able to throw back two of the attackers. The sound of the neighing horses took him by surprise, realizing that he had left Morgana alone in the buggy, Merlin spun around to watch with utter horror as it sped forward. One of the bandits driving, taking Morgana along with it.  
“NO.” Merlin cried out.  
“Do not worry, Emrys. I shall take good care of her.”  
He instantly recognized that voice. His blood ran cold and he slowly turned around facing its owner.  
She stepped forward and he stepped back. He was outnumbered and was very much aware of the men surrounding him and gradually forming a circle around him.  
She smirked and his heart skipped a beat.  
“Morgause…” he breathed out.


	12. Chapter 12

The whole buggy was jolting and jerking, while she tried her best to avoid being tossed from side to side of the carriage. She clung to her seat, tightly.

The ride was long, exhausting and frightening.

When the buggy stopped she froze in her bench, did not move or even make a sound. She simply waited for whoever brought there to come and collect her.

Time passed. No one came.

She knew it was not Merlin who had been steering the horses. Morgana had caught a sight of him, running after her shortly after the carriage had begun to move frantically.

She took a deep breath, deciding to leave the small space. She felt somehow trapped in there waiting for her abductor.

Her chest rose and fell hastily. Morgana took yet another heavy breath.

Hands trembling, she reached for the small knob. Pushing the door open, she slowly and tentatively descended the small steps.

No one was there to greet her. She allowed a breath of relief to escape her lips.

Morgana glanced around her. She could see nothing that might inform her of her possible whereabouts.

She was aware that she was no longer in the woods. She found herself surrounded by gray walls, a small door located to her left. Once she spotted it, started toward it.

Footsteps sounded from behind that entrance and Morgana quickly span around and darted back to her buggy. Its door snapped shut, abruptly. She warped her hand around the handle and struggled to get it opened. She failed to do so. Breathlessly, she paused in her attempts, trying to catch her breath. She took one glance behind her then repeated her unsuccessful attempt to enter the carriage.

She started to panic and knew that losing her grip would serve at nothing.

She had to face them. She slowly turned around, and swallowed thickly at the sight that greeted her.

Uttering a spell, she waited impatiently for its effect to take place. Much to her dismay, nothing happened.

She tried again, and again and again…still they continued to circle her.

Her stomach churned, as she looked on either side of her as if she had a possible escape.

A memory of her capture by the Sarrum flashed gradually before her watery eyes.

Her heart pounded heavily against her chest, she clutched the fabric of her dress tightly, the other hand pressed protectively against her abdomen.

"Keep away from me." she managed barely.

A collective smirk was her answer. Another step the bandits took toward her.

She didn't like that one bit. Her back was pressed against the wooden side of the carriage. With her elbow she continued to hit the door. Still, she had a slight hope that she might be able to get through.

Hands grasped either way of her arms and without even meaning to, she began to struggle.

She was well aware that such attempt was nothing but a waste of her breath. Soon she knew that she would be able to fight no more. The grip they had on her tightened, she screamed in pain.

They didn't seem to be affected nor did they bother to loosen their hold on her.

Pain made her angry. Pain motivated her. It was the only thing that kept her sane and moving for years.

Yet, before she even had the opportunity to muster what was left of her remaining energy to try another shot at attacking, she felt a hand rest on her head.

She tried to no vain to shove it away but it lingered there. The unmistakable sound of a spell being cast upon her reached her ears.

"Stop, please." She pleaded, her voice wavering and soon it grew fainter as darkness fell over her soon after the spell was completed. Reality slipped away as she fell from the world.

A true nightmare, that she somehow knew wouldn't case upon her awakening.

She woke up with a start to find that she was drowning in utter darkness. She could see nothing not, even her hands. Not even where she had been place in.

Had it all been a dream? Had it all been a disturbing sight of a future that was yet to come?

A thought formed in her mind and she momentarily ceased to breathe.

What if it was? What if she had never escaped the Sarum? What if she was still his prisoner? All that she had lived and all that she had seen had been nothing but a vision? Of what awaited her.

"Aithusa?" her voice raw. She closed her eyes and waited for the usual heart-wrenching whine she used to get from the poor and ill-fated dragon. She heard nothing.

She screamed her name and received utter silence as her response.

Morgana shook her head, her lips releasing a low "no". Tears burned the side of her eyes, inadvertently; she tried to wipe them away.

It was then that she released that her hands were free. And that she was unchained to the wall.

She instantly began her search for Aithusa. However all her hands were able to reach were the stoned walls of her prison cell and thin air. Although, it pained her to admit that there was no trace of her dragon when she didn't come cross her rough and morphed skin. Her head inclined up.

What if she was taken? What if the Sarrum moved her? Where could he have possibly taken her?

"Aithusa." She yelled louder. Perhaps the beast would hear her; perhaps she would come to her rescue.

It was wishful thinking and she was content with what she had at that moment, even if it wasn't enough.

She was snapped from her thoughts when, this time, she got an answer.

It startled her at first and made her jerk backward.

"Quiet." A loud throb came from somewhere in the dark. An impact came as result of metal colliding with metal. She gingerly inched toward the sound.

The darkness was an inconvenience. Fearing that she might stumble and fall and as an outcome, she might end up harming herself or the child within her, she had her back against the wall and moved alongside with it while she slammed her palm against it. She continued to do both simultaneously until her hand hit steel and that was when she knew that she had reached the door of her imprisonment. She smacked twice and received an angry 'enough' from the other side.

So she had been mistaken. She was not in that pit of the well where she had been kept by the Sarum. But she was indeed being held captive by another person. Someone that used people with magic.

Such idea filled her with slight relief. Faint noise sounded from behind the door, Morgana rested her ear against it.

"…asked to be informed once she was awake. I'll send someone to inform her."

Her?

Who that might be? The person responsible for her current situation was a woman?

She closed her eyes momentarily and tried to use her magic and just like what had happened the previous time, it didn't work. There was something in that place that blocked her magic.

Without any windows and light, there wasn't much that she could do to find the source. She sat on the cold floor and leaned against the wall. For what she heard, she would soon know who was behind all of that.

Footsteps grew loud before fading off as the sound of the door opening could be heard. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. Each muscle in her body rigid and tense with anticipation of an event she was not aware of yet. The child too moved within her, his movements were sluggish and so light; she started to rub her stomach in hopes of soothing him. Suddenly, as if the sun itself had been brought into wherever she was, a luminance so bright burned past her eyelids that she was forced to blink. Through the glare of some horrid light, she saw the outline of figures standing before me. Then slowly, as her eyes began to adjust, but only enough that they did not water in agony but squint in discomfort, she finally could see two men dressed in similar way to those who had taken her there.

She could only see their eyes, their faces were covered. It made her wonder for what purpose was that measure was needed.

They took out of her cell and walked beside her. Each one of them grasping a hand as they practically dragged her. The way to their destination was long and winding. Though she tried, it was near impossible to memorize, especially when the two men blocked the view from each side and had to force her to keep moving whenever she spotted a door or stairs.

When her escort finally came to a stop, Morgana realized that escaping wasn't an option for her.

Two more bandits, they stood by an opened door as if they knew that she was coming.

"She is waiting for her." One of the men that stood in front of her, said.

Their walk was resumed and she was taken inside.

She felt her before her eyes spotted her. Her blood ran cold.

Morgana didn't see her immediately, what she saw upon entering the room was a group of men standing, surrounding someone she couldn't make out clearly.

When she was stopped few feet away, they moved apart, clearing the way for her to see who had been behind the bandits.

Though she was facing her, Morgana refused to believe it. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and then reopened them. Yet she was still sanding before her.

She cleared her throat. Her lips trembled and she bit hard on her bottom one to stop the shaking.

Morgana was astounded that she could not move or say anything.

One thought, however, seemed to take over.

At last, there was something, here, in this life for her.

Morgause was alive. Her sister was alive.

She repeated those four words over and over as she fought the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes.

The unexpected and sudden sight of her sister caused her to forget completely where she had spent the last day.

For two long horrendous weeks, she had to bare the constant presence of Arthur in her life, seeing him on regular basis. But now things would change for her. She could almost feel it.

Luck had found her once again. Morgana thought to herself with amusement.

While she stared speechlessly, yet lovingly at someone she had lost more than four years ago, Morgause displayed anger as she glared at her sister.

"I apologize if these accommodations do not meet your standards." Morgause nodded toward the two men standing fairly close to her and they backed away one pace.

Morgause stood from her throne.

Morgana frowned, not quite understanding the meaning behind her sister's words. She could not say anything. She couldn't trust her voice to ask what she was trying to tell her.

"You seem surprised." Morgause added, cruelly, mistakenly deeming Morgana's silence as a sign of fear and shock.

Morgana nodded her head, still unable to speak.

"It has been two years since we last saw each other…" Morgause carried on. With each step she took forward, Morgana's heart cringed.

Tried to meet her sister in the middle, Morgana stepped in but hands suddenly yanked her backward. She yelped.

"Leave her." Morgause commended.

Morgana shrugged off their invasive hands and continued toward her sister. But she stopped briefly and she glanced back at them. Vowing secretly that they would pay for what they had just done. Her sister would certainly make sure of it.

When she looked back, her eyes locked gaze with her sister's. And for the first time ever she was brought in this room, she was able to see what was really occurring around her.

She paused, and then slowly took a step backwards.

"Why am I being kept in a cell?" she asked.

Morgause seemed genuinely surprised by that question, she tilted her head. "Where else would you like to be?"

She didn't answer; Morgana took her time to look at her surroundings. The men that circled her, her sister. The whole situation unfolding before her eyes.

She was prisoner; she had been taken captive by her own sister. It was becoming clearer to her…well not quite, she didn't understand what was happening to her at that moment. She didn't understand why her sister was talking and treating her that way.

"What do you want of me?" her voice shook a bit.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" she echoed, bewildered. "Then for what reason did you bring me here?"

She smirked. Morgana felt sick. "Worry not. You will know soon enough."

"If your plan is to lure Arthur here…" she began but Morgause laughed at her.

"Don't be stupid Morgana. If it was Arthur that I needed, I would not have wasted my time on you."

"Yet here I am." Morgana countered, crossing her arms over her chest.

Morgause somehow found what her sister had just said amusing because she smiled. Morgana tried not to look taken aback by that, she kept straight face. "If you really didn't need me, then you would not have bothered to bring me her. So enough with the lies, Morgause, what is it that you after?"

Morgause let out a throaty laugh; it sent shivers down Morgana's spine. Something that didn't go unnoticed by her sister who walked closer to her, her hand rested against Morgana's cheek. She leaned in, closing her eyes. The warmth of the soft touch brought memories of her sister. She snapped out of it when Morgause move her hand. Morgana's eyes flickered open and swallowed thickly. Morgause had her back to her. Shoulders stiffened.

"Why are you doing this?" she found herself asking. "Taking my magic? Keeping me in a cell? I'm your sister. How could you…"

"Enough" Morgause roared, spinning around. "You tried to kill me-your own flesh and blood- you and that …" she gritted her teeth, her jaw tightened. "Emrys." She spat.

Kill her? That was impossible. It was a revolting and repulsive accusation. She would not dare to do such thing to her…Morgana paused in her line of thinking, recalling that in her time she had been the one that ended her sister's life.

But that was different, it wasn't her plan and Morgause had begged her to do it. To end her suffering.

So she shook her head, refusing to believe what Morgause words were indicating. "No. I would never do that to you."

"Stop lying, Morgana." She snapped. "We could have had it all. Instead you chose this…" she pointed toward her swollen belly. "You are weak. You could have been a queen."

Morgana didn't gave up , walked toward her and grasped Morgause's hands in hers. Movements sounded from behind her. Clearly her sister's followers were afraid she might try something, she didn't care. "We can still have that." Their eyes met, and she poured as much confident and honesty in her words so Morgause would believe her. But that didn't seem to affect her sister. She pulled away from Morgana, face red with anger. "Enough with the lies. There is nothing that you can say that would help you, Morgana. Nothing."

"No, you don't understand. I really want what you want. To be the queen. Arthur is not fit to be the king. The throne belongs to me."

Morgause stared at her as if she was considering her words. "Are you lying to me, Morgana?" She narrowed her eyes.

Morgana shook her head.

"Trust me. I am not. It is the truth. What happened is in the past. I've made a terrible mistake. I wish to redeem myself. You were right," she amended herself. "You are right. I see that now. Believe me, together, Camelot can and will be ours."

"And you are willing to prove that?"

"When should we start?" Morgana said with a smile. She was winning her sister back.

"And you would do anything to have the throne? You would do whatever is takes to become the queen?"

"Anything." She insisted.

Her sister lifted an eyebrow.

"You wouldn't object to the fate that awaits Arthur upon overthrowing him?"

She shrugged. "I would kill him myself if that would please you." she wouldn't deny that it would please her as well.

"And his wife and son?"

Morgana considered that for a while. Gwen had once betrayed her. Nevertheless, her death would certainly pain her. As for the son, the heir, he was young and innocent. He had done nothing for her hate him, she turned to her sister.

"Uther's blood runs through his veins. He will be a threat once he is of age. And I have no doubt that he will be his father's son. Sacrifices must be made and this circumstance is no different. Do what you wish of him."

Morgause continued to have this look in her eyes, she didn't quite believe her, as if she wanted to ,but somehow there was something holding her back. Morgana focused her attention back on the conversation as she heard her sister ask another question.

"What of the rest? Mordred and Emrys?"

"You do not have to worry about Morderd. He would not disobey me. I can persuade him to join us. "She replied "He certainly will not be a problem, he listens to me. Merlin, on the other had will be a problem. And he will not be an easy one. But if Arthur dies, then we will not have to worry about him." She was speaking, after all, out of experience. "You should focus your efforts on Arthur."

Morgause titled her head. "You seem so confident."

Of course she was. It had been her dream ever since she had known about her true parentage. She knew exactly how to handle this situation. Now, she knew what must be done.

"You still don't believe me." Morgana remarked upon reading her sister's facial expression;doubt.

"I wish I could." She sighed. "However, I know you, Morgana and I know how much you care about Arthur and both your families."

She couldn't afford to lose her sister. Especially that it wasn't her fault that had caused her to lose Morgause in the first place.

"I care only about Mordred and him alone. You can kill the rest for all I know and I will not care or shed a tear about them." She told her sternly. "I am willing to do whatever it takes for you to be absolutely certain of that truth."

"Really Morgana? Whatever it takes? Is that a promise you are willing to make?" Her voice was laced with derision.

"Yes." She scoffed. "If a proof is what you require in order for you to trust me, then tell how to amend your lack of trust. But stop taunting me."

"Very well." She looked over Morgana's shoulders toward her men. "Bring him in here."

Morgana frowned, she watched them retreat from the same door she had walked through . She looked at her sister "Bring who?"

"You will know once he is brought here." She coldly answered her. "Just know you brought this upon yourself."

Such threat made her heart skip a beat.

Footsteps came from the opposite direction of where the two sisters stood. Without thinking, Morgana looked around. To her utter shock, before her, dragged in between the two men that had just left, was Merlin.

She watched him, silently, unable to find the ability to move her legs. However, stare as I may, Merlin did not seem to take notice of her or even lift his head.

she glanced up meeting Morgause's eyes then back again to look at Merlin.

"Merlin." The name escaped quietly. Barely audible. Morgana didn't hesitate to try once again "Merlin!"

He finally raised his head up. She wished he hadn't. She barely recognized his features. Bruised, bloodied, his blue eyes met hers and she watched them go wide. As she had been, he too was obviously shocked to see her there.

His eyes darted between her and her sister. Back and forth. Then they froze to stare solely at her .As if something clicked in his mind, his own lips moved, forming words, but no sound left them.

It made her wonder what was going through his mind. What would he think seeing her with Morgause?

She glanced toward her sister. Morgause stood closer to her than the other figures did. When did she move from her spot? Her face expressionless, her lips pressed firmly together. From her expression, she could gather nothing. Not of what she was thinking. Not of what she planning. And perhaps that was what made that much more terrifying, knowing absolutely nothing. Yet knowing how cruel and ruthless her sister could be.

She wondered if Merlin had come for her rescue or just like her, he'd been captured by Morgause.

"What do you need of him?" Morgana asked her calmly. The steadiness of her voice surprised her.

Morgause shrugged and started to walk. She circled both Morgana and Merlin, and then she stopped once again before Morgana.

"You said you are willing to do anything to prove your loyalty to me…" she paused, gaze shifting to rest on Merlin and it stayed there. "Are you quite certain about that?"

"How many time, should I say it? Yes ." Without hesitation, Morgana replied.

Morgause looked up, the corners of her lips curved upward slightly, but it was far from a smile. She held out her hand. A knife in it.

"For what?" her voice, this time, failed her. It wavered, sounding meek. What was the matter with her?

"I reckon it is rather obvious, don't you think?" Morgause asked calmly.

Of course she knew. Yet, she feigned ignorance as she stared lengthily at the sharp weapon. "No, I do not"

Sneers gave out at her utterance. Morgana swallowed thickly.

Morgause glared at her men and they stopped immediately. She shifted her attention back at Merlin

Morgana ignored what had just happened; her eyes seemed to linger on the dagger.

"You want me to kill him." Morgana said, her sister nodded.

"Why?"

"Why not?" Morgause countered.

Morgana shrugged her shoulders, attempting to seem indifferent. "You have him. You can use him as leverage against Arthur. Killing him will be a grave mistake. He is of a great importance. If…" she was abruptly cut off.

"You are the only leverage I need, Morgana. If I have you, Camelot will sooner or later become ours." Morgause inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself. "It is what you want after all, is it not?"

Morgana crossed her arms over her chest, contemplating her sister's words. "Slicing his throat open will not suffice. I want him to suffer."

Morgause's head shut up at that, surprised. Confusion washed over her features. She arched an eyebrow. "What?"

"I want him to fell pain, unbearable agony. He must beg me to put an end to his suffering. I want him to witness as I take Camelot, become its queen. I want him to rot alongside with Arthur's dead body."

She smirked and looked down at him. Shakily, his arms extended forward, reaching out towards Morgana. His mouth was ajar but his eyes sparkled with such a fear, and horror that Morgana had absolutely no words to describe it. And she found herself slowly outstretching her hand toward the offered blade.

"Such an atrocious end for a man you love." Morgause remarked doubtfully.

Silence.

Her heart stopped and her blood froze in her veins.

"Love?" she whispered. "You think I love him? That's absurd." Morgana scoffed with a roll of her eyes.

"You married him, you are having his child. How else would you explain that."

"Enchantments?"

Morgause snorted. Morgana didn't really think before she uttered that word, she growled. She sounded like Uther. She shuddered at that thought.

Sighing, Morgause, moved away from Morgana. "Are you having second thoughts, sister?"

She shook her head, muttering "No…"

"Then you will kill him?"

Her lips parted "I…" she trailed off. "I can't."

"Take back to her cell." She commanded her bandits.

"What about him? What are you going to do with him?" Morgana found herself saying. Referring to Merlin.

"What you refused to do" Came the immediate response.

Horrified, her eyes widened .But before Morgana had even a moment to say anything more, she was shoved roughly.

One of the two men who had been standing right behind Merlin had done the same thing to him, so strongly, that his knees, gave way and he crumpled to the ground. His hands splayed out as he tried to prevent himself from slamming to the ground. But he failed to catch himself.

She began to struggle against the hold of her guards. Her arms thrashed violently, yanking against their vise grips as she tried to free herself. But her efforts soon were proved futile, and she could only watch as Morgause took Merlin by his hair and titled his head to the side, exposing his bare neck before her dagger against Merlin's throat.

She screamed and fought harder. Her yell drew Morgause's attention back on her, she glared.

"What is she doing here? Take her to cell. Now."

Morgana slapped her hand over her mouth. The men kept pulling her away, but she continued to struggle.

Blood. Blood everywhere. A whole floor filled with blood.

And Merlin. Lying there on his belly, his dark head resting on that floor.

Morgause turned him over with her leg.

His face, splattered all over with blood. Blood matting his hair on the right side of his head.

His eyes. His crystal blue eyes staring sightlessly straight up. Wide open and blank.

They reached the door and she didn't stop trying to break free.

"I will kill." she found herself yelling at her sister. "You will pay, Morgause." She screamed more."I'll kill you. Kill you..." she carried on until she saw Morgause flicker her hand and the door closed in front of her.

"Let go of me. I kill you all." she sobbed. "Merlin! MERLIN."


	13. Chapter 13

At first, she lied to herself that what had happened was nothing more than dream.

No. she shook her head. It had been in fact a nightmare; one that when she finally opened her eyes and the darkness ceased, she would be back within her chamber in Camelot or even in the house of Merlin's parents.

But as consciousness enveloped her and the familiar pressure of the child inside increased, she knew that it was not the case.

She didn't know how she should feel or think under such circumstances. Things had happened so fast. Far too quickly for her to fully grasp.

Her sister and her words. The threats and the hatred. She was not accustomed to those things. She didn't even want to think about Merlin and what she had witnessed.

Never had she heard her sister address in such manner.

A nightmare. That all that was. She repeated so over and over again until she chocked on her words.

Now, she honestly hopped that it was the Sarrum that had captured her, not her sister.

She had already survived him. She doubted she would able to survive this.

The door to her cell opened and a tray of food, consisted of bread and soup was placed on the floor before her.

They allowed small light inside, enough for her to see the food. Though she was famished and very hungry, she didn't move from her spot. Her eyes lingered on the tray, her mouth watered, yet she didn't come any closer to it.

When another was brought and upon founding that the previous one was yet to be touched, they swapped the meals, leaving the new one inside. They checked up on her less than hour later. Just like before she didn't eat. It was left untouched and to rot.

When the door opened the fourth time since she had gotten in there, it wasn't one of her sister's men. It was Morgause herself, she stood tall, towering her; Morgana fought the urge to look up. She glanced away, taking a deep breath.

"You are not eating." was the first thing her sister said.

She shrugged "I'm not hungry."

She didn't look pleased with that reply. Morgause sighed, rolling her eyes. "Are you now?"

"I'm quite certain that I'm not."

"Well you must eat, nonetheless."

Morgana looked up. Her eyes met her sister's. "Careful there Morgause, you almost sound like you actually care."

"Of course, I do." She smirked. "Just not for you."

It confused Morgana. She furrowed her brow. "You are not making any sense."

Morgause smirk got wider. She crouched next to Morgana. "This is no longer about you Morgana."

"Then what am I doing here? If you don't need me, why are you…?" she trailed off when she caught movement of her sister's gaze. She saw it dart downward and it stayed on her stomach before she glanced up toward her face once more.

It was in that instant that Morgana finally realized why she had been brought here.

"You want the child." It wasn't question.

"He will be able to accomplish the things you gave up on." Morgause said in a steady tone. "Could you imagine it? The son of Emrys is the king of Camelot. It will be the greatest way to have our revenge against all the wrongs that we had to suffer."

Morgana snort. "Our revenge? Whose exactly?"

"Our kind. The people you chose to betray." She snapped and stood up.

"What makes you so certain that I bear a son? It could be a girl and then what will you do? Send me back and wait until I give birth to an actual heir." Morgana sneered.

Morgause surprised her with a nonchalant chuckle. "Have you forgotten so quickly? I have, after all, told you about the vision I had of the son you would share with Merlin. I simply did not know that such knowledge would turn you against me."

Before Morgana had a chance to reply, Morgause was already out of the door.

She didn't understand what that meant in the beginning then she recalled the first conversation she had had with Gwen shortly after she had awakened to find herself in Camelot.

She could still vaguely remember the words that Gwen had uttered that day.

'Merlin deserves to know that you are carrying his son. Another generation of Dragon lord, even if the vision came from another seer.'

Morgause was the other seer? That was impossible.

What if Morgause had the same vision in her reality as well, but she had chosen not to tell her?

Minutes pass. Hours. Maybe even days and weeks. She hadn't seen Morgause again. She began to lose her sense of reality. Her sense of rational thought. Was she awake? Did she sleep? Her dreams were blank with no indication if she was conscious or not. Her eyes opened and closed to blackness. The physical pain she felt externally from her aching muscles and internally from the slightest pressure from her child couldn't be given any relief. When she did not stand, she sat, the cold floor was hard on her being. The meals continued to appear and finally she reached her breaking point. With guilt filling her, she neared the small tray and began to eat. She ate small portions. She refused to eat it all. It was enough to ease the hunger of the child within. She wasn't about to let him starve inside of her.

Soon, she found herself envying Merlin. Perhaps, even now, death was liberation. Anything was better than the anxiety of not knowing what could possibly come next.

But finally, however long it had been, her cell door opened and someone walked inside the small space. She heard a heavy sigh and she knew that whoever had walked in was not pleased with what he was seeing.

They should be. She hadn't been sleeping. Each time she tried, every time she closed her eyes, gave in to her body's need for rest, she would see his dead eyes and smell the blood that bled out of his fetal wound and sleep eventually would escape her.

She knew, now, of her sister's scheme. She knew the importance of the child growing inside of her to Morgause. Morgana could almost predict her sister's reaction if she would hear of her pathetic state at the moment. Weak, hungry and unhealthy.

Such dangerous combination was not suitable for a woman with child.

Morgause would not be pleased, not the slightest. Such idea brought a week smile to Morgana's dry lips. She would have laughed if she had the energy.

Anything that had the chance to disturb Morgause's contentment was bliss to Morgana.

The man took hold of her arm. She did not fight back. She welcomed his grasp as he pulled her gently from the room. When she fully emerged from there, the intensity of the light was so bold to her weak eyes that she was forced to look away. Moments passed, and slowly, her eyes adjusted to the new found brightness.

Something shiny glowed caught her eyes. The man keeping her upward was carrying a sword.

It was strange thing what happened next. But she remembered a chat she had had with Merlin on their journey to his parents' house. How'd he had so smugly told her that without her magic she was weak and due to her current state she was left unable to take care of herself. She loathed admitting that he had been correct... The past couple of days had served at nothing but to prove his words.

But still, with or without a child. She was still Morgana and she had constantly, and despite everything, sought ways to prove him mistaken even if he was, just like she had recently concluded, right in his assumptions.

Her response back then had been to tell him that she had not always had to rely uniquely on her magic. She had reminded him instantly that she had been quite skilled with swords long before her magic had begun to manifest.

He had laughed at her. That prat.

Now, she was presented with a chance. She could show Merlin how wrong he had been, if she would reach for the sword that hung from man's waist.

Easy as that.

What happened next didn't matter to her.

None of these pathetic excuses of men would dare to hurt or even think of doing so. Her beloved sister would have their heads off if anything would befall her…well the child growing inside of her.

If she could, she would. It was quite unfortunate that she didn't even possess the enough amount of energy to lift her head, let alone knock this man down and Merlin was dead, she doubt that he would care about what would happen to her.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

Those were the first words she heard since she had spoken to Morgause. Looking to her side, she saw the man that had retrieved her from the cell. Just like the rest of the men that she had encountered in there, only his eyes that she could make out and they were full with pity. His grip on her arm tightened. She walked slowly, her legs wobbly and unstable from lack of use as they made their way into the corridor. There, they were met by another bandit, and her other arm was taken a hold of. But she found this offensive means helpful, for she now found it hard to keep herself upright.

"What does my dear sister want now?" Her voice was hoarse from lack of use, but sounded better than silence.

The man who had joined them-with what she assumed was out of pity for her-inhaled, but he said nothing.

She didn't need to look at the guard that had just joined them to know he was staring at her. His breath tickled the back of her neck, causing the small hairs that lay translucent on its surface to rise. She knew not of what this silence held.

They didn't get far from her cell, not even near the stairs, when they heard sounds approaching just around the corner. They stopped.

"Take her back." She suddenly heard a hiss. "Hurry."

She didn't have time to react to what she had just heard. She was span around and Morgana, along with the other guard began to make their way back. She struggled to keeping up the brisk pace she found it nearly impossible to copy.

Once they reached her cell, he slammed the door shut and leaned his head against it. Morgana watched him with confusion.

She breathed heavily and tried to steady herself.

"That was close." He said turning around and taking the cloth that covered his face off.

Morgana did the only thing that she was capable off at the moment. She screamed.

But her yell was immediately silenced when Merlin placed his hand to cover her mouth.

"Stop. They will hear you."

She shoved him away and she clutched both of her hands on her mouth. Merlin moved away.

Her heart pounding, she shook her head, steeping backward until her back hit the wall.

"that's impossible…I saw you…" she couldn't form proper and coherent thoughts, let alone phrases. She just stuttered whatever words that came to her mind. "there… was blood…you …Morgause…dead."

Merlin held out his hands in front of him. "It's alright, Morgana, whatever happened it was not real. We will get you out of here. Just stay calm. Quiet" He spoke calmly. "Alright?"

He nodded his head as he asked and Morgana found herself copying his action.

Merlin straightened up when he saw that and exhaled in relief.

She still couldn't believe it, she took the chance that Merlin was distracted and made a run toward the door. However merlin was quicker than her and caught her before she reached it. He pinned against the wall. She started to fight him again, kicking and hitting him in the chest, he merely pressed his body to hers.

"You're not real…you're not.."

"I poisoned you." He whispered, his lips almost touching her ear. She shivered. "I killed you." He added huskily.

Her blood ran cold when she listened to that. He released her slowly and she sank to the floor.

"Morgana.."

The woman is question raised her hand. "Just give me a moment."

She didn't get what she was asking for when a guard barged inside. "It's clear." he said with a sigh.

She recognized his voice instantly.

"Arthur." She should have known. Those two were almost inseparable.

He frowned in confusion when he saw her on the ground and Merlin hunched over her.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing." They said at the same time.

Arthur nodded his head. "We have to go. Come on…" he held his hand for Morgana to take, but she shoved it away. "I can stand on my own."

But she couldn't. Merlin rolled his eyes. He took a hold of her hand and wrapped his arm around her waist. "I said I can…" Morgana snapped but trailed off when Merlin stiffly upward.

"We don't have time for this, Morgana. We have to go."

"Merlin!" Arthur warned as he glared at Merlin. "Easy on her."

Merlin turned to Morgana."I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that." He apologized. Though , both, Merlin and Morgana knew he didn't actually mean it.

Somehow they managed to get upstairs, unnoticed by the other men. Morgana didn't know where she was taken or what their plan was. She let them steer her toward a chamber. When the three entered it, Morgana was taken aback when she was roughly pulled into tight hug.

"Mother." It was Mordred and Morgana buried her head in the crook of his neck.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his voiced laced with worry. They broke the embrace .She glanced at Merlin, he was glaring at her. Her lips turned upward, forming a small smile, she shifted her gaze back to the druid boy once more. "I'm quite alright. Don't worry."

He didn't look convinced, she ruffled with his hair. "I am." She sighed. "I will be."

"We should leave before your absence goes noticed." Someone spoke from behind. Morgana realized that Gwaine and Leon were with them as well. She moved away from Mordred.

"What about Morgause?" Morgana asked and heard Merlin snort. She gritted her teeth.

"She is not here. She left a while ago. But don't worry; she will pay for what she did." Arthur squeezed her shoulder in reassurance.

The men walked toward the door when Leon spoke. " We found him sire. But he is dead."

Her head shut up toward her half-brother. "Who?"

"The driver." It was Merlin who answered. "What happened?"

"He was killed, they sliced his throat."

When she heard that, Morgana paused. What if Morgause couldn't capture Merlin and instead she used their driver.

She must have used a spell to make him appear like Merlin.

Clever. It did do the trick in the end.

Things had gotten really bad before it actually got better.

Even though, they managed to exit the small castle and into the woods. They were soon surrounded by Morgause's men.

Morgana felt her magic return to her the instant she left the place of her imprisonment. They ended up separating from each other; Morgana had start running...well waddling would be the correct word, away with Merlin after Arthur had begun yelling at them to go.

Further into the woods, away from Arthur and the rest of the knights, Morgana halted and leaned against a tree.

"We must go, Morgana." Merlin urged her.

Her chest burned, her legs protested and ached. "I can't." she rasped, shaking her head.

An uproar was nearing them, Merlin looked toward her. "We have to run."

"I can't." she wrapped her hands around her waist and fell to the floor.

This was one stupid rescue plan if it was going to get them killed.

"Damn it, Morgana, try." Merlin yelled in frustration.

Morgana snapped her head up, her eyes darkened with anger.

She yanked his hand and uttered a spell. Suddenly the scenery changed around them.

Morgana sat on the grass and tried to catch her breath. She closed her eyes.

She heard Merlin curse.

Moments later, she opened her eyes. Her breathing started to even.

Her lips were pressed into a thin line. Silently she stood back observing as Merlin furrowed his brow in confusion. His eyes inspected their surroundings.

"It looks awfully familiar…"he stated stepping further away from her. "This place…" he whispered mostly to himself, he turned to face her as if seeking a clarification for his obvious and unexplained bewilderment.

Morgana nodded her head, gazed fixed on a tree. She fidgeted with her fingers "my hovel…used to be there." She pointed a finger to where her eyes were looking at, he followed her with his.

They were quiet for a moment; Merlin had his arms crossed over his chest as he stared forward, Morgana altered between looking at his form and the giant tree.

When he squealed and said "you're right" she knew that he finally remembered.

"It's been a long time since I came here. It looks a bit different…" he walked and stopped just before the tree, held out his hand resting it against it trunk. "What do you think happened?" he asked.

She remained quiet.

Merlin waited for her answer when he didn't receive one, he falsely assumed that she had not heard his words.

He contemplated asking her again. "Morgana..."

She shook her head as if his voice had pulled her back to reality; she shrugged, meeting his eyes.

"Nothing we don't already know. You did not try to kill so I had no reason to join Morgause."

It felt like a slap straight to the face. He was supposed to be used to hearing it by now. The accusation. But still Morgana seemed to be keen on not wasting any chance to remind him of what he had done.

He nodded his head. Merlin did not add anything else; he had already apologized to her.

"We need to head back to Camelot…the sooner we get there the sooner I can go search for Arthur and the rest."

She sighed and took one last glanced to where her hovel should have been. She inhaled deeply.

Finally she was able to tear her gaze away, "What's your plan Merlin?" she asked walking near him.

"Um..." He looked around him. "Camelot is that way. I suppose …if I recall correctly." He hesitated, sparing another glance toward her.

Morgana confirmed "It is."

His eyes brightened up. He classed his hands "We can reach Camelot by nightfall, ready a search party and leave for Arthur…"

She didn't argue nor object to the idea; she simply uttered "Alright."

Merlin frowned. "Alright?"

Could it be that easy to convince her?

As if sensing his obvious confusion, her lips curved slightly upward enough to ease his mind. "Lead the way, Merlin."

He turned around slowly "Alright." He murmured again.

He began toward the direction he'd pointed.

Their journey back to Camelot began.

Merlin had taken only a couple of steps forward before he realized that his companion was not following him.

He spun around and saw her not far away from where they were standing.

Her back to him and she was walking in the opposite direction.

He should have known that it was too good to be true.

"Morgana…" he called out her name and much to his surprise, Morgana did the most expectable thing. She ignored him.

"Where are you going?" he started to run toward her. "Camelot is the other way around." Something clicked in his mind he paused in his track in front of her.

"Did you lie?" he demanded angrily.

She rolled her eyes. "No" and walked right pass him.

Bewildered, he took a deep breath. "Then where are you…" he trailed off.

"Morgana..." She continued to ignore him.

He was merely wasting his breath, she wasn't listening to him.

"Will you please stop?" he snapped.

She halted.

"I don't have time for this, Morgana. I must make sure Arthur is well and alright."

With her back still facing him, she snorted. Merlin gritted his teeth.

"No one here is stopping you from doing so Merlin." She said testily, turning to face him and it served only to anger him further. "Camelot is there…" she pointed a finger toward the round he'd taken moments earlier. "Run as fast as you can, do what you do best and save his precious life."

"You're not coming?"

Was he deaf?

Morgana threw her hands up in the air ad growled. "I never said I would return with you. We have already spoken of this Merlin."

He scowled. "About what?"

She puffed and glared at him. "I have no desire to return once again to Camelot."

Something about what she said sounded familiar. Then he remembered.

The conversation they had had in the carriage before Morgause had kidnapped Morgana played in his mind. Merlin rubbed his eyes.

"I never agreed…"

"Why would I need your approval Merlin…" she laughed. "What right do you have over me?"

"None." Was his reply.

He swallowed and she smirked. "Yes, Merlin. You have none."

"But I can't just leave you here." He said, firmly.

"Why?"

"Because..." he began. "It is not safe for you, Morgana. Morgause is after you."

"A more reason not to go back to Camelot. If I stay there she will eventually come for me." She sighed. "I refused to be an easy prey."

He placed his hands on his hips, watching her wearily. "And staying here is safer?"

"I can take care of myself, Merlin I have done it before. I can do it again."

"You were not with child back then." He reminded her.

She smiled. "It does not make me weak." She countered, arms crossed over her chest.

"But it does make you vulnerable."

She turned her head away; he kept his eyes on her.

"Then please leave me here." She breathed out a shuddered breath.

She shook her head, this time she met his eyes. "Leave me here. I beg of you." she repeated, her voice louder, steadier.

"For years, Morgana, you have done nothing but to try to make Camelot yours to return back to it and now you are running away."

She shrugged, a smirk graced her features and it was almost as if what happened seconds ago never was.

"And here, I imagined that you would be grateful for that." She mocked.

"I'm not." He replied bluntly.

She shook her head "That is your own predicament to solve Merlin."

She turned around but didn't move any further. Her shoulders stiffed at what he said next.

"Arthur did not hesitate to run to your rescue…the least you can do Morgana is return the favor."

"Did you not just say that I'm weak? How could I try to save another life when I'm unable to save my own?"

He glared at her and she was unaffected by that. "I did not ask for his help." She looked away, breaking their eye contact

"You didn't have too. You are his sister."

"Sister?" her head shot up abruptly, it took him by surprise; he absently took a step backward.

"how long have I been there?" she demanded.

"What are speaking about?" Merlin asked, confusion written all over his features.

"How long has it been since I got taken by Morgause?" She rephrased her question.

"Almost week."

She laughed bitterly ."I spent a week, Locked in a cell, in darkness. I was held captive by my own sister…" Her eyes darkened with anger, sorrow and pain.

The same sister that had took her in, taught her magic and made her feel safe, wanted her dead. Her sister hated her. Yet the brother she had vowed to kill and punish for their father's mistake came back for her…to save her.

That was not right. It certainly was not fair.

"How could she do this to me?" she sobbed.

It was typical that in such similar situations the right thing to do was to comfort the pained soul. If it had been any other person, Merlin wouldn't have hesitated to ease their torment.

But it was Morgana that was crying before him and they long since had stopped caring about what the other felt.

The words flew out of his mouth before he registered what he saying. "You have done the same to Arthur. You are not that different from Morgause. You are just like her. Don't except to be treated differently."

"What?" she sniffled, brow wrinkled in confusion. "I'm not nothing like her."

"Are you?" he challenged her. "Are you really?"

She paused, words on the tip of her tongue but she found herself incapable of uttering them.

How hard it was to say a yes.

Very difficult.

She scoffed. "You are lying."

"Perhaps. I am." He said calmly.

She snapped, eyes glowering at him. "No. I know you are."

"After all that you have done over the years, trying to kill Arthur, kidnapping Gwen, forcing her and enchanting her to betray her husband and her Kingdom. Can you really not see the similarity?"

"I wanted peace. Justice for those with magic. The only way to achieve that would have come to pass only if I were the one to take the throne. That was why sought it. Nothing else."

"Stop lying to me." He yelled. "Stop lying to yourself."

"How dare you?"

"Yes. How dare I speak the truth?" he taunted her.

She clenched her jaw and spoke through gritted teeth. "Leave. I will not return to Camelot. Like you said, you are losing daylight, if I were you, I'd hurry. Because trust me, I will slow you done. Deliberately."

Frustrated and defeated by her stubbornness, Merlin let his fell by his side.

"Fine. You'll have your wish, Morgana, because I can no longer do this." He huffed and turned around.

"Goodbye Morgana."

Morgana shuddered, the words sounded far too familiar. Yet she had no idea when or where she had heard them before.

She said nothing and just watched him leave.


	14. Chapter 14

He had indeed left her.

Her eyes, glittering with unshed tears, lingered on his retreating form. Her lips parted, forming words to halt his departure but were never uttered for they were trapped by her pride.

Not caring that if he were to take one single glance over his shoulder, he would see that she was in complete mess, Morgana lost the fight and tears were streaming freely down her pained features.

Crying openly over his decision to part ways with her, made her feel weak and pathetic.

No matter how painful it was, she forced herself to watch him. As reminder.

With each leaves his boot crushed, Morgana would wince. It felt like he was crushing her heart.

With each step he took further away from her, her chest would ache. And new tears would form.

She shouldn't be reacting in such way. There was nothing she could do to put an end to it. She was hopeless when it came to him.

The moment he left her sight, disappearing entirely from her blurred line of vision, Morgana closed her eyes and listened as his footsteps slowly faded away until she could not hear them.

She could no longer see him. She could no longer hear him.

Yet she kept her eyes on the road he'd taken. Secretly and helplessly wishing for him to appear once more.

A foolish thought. A silly desire.

But time went by and her eyes dried out. The scenery around her had fallen, into complete silence, apart from her ragged breathing that eventually evened. Her knees were weak and numb from the staying upright.

Merlin was nowhere to be seen. He didn't come back.

Alone. Once again.

And she welcomed that feeling differently this time.

She sunk to the ground, heavily. Her face buried in her hands, and then it started all over again. Her heart ached and she began to cry.

Lonely and having absolutely no one to rely; those feelings she had long since she had assumed that she gone accustomed to.

Yet, years after years of depending merely on her own, she realized that she had not adapted to living alone, she had simply forgotten what was like to have a family, a friend by her side. She had forgotten what it felt to matter to another person.

And the past two weeks she had spent in Camelot, surrounded by those she had distance herself from, with Gwen daily by her side chatting her ears off, or Gaius and his constant need for her potion knowledge or even listening to Arthur's snide comments that her half-brother seemed to never get tired of throwing them her way, it had done something to her.

Even though, she had felt herself suffocating by them all. It had started a sparkle. Deep inside her heart, reminding her of what had been. Of what she had missed.

History was repeating itself, in crueler way this time, she thought as she wiped her nose in the hem of her dress.

In the woods. Abandoned and deserted.

Her cries eventually subsided and she was left hiccuping and sniffing. Though, she needed to seek a shelter for the night-possibly for more than that, she supposed, she could not find the strength to stand up.

She was exhausted, both physically and mentally. All the running and crying were now taking their toll on her.

It occurred to her that she had wasted most part of her life when she had misplaced her trust in people that clearly didn't deserve such privilege.

Merlin, Gaius, her own fath-no, Uther. Today, her sister had joined that list.

She was not surprised when Merlin had not hesitated to do it again.

Honestly, why would he even care? Why would she matter to him? Or to anyone for that matter?

Darkness slowly crept on her, as the sun hid behind the horizon, she didn't care. It was getting colder and she began to shiver. Warping her arms around herself tightly, proved to be futile. Still, nothing appeared to be able to break through her wretchedness as she stared still ahead of her, blankly.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Her arms were still wrapped around her frame; Morgana leaned fully against the giant tree.

Against her better judgment and complying with her body's protests of discomfort and its need for rest, her eyelids grew heavy and Morgana drifted into dreamless sleep.

She wasn't sure what exactly woke her up, but the first thing she registered once she steered and before she opened her eyes, was that she was no longer shivering.

The source of the warmth was unknown, yet not unwelcomed and she snuggled closer to it… She paused in her action when her mind caught up on the obvious fact that she was in another position other than the one she had been in. She wasn't sitting but rather lying down and her head wasn't leaning against a solid and hard trunk of a tree but resting on something soft.

Her eyes slowly flickered open and she was torn between yelping in shock or growling as her eyes met his blue ones.

She stared blankly at him. Her mouth opened ajar.

He was looking down at her, his face far to close from hers.

Neither said a word as they continued to stare at each other.

Was she dreaming?

The logical part of her mind reasoned that she had already seen him leave.

The chances of him having a quick change of heart and abandoning his stupid quest to save the precious life of her dear brother were…slim. If not absent.

The other part… well she hushed its voice. She couldn't for the life of her come up with one single reason that would make Merlin return to her.

She was content with her final assumption and refocused her attention on his face. Her eyes softened and Morgana smiled dreamily at him.

However, not long after her face broke into that grin, she felt the usual pressure in her abdomen and her eyes widened.

Taking a quick glance down, Morgana closed her eyes.

Definitely, unquestionably and certainly not dreaming.

Her dreams would not have included the unborn child.

So if she wasn't dreaming, did that mean…?

She reopened her eyes and peered up at him.

Merlin awkwardly cleared his throat. "Hi."

Still she said nothing, unable to think of anything to say under such odd situation.

"Did you sleep well?"

She nodded her head, affirmatively. She tried to take a look around her but once her eyes moved to her left, she saw the fabric of his shirt and she came to the conclusion that her head had been resting on his lap.

She abruptly shoved herself away from him, sitting on her knees.

"Did you get lost?" was the first thing that jumped to her mind when she regained the control over her lips.

Merlin just chuckled lightly and shook his head.

The sound of his laughter was soothing.

Her heart throbbed quickly against her ribcage. Blood flooded threw her body and her cheeks began to take the color of a faint shade of red.

She was blushing. Morgana mentally slapped herself. Repeatedly. She willed herself to put on her mask. The strong, full-of-hate façade that Merlin was used to it. The one she was so used to it.

But she couldn't do it, couldn't summon it up.

She blamed Morgause for her current dilemma. The sight of him 'dead', it was all it took and the well hidden emotions that had buried deep, so deep inside her heart- that she had almost forgotten about them- broke free. They resurfaced, threatening to expose her.

Now, she tried to remember, to recall why she had started to hate and loathe him in the first place. She replayed her memories searching for the reason that had driven her to convert her heart into a well-guarded cage.

She didn't find one reason, she sadly admitted. She found a lot.

He had lied to her. He had betrayed her trust. And he had killed her.

Those memories played before her eyes time and time again. Every time she recalled the taste of poison in her lips as she struggled to breath and the smell of blood as she lay on the ground bleeding to death, her muscles would harden. By the third time she finished remembering his actions that led to her undoing, her lips were pressed into a thin line, her jaw clenched and her eyes were narrowed as she glared darkly at him.

"You frightened me, Merlin. You honestly find that amusing?" Her voice was high, her tone angry and demanding.

His grin faltered instantly, he blinked. Something inside of her broke but she smirked hearing his expression of regret. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have."

She scoffed, her eyes averting to her right before her gaze settled again on him. "What are you doing here anyway?"

Merlin gestured toward a small fire that it seemed of his making. Two sticks with what appeared to be meat were inclined toward it.

"I came bearing gifts."

Despite the harsh way she was speaking with him with, Merlin continued to express indifference toward her palpable fury. Which made her madder.

Hearing his answer, her eyebrow shut up. "How very generous of you, Merlin." She said testily.

He didn't comment on her remark.

Eventually she gave up on him saying anything, she looked at the fire. "What are those?"

Merlin followed her gaze, instantly recognizing what she meant by her question. "Rabbits."

The smell it erupted was neither nauseating nor stomach-churning, something she was immensely grateful for.

But she wasn't about to voice her gratitude, she'd rather die.

He smiled softly when she inched closer to the fire, seeking the heat it provided.

Morgana let her eyes wonder around her, she wasn't in the woods anymore. She couldn't see the sky, yet she wasn't in a hovel or in a cabin, she was sitting on soil and surrounded by darkness and rocks.

She turned to him. "Where are we?"

Merlin adjusted his sitting position to one that was more comfortable. His legs started to get numb, so he crossed them. He took his time to answer her. "A small cave. I found it when I …"

He trailed off, and then he rubbed the side of his temple before he continued. His voice was softer "…it's not far from where you had fallen asleep. East from your hovel."

The change of his demeanor was quite obvious. He didn't bother to hide it.

"What?" She inquired with confusion.

"What what?" He feigned ignorance and played naïve.

"What?" She repeated, this time however, screeching.

His shoulders hunched. "You've been crying."

It wasn't what she expected he'd say. Morgana, absently, touched her cheek, her fingertips coming cross thin layers of dry tears.

Like a small child, she shrugged only one shoulder, eyes downcast as she attempted to hide the evidence of her weakness. Except it was too late, he had already seen it so she pressed her palms against her face, squeezing her eyes shut , feeling the hot and burning sensation of newly formed tears.

She was unable to keep up her disguise.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier, I did not…"

"Don't." she shook her head, firmly "Don't apologize unless you truly mean it, Merlin."

He opened his mouth then closed it. After moments of what appeared to be internal debate, he finally snapped his mouth close. He began the process of checking their dinner.

Though no words were spoken, his actions spoke loudly and his reply was quite obvious and hard to miss.

She wished he had retract what had he had said about her earlier. But she was, to some extent, glad that he didn't just lie because he simply pitied her.

Still, his words hurt her.

She wasn't about to let that be without making him regret it.

She only hoped that she could muster enough anger and hate to accomplish that.

They sat silently, across from each other, watching the fire and drowning in its warmth. It was not much, but it helped ease the chilliness of night.

Their meal was yet to be ready.

Morgana was starving. She had already regretted not devouring the meals she was given during her imprisonment by Morgause.

It seemed that she had mourned the death of a person who was very much still breathing.

"What happened with Morgause?" Merlin's voice broke her out of her thoughts, she looked up at him.

"What did you say? I didn't hear you?"

He repeated his question. "Morgause, what did she do to you?"

At the mention of her sister, Morgana shuddered. She was quick to compose herself.

Merlin had an interesting way to cut through the awkward silence.

"Nothing that might concern you." She answered dryly. "Do not worry Merlin; I have no intention of joining her. It seems that Morgause hates me as much as you do .If not more." Her tone was bitter.

Merlin sighed, fiddling with hem of his shirt. "I'm sorry to hear that."

She let of breath of a laugh. "Would you please stop apologizing? It's quite annoying."

He frowned looking offended by that. "I honestly mean it."

Her features hardened. "I know. But it's rather hard to distinguish truths from lies. Most of the time, I cannot tell if your apologies are truly sincere."

"Well they are."

She eyed him.

"At least most of the time, they are." He amended when he saw her stern glare.

They were quiet again after that.

"Merlin?" She didn't know what possessed her to call out his name. She had no idea what she wanted to tell him.

He looked up at her and their eyes met.

When she didn't elaborate or offer anything to explain her outburst, Merlin broke their eye contact, focusing his gaze back on the fire.

She closed her eyes tightly. Swallowing the lump of emotions that formed in her throat, she proceeded to say his name again; she barely heard her own voice. She wasn't surprised when he continued to stare at the fire.

"Listen..." She trailed off when he peered up. She managed to offer the tinniest smile, clearing her throat, feeling the intensity of his eyes as they bore into hers.

"I know that…." She inhaled deeply, and laughed at her own nervousness. She quickly collected herself. "When you asked from my forgiveness for poisoning me after I returned…" she paused, sighing. "I know you that you were really sorry for doing that."

She was serious, he could see that. It was clear.

He looked astonished for seconds. His eyes softened once his bewilderment wore off. "Still, you did not accept it, didn't you?"

She smiled weakly. "Will you believe me if I tell you that I tried to?"

Merlin shook his head and she couldn't blame him. "No. You tried to kill that very day."

She shrugged her shoulders, eyes fixed on the fire. "You have no idea how long I have longed to see you dead."

"And you wasted little time to work on that." Merlin replied amiably, seemingly unmoved by her utterance.

"Your presence made it easier." Morgana told him with what she hopped was a convincing mischief. "I could not have let such chance go by."

Merlin ignored her remark and chose not to comment on it. "I don't know if I should be angry with you or pity you? I honestly don't know." He ended up saying.

"Why no both?" she suggested "why either of them Merlin?"

The fire added more to her pained expression and Merlin almost regretted uttering those words.

"Don't be angry." It sounded like an advice. "Believe me it would only tire you. Mind and body. And you shouldn't pity me. Don't waste it on me. Because I, after all, neither deserve it nor want it."

"Morgana.."

She continued despite his attempt at interrupting her.

"You know what you should do?" she made a fist. Her knuckles turned white. Her left arm started to tremble and she buried it in her lap, hiding it from his eyes. She wished she could hide herself from him as well.

She stared the fire. She took a handful of the sand and threw it into the red flames.

"Gloat. Mock me. Laugh at me. It will make you feel better." She said through gritted teeth. "But it will not last. It will never last." She

She was speaking out of experience. She was a very reliable source, after all.

"Morgana…" Merlin looked horrified at something she didn't quite pinpoint.

"I have lost everything and everyone. Look where I am. I don't mean not like this." She amended quickly, acidly.

"Calm yourself, Morgana." Merlin warned her. She ignored him.

"Morgause wants me dead, if I wasn't with a child, she wouldn't have hesitated to kill me. I know that…you know what hurts that most is…"

"Morgana that is quite enough…"

"You're right. . .her." she hissed every word with venom.

"Morgana!" Merlin screamed. "Stop!"

She didn't understand what he was trying to, but when he yelled her name, she realized what was happening around him. Before she even had a chance to react, the fire exploded in her face.

She heard her name being called from far away. Though she tried to hold on and grip tightly to what was left of her consciousness, she failed and soon she was swallowed by darkness. She wondered briefly if she will ever open her eyes again. And if she did, would she be alive or dead.

She wished wholeheartedly it would the latter.

Awareness. Like sounds underwater.

Light gathering behind closed eyes.

And then lead. In her arms, her legs, her head. Her body felt like one giant rock, rough and immovable. Her eyes seemed glued shut, like even a monumental effort would prevent them from opening.

She listened to the sounds as they became sharper. There were voices, soft and murmuring, coming from close by. She couldn't distinguish actual words.

She opened lips and took in a breath. It was cold and fresh and clear, soothing her like a balm. She should open her eyes and see where she was. Yes, she should do that...

She felt stiffness in her neck from where her head was tilted to the side and she turned, immediately wincing as the back of her head came in contact with the less than inviting pillow underneath. Slowly, she ran a heavy hand up her side, up her neck and into her hair, wincing again as her fingers found the generously-sized lump there.

She opened her eyes, blinking as they found light. She stared up, seeing nothing but rocks far above her. Her tongue snaked out and she licked her lips, feeling the cracks in them.

"Are you alright?"

She saw the figure loom over her and after a few blinking moments; it materialized into the form of a certain servant. Merlin.

"Morgana…Morgana. Are you alright?" The woman in question nodded her head, making an attempt to sit up. However, she as half way through when she felt two strong hands on her shoulders.

Merlin gently pushed her down, thus forcing her to lie on her back.

"Perhaps you shouldn't move …much. ..Just.."

"I'm fine, Merlin." She told him, Merlin looked less convinced.

"That's good…but stay still. The pain…" he mumbled incoherently, there was a rustle as he pulled his hands away and moved back.

Morgana sighed. "I'm in no pain, Merlin."

Merlin furrowed his brow. "Not yet…" he winced trailing off. "Not that I want…it just last time it took a while for..." he didn't finish his thought; they both know what 'last time' meant. He was referring to the incident in his parents' house when he had sent her flaying backward.

She was almost touched by his evident concern. Almost.

"Don't be absurd, Merlin. I'm quite alright." She placed her hands in each side, ready to push herself up. Instantly she felt his hands on her again.

She inwardly groaned. Must really do that?

"I remember warning you about touchi..." she began menacingly, but he maintained his contact with her, effectively cutting her off, while forcing her to lie down.

"Don't. Just rest, please."

Morgana nodded slightly, too dazed by his intense blue eyes to voice a protest or slap the man's hands away.

Conceding, Morgana rested her head down. Merlin sat by her side. He looked tired. She didn't know why it took her a long time to see that.

Merlin stared at her stomach. And she stared at him.

A brief moment later and without looking in her direction, Merlin asked. "And now..."

"Nothing has changed." She said dully.

He shifted in his position "Are you certain?"

"I think I'm quite capable of distinguishing between pain and the lack of it." she shot him a look and He rolled his eyes.

"I am sure that you do. I'm just worried abo…"

Did he just say…?

"Worried?" Her voice flattered momentarily. "I thought you said you didn't care about this child."

Her hand rested on her swollen belly, rubbing it in lazy circular motions.

"I don't." He answered tentatively.

"Alright." Morgana murmured. She waited a moment, but Merlin said nothing further. "Was that it?" She looked unimpressed and amused at the same time.

Merlin sighed.

"As my child, I don't. But as a child…I don't wish for it to be hurt or worse. I'm not that cold. So yes I am worried."

Morgana raised one corner of her mouth in a smirk and conceded the point with a nod. "That definitely clears few things."

What she truly wanted to ask him was if he had been worried about her too? Was that the reason he abandoned his plan and return to find her?

But something were better left unasked. She feared the answer she might get.

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "It does?"

She slowly, painfully pulled herself into a sitting position, holding up a hand when Merlin leaned forward to help.

"You will never stop lying to me." She told him.

Merlin's face fell, but he still held himself stiff, not quite meeting Morgana's sad eyes.

"I can't trust you with the truth."

"You are not the only one"

" You cannot blame me or anyone for that. You used their trust against them .It was your own doing." He reminded her.

She swallowed thickly. "You think I'm not aware of that…" she scoffed. "You have no idea why I did it. You have no idea what I have been through."

He shook his head then added. "You had many people that..."

"That what.." she hesitated briefly "That loved me?"

"Yes." He nodded.

"Who are they, Merlin? "She inquired curtly. "Is it the man that refused to acknowledge me as his own flesh and blood? I was his daughter and I begged him to…" she sniffed. But she wasn't finished, she was far from that. "Or perhaps the man I had trusted since the first day I sat a foot in Camelot, the one who knew all about my troubles yet denied my very right to know the truth about who I truly was."

Her matter-of-fact statement froze him. He dared not to look up at her, instead fixing his gaze on the dirt in front of him, eyes travelling to his shoes but not beyond.

"Or perhaps, the friend I trusted with my life and deepest secrets, the one who poisoned me…" she chocked on her words.

She couldn't cry, not in front of him. Especially him.

"Arthur and Gwen…" Merlin muttered but Morgana simply shook her head.

"When it came to magic and whether you believe it or not, Arthur shared his father's believes. As for Gwen…she was loyal, I can't deny that. But if she were met with a choice, I wouldn't be the one she would choose."

Merlin scratched the back of his head. "After all of you have seen in this place, magic has returned to Camelot and Arthur proved to be the opposite of Uther. You have to admit that you were wrong"

"It's too late now, Merlin."

Merlin sighed.

"Why are you here? Why did you come back, Merlin?"

"I hoped that I could change your mind." He replied "convince you that Camelot is safer for you."

She smiled bitterly.

He never gave up.

"How is that going on so far?" she asked.

"Far worse than I have planned, to be honest."

More silence followed after that.

"Our dinner is completely ruined." Merlin told Morgana and her gaze shifted to lay on the food covered in dirt and obviously entirely burned.

"Oh, no." She whined. "I'm starving."

"I doubt we'll be able to find something at this late hour." He sighed.

"It's my fault. I haven't lost control over my power in long time."

"When was the last time?" he said calmly.

Morgana shrugged one shoulder.

"I don't really remember." She lied.

The last time such thing had happened was when she had thought that her sister had died after the attack led by Merlin.

The latter stood up; Morgana followed him with her eyes.

He laid down far away from her, next to the entrance.

"I'm not leaving without you. No matter how long it will take." He mumbled from his place, Morgana couldn't see his face, but his words rang trough her mind for the rest of the night. "Good night, Morgana."

"Good night, Merlin."


	15. Chapter 15

Two dull eventless days had slowly gone by. Surprisingly though, at least for Morgana, Merlin was still there.

Still, despite his presence and his vocal declaration that he would remain with her, Morgana was naturally dubious and every time he got up to do something, she had this feeling that he might not be returning.

But of course, Merlin, well-known to disappoint her regularly, had kept true to his promise. At least for now.

Not many words had been exchanged between them, except for the usual 'good mornings', 'goodnights' and such. They rarely spoke and barely acknowledged the presence of one another.

The obvious silence that stretched on for long hours didn't seem to be a bother as neither of them attempted the slightest effort to put an end to or even talk about it.

Although they might never say it, but it was maddening and unnerving.

The small cave was still being used as a shelter. It was not comfortable, yet it was satisfactory for the time being.

After two days, a sort of routine had been, wordlessly, established.

Merlin was doing what he did best; he'd hunt and cook and Morgana tried her best as well to keep away from him, which would last until he told her their meal was ready.

But some things were never meant to last, Morgana realized that when on the morning of the third day, she woke up, upon leaving their hideout, Merlin was nowhere to be seen.

Usually by the time she woke up, Merlin would have readied their breakfast and was sitting by a tree waiting for her to join him.

At first, she tried not consider the worst; that he might in fact have left her alone. Then again she had been expecting for it to happen for the last couple of days.

What she feared most was that if he would actually return to Camelot, what would he inform Arthur precisely?

But she shoved that question and the rest of her doubt to the back of her mind and attempted to think of something else.

He might still be trying to find something for the two of them to eat.

Her weak attempt at steering her thought away from those ideas was gradually diminishing, as hunger and the restlessness of the child within grew. Her patience weakened with each passing moment.

When the sun was set in the center of the sky, Morgana could no longer take it and she decided to leave before Merlin returned with her half brother as pressure point to convince or force her back to Camelot.

A faint rustle of dead leaves came from behind her and terror brought her scrambling to her feet. Blood pounding in her head, Morgana stared as Merlin emerged from behind the trees and bushes.

His eyes landed on her and he sighed. "I'm sorry."

For a moment she couldn't speak. The fear had been sharp and reel.

"For what?"

When it returned, her voice was gruff. She was annoyed that she'd been foolish enough to be frightened and angry that he'd been the one to frighten her. She pushed her hair back. He gave her a pointed look, lifting an eyebrow. Morgana refused to back away and continued to stare at him.

That lasted for a couple of second until Merlin looked away, and shook his head.

The move allured her to gaze toward his hair and it baffled her how that she didn't notice it until that very moment.

His hair was wet, not dripping but it had that glint of a newly washed hair.

She crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes roamed over the rest of his body. He had changed his wears… Adding the two observations together, she was able to come up with one conclusion.

"You bathed." There was an accusation in her tone, though unattended to be expressed out loud, somehow Morgana was ,in a way , a bit mad that she had been abandoned for that.

He peered down at his own clothes then back up at her. "I did. I really needed it."

Merlin continued toward the cave and walked past her, but Morgana fell into step beside him "You bathed?"

Merlin turned to face her. "I already answered you, Morgana."

"Honestly?" she chided; she bit her bottom lip before saying. "I have been kidnapped; I spent a week in a cell sleeping on the cold hard stoned ground and for the past two days as well…"

"Your choice." Merlin mumbled and she was aware that he was referring to her decision to not go back to Camelot.

She ignored his rude interruption and carried on. "If anyone deserves a change of dresses and a bath, it's me."

"Alright." His voice was calm and face expressionless. Morgana felt as if he was merely humoring her. She was most likely correct in her assumption.

Merlin dropped their lunch on the ground. Rabbits, she noticed. Again.

She grumbled. She was beginning to get disgruntled with it. Every day was the same thing. Some variety won't hurt every now and then. She was ought to tell him so. Perhaps, she would do it later.

She said his name flatly, his shoulders slumped and he looked up at her. Now his face held a bored expression. "What?"

"I wish to bathe."

His reply came quickly as if it was expected and readied beforehand. "No"

"Yes." She mimicked him, taking a step forward.

"No" shaking his head, he moved a step ahead, toward her.

Morgana uncrossed her arms, sighing. "I need it as much as you did if not more."

She was pouting and Merlin couldn't believe what she was doing.

"Morgana…" Did she really think such method could actually be applied on him?

"Please." Her voice was meek. Were her eyes glittering? She wouldn't fake tears, would she?

Anything was possible with her.

"Please." She said once again.

Merlin rolled his eyes, giving in. "Fine."

Her lips swiftly switched upward, forming a board grin. Her eyes twinkled with triumph.

"We'll go tomorrow."

Before his astonished gaze, Morgana transformed from a mischievous angle to tough lady.

"No, today." She snapped at him.

That was more like it.

"I said tomorrow." Merlin tried to hold his ground.

Morgana however refused to back down. She opened her mouth, surely to retort but Merlin cut her off before any words left her lips. "And that's final."

He plopped down on the ground, reaching for the dead rabbits.

"Fine." Morgana threw her hands up in the air.

"Fine." Merlin deadpanned.

She slapped her foot against the floor angrily and strolled out, cursing under her breaths.

Alarmed by that, Merlin's eyes widened slightly. "What are you going to do?" He called after her.

She did not bother to glance over at him when she threw her answer over her shoulder "To bathe."

Merlin groaned, closing his eyes briefly. He breathed out in defeat and then he proceeded to jump to his feet. The task at hand was momentarily forgotten.

He ran after her. "You cannot be serious?"

"Watch me." She challenged and continued to walk away from the cave and of course from him.

Huffing in irritation, Merlin's hands fell by his sides. He stood still as he watched her strode away.

When she disappeared completely, Merlin decided he should follow her. It didn't take him long to catch up with her.

"Why are you being so damn persistent?"

"Why are you being so damn stubborn?" she tossed back.

"It's almost midday, Morgana, by the time we reached the lake and you take your 'bath', it will be near sundown." He tried to reason with her.

"Then we are wasting precious daylight standing here arguing."

There was no arguing with her, Merlin realized. "Alright, wait here. I shall return to the cave and bring the rabbits along."

"Let's not. Perhaps we can manage to obtain some fruits on the way there." She told him. "Where is 'there' anyway?"

"It is a lake. Not far from here." He answered her. "But we are not heading towards it directly; there is somewhere we need to attend first."

"Where?"

"You will now soon enough."

"Where did you get those clothes?" Morgana wondered, trying to keep up with him.

"I …'" He trailed off. His gaze shifted downward then up again, he looked guilty. He shrugged one shoulder and continued walking in front of her.

Her question was left unanswered.

She quickened her pace catching up with him. "You've stolen them, haven't you?"

His shoulders stiffened and stooped. "No." then he presumed his walking.

Her laugh was spontaneous and as rich as her voice. "There is no need to feel embarrassed about it, I am certain you've done far worse than that."

He hummed, paying no attention to the bang in his heart that her words triggered.

"You are attempting to steal cloths for me as well? That is where we are traveling for, is it not?"

"How clever of you."

She could only grin at the sideways glare.

They continued to march toward their destination. Before they reached the border of the village, Merlin turned to face her.

"Alright, it's better that you stay here. I will go in there and try to find something for you."

She reached out, grabbing his arm. "How are you going to know what might fit me correctly?"

He snorted and moved away, her hand fell by her side. "Don't worry about that. I can probably guess. I've been helping Arthur with his belts; I know exactly what to look for."

She couldn't help the chucked that escaped her lips. She flushed when she saw the way he was looking at her. "How many holes do you think you need to make before one of Arthur's belts actually fits me?"

"A lot."

She widened her eyes at his blunt reply. Her hands rested on the top of her stomach, she smiled weakly. "It's big, is it not?"

His gaze focused on the gentle caresses she was doing. He wondered what was going through her mind at that moment. "Quite frankly, it's hard to miss."

"Well, I am six month along. Besides, why on earth would I be to trying Arthur's belt? I doubt I'd be even able to fit into my old armor."

"You tried?" His eyes widened.

"Don't be absurd. I have no reason to wear it."

"Because using magic is far more effective than swords." He mused.

"No, because I have you for that."

"You trust me to keep you safe?" That was unexpected?, Merlin thought.

"I actually trust you to keep your son safe." Morgana wasn't sure why she said what she had just spoken. But from the pained-yet surprised- look on Merlin's face, she supposed that she might have just broached a sensitive subject. Merlin recoiled, cleared his throat and nodded but remained calm.

His demeanor served to verify her assumption. She had rendered him speechless. Morgana made a mental point no forget about it.

"Try your best not to bring back something hideous." There was a laugh in her voice.

"Even if I did, I doubt it would make you look less beautiful."

"You do?" because it baffled her, she kept still and waited what would happen next. Her brow rose and her heart raced a little faster when she saw his quick survey.

Lips ajar, she studied him as the corner of his mouth quirked lightly in a reluctant smile. "I should most likely head there now. Like you said we needn't to lose more daylight."

"You should." She murmured. Her nerves were more ragged than she'd have believed possible.

Merlin didn't add anything further; he did as he had just told her and started toward the small hidden village behind the giant trees that spread before her.

Before she knew it, he was gone. She sucked in a deep breath then she exhaled slowly, wondering why she felt as though she'd just taken a long step with her eyes close.

She eased herself down on the ground and waited for him to return once again.

Morgana reappeared in front of him, her hair dripping. "Is it ready yet?" she gestured toward the small fire.

The dress he'd gotten her, fortunately, fit her, Merlin noted. "Not quite. But it will be soon."

"At last, I'm famished. I blame you for that."

He reached for a bag- he'd stolen it as well- and extracted a red apple. He tossed it her way. "Munch on this. And whine no more, please."

Morgana suddenly winced, pressing a hand to her side. Merlin averted his gaze in her direction, watching her with concern. "What's the matter?"

Morgana held her free hand up, Merlin inched closer to her. "He is quite the kicker. He has been at it for a while now. Must be hungry too."

"Would you allow me to…" he trailed off, inhaling. "...feel it?"

She dropped the hand on her belly, "I'm uncomfortable to the concept of being touch being you."

"I don't wish to lay with you," Merlin remarked snidely, "merely to feel the baby move."

"I don't want to." Morgana gave a careless shrug. "Please accept my wishes."

Merlin conceded with a nod and frown.

"It's done." He declared after inspecting their food.

Morgana turned to face the fire, she held out her hand to take a hold of her lunch. She almost dropped it when a man approached them from a path to the right.

Merlin was on his feet in no time. The man stopped with a shocked expression washing over his features.

"My lord, lady Morgana," The man bowed in curtsy, a board grin forming quickly. "You are alive and well. The entire Kingdom is searching for you. King Arthur has declared…"

"Arthur is back." His heart skipped a beat; his lips curved upward "Is he alright?"

"He is." The man nodded his head frantically. "The knights are searching the wrong area. There are whispers that you are dead."

"Are you by yourself?" Morgana finally spoke, addressing the man. Merlin glanced at her, confused by the harshness of the question.

"Yes, milady." came his answer.

From her position on the ground, Morgana's mouth was pursed as if she was considering something carefully. Her eyes grew sharper and the man's neck twisted.

"You killed him." Merlin screeched, kneeling by the lifeless body. He turned dark, direct eyes on her.

"He recognized us Merlin." Morgana gave him a shrewd glance. "Letting him leave with such knowledge was dangerous and rather unwise on our behalf."

"You didn't have to kill him. How could you be so ruthless?"

"Don't be like that." The devil himself could take lessons on smirking from Morgana, Merlin thought bitterly as he focused his attention on her. "Don't act as if you haven't killed innocents if it was serve your own purpose."

"I have never killed nor tried to do such horrific act."

"What about me?" She said briskly "Wasn't I innocent in your eyes? Or have you constantly seen me as monster?"

"So, you're going to mention that incident every time you wish to make me feel guilty?" He closed the man's eyes and stood up.

She shrugged nonchalantly. "It's a good argument. And furthermore, it seems that it does its job. Perfectly."

"You seem to only recall my poisoning you, yet you forget that if I didn't inform Morgause of the true nature of the poison, you would have surly be dead."

"If she hadn't put an end to the spell, would you have told her?" she demanded angrily. "Are you going to stand before me and lie to my face like you have done time and time again?"

"If the roles were reversed what would you have done? " He asked. "Would you have let the people you care most about die? Would you have let hundreds of women and children die? Tell me what would you have done if you were in my position?"

"If I knew back then what I know now, I wouldn't have lifted a finger."

"You don't mean that." Merlin refused to believe that."You used to care about Camelot; you were willing to do whatever it took to keep your friends safe. I knew you."

"Who you knew back then, was nothing but a gullible young woman."

He shook his head "You were nothing but."

"After everything I discovered Merlin that was exactly how I felt." She gnawed on her bottom lip "I don't understand why you insist on staying here. I will not ask for your reasons nor will I force you to leave. You are here because it's your own choice. You will have to live with its consequences if the outcome doesn't please you."

Their journey back was unlike the one they had made toward the lake that midday. It was silent and…tense.

They were almost there when whispers and movements alerted them. They were not alone in that area. They both held their breaths, moving cautiously in the direction of the noises.

"It's Morgause." Morgana gasped, the sharp intake of breath was loud enough that Merlin abruptly clasped his hand over her mouth. He pulled her closer to him; her back collided with his chest. He lowered his head, his lips were inches away from her ear. "Be quite."

She had a sudden, fierce memory of a knife probing against his throat and the reek of blood. She wanted to sit because her knees where shaking. She stood because she thought that she might never be able to again.

With his hand firmly pressed against her mouth, thus preventing her from uttering a single syllable, Morgana had no choice but to nod her head slowly, fearing that even such simple effort was loud.

"Stay here." He said and gently pushed her away from him. He swiveled her so she was facing him. "Stay here." he repeated again. It sounded like an order.

Morgana waited for her breathing to level as she watched him walk away. With deliberate movements, she rushed and stood before him "Stay here? What about you?"

Merlin glanced toward their cave and then back once again at her face. "I need to…."

"You don't need to do anything, Merlin" Morgana added before he could speak his mind. "If you are seen, she will not hesitate to kill you. Morgause will make sure of it."

"I can handle Morgause."

"Perhaps you can, but I cannot, not like this." His eyes inadvertently landed on her middle section. She noticed it and touched his forearm to gain his attention. "Besides she did not arrive here unaccompanied. She brought her men along; you don't really suppose you can be a match to them as well? Do you?"

She had a point. A very good one too. As much as it pained him to admit that, but Morgana was right.

With a line between his brows, Merlin dragged a hand through his hair. "They will discover our traces..."

"And they will follow them to that village and afterward to the lake." This time Morgana's voice was quiet, persuading. "By the time she arrives there; we will be far away from here."

"That sounds like a plan." Merlin told her "We should cover these traces as well."

She nodded her head. "She will be unable to track us."

He gestured for her to move in front of him. He'd rather be spotted first. At least, it would provide Morgana with an opportunity to escape while he attempted to hold them back.

Luckily, they were quite fortunate to be able to leave that place unnoticed and harmless.

They had been on foot for a long time before Morgana; at last put an end to the silence as well to their journey.

"We have been traveling for a while now, Merlin, I don't think I can take yet another step forward."

He inwardly agreed with her. "We'll camp here tonight." He put down the load he had been carrying and collapsed down with a groan. Morgana, too, sat rather with difficulty, resting her back against a tree next to Merlin. The latter had his eyes closed and Morgana surveyed him with an arched eyebrow. As if sensing that, Merlin cracked one eye open, titling his head in her direction.

"Food and water are there, if you need anything further, I fear you will have to wait until dawn. You think you can last that long?"

"I will try my best."

His eyes drifted close once more. She growled and nudged him in his tight. "What of fire? Are you not going to start one?"

He shook his head "if Morgause can see the road ahead of her, then doing so will be risky."

"It's freezing, Merlin!"

The warlock straightened his shoulders and he folded his arms across his chest. "Would you rather be cold or get caught?"

Her eyes stayed on his cold and unwavering. "Both of them would most likely lead to the same fate, I would rather be warm when that happened."

"What fate are you speaking of?"

"Death."

"We don't want that." Merlin said calmly.

"No, we don't." Morgana agreed with a nod and a smile. "So, are you going to make fire?"

Much to Morgana's dismay, Merlin shook his head.

"This is awkward." Merlin commented when the silence stretched on.

When Morgana only moved her shoulders, he scowled.

"Something has been bothering for a quite some time …" He added awhile later. "Can I ask a question?"

"I believe you already have."

Though it wouldn't be seen, Merlin rolled his eyes at her snide reply.

"How do you do it?" Merlin wondered.

"You need to be more accurate about what it you inquire, Merlin; I'm quite capable of doing a quite lot of things"

His hand hovered over her stomach, unwilling to make a contact. What she had told him that very afternoon was still fresh in his mind.

She made a sound that might have been a laugh then she shrugged her shoulders. "I'm used to it."

"Being with a child?"

This time she actually laughed. "No. What I meant to say is that I'm used to encountering situation where I find myself both obliged and forced to grow accustomed to."

"I don't understand. What situations?"

She shifted and tried to title her head so she could look at him. However, realizing how close his face was to hers she quickly thought against it. She returned to her previous position where she was pressed directly against him. "When I found out about my magic, I had to accept that reality. I had to accept what I am. Then when Morg…" she paused, what should say when Morgause died or when her sister was killed by her own hands? Morgana wasn't sure what to tell him "After Morgause…" she chose to not elaborate more on that thought; the way her voice wavered at the mentioning of her sister's name was enough to indicate how painful the subject of Morgause was. " I learned to adjust to whatever crosses my path."

Merlin hummed at her explanation. "I am …" he cleared his throat. "We are both aware that the subject of your gravidity has been constantly avoided, but I believe it's inevitable that we broach it for the sake of…well the child you're bearing."

"I don't wish to talk about it." She cut in harshly.

"Morgana." He said her name gently. "We have to."

"No we don't. Why would you want to speak of it now?"

"Because…because it's odd."

"Odd?" she echoed. "What's odd about it?"

"It's hard to explain."

"Give it a try, Merlin." She prompted, with a roll of her eyes.

"Alright!" he drew in a long breath "I'm scared. Actually I'm very scared. In my defense, it's a bit …a lot scary. It's not the child I'm scared of, but the idea of having one. The problem is that you have been acting rather indifferent concerning the whole matter ever since we got here , which made you look…"

"Let me guess, scary?"she supplied with a smirk.

He shook his head. "No. heartless. Quite frankly, that is not what a child needs. I cannot help but to think how unfair for it to have you as its mother."

Because his words hurt more than she thought possible, the pain started a dull ache in her stomach. "Well, that's a bit harsh."Tears burned at her throat, but she refused to acknowledge them. He won't see me cry, she vowed fiercely. He won't see her cry again.

For the first time she felt the faint throbbing where their bodies touched.

His brows drew together as his gaze grew intense "You can't blame me for considering it. Are you not the least concerned or …"

"I'm not scared." Morgana shook her head. "I am terrified." She blurred out, and then she followed that rash statement with a deep breath. Before she knew it, she allowed her tears their freedom. All at once, pain and humiliation coursed through her.

She had broken her won promise to herself.

For a moment, they both were still. "You don't seem to be." He wondered why he felt the small unaccustomed tug of guilt when he heard her sniffles.

"What do you except me to do? Why do you think I have been trying to undo whatever is that brought us here. You and I, we both know how important family is. We both have been exposed to the suffering of losing a loved one firsthand and I grew up without a family. No matter how heartless you think I am, I'm realistic. We loathe each other. Every time we crossed paths, either I tried to kill you or it's the other way around. How fair do you think it is for a child to live in a family like that?"

"I don't believe loath is the correct word to describe our feelings, after all, we are in each other's arm." It wasn't the time for jokes, even as he spoke, Merlin regretted his words.

After all, the position they were both in was his brilliant idea. Quite stupid, he realized when he found himself sitting stiff. Morgana was between his legs and his chin resting on the top of her head.

She nudged him in the ribs and dashed the drops away. There would be no wallowing in what was said. "Do you really think so little of me?"

In silence, Merlin sensed her battle for control. There was no sound in the forest but Morgana's jerking breaths.

"You've given me no reason to assume otherwise. You felt no remorse after ending a man's life earlier."

"I got used to it." She murmured and detangled herself from him and moved toward the food. She wasn't hungry; such spoken revelations were enough to cause a loss of an appetite. But she needed to do something with her hands, anything.

"You're not helping your case here." He balled his fists against his sides.

After offering Merlin a piece of meat which he accepted with a thank you, she reached for her own part and started to eat it, silently.

"You said that you were terrified that was why you began searching for a way back. Why would you do that?" Merlin asked.

"I believe I had just sated my reasons, haven't you been listening?" Morgana took another bite, chewing it slowly.

He didn't answer until swallowed the food in his mouth. "You really don't quite grasp what we have here. We have been granted a second chance, Morgana. A way to redeem ourselves, to right our mistakes."

"If this truly was your second chance, Merlin, I would not be here." Her eyes were steady and as measuring as his.

"Why is that?" Merlin stated.

"Because I'm Uther's mistake! Don't you wonder how things would have turned out if I was born a boy?"

"That's…" Merlin trailed off, his eyes studied her with infuriating astonishment.

"Uther wouldn't have resorted to using magic to produce an heir and his wife wouldn't have died and he wouldn't have declared war against magic. Families are dead because of me. I have my own family's blood on my hands. "

"You can't blame yourself for that." Was he really hearing this?

"Don't sit there and act as if you don't understand what is that I'm currently feeling. You cannot deny that you felt responsible when your father died."

"You still cannot hold yourself accountable." Merlin put in. "It was not your fault. Believe me, it wasn't. It's Uther's."

She scoffed, abandoning her food. "Yet after everything he said and done to our kin, you still let him live."

"Killing him would have served no good. It would only have hardened Arthur's heart and fueled his hatred toward magic. That was exactly what come to pass after you aided in Uther's death."

"Can I ask you a question?" Morgana said coolly "Since you are too keen own approaching avoided subjects."

He was half tempted to say 'you already have' but the seriousness in her eyes, was enough sign to hold back the chance of teasing her. He nodded his head.

"What do you hope to accomplish by staying here, with me."

"I've failed you one too many times Morgana, and I suffered the consequences firsthand. I'm not going to foolishly commit the same mistake once again. We sued to be friends."

"Friends?" she repeated before Merlin could add anything. "We are enemies. A lot has happened; even time cannot heal it."

"You forgave Mordred for stabbing you." He felt the urge to remind her of that. "Why can't you forgive me?"

"It's complicated." His logical question annoyed her, but succeeded in making her heart flutter.

"I'm willing to forgive you." He sent her a smile which sneaked through her defenses. Morgana's pulse hammered.

"I do not seek your forgiveness. I have nothing to apologize about." Morgana snapped, barely restraining herself from shouting.

The door slammed shut. Silence befell the place as Merlin and Morgana were left alone.

Merlin had kept his back to her and slowly turned around to face her.

"So…" Merlin trailed off, adding nothing further.

"I cannot believe you talked me into this." She buried her face in her pillow then peered up to see him standing by the edge of the bed. His dark hair curled in a confused tangle around his lean face and his eyes were dark and confident. It was the confidence, she told herself, that cursed him for it.

He was watching her with deep powerful eyes while his mouth curved into a smile. "It was your choice, Morgana."

It had happened the next morning after their journey to the lake; she'd jerked him awake and informed him of her decision.

"I'm hungry."

He scowled, eyeing her suspiciously. "I thought that the maid had already fetched you your dinner."

"She did." Morgana nodded her head. "But I'm still hungry."

"You want me to fetch you more?"

She smiled weakly. "That would be lovely, Merlin."

He stopped by the door. His hand was only inches away from the doorknob.

"It's good to have you back." He said.

The smile flattered from her face. Her mouth was half open. "You don't actually mean that Merlin. You're just glad I agreed to come back."

Scoffing he walked away from the door "Of course, I mean it. I promised I won't lie to you no more."

She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. Then, she proceeded to open them. "It will come a day when you wish you never came to free me from Morgause."

"Never."

Morgana licked her lip, brow furrowed. "Something has changed." She remarked suddenly, Merlin stopped; he was almost outside of the chamber.

His scowl mirrored hers. "Why would you think that?" Merlin asked. His voice sounded odd, thread and he swallowed.

"You seem different." She simply stated. "You're willing to make an effort with me and you're patient. Something, I know you were not willing to do before Morgause kidnapped me."

Merlin replied with rueful shake of his head. "I realized that you are worth the effort."

With that he finally left the room and pulled the door close behind him.

Merlin knocked twice, and then heard the faint "enter" from the other side of the door. He took his time to walk inside.

Gwen was the first one he saw, he weakly offered her a small smile that clearly didn't quite reach his eyes. She gave him a similar one.

"Is…" he began to ask but trailed off when he saw Arthur sitting at his desk.

"How's Morgana?" Gwen asked, mildly.

"She's fine" he answered, then remembered something. "Could you ask your maidservant to bring her supper, she's asking for more."

"Poor thing." he heard Gwen whisper under her breath. "I'll go fetched it myself."

He didn't object nor argue as he nodded his hand and muttered a thank you. Soon after Gwen left, Arthur cleared his throat. "How is she, really?"

"I don't know?"

"Have you asked her about what happened?" Arthur rose from his seat, walked around it and stood before Merlin.

He nodded, blowing out a forlorn sigh "Yes. But she doesn't want to give me any answers. I'll ask her again tomorrow. She needs all the rest she can get."

"Merlin what happened to you both in the woods?"

"Don't worry yourself over it, Arthur. It was nothing dangerous. But we need to guard our border more carefully. We don't know if Morgause will…"

Arthur held his hand. "It's being taking care of as we speak. Return to your chambers, Merlin, Morgana needs you."

Of all the things Merlin missed, he missed Gaius' company the most. That was why he found himself pushing the door of his room, grimacing when it squealed.

With heavy steps he plopped down one of the chairs, pressing his hands to his face.

"What's troubling you Merlin?" The physician acknowledged the warlock's presence.

He struggled with his words, wondering if it was wise to burden to old man with what he was holding from the rest of his friends. But it was eating at him and he needed someone to listen even if it was only part of the bitter truth.

Before he knew it, the words were tumbling out. "When we reached the castle where Morgause kept Morgana, I split from the others and sneaked inside." Merlin paused. He wasn't accustomed to Arthur witnessing him use magic. It had always been his way of achieving things. He always handled matters single-handedly.

Bewilderment crossed Gaius' face briefly, still he said nothing. "I watched as…Morgause had magically disguised our driver to look like me. She forced Morgana to watch as she sliced his throat open. And I don't know how to feel exactly about it,"


	16. Chapter 16

The sound of the knob twisting and the squealing of the door, were enough to stir Merlin from his slumber. Not quite awake yet, the sleepy warlock licked his dry lips and turned to curl onto his other side. Someone cleared his throat, not far from where Merlin laid, and his eyes fluttered open. He rubbed them lazily, yawing.

He reached his hand to pull the screen, when he heard a voice-he recognized immediately- coming from the other end of the screen.

He froze, eyes widening. But as quickly as the fear came, it was gone, and Merlin inched closer toward the shield separating him from Arthur. The latter was standing by the edge of the bed, where Morgana was currently sprawled upon.

He bended over, his arm was on her shoulder. "Morgana."

A hum was his reward and Merlin watched with utter silence, as the king's features formed an annoyed expression.

"Wake up, Morgana. It's late enough."

"Go away."

That certainly was not the answer Arthur sought, so he shook her shoulder and Morgana slapped his hand way.

"Where is your husband?" Arthur hovered over her and Morgana squinted up at him.

"Who?"

Both Merlin and Arthur rolled their eyes at her response.

Yet Arthur felt a bit ludicrous that he needed to reply to that question. "Merlin."

Her eyes were half opened, a clear sign that Morgana was still caught between unconsciousness and awareness. Her hand shot up, making wide motions. And then she was asleep again.

Arthur groaned and called out her name, loudly, attempting to wake her again.

This time worked, Morgana yawned and Merlin heard Arthur sigh.

The two siblings were now looking at each other. Morgan was sitting and fully awake. She didn't bother to hide her irritation.

"Where is Merlin?" Arthur straightened his shoulders.

She looked around her, eyes roaming over all parts of the chamber. She shrugged and her gaze returned on Arthur. "I don't see him here."

"That's rather obvious, Morgana." He said, "I wouldn't have bothered you, if he was here."

"I was asleep Arthur, how could I possibly have known his whereabouts, if I was asleep?"

He was silent for a moment. Arthur shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "You're his wife, I merely assumed…"

Morgana cut him off, "What this fuss is all about?"

"Merlin was late for the council meeting."

"Is it over?" Seeing the frown that appeared on Arthur's face, Morgana elaborated. "The meeting, is it over?" she got a nod as response "Then there was no need to rouse me." Morgana let an exasperated sigh. "You can leave now Arthur. Worry not; I will make sure to report your complaints to Merlin, once he returns."

"Very well," Arthur took that as his queue to leave. He inhaled and backed away. The door closed with a loud bang. Merlin walked out of his hideout and toward the windows.

"Why are you speaking to him like that?"

"How else do you intend of me to talk to him?"

"You are his sister. His beloved sister." Merlin reminded her, "If you continue such behavior, he'll get suspicious of us. We cannot let that be."

"I'll try to be nicer to him, but perhaps…" Any words she was going to utter next, died when the door was abruptly pushed open, and Arthur barged in.

"There is…" he trailed off, upon seeing Merlin. Arthur scowled. "How did you come inside?"

"Through the door," Merlin replied. "You want something?"

His frown eased and he held a finger to Merlin to silence him, but he averted his gaze into Morgana's direction. "I forget to tell you, Gwen asked me to inform you that she found you a maidservant. She will be sent here with your breakfast…

"But, I did not ask for one," Morgana sniffed, exchanging a quick with Merlin.

"You'll have to sort that with Gwen, I have no knowledge of this." He turned to Merlin. "Meet me in the throne room once the practice with the new knights is over. We need to address your lateness."

Once Merlin was certain that the door was firmly closed, he turned to look at Morgana, only to see her standing up and muttering various words under her breath. "She had absolutely no right to…"

"Morgana," Merlin said gently, "you have no reason to refuse a maid. You have already let the previous one go, and every time Gwen brings the subject of getting you a new one, you…"

She cut him off, sharply: "And for a very good reason, how do assume she would react, if she found you sleeping in here?"

She yanked the screen open, gesturing to the small place he'd been using.

Merlin followed her, as she began to pace in circles in the middle of the room.

"Can you please calm down, just a bit?"

"Calm? I am calm," she yelled, stopping abruptly so that Merlin almost crushed into her. She swirled to face him. "It will ruin everything I have…." she murmured, her voice barely audible.

"We can think of something," Merlin steered her toward the bed.

"Think," Morgana whispered. When Merlin tried to ease her down, she shoved him away. Her eyes moved from her bed, to the space behind the screen. She looked between them for a while. Then her eyes widened and stared at Merlin.

"Morgana?"

Why was she looking at him like that? It was scary.

She suddenly snapped, causing Merlin to jump back. "If you think I will approve to sharing my bed with you, then you are gravely mistaken."

Merlin instinctively backed away even further from her, holding his hands up. "I'm not. The thought didn't even cross my mind."

"Really?" her voice lost its edginess and was currently laced with genuine puzzlement. "Never?"

"Well," Merlin stuttered, feeling his heartbeat quickening. "It's not that…"

Was there a right answer for that question? Even if there was, he definitely couldn't think of one, while she looked at him with that forlorn expression, that her face was showing.

Luckily for him, he didn't have to think of one, because Morgana groaned, huffing in frustration. She started quickly toward the door, "Get out," she held the door open.

"What? What about the servant? Will you be speaking to Gwen?"

Morgana shut the door, taking a deep breath. "No, that won't be of any use. I'm going to kill her."

"What? Gwen?"

Morgana rolled her eyes, reopening the entrance. "Don't be absurd Merlin. I'm talking about the maid."

"The maid?" he echoed, incredulously.

As if that was supposed to soothe his worry, Merlin scoffed. He positioned himself between Morgana and the door, pressing his back to it, thus shutting it once again. "Have you lost your mind? You will not."

She reached for the knob, "Try me."

"Morgana!" he grabbed her arm, pulling it away from the handle. "No, I will not let you harm anyone. Do you understand?"

"Get out, Merlin."

"Why do you want me to leave?"

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Because I need to change and I will not undress while you are still in this chamber. So leave."

"Right. We don't want that to happen…." Again. He was going to say, but he held his tongue before uttering that word, because if he did, the maid wouldn't be the only one that might be killed by Morgana. "I'll go. But remember you promised me you won't harm anyone."

Morgana sighed. "I promised I won't "try" to hurt anyone. There is a difference."

Merlin gave her a pointed look, which she brushed away and tried to open the door again.

Merlin moved, to allow her to do just that. He stepped out of the room and when Morgana was already closing the door, he poked his head inside. "Promise me."

She smiled despite herself and nodded her head twice. "Fine. You have my word. Will you leave now?"

"Of course." And with that he shut the door. Morgana remained in the same position for a brief moment, expecting him to barge in again. Because Merlin wouldn't just trust her to keep her word, would he? Did he have that much faith in her? She honestly didn't know.

She shook her head and headed to her wardrobe. It might be the last time she got to do anything, without a maid trailing after her.

She was sitting by the table, her eyes fixed on her potion, waiting for it to obtain the correct color. She was all by herself in Gaius' quarters.

The maid was everything Morgana had anticipated: dull and useless. She wasn't needed, and her services were certainly unwanted. Morgana had spent the past few years of her life, attending to her own needs. She was capable of making potions, so cooking hadn't been much of an issue. Although it had taken her awhile, but in the end she had managed to get used to it. As for cleaning and washing, they weren't that hard to learn.

Still, she couldn't deny the maid, without a convincing argument. It didn't help, that she couldn't think of one too.

If the problem persisted, she and Merlin would have to reconsider their sleeping arrangement. The thought of that, made her mind recall the night in the woods, where she had spent long hours in his embrace.

She felt the heat rush to her cheeks and heartbeats quickening at the memory.

How reluctant he'd been, as he proposed the idea. The way he'd stammered the words, had been adorable. The blush that had colored his cheeks and ears, was a funny thing to witness, yet unexpected. The guilty and shy look he'd offered her, was breathtaking. She still remembered his hands resting by his sides. She suspected it was because he wanted to honor her wish, which she had regretted uttering, seconds after she had realized what he was doing. His proposition might not have eased the cold, but the position she had found herself in, had successfully managed to take her mind off the chillness, even if it didn't stop the shudders…. Morgana shook her head, cursing herself for agreeing to that silly, foolish and absurd idea. She should have been insulted by it; she should have slapped him for suggesting such outrageous and vile idea.

Because the shudders she had had that night, were not due to the low temperature, but because every time Merlin exhaled, his breath tickled the back of her neck, sending shivers down her spine. She had been disgusted by her reaction, yet she'd been helpless in resisting herself. Even now, sitting in a warm room, completely on her own, the simple thought of that night made her shiver, and when she closed her eyes, she could almost feel….

"Morgana."

Her eyes snapped open. Her legs moving, before her brain managed to grasp what happened. Morgana was on her feet and facing the door.

A hand clutched the fabric of her dress, right above her fast beating heart.

"You startled me! Why didn't you knock?"

Merlin was standing by the door; only his upper body was visible. He was giving her a strange look, Morgana was compelled to touch her cheeks. Was she still blushing? Was it that obvious?

"I did." Merlin answered. "I called your name twice and you didn't reply. Are you alright?"

Morgana hummed, sitting down again.

"Is Gaius here?" he emerged fully into the chambers, both hands hidden behind his back.

"He's not," she replied and was proud that her voice sounded steady. "He's attending to some matters in the city. He left a while back. I doubt you'll manage to reach him before he gets to the gates."

"It's not that urgent," he told her dismissively with a shake of his head.

Attempting to appear indifferent as usual, Morgana refocused her attention on her potion. She assumed that Merlin would leave, yet when she didn't hear the door shutting, she turned and found him standing in the middle of the room, gnawing on his lip.

"Do you require something further?" she asked, even if she had an eerie feeling that he did.

Merlin nodded his head, quickly approaching. He pulled out his hands. The right one was wrapped with blood stained cloth.

It took her all of her strength not to run to him. Instead she remained seated. With all the composure she was able to muster, her voice still quivered when she asked him to come closer to.

"Can you heal it?" Merlin asked.

Morgana gently removed the fabric covering his injury. Inspecting it with genuine worry, Morgana looked up at him. "It needs to be cleaned, before I attempt to heal it."

She got to her feet, clearing off few things from the table. "Sit here." She gave him her chair. "Let me get a rag and some water."

Merlin didn't sit; instead he followed her with his eyes. "I can help."

"Sit Merlin," she said sternly. He conceded and watched her move around, collecting her needed materials.

She came back with a small bowl and the rag. Placing them where she felt was convenient, she reached for a chair and deposited it in front of him. She pulled his hand closer, resting it in her lap. The wound was a big one; running from his shoulder to his elbow.

She pulled him even further, until he was almost bending in his seat. She ripped the sleeveof the shirt. Merlin groaned at that, but looked surprised. "I could have taken the shirt off."

"It's already ruined," Morgana deadpanned. She dipped the cloth in the bowl, dabbing at the excess water. "Do I need to know how this came to pass?"

"No," Merlin winced when the water stung him. If she didn't have a tight grip on his forearm, he would have wriggled his arm from her.

Morgana nodded her head; she tried to be more attentive, not to touch the wound and be more careful to wipe the blood around it. "How did this happen?"

His eyes shut up. "I thought you didn't want to know?"

She leaned forward, "I changed my mind."

"So quickly?" he extended his arm for her.

"I'm very changeable," she smirked mischievously at him.

"Don't I know it?" He matched her smirk with one of his own. "I was in the weapons room; I was careless and got a scratch…"

"A scratch?" she interrupted him, "It's a deep cut, Merlin. Albeit, not a dangerous one. But still, you're bleeding quite a lot.

Merlin tried not to appear taken aback by her concern. "I'll be more attentive next time I find myself around swords."

"You should." She curled the cloth into a ball and stood up, "I have to get another one."

"That won't be necessary," Merlin spoke up and Morgana peered down and only to watch him tear a stain-free part of his shirt and offering it to her.

She raised her eyebrow and Merlin rolled his eyes. "Like you said, it's already ruined."

Morgana eased herself down and took it from him.

Merlin fought down a sigh. "I thought I'd have to beg, to obtain your help."

She furrowed her bow, "Why would you assume that?"

Merlin shrugged his good shoulder. "Well, I imagine you'd rather see me bleed to death, then help me."

At the mention of him bleeding to death, the memory of him in similar situation, jumped before her eyes. Her whole body trembled. "Tempting thought," she swallowed hard. "But it'll surely draw suspicion, if I don't assist you with such simple matter."

"So, that's the mere reason you're helping me?" His question might sound innocent, but the truth it was far from it. He needed to obtain answers.

The entire incident in Morgause's castle had been a complete shock, and it began to stir doubts within him that's why Merlin was questioning everything about Morgana, mainly her motives. Before and after they arrived there.

He wasn't sure how to handle, or address it. He wasn't even certain what 'it' was. Yet a nagging voice, was whispering it wouldn't be something he might like.

His line of thoughts was abruptly put to an end, as pain shot through his shoulder. "Ouch!" He was able to pull away from her this time. "Careful."

She mumbled an apology and continued her work. "Did anyone witness your clumsiness?"

He leaned forward again. "Many knights and Arthur…"

"Arthur was there?" she asked with surprise. Then why wasn't the king with him?

The words left his mouth without thinking. "Who do you think caused this?"

She paused in her motions. "If you obtained this wound with his sword, I fear no amount of healing will be of use."

"No…no." He shook his head. "No, Arthur doesn't use his sword during the training. He knows better."

"I'm sure he does," Morgana said with snicker and pressed the rag closely and not so gently to his wound, earning her a yelp. Merlin jumped to his feet.

"Don't be like that?," she scolded him, dipping the rag into the bowl.

"Well, it hurts."

She fought down a huff of irritation. "Whining about it won't ease the pain. So if you sit…"

"I won't," he interjected, "You find my pain amusing,"

She feigned a gasp, and clasped a hand over her mouth. "I do not."

The glare he sent her, had made the corner of her lips twitch upward, forming a wicked smile. "Perhaps a little."

His glare only intensified at her confession. The statement wasn't what angered him, but the knowledge that it was a lie. Because now, he was seeing Morgana in a different light.

"Alright," Morgana stood up as well, "if you are going to be acting like this, then I won't help you anymore. You can heal it yourself."

She threw the rag onto the bowl, lifted it and started toward the door, but what Merlin added, had her stop.

"Why do you think I came to see Gaius or asked for your help? I can't heal it."

Her mouth was half open; she shook her head, as if to clear it from confusion. "That cannot be. You're Emrys."

He had nothing to respond to what she said.

"You can't heal, or you don't know how?"

"I know a few spells," he replied. "But I never bothered to learn more."

"That's absurd," Morgana said disbelievingly, "How you and Arthur managed to remain alive that long?"

He had two answers for her. "Luck and the great dragon."

She put her hands on her hips. "Not anymore."

"What are you planning on doing?" Merlin inquired, as he let her steer him toward the table.

"I'm going to teach you how to heal."

Merlin emerged from his old chamber, descending the small steps and found Morgana staring at him.

"That's the only shirt you found in there?"

"It was quite the surprise when I saw it too, I can't believe I kept it," he touched the material that covered his neck, "…kept them."

She snorted "I can't believe Gaius reserved them."

He was wearing his red shirt and the neckerchief too. He looked like his old self. He looked like the servant that had betrayed her. And suddenly, she no longer wanted to teach him, or be near him. She stepped away from him, "I'll ask Gaius to locate a few books for you to read. I know a few easily performed spells. However, reading those books is essential, if you wish to master the gift of healing."

The sudden change of her demeanor, hadn't gone unnoticed, and Merlin frowned.

His scowl only deepened, when she yanked the neckerchief from around his neck. "I'm tired; we'll start our lesson tomorrow. You will have the books by evening."

With that said, she turned and headed toward the door. When she opened it, Merlin watched her take one last look at him and then she was gone.

Gaius walked in first, Merlin followed next, shutting the door behind him. He put the bag on the table. "I missed doing this," Merlin said with a nostalgic tone.

Gaius started to empty the contents of the bag. "You missed being a servant? Running around to complete your errands?"

Merlin rolled his eyes and gave his guardian a hand, as he opened a cabinet. "No…yes. It's complicated," he sighed, taking herbs from Gaius and disposing them inside. "I missed helping you. Missed doing things. I don't get the chance to do anything anymore."

Gaius, his eyebrow always up, shook his head, hiding his amusement. "You used to complain constantly, about your never-ending chores assigned to you by Arthur. Or have you forgotten so quickly?"

"I didn't but…"Merlin paused, inhaling deeply.

Gaius noticed that, "Has Morgana said anything yet?"

Merlin shook his head, sitting down. Gaius took the seat across from him. "Don't worry, Merlin. I'm certain she will speak to you, once she's ready." The old man patted Merlin's hands. "She must know you'll suspect things since she is having nightmares again."

"Nightmares?"

"She didn't tell you?" Gaius inquired.

"This is the first time I hear about them," Merlin replied, "Did she tell you of them?"

Gaius pulled his hands away, "To be honest, she did not. I caught her once, making a sleeping potion. I asked her why, that was when she spoke of her bad dreams."

Merlin leaned back in his seat. They had been back for three days now. Two nights had gone by, and not once had she been awakened due to her nightmares. At least he hadn't heard her jolt awake because of them.

But now that Merlin was considering it, he realized that he'd been sleeping well. In fact, the last two nights had been completely calm and he'd not been disturbed. Not only that, but he'd been waking up unusually late.

As he pondered that last thought deeply, Merlin closed his eyes. Had she been sipping him sleeping drafts? Why? And most importantly, how did she manage to do it?

"Merlin." Gaius' voice brought him back from his brief distraction. "Are you alright?"

He gave the old physician a tight smile. "The dinner would be served shortly. Will you be joining the rest of us in the dining room?"

The old man shook his head, as Merlin rose from his seat. "I'm afraid I will not. I'm tired and once I finish arranging these, I will retire for the night."

Merlin nodded his head. "Thank you for informing me about Morgana. Good night, Gaius."

"Good night. Sleep well, Merlin."

"Morgana would make sure of that." Merlin uttered under his breath, once he was outside Gaius' chambers.

Sighing, Merlin decided he'd talk to Morgana, once they were in the privacy of their chambers. Since it was time for supper, he suspected that he'd find her in the dining room. Merlin headed there and when the double doors were opened and he walked in, he only saw the king and queen at the table.

"Where's Morgana?" he asked.

Arthur took a sip from his goblet. But it was Gwen that answered his question. "Her maid has just came in and informed us that Morgana had retired for the night, and that you'd be dining in your chambers."

"She had?" Merlin ran a hand through his hair. "I should probably check up on her. Enjoy your meal, then."

When Merlin entered his chambers, the first think he saw, was Morgana's maidservant.

"Sire," the young woman bowed.

Merlin looked over at the bed and true to the servant's words, Morgana was lying down. Her eyes were closed, but he wasn't sure if she really was asleep.

"How is she?"

"She'd been having backache."

Merlin moved toward her, Morgana was curled onto her side. His fingertips stroked the fabric of her dress, gently pressing against her swollen belly. "Was the healer summoned to attend to her?"

She shook her head. "Lady Morgana refused. But don't worry; I'm sure she's fine. She's not in grave pain; it's simply the discomfort that accompanies childbearing."

"Did she eat?"

"Yes, my lord," she replied.

Taking a quick glance toward the table, he noticed the tray of food. "Return this to the kitchens."

"You won't be eating it, sire?"

After his new discovery, Merlin had lost his appetite, so he shook his head as response. Looking back at the bed, Merlin let a sigh and took the chance that the chamber was empty, and changed into his nightwear.

Light glittered from above her. Her neck ached, as she crooked her head toward it. Muscles protested, but still she looked up.

Was she about to be rescued? Could that be actually happening? Was she dreaming?

Her heart fluttered, her hope renewed. The light burned her eyes. It'd been a long time since she'd seen the sun. Holding her hands up to protect her vision, only to remember the chains, Morgana covered her face as she looked away. Something or someone, shifted not far from her and she peered up. Aithusa whined and then the small dragon released a howl. It was in pain like she was. Morgana tried to calm it, comfort the tormented creature. But, her throat was dry and it made speaking a hard task to achieve. Morgana wetted her lips, sneaking a look up but saw nothing but a white light.

"It's alri..." she trailed off, feeling something shift within her. She couldn't describe it. It was odd. Her breath caught up in her throat, when it happened again. Her gaze drifted down and Morgana froze for the briefest of moments. Time slowed around her and she screamed. It sounded nothing like a scream. Her voice was gruff; it was more like a muffled roar.

"No…" she frantically shook her head. "No…no."

This could not be happening? Not to her! Why her?

She gazed up and still, no-one was there. She tried to stand but couldn't, and she ended up falling on her backside, roughly. Another kick and Morgana clasped a hand over her mouth, suppressing a sob. Her other hand pressed against her stomach. It happened again and this time around, she felt overwhelmed. She started sobbing , tears welled up burning the corners of her eyes.

Her stomach was round and huge. Something was inside it and it was moving. What was happening to her? She couldn't fathom anything? She was with a child?

She sniffed and sucked in a deep breath, then she screamed at the top of her lungs: "EMRYS."

She was mumbling something in her sleep. Whatever she was dreaming about, it did not appear to be pleasant. Merlin lied on his side, staring at her and waiting for her to either wake up or calm down. Neither happened. Her muttering only got louder, and her movements became more frantic, more agitated, that Merlin feared she might inadvertently harm herself.

Just when he was about to make the decision to pull her out of her reverie, she woke up with a start. "Emrys."

She was breathless and she sniffed. When did she start crying?

Should he talk to her? But she thought that he was under the influence of a sleeping draft, thus he couldn't say anything. The entire room was drowning in darkness, despite that; he could still make out her profile. He saw her turn her head in his direction. Merlin snapped his eyes shut. He waited for her do something; react to the fact that he was in her bed. But she didn't. Instead he felt the bed shift, the crying eased into hiccups and sniffs. He hesitated before opening his eyes to look at her. She was sitting at the edge of the bed, her back to him.

After a while she became quiet. She'd stopped crying and if she wasn't sitting, Merlin might have assumed that she'd fallen asleep again.

She moved and suddenly her hand was on his chest. He shut his eyes.

He could feel her breath on him, which meant that her face was only inches away from his.

"Merlin," she whispered and he shamelessly ignored her. "Merlin," she said once more, then she stopped trying to wake him up. He felt more pressure on his chest and her hair, then suddenly, was touching his face.

What the hell was she doing?

"I know you're awake, Merlin."

What?

Still he kept both his eyes and mouth closed.

"Merlin," she said sternly, moving away, but she kept her hand on the left side of his chest. "Either you've died because you're not breathing."

He didn't realize that he'd stopped breathing. Morgana continued. "Which is not possible, because your heart sounds like it's about to burst out of your chest. Or…" she didn't finish.

"I'm awake," he admitted and his eyes fluttered open. "I'm sorry I slept here. I was going to pretend to be asleep, until Anne finished her chores, then before she arrived in the morning, I'd move again. But I fell asleep and I just woke up because you're…"

"So you heard that?" she cut in, putting an end to his rambling.

Merlin hummed, and sat. "That you were mumbling in your sleep, because you were having a nightmare? No, I didn't."

She laughed softly and then she sniffed. Perhaps she hadn't stopped crying completely. "I'm sorry."

"Do you want to speak about it? Your nightmares, I mean."

"No," he could feel her shake her head next to him.

"How about we speak of something else? Anything. Whatever you wish," he suggested.

"I'd rather sleep," she sneered.

"Yes. Sleep is good. Sleep is better," he murmured, "Or you can…"

"Stop talking so I can sleep," she said, "You lay here. Just stay on your side on the bed and don't touch me."

"I understand."

Morgana lied down; Merlin continued to sit, leaning his back against the headboard.

"You said Emrys, just before you woke up. Were you dreaming about me?"

She snorted, "Don't flatter yourself, Merlin and no, you weren't a part of it."

He nodded his head. They couldn't see each other's expressions. More light was required in the room, he wasn't sure if Morgana would approve however. "Then why did you utter my name?"

"I told you, I don't want to speak about my nightmare."

"You said you didn't dream about me, so we can talk about it."

Annoyed, Morgana sighed loudly. "Well it's related to my dream, which means I still won't say a word about it."

He turned his face to look at her. "Whether you choose to tell me or not, I want to say I'm sorry, because whatever you were dreaming about, it didn't sound pleasant."

There was a pause. Morgana cleared her throat. "It happened because of you, so you should be sorry. In fact you should apologize numerous times, and hope that I could forgive you."

He wanted to ask her if it was something he'd done, why she had said Emrys, Why not Merlin. However he held his tongue.

"Well, how am I supposed to know how many times I need to apologize, if I'm ignored to of the crime I've committed?"

"Apologize twice a day, for the rest of your life, then I might consider the possibility of forgiving you. Now, goodnight."

Merlin didn't say anything and neither did Morgana. They silently lied down, not facing each other.

"I was told that someone called Emrys would be my doom." Morgana started talking. She spoke with a calm tone and that it surprised Merlin. "When?"

"Four years ago. Perhaps even more." She didn't turn to look at him. "When I was captured by the Sarrum, they were days…months maybe, when I've lost hope of ever being rescued. In my nightmare," she trailed off and cleared her throat. "It's more of a memory, really. There was a burning light, I couldn't see anyone, but I prayed it'd be Emrys."

As if sensing where the conversation would be heading toward, Merlin tried to stop her. He didn't want to know anymore. "Morgana…"

She ignored his plea. "During those two years, I've known nothing but agony, Merlin and I was confident that I'd never leave my captivity. So I waited for you. For Emrys-" she amended. "To be my doom. To kill me. To stop the pain. But…"

She didn't finish, yet he knew exactly what her words would be.

With a heavy heart, he said. "It's that why you blame me? Why you wanted to kill Emrys?"

Her laugh sounded forced. "No, that's not why I hated Emrys, Merlin. But I blame you because if I wasn't weak, the Sarrum would never have captured me. I lost my magic, that's how he managed to do it. Do you remember how I lost it, Merlin?"

Of course he did. He was the one who'd done in the first place. "I'm sorry."

"I expect another apology later today. Don't forget," she told him coldly.

Morgana glanced through the window, trying to catch a glimpse of Merlin. Their first lesson would begin when he returned from his patrol with some knights.

Faint sounds played in the background, as her maid cleaned the room behind her. There was a knock at the door; she ignored it, letting the servant take care of it.

"You majesty." Morgana heard and she turned just in time to see her maid get up from her curtsey, and proceed to opening the door fully, so Gwen could enter.

"Good morning," the queen greeted the maid and then did the same to Morgana, who responded with a nod of her head. "You didn't come for breakfast this morning."

"I'm sure I wasn't missed," Morgana shrugged, "What brings you here?"

Gwen's fingers intertwined together, as she moved slowly toward Morgana who remained close to the window. "There are some matters I wish to discuss with you…"

Morgana cut her off, "I would love to, but as you see I'm fairly busy at this moment."

Gwen scowled at that, looking around her, "Doesn't appear to be so."

"Are you calling me a liar?" Morgana folded her hands over her chest, her eyes narrowed.

Her mouth fell instantly, and Gwen walked even further toward Morgana, "I did no such thing." The queen regarded her with genuine surprise. "Is something the matter, Morgana? You have been acting oddly as of late. You rarely come to see me anymore."

Morgana breathed out a laugh, "Perhaps, I simply do not wish to be graced with your company."

A gasp was emitted from their left, and both royal ladies turned to see the maid covering her mouth, a small blush on her face.

Morgana pursed her lips together, regarding the woman up and down. "You're listening on us?"

The servant kept her head down, "I'm sorry milady. I didn't intend?…"

"Enough!" Morgana held her hand up, the scared woman looked up slowly, and hesitantly, she began to nod her head, her eyes were glittering, she was on the verge of crying.

"It's quite alright," Gwen said gently, trying to calm her, but Morgana scoffed.

"No, it is not, if…" she trailed off, hearing a commotion coming from the outside. The corners of her mouth curved upward, seeing that Merlin was among the knights standing outside. He was back.

She straightened her shoulders and looked directly into her maid's eyes. "You lack the proper manners." Her gaze averted to settle on Gwen, "Perhaps you can teach her few of those. After all you were the perfect maid I have ever had."

The queen's eyes doubled in size. She looked at her husband's sister, with utter bafflement at her statement. "Morgana!"

Knowing that Merlin would be heading toward Gaius' chamber, Morgana walked past the two shocked women. "Well, I shall leave you. Gwen, make sure she's ready by the time I return. And you," her next words were addressed to her maid, "Listen attentively to what she has to say."

When Morgana was by the door, she opened it and without bothering to look behind her, she spoke her last insult. "Be careful not to teach her how to steal a king's heart."

Merlin was already inside, waiting for her when she got there. Her mood had been improved after her small chat with the queen. So when she stood in front of him, with her big smile and bright eyes, Merlin was surprised.

"Everything's alright?"

"Certainly. Everything is absolutely splendid." She sighed, "Are you ready for your first lesson?"

"I am." Merlin closed the book he was holding. "I've taken a look on some of the books, but there are few spells that are hard to pronounce, let alone perform."

She shook her head, "Don't worry, you'll get used to them. Today we won't try anything difficult; we'll start with the easy ones."

They were now sitting on his small bed, inside his old chamber, with a small space between them. Merlin's hand was on top of Morgana's; with her right one, she reached for a knife resting on her side. She had already released it from its sheath. "You memorized the spell?" at his nod, Morgana brought the tip of the dagger to his palm and slowly made a three inch long cut. "Now heal it." she instructed, wiping the blood from the blade.

Merlin examined his hand closely, while Morgana stood next to him with a neutral look on her face.

It took few unsuccessful tries, before Merlin managed to master the spell. Morgana stroked the skin where the cut had been. "Well done."

Despite the small achievement, Merlin was proud. So was Morgana, even if she refrained from showing it.

"This spell is quite useful for similar injuries. Unfortunately, you cannot use it for fatal wounds, broken bones or internal bleeding," she explained.

"And it will take some time, to come cross these sorts of injuries. Well, the broken bones can be easily arranged for. They are not that hard to cause, and won't stir any unwanted suspicions. As for the other ones, we will have to wait and see."

Nodding his head at her, Merlin said, "Perhaps Gaius can help as well."

"Ask him later," she rubbed a lazy circle on her protruding abdomen. "I'm hungry. I'm going to see if they have anything to eat down in the kitchens. You continue reading those books. We'll try to figure a solution to our small problem once I return."

"How did Morgause teach you?"

"She didn't," Morgana answered bitterly, "Her magic was weak and she was dying. I had to learn on my own."

"How did you do it?"

"It's wasn't that hard to be honest," she confessed, "At least that how it was to me. Perhaps you'll share my opinion once you practice enough."

She left and Merlin took the book he'd been reading, when she'd entered earlier. He skipped few pages, focusing on some complicated spells.

"There you are!" Arthur exclaimed, walking inside.

Merlin shut the door quickly. "I didn't know you were looking for me."

Arthur placed his sword on the bed. "I wasn't. I met Morgana; she told me you're here. I thought I'd come and see how are you doing?"

"We are making a progress here," he told him, honestly.

Arthur was aware of what they were doing down there. So he didn't need to worry about what the king might think.

"The practice's over?"

Arthur nodded his head. "Yes. Gwaine is starting to lose his shape."

"From the way he drinks; I'm not surprised, it didn't happen sooner."

Morgana took a bite from her apple and chewed on it.

Arthur rolled his eyes and Morgana walked past him, then she went and stood next to the bed. She had a bowl of apples in her hand.

"You want one?" she asked Arthur who said 'yes'.

She tossed him one and pushed Arthur's sword, when she tried to sit down next to Merlin.

"So how's everything going?" Arthur asked.

"Slowly," she replied and handed one apple to Merlin, even though his didn't ask for one. She leaned over; her lips were next to his ear. "Do you remember the spell I told you about? The one I used after Mordred stabbed me?" She made sure that Arthur didn't hear a word of what she was whispering to Merlin.

Merlin turned to her and hummed at her.

Morgana straightened her shoulders, "Good."

Arthur was regarding them with a frown on his face. "Why are you whispering?"

Morgana smiled sweetly at him. "No reason. Merlin and I have a problem concerning a few spells."

"Anything I might assist you with?" The king asked.

Merlin looked at her with confusion. He has no idea what she was trying to do.

"Actually-" Morgana glanced at Merlin, her smile transformed into a smirk. "-there is." She stood up and gestured for Arthur to come closer.

It happened so fast, one moment Morgana was watching her half-brother move toward her and the next, she was snatching the sword and in a swift move she thrust it into Arthur's abdomen.

The injured man released a cry, as he fell to the ground. Morgana took a step back. Her eyes sought Merlin's. "Heal!" she ordered.

But Merlin was frozen, either it was with fear or shock, he didn't know. He couldn't move any of his limps. Arthur groaned and it shook him out of his daze. Quickly Merlin was crouching by his side and mumbling words. His hands hovered over the wound. The sword was still shoved into his stomach.

"Focus, Merlin. Remove the sword first," he heard Morgana's voice and he spun around to face her. White fury consuming him.

"Focus that anger and use it to save him," she instructed, but he was fuming and couldn't think of anything else. Another whine erupted from Arthur's lips and Merlin broke the eye contact and fixed his gaze at his friend.

Merlin ran to his side again, and suddenly Morgana was kneeling by his side. Her hands reached for the sword.

"What are you doing?" Merlin tried to stop her but using her magic, Morgana was able to push him away.

She put both of her hands on the wound and cast a spell. By the time Merlin was back on his feet again, Morgana was standing up.

"Help him up," she told Merlin, who saw that Arthur was breathing normally. He was no longer bleeding.

When Arthur got to his feet, he glared at Morgana who merely shrugged. "I thought you said you'd give me a sign."

"I did," she grinned and Arthur shook his head at her.

"I can't believe I was wrong."

She had blood on her hands; Morgana wiped them in her dress. "You should know better than to bet against me, Arthur."

"What's going on here?" Merlin, confused, asked.

"We made a bet," Arthur replied touching the whole in his shirt. "Well, I was the one who suggested it. Morgana told me about the problem you're having. She said that it'd might take a while, before you could be ready, while I told her that since you're born with magic, then you could do anything."

"So you made a bet. And you lost."

Arthur breathed out a sigh. "I'm quite disappointed, Merlin. I was really looking forward to naming your first-born."

Merlin's eyes widened slightly and he directed them on Morgana, who was still smiling. "Since you won, what do you get out of this wager?"

Arthur cringed while Morgana threw her head back and laughed.

"You really don't want to know, Merlin," the king said.

Morgana held her hands out. "Give me a hand, Merlin."

The man in question, absently helped her to her feet.

"Thank you." She said and planted a kiss on his cheek, whispering. "You have no idea how much I've longed to do that."

Her slender fingers caressed his cheek, as she wiped away the peck she'd just given him. Turning away from Merlin, Morgana linked her arm with Arthur's. "Would you accompany me out of here, dear brother?"

Arthur gave her a smile and slight bow, "Of course, Milady."

"Merlin, be a dear, and clean that pool of blood. We wouldn't want to worry Gaius, wouldn't we?"

"Yeah, I'll do that."

With his mouth ajar, Merlin watched the two siblings leave his old room, acting as if nothing had happened.

Her arm was still linked to his, when they made their way out of the physician's chambers. Morgana was trying to come up with an excuse, to pull away from him. But when they reached the empty corridor, Arthur stopped abruptly and stood before her. "Did you notice anything odd about Merlin?"

Well that certainly wasn't expected. "No. Is something wrong?"

Arthur sighed, "I don't know. He used to teach some of our knights, the ones that have magic," he clarified, "But He hadn't attended to them for a while now. It's as if he'd forgotten completely about them."

Morgana frowned, crossing her arms over her chest and feigning ignorance. "He hasn't told me anything. If you want, I can talk to him and learn the reason why."

"Yes. Please do," Arthur said in a voice filled with relief.

…

They were gathered around the tall table, all five of them; Arthur, Gwen, Mordred, Merlin and Morgana. It was going nicely, except for the fact that Merlin hadn't touched his bowl, and was staring blankly at Morgana. A small frown was on his face. He seemed oblivious to all the worried glances that were being sent his way.

She was a complete mystery to him; Merlin thought. A moment, she'd be acting all sweet and kind like the Morgana who'd helped him hide young Mordred. And then, all of the sudden, she'd do something so cruel and she'd turn into the cold-hearted woman he'd been trying to stop for years.

What had happened in his old chamber, was all the proof he needed. She was teaching him how to heal but then she was trying to kill Arthur.

It started as a suspicion, that slowly became a certainty. A thought that he'd been pondering for few hours, now. Morgana seemed to be trying to do all sort of horrible things. She was doing them on purpose; as if she wanted him to hate her.

Why? He didn't have the slightest idea.

"Merlin." Morgana's voice rang in his head and he shook his head to focus his vision.

"Are you alright, Merlin? You've barely eaten anything." It was Gwen who asked.

Merlin stood up abruptly. "I need some air." And he ran out of there.

Merlin rested his head against the wall. Memories were flooding through his mind. Things that Morgana had done and said, were replaying before his eyes and he felt as though his head was about to burst.

There was something, that he'd been trying to deny since that night at Morgause's castle. Morgana's reaction and its true motives.

Steady footsteps approached him; Merlin pushed away from the wall and saw that it was Morgana.  
"Are you alright?" The genuine concern that washed over her expression was puzzling.

"Arthur is suspecting something. He wanted to come after you. He might be following me."

Whatever impulse had driven him to kiss her, was lost in the reality of mouth against mouth. He'd expected her to resist -proving that his assumption, that Morgana bore feelings for him, was void- or to answer with fire and passion –which would only verify his fear. Merlin wholeheartedly wished for the former to happen. To find her so soft, yielding, unsteady, had his own desire building up in a way he'd never expected. It was as though she'd never been kissed before, never been held close to explore what man and woman have for each other. Yet, she was the Lady Morgana, he reminded himself. She was young, beautiful. There was no hesitation, as her arms found their way around his neck.

The longer he held her, the more he wanted. He'd never felt like that before. But a part of him, he quite understood, held back, demanded restraint. Her actions weren't of someone filled with hatred. She wanted him. He even dared to say, she loved him- he could feel it. But even as his blood began to swim, his hands, as if under their own power, eased her away. He finally remembered why he'd kissed her. At least one of those reasons was standing with an irritated look on his face.

Feelings, so long unstirred, churned in her. As she stared back at him, Morgana felt them spring to life, with all their demands and risks. It wouldn't happen to her again. But even as she renewed the vow, she felt the soft, fluttering longing surge through her. It couldn't happen again.

But as he stood there, breathless, Merlin saw that the eyes that were wide and on his, reflected confusion, hurt and hope. It was a combination that left Merlin shaken.

"Is this why you two run out of there?" Arthur spoke with his hands over his chest, he didn't look amused, not the slightest.

Morgana didn't trust her voice, and thankfully Merlin took care of it. "Sorry Arthur. It won't happen again."

The king rolled his eyes. "I've heard that before Merlin. Just carry on whatever you were about to do, in the privacy of your chambers."

The heat rushed through his face. "We were not…It's not what you think-"

Arthur hummed and shook his head. "Good night. Both of you."

When Arthur was gone, they finally looked at each other. Morgana brought her chin up and straightened her shoulders. Perhaps she'd lost control of many things, but she could still control her heart. "Let's hope that dear brother of mine, has believed our small act. Hopefully, it'll ease the suspicions."

He nodded his head. "You-we should get some sleep," he told her, and took care not to touch her again.

"Of course. We shall head back to our quarters."

The trip back was…Merlin struggled to find the correct word to describe it. Morgana was acting as if nothing had transpired between them. She was speaking about the spells they would be practising the following day, enumerating them and rambling about how difficult they were.

He was half listening, but he couldn't really focus on nothing but that kiss. Because to be honest, he'd just kissed the lady Morgana. 'Snogged' would be the correct word.

She was his nemesis. She had been for a long time now. He wanted to talk about it.

When the door was shut behind him, Merlin realized that they had reached their destination. Why was she acting so casually? Was she pretending?

"What was that?" Merlin looked up and saw Morgana looking back at him with confusion.

Oops! Did he say that out loud?

"Nothing… I was just thinking," he trailed off.

Oh, the hell with it, Merlin thought. Enough with lies, time for the truth. "You were not pretending?" he cringed at the way he said it. It sounded like an inquiry.

"What are you talking about?"

Merlin took a deep breath, exhaled it. Then he took another one. When he spoke again, he was confident, certain. "You were not pretending."

"I still don't understand a word of what you're saying."

"Do you fancy me, Morgana?" that wasn't what he wanted to say. Still it was close.

He watched as her whole body went rigid. All color drained from her face, her mouth opened and closed. She blinked, repeatedly.

"Have…" she swallowed the lump in her throat. "Have you gone mad?"

"Stop lying!" he demanded, taking a step in her way but she took one back. "I know what happened while you were captured by Morgause."

She shook her head, her eyes sought the door. And she looked as if she wanted to run out of there. "Nothing happened."

"I was there; I saw everything with my own eyes."

Tears welled up in her eyes, Merlin continued to talk. "You were grieving, mourning."

"Please stop," she pleaded, her voice quivering. Another step closer to her.

"You were crying and lamenting my death."

"Not true."

Her cheeks were wet with tears. "There were tears of happiness. It was a joyful day."

He felt sickened with what he was doing to her.

One more step. The distance separating them grew shorter. Her eyes were drifting between him and the door.

"Admit it. You care about me. Just say it. Tell me." And ease my torment. He wanted to say. He couldn't let his mind think, what it meant if she truly had feelings for him.

"Please, Merlin, don't make me do that."

Whatever happened, whatever he had to do, Merlin was determined to get his answers before the night died.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 : The C Word.**

* * *

His plan to obtain answers, simply, failed. Because the moment, her back hit a wall, leaving her with no more space, her eyes rolled to the back of her head, her legs gave in and Morgana fell to the floor.

Luckily, Merlin was standing closer to her. When that happened, instinctively, his legs and hands worked quickly, enabling him to reach her, before her unconscious body was met with hardness of the cold floor beneath them.

Under her heavyweight, Merlin sunk to the ground, pulling Morgana slowly with him. Her head leaned against his chest, her legs intertwined awkwardly with his.

"Morgana?" he whispered her name softly, receiving nothing but dead silence from her.

He drew her closer to him, wrapping a hand around her shoulders, the other one worked on her legs, until Morgana was in his lap.

He sighed. Titling her head toward his, he saw her tears tained face. The sight made his heart clench.

"I'm sorry."

He knew that the words needed to be said under different circumstances; one when Morgana was actually capable of hearing those words and hopefully accepting them.

They stayed a moment on the floor, with him staring at her face. Thoughts were churning through his mind, as he searched for answers and ways to dissolve the entire matter.

He needed to get them out of that position, before someone walked through the door, to find them like that. It'd be hard to explain how they ended up there.

He managed to get to his feet and carry her to the bed. She still didn't stir, even after he laid her gently on the mattress. His gaze shifted to her night-stand, he needed to wake her up and make sure she was fine.

Thinking that she might at least have something with a strong odor, Merlin went through her various collections of bottles and vials, until he settled on one. Returning to her side, he uncovered it and lowered it to her nose.

She frowned, titling her head away from the smell. Moments later, her eyes fluttered open. He pulled the bottle away.

"Are you alright?" Merlin asked her, handing her a goblet of water. The bed shifted as he sat on its edge.

Morgana rubbed her eyes, clearing her throat. She accepted the goblet from him. "Fine. Why? What happened?" she sipped from her water.

Her memory was hazy, she didn't remember.

Morgana sensed his hesitation; she eyed him skeptically, before taking another sip. Upon swallowing it, she blinked twice, eyes still narrowed from the fuzziness clouding them. She leaned toward the right, wanting to place her chalice on the wooden stand, when Merlin spoke again.

"You fainted."

The instant the words left his lips, her eyes widened as though she recalled the ordeal.

The grip she'd had on the cup loosened and she almost dropped it. Yet, Merlin's hand was suddenly wrapped around hers, offering the strength she seemed to lose unexpectedly. She flinched upon the contact and he took notice of it. Still, he helped her finish the small task. His hand remained on top of hers, for the briefest of moments, before he gave it a little squeeze and pulled away.

When his eyes settled on her face, she was staring at him. Her green eyes blazed him; they were so intense, that he couldn't hold her gaze. He looked away.

"No." she was fiddling, showing how nervous she was, in spite of the earnestness her features were displaying.

"No? No, what?" He turned his head toward her.

Her hands went still and she rested them flatly on her belly; "Why would you ask such thing?"

"Does that mean that you don't fancy me?"

"Of course, I don't fancy you." The word 'fancy' was spoken with disgust.

Instead of reminding her how her answer contradicted her reaction to his question, Merlin smiled at her; not the happy, relieved and the 'I-believe-you' kind of smiles, but a smile nevertheless. "Are you sure you're alright? I can bring Gaius here."

"That won't be necessary." She said slowly. "I'm fine."

"That's good to hear." He stood up and without saying another word, he was gone.

* * *

Morgana stayed awake, not for lack of trying, really. Between waiting for Merlin to return and the restlessness of her child, who seemed all too aware of the emotional struggle his mother was currently having, since he just couldn't stop kicking her, she just couldn't find it within her to fall asleep before settling everything with Merlin.

It'd been over two weeks since the incident with Morgause; still, Merlin hadn't mentioned anything about his presence during his supposed murder. It made her question his patience, wonder how long he'd been watching her, observing her and trying to find solid arguments to hold his newly found discovery.

But whatever she had absently done or said, additionally to witnessing her beg Morgause to spare his life, Merlin must've been rather certain for him to interrogate her, concerning her feelings toward him.

She'd been thinking, excessively. She realized that she'd been stupid for not noticing the obvious signs that had been present in front of her, from the moment both; she and Merlin, had been separated from Arthur and the rest of the knights back in that forest.

She should have founded it strange that he'd been willing to stay with her.

Of course she should have. He'd chosen her over his destiny. Over Arthur.

If that wasn't an enough proof that something was amiss, then she didn't know what else.

Morgana groaned, titling her head and taking another glance outside.

She pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes, her elbows on the table.

It was almost quiet outside, seeming as though the entire castle had retired for the night. However, Merlin was yet to show her his face. Her maid had already finished taking care of everything for the day.

"Where the hell are you, Merlin?" she whispered mostly to herself.

A male voice sounding from the left, startled her so bad that she jumped. Her entire body jerked and as a result, she bumped her knees against the table.

"Here."

The gasp, she released upon hearing his voice, died as she bit her bottom lip, wincing from the pain that shot through her legs.

"Merlin!" she rubbed the spot that made contact with table. "You frightened me."

What was it with him and his ability to catch her off guard? It was the second time in a matter of two days, that he'd snack up on her like that.

"Sorry. I thought you were asleep. I didn't want to disturb you."

"You succeeded." She remarked snidely, standing up. "Where have you been?"

Merlin shrugged, "I had some errands Gaius asked me to finish for him. Afterwards, I…I needed to clear my mind, I walked around the castle. I simply lost track of time."

Oh, she knew exactly what he needed to clear his mind of. "And? Did you clear your mind?"

His lips twitched upward. His smile looking pained and so wrong, that it made her skin crawl. "Yes. Everything is fine at this moment."

"Do you wish to speak of it?"

Merlin didn't respond at first. All along he had kept his gaze fixed to her face. "Like I said, I've already figured everything out."

"Oh?" she breathed out. Her eyes searched his, only to find that his face had become expressionless. It showed nothing. "Are you certain?"

He gave her a dismissive look, "Quite. Why? Is there something you want to tell me?"

"No," Morgana shook her head, gripping the edge of the table tightly. "So everything is fine?"

"Nothing has changed." Was his response.  _What the hell was he trying to do?_

She'd do anything to know what was going through that mind of his.

She snapped her head toward him, when he spoke up.

"Really? Then why are you still awake?" He had his arms crossed and chin jutted out in defiance.

She released the table, backing away from it. "Couldn't sleep." She explained. Her gaze darted briefly toward her belly, then it went to the bed. "I thought that I'd wait for you. Now that you're here…." She licked her bottom lip, not finishing her thought.

She heard him sigh.

"I'm tired." Merlin said calmly. "I think I'll retire for the night."

"So will I." Morgana agreed instantly.

They both took a step back from each other. Since Morgana had already changed into her nightwear, she went straight to her bed and Merlin toward the closet. She pulled the covers, and fixed her pillow. She'd just sat down on the edge of the matters when she heard it.

The door's chamber opened, then closed.

Merlin had left.

* * *

Merlin gently shut the door that led to his small chamber back in Gaius room. He didn't want to wake the old man up at that late hour. The warlock hopped that he'd be able to sneak out, before Gaius wake up and discover his presence, because explaining would be a rough thing to do.

He lied on the bed, hands crossed behind his head, as he stared at the ceiling. An annoying squeal of the door of the physician's chamber, was loud enough to reach his ears. He propped on his elbows, blinking twice in the dark.

And he waited.

He expected to hear someone attempting to wake Gaius, maybe in need of something. However, it was the absolute silence that followed that sound.

He stood on the threshold of his chambers, his eyes searching for the intruder, yet finding nothing unusual.

Gaius slept undisturbed in his bed.

Everything seemed in order.

When Merlin made a final scan of the room, he noticed light filtering through a small crack of the front door.

So, he wasn't imagining things after all. Someone had, indeed, come in there.

He descended the steps, quietly making his way toward the door, with the intention of closing it. A shadow moved from behind the entrance, and Merlin found himself yanking the door opened.

He came face to face with Morgana, who looked as surprised to see him standing there, as he was.

"This was a bad idea." She said waving her hands around.

Merlin turned to close the door, then glanced at her again. "Why is that?"

"Because I just remembered that I needed to walk the entire distance between my chamber and Gaius' once again." She replied quietly.

"It's that long, huh?"

She disregarded his amusement. "It's not the matter of the length that annoys me. But the stairs could be quite hard to use in my situation. Though, ascending or descending them can be equally tiring, I always find it easier to go up, instead of down. At least I can see the steps better, without my belly blocking the view." she paused taking a deep breath.

He smiled at her babble. "Why are you here, then?"

"No reason." she exclaimed, nervously. "No reason." She repeated, this time her voice was lower.

"Really?"

"No, I simply forgot."

"You forgot the reason that brought you here?" He asked with a slight grin. "How unfortunate."

Morgana glared at him. "Good night." She spun around, walking away from him.

"Morgana, wait." He called out for her, forgetting completely about Gaius. "Let me escort you back to your chambers."

She stopped, glancing at him, as he quickly walked to her. "You don't have to."

"I insist." He took a step ahead of her.

"Go back inside, Merlin. You don't have to do that for me."

"I'm not. I have to put the safety of my unborn child beforehand." Merlin started to move and Morgana had no choice but to follow him.

"I'd thank you, if it was my safety you were worried about as well." She caught up with him, watching as his lips twitched upward.

"The child's safety depends on yours" He remarked dryly.

They turned on the corner, noticing a knight approaching, coming their way. Merlin acknowledged him with a nod, Morgana scowled at her 'husband'.

"So your offer was based on necessity, rather than actual desire to help me?"

He didn't answer.

Morgana didn't press him.

They reached the stairs, Merlin chanced a glance toward her, before he wrapped one hand around her waist, his other hand found hers. He gripped it tightly.

Together, they took the first step.

"When I mentioned my trouble with stairs," Morgana said with a look of derisive, she knew Merlin wouldn't be able to see. "I wasn't implying my incapacity. I've been with child for over a month now, I've gotten used it. Everything that comes with carrying a child, I've gotten used to it." She reached down to try to pry Merlin's fingers off her hands, but he didn't budge. "Let go of me."

"I will."

"I don't need your help." Morgana grunted, sounding a bit breathless.

"I know you don't." Merlin replied. They stopped half way to the top of the stairs; Morgana muttered "this is utterly absurd."

They resumed their journey back to her room, silently. Neither of them said a word to one another, until Morgana finally broke the silence.

She had already stopped trying to loosen his fingers, looking up to meet his eyes unflinchingly. "You're aware that you needn't to walk me all the way to the threshold of my chambers."

Merlin hummed, opening the door for her and freeing her at last. "I don't mind."

Morgana stepped inside, Merlin stayed on the other side of the door. They stood facing each other.

"Listen." Morgana didn't seem to know what to say after that so they were back in silence for several minutes, her mouth opening and closing for couple of times, before she winced. "Why….why did you do it?"

She shook her head as if to focus her mind. She took a step forward, but just as she did so, she realized what she'd done and she took another one back. "Why did you kiss me?"

All signs of mirth faded, replaced by a frown. "Do I require a reason to show affections toward my wife?" his tone remained teasing.

"You certainly require one to explain why you will not be spending the night with your wife." She countered.

Merlin took her answer as a sign that this conversation needed to be taken inside. "Let's not talk in the corridor any longer."

Inwardly, she agreed. Steeping aside, she provided him with enough space to walk inside, before she slammed the door shut.

"I don't think it's wise for us to …."

She scoffed, walking around him. Her eyes blazed his. "You were the one who kissed me. I should be the one to be offended by what you've done."

"I don't wish to start a quarrel at this late hour. We will speak of this in the morning." He inched toward the door.

"You are not leaving this room, until you give an honest answer." She hissed. "Why the hell did you kiss me?"

"Honestly?"

She nodded, despite feeling like she'd completely regret wanting the truth.

"It was a test."

"A test?" she echoed ludicrously.

"Yes. Morgana. A test." He leaned against the entrance, his hands hidden behind his back.

"So did I fail this test of yours?" She asked, clasping her hands together, to stop herself from fidgeting.

He shook his head, heaving a sigh. "It's not that sort of tests."

"What kind is it, then?"

"The kind, that offers no reasonable explanation, at least, not in this situation." He explained. His eyes boring into hers, as if trying to gauge her reaction.

She furrowed her brow, her head titled to the side. "Then why did you kiss me, if it answers nothing?"

"Because I wanted to."

She flinched visibly; she averted her gaze to her right, then back at him. "No, you didn't." her voice sounded a bit angry.

"No, I didn't." Merlin admitted, placing his palms on the door and pushing himself away from it, straightening his shoulders. His eyes remained locked on her face, not once did they waver away.

He ignored the fearful look that washed over her features, before it faded into one of pure determination.

"However, I can't deny that I quite enjoyed it." He added, testily.

He was getting on her nerves; they were both aware of that.

Her heart pounded in her chest, the fast rhythm echoing in her ears, and it took all of her self-control to stop herself from believing those words. "You did?" She wet her lips and her eyes gazed briefly toward his mouth, to settle finally on his lips, before meeting his eyes again.

Morgana shrugged one shoulder with her hands on her lips and tight lines around her mouth. "I wish I could say the same."

Merlin smirked, his eyebrows went up. "You wish?"

Realizing what she's said, a small blush colored her cheeks and Morgana found herself rushing to explain. "What I meant to say is that; I unlike you didn't find the kiss pleasant or enjoyable."

There was a pause during which they both stood awkwardly, regarding each other.

Morgana sent him a baleful look. She waited, staring him in the eye, knowing he would break long before she did. "You're safe and sound. I shall bid a goodnight."

"What?" Morgana held her hand out as to stop him, but withdrew it before in touched his. "Are you still determined to spend the night in your old chambers?"

"Yes. I need time to think."

She narrowed her eyes, "That wasn't what you said earlier. Tell me what is it that bothers you, perhaps I could be of assistance."

"I can't…" Merlin winced as Morgana crossed her arms over her chest. "It's complicated."

"Is it now? Then uncomplicated it, Merlin." Morgana yelled.

"You don't have to raise your voice." Merlin matched her tone, "There is no reason for anyone to hear us."

She laughed humorlessly, throwing her head back and moving to the center of the room.

"You're worried about a few knights hearing our dispute; yet, you do not consider what would be said about us, if anyone would learn that you passed the night elsewhere."

"I don't care." Merlin pressed his lips together.

"You should." She pulled a chair, and then sat down hands folded in her lap.

"As far as we're concerned," he replied calmly, "it's nothing but a mere disagreement between a husband and his wife."

"A husband and wife?" she asked ridiculously, snorting at him. She rose to her feet, hastily.

"Husband and wife?" she repeated angrily. "It's a lie, Merlin. Everything around us is, simply, a lie! None of this is truly real." Her hands gestured between the two of them, emphasizing her words. "I am not your wife and you, most definitely, are not my husband."

"But you want me to be."

It happened so fast; he couldn't have stopped even if he tried.

"Don't." she interjected, her voice so small. "Do not say that, ever again. I believe that I have already made myself quite clear on that matter, Merlin. I have absolutely no desire to speak of it once again. You wished for an answer, you already got one. I do not fancy you. You are nothing but a low pathetic servant and the only feeling I bore toward you, is pure hatred." Though this time, her voice sounded sharper and more confident, she looked just as unsure as she felt and that somehow, it made his heart cringe with guilt. He touched his face, the tingling feeling causing him to rub the cheek where she'd just slapped him.

Scratching the back of his neck awkwardly with his other hand, he cleared his throat. "I should not have said that," He told her, "though it doesn't make what I said any less real."

She clenched her jaw, tempted to slap the other side of his face. "Have you not been listening, or do you just want to anger me further?"

"No," he shook his head, "I just want to hear you say the truth."

"I already have.." She snapped, regarding him seriously. So far, she still had a tight grip over her emotions. "Numerous times, yet you simply continue to dismiss me thoughtlessly."

"Because it's not the truth."

"Will you please stop saying that?" she pleaded.

"By God, Morgana, why can't you stop lying? For once, be honest. You and I both know that you do, in fact, fancy me."

"I do not." She snapped.

He threw his hands in the air. "Fine. Then you love me."

She paused for a while, and then recovered. "I. Don't .Love .You." She hissed the words through gritted teeth.

"Why did you kiss me back, then? If I'm nothing but a low pathetic servant, who had nothing but lied to you, why did you return my kiss? Why didn't you push me away? Slap me like you'd just done?"

"Merlin-"

But he just wasn't about stop. "You don't kiss a person that you hate? A person who poisoned you, who killed you."

"It's late, I think you should go."

"Now, you want me to leave?"

"Go, you were eager to do so moments back. The door is right behind you, Merlin. Leave."

"Morgana… If I-"

Her request seemed to go unheard, because Merlin didn't budge. Morgana started pushing him toward the door. "If you, nothing."

"I'm sorry."

"First you force me to talk to you." Merlin opened his mouth, trying to tell her that it had been the other way around, but she gave him no choice but to snap his mouth shut and listen. "Then you apologize."

She let go of him, yanking the door open. "Leave."

He shook his head and he glared down at her. "I will not."

"Either you exit this room or I will."

Merlin drew in deep breath, "Alright, I'll go. But this isn't over." It sounded like promise.

"Go to hell."

* * *

It was time for confrontation.

Merlin matched straight toward Morgana's chambers, after an early meeting with the king and his knights.

He just hopped that she wouldn't throw him out, like she had almost done the previous night.

Merlin was near the stairs when he heard a voice calling out his name.

He turned. It was Mordred. The knight wasn't included during the meeting that morning.

"Good morning."

Mordred nodded his head, greeting his father back. "Arthur requests your presence in his chamber."

Brow frowned; Merlin looked at his son with confusion. "I was with him moments ago. He said nothing."

"I don't know. But it seemed urgent." The knight said calmly with a shrug.

Nodding, Merlin thanked him and spun around, switching his destination to the king's quarters.

He would see Morgana afterwards.

* * *

When he got there, Merlin knocked twice. He waited, until he heard 'enter' coming from the other side of the door.

Merlin grabbed the knob, twisted it, then pushed the door open. Gwen was the first one he saw, as he took couple of first steps into the room. She was sitting on the side of the bed, cradling her child.

From where he stood, Merlin couldn't tell if the baby was asleep or not. But he was quiet.

"Merlin." It wasn't Gwen who said his name.

The warlock turned to the left, where he knew Arthur's desk was. The king was sitting behind it.

"Close the door, Merlin." Arthur said and Merlin complied silently.

Once the task was finished, Merlin turned to find Gwen empty handed. She must've put the baby into his crib.

She stood with arms crossed over her chest, but she wasn't looking at him. She was looking at her husband.

Merlin glanced between the two, feeling as though they were conversing with their eyes and he was the subject of their conversation.

"Is there something you wanted? I was told it was urgent."

"Take a seat, Merlin." Arthur mentioned toward the table in the center of the room.

"Alright." Merlin pulled a chair, turned in the direction of Arthur and sat. "So, what's the urgent matter?"

"We are waiting on Morgana. I already sent a knight to summon her here."

If Morgana was involved, then it was definitely something important.

Arthur tapped his fingertips on the desk, making a rhythm which Merlin had had heard before. Gwen had taken a seat at the head of the table and all three of them waited.

Moments later, there was knock on the door.

It wasn't hard to miss the quick glance that Arthur and Gwen shared, before Arthur said 'come in' as he stood up.

It was not Morgana.

It was the knight that had been sent to bring her there.

"Where's the lady Morgana?" It was Gwen who inquired.

The knight seemed to be torn. He didn't know whom he should address; the king who gave his order, or the queen who'd just asked him a question.

He simply looked forward between the two. "She was not in her chambers. Her maidservant is ignorant to the Lady Morgana's whereabouts."

The king huffed, turning to Merlin. "Do you know where your wife is Merlin?"

"No. Perhaps she's with Gaius?" He offered.

"I checked. She's not there as well. Should I search the castle?"

"That will not be necessarily. You can leave." Arthur waved the knight off.

The door was shut closed and Merlin stood up.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Merlin stopped mid-step. "Morgana obviously is not here. I assumed whatever you wish to talk to us about will be postponed until later."

"No, sit down. We'll do this without her."

Once again, Merlin lowered himself back on the seat.

He didn't like what was happening at the moment.

"What is going on with you and Morgana. The two of you have being acting…" Arthur paused, searching for the right word. "…odd as of late."

His eyebrows shut up, in alert. "I don't quite understand Arthur."

Arthur scoffed. "I'm not stupid, Merlin. Something clearly has gotten in to you. Especially to Morgana."

"She'd been held captive for an entire week, Arthur. You cannot possibly expect her to recover so quickly from that." Merlin tried to reason.

"Oh, I'm well aware of that, Merlin. But this strange behavior of yours has started long before the incident with Morgause happened."

His jaw dropped. The implication of king's words, made his throat tighten. "You're exaggerating, Arthur. That's not true. Right?"

He glanced over at Gwen, hopping that she'd support him.

However, one glance at the queen, and Merlin knew that unless he came up with an explanation soon, he was doomed.

"She hardly comes to see me, Merlin. No, the truth is, that she never comes over. Morgana used to spend quite a lot of time with my son. Since you've returned, not once has she seen him. That is not like her." Gwen stated. "I tried to speak to her yesterday and she insulted me, Merlin."

Merlin listened silently. Took all of it in.

He understood where Gwen's worry was coming from. Yet, he didn't know if he'd be able to ease it.

Still, he needed to adopt a new strategy, in order to steer this suspicion away from both, himself and Morgana. Even if it was a temporary solution. At least until he got a chance to talk to Morgana.

"Listen, Gwen. I can't possibly…." Merlin trailed off, taking a deep breath, as he tried to focus his thoughts. "Why Morgana chooses to keep her distance, I certainly cannot answer that for her." Merlin tried to imagine himself in Morgana's position. Morgause had always been the only person Morgana had cared about. And to have someone like that betray you with such cruelty, Merlin knew that it wasn't an easy thing for Morgana to endure. Perhaps, he could take advantage of that. Blame the entire thing on Morgause. He could do it. He just needed to choose his words more carefully. "Despite everything, Morgause is Morgana's sister. Morgana is yet to inform me what happened to her through that week…"

"She hasn't said anything to you?" Arthur asked, jaw clenched.

Merlin let out a forlorn sigh and kept his eyes fixed on the ground. "No. But she was placed in a dark cell, Arthur, for a whole week. Can you image how she must feel about that? Her nightmares have returned. She barely sleeps the night."

Gwen stood up. "If it bothers her so deeply, then why didn't she talk to me? She used to tell everything."

Merlin rubbed his temple. "I just told you that she didn't say anything to me. That has to imply something, does it not? I'm worried about her too. Definitely, more than both of you. But, I'm sure things would improve eventually. Just, give Morgana some time, until she'd be ready to be honest with all of us."

Merlin looked at the king and queen. Arthur seemed unconvinced, yet concerned. Gwen appeared to trust his words.

He'd settle for that at the moment.

However, after what he said, Merlin felt like a hypocrite. Deep down, he knew that he needed to follow his own advice. Between what happened with Morgause and what transpired last night, he knew for sure that Morgana needed some space to clear her mind. To sort her options.

But, unlike Arthur and Gwen, he knew better than to give Morgana time. Since she would only use it for one thing and one thing only .Scheming.

Something that he simply cannot afford.

"You're right, Merlin. We'll try not to approach her concerning her changed behavior." The woman said after a minute of silence, her chest tight at the truth in Merlin's words.

"I know. Just give her time." Merlin repeated.

Arthur nodded his head and Gwen smiled sadly.

Now that he managed to wiggle out of this, Merlin sighed in relief.

"Gwen, you said something about Morgana insulting you. What exactly happened?"

* * *

He managed to pass the remaining of the meeting with a straight face, offering an apology, as Gwen finished reciting the things Morgana had told her the previous day.

Merlin couldn't wait to get to Morgana's chambers.

Why was he still referring it as Morgana's chambers? It was both hers and his.

But it was odd for him to acknowledge it as theirs.

"What the hell did you tell Gwen?" he barged in.

Thankfully, he wasn't yelling at an empty room because Morgana was there. Apparently, she was having a late breakfast. As always, by herself.

"Good morning to you too, dear." She smiled mischievously.

"Morgana…" Something cut his attention from the corner of his eye. Pivoting, Merlin realized that it was the maid, standing stiffly with a load of cloths in arms and a look of fear in her eyes.

"Leave us." Merlin commanded.

"Don't. She stays." Morgana replied almost instantly, her tone challenging.

The poor girl didn't budge; she seemed to take her mistress' side.

Merlin glared at Morgana, as he addressed the other woman. "I said leave us." His voice menacing.

Morgana glared back, holding his gaze, her smile widening in the process.

She was enjoying this.

That lasted for a moment, until they were snapped out of it, by the sound of the door being shut roughly. They both averted their gaze toward the entrance.

"Incompetent servant." Morgana muttered, returning to the tray before her.

Finally alone.

"Why did you say those things to Gwen? And in front of a servant nevertheless."

"I'm afraid I don't understand what you're referring to?"

He snorted. "You are well-aware what I'm saying Morgana."

The woman reached for her fork. "Are you speaking about Gwen's visit yesterday?"

Merlin nodded.

"What about it?"

He huffed in irritation, snatching a chair and disposing it in front of her. "You insulted the queen."

Morgana watched him sit. The distance between them was less than two feet. "I told her the truth, Merlin. She was a servant girl after all. Was she not?"

He fought the urge to roll his eyes at her logic. "Exactly. She was. Now, whether you accept it or not, she is the queen."

Morgana slammed her fork back at the table. She pushed her tray away. "Well, if she's ashamed of her roots, it's hardly my fault. It's her past that she needs to admit."

Merlin nodded his head with his eyebrows raised. The perfect picture of sarcasm. "Are you listening to what you're saying?"

"Of course. I'm not deaf." She deadpanned.

Merlin smiled bitterly, shoulders slumped. He buried his face in his hands. "It seems we will never see eye-to eye."

"How unfortunate!" she said testily.

"Let's forget what happened last night, if that is still what you want."

Morgana frowned, "It is." She looked cynical.

"I didn't kiss you and all the things we told each other, we will pretend they were never spoken." He added calmly.

"I'm willing to do so, if you are."

Merlin didn't respond, just nodded twice.

"Marvelous." Morgana exclaimed, slowly, nervously. "Make sure to return that back to the kitchens. It was what you used to do best, aside from saving Arthur's life."

"Used to?"

"You failed to save him." Morgana said with a shrug.

Merlin pressed his lips, giving her tight smile. "I'll make sure to take it back, milady."

She stood up, and took about four steps away from him when Merlin spoke again. "There is one more thing that needs to be settled."

"What is it now?"

His gaze darted toward her swelled belly, making Morgana rest a hand on top of it, absentmindedly. "What of it?"

"You have made it quite clear; multiple times that you do not wish to remain within Camelot's wall."

"It's good to know that you listen, Merlin." Morgana remarked dryly. "But what does the child have to do with that?"

Merlin took a deep breath, reading himself for what he was about to utter. "You can, once the child is born, leave the castle."

Her face fell. "On my own? And leave my child here with you?" Her eyes narrowed. "Have you lost your mind?"

Merlin pushed his chair back, but he stayed seated. "It's the best for the child."

"The best?" she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "The child is not born yet, and you already claim to know what's best for him?"

He got to his feet, "and you do?"

"I'm his mother." She reminded angrily, both hands clasped on her rounded bump.

"Oh, Morgana." Merlin shook his head, closing his eyes. "You have been only carrying him for a month. Do you reckon that makes you a suitable mother?"

She scolded him. "It's far more than you've ever done so far, Merlin."

He moved around the table, until he was standing in front of her. Morgana made no attempt to back away. He lifted up slowly. He placed his palm flatly against her stomach. He felt his chest tighten.

"I can't let any harm come to our baby, Morgana."

Gasping, she averted her gaze, must've been very overwhelming for her to hear the words 'our baby'. "You think I'll hurt him? My own blood?"

"You contributed in the murder of both your father and brother. They were your own flesh and blood as well, Morgana. I can't let him be next."

She broke the contact and his hand fell limply. He'd hurt her with what he said. That was obvious, considering the accusing look she was giving him.

She backed away, till she reached the bed and collapsed heavily on it. "Do you expect me to just leave? What about the others, what will they say?"

He felt like he was having the same conversation they'd had in the forest. He had a different answer, this time around.

"Morgause wants you dead, that much is clear. You'll disappear and the blame would be placed on her." He explained. It baffled him how easily he could just resolve such situation.

"You'll raise him."

"I'll try my hardest." He assured her with a smile. The bed dipped as he sat next to her. "But I will have help from Gwen, my mother. From everyone. I will not be alone."

"But I will." She interjected.

"Is it not what you want?"

"No." The word came out caught on her breath, muting her utterance.

"So why are you doing this to yourself, to us?" he asked. "You know the only why for you to stay, is to blend in, yet you continue to pull away from everyone who loved you. You're doing it all over again and you should know better how badly things will end up for you."

"What are you talking about? What do you mean again?"

"Don't be thick Morgana. You were a high priestess. You cannot possibly tell me that you never heard of the prophecies about Emrys."

She blinked, confused. "I did."

"If you did, then you know that Emrys would bring back magic to Camelot. Together, he and Arthur would build Albion. You ruined everything Morgana with your lust for power."

Morgana laughed humorlessly. "You're blaming me for the destruction of your destiny? You know so little Merlin."

"Enlighten me, then."

"You want to know why I tried to kill Emrys?"

He nodded.

"I've heard many tales about him. People's dreams and the druids' prophecies. I've all listen to them all. They saw nothing but hope. But do you know what I saw every time I crossed paths with the greatest sorcerer?"

She smirked. "A coward. I saw an old man. A fake hope. The wrong answer for the problem of our kin. Because if he was such great sorcerer, where the hell was he when Uther declared war against magic? When my own father killed and slaughtered innocent men, women and defenseless children in the name of fear, he did nothing."

"I wasn't even born then."

She hissed. "How would I suppose to know that, Merlin? All I could think of was that this sorcerer was strong enough to stop Uther. Yet he chose to hide, to wait. Do you expect me to leave the faith of our people in his hands?"

Merlin ran a hand through his hair, frustrated as Morgana continued to speak. "What bothered me the most was that after I had a vision about Emrys, I remembered seeing him before in Camelot." She glanced at him. "Do you remember?"

"When Gwen was accused of enchanting Arthur." Merlin answered sadly.

She nodded affirmatively. "He took the blame for her. But if he knew that she wasn't innocent, didn't mean that he knew of what I have done. And if that was true…" she sniffed. "I couldn't stop wondering why Gwen. I wanted to know why he chose her, why he didn't help me the way, he did with her. So I hated him and I hated her. To top that, I learnt that he was going to kill me."

He remained silent and didn't know how to respond to that. Perhaps, because he was still trying to absorb what she said. It was quite a lot.

In the end he didn't really have to say anything. She was the one that left the room this time, leaving him speechless.

* * *

Despite her better judgment, Morgana admitted that Merlin was, indeed, right. She had to blend in, act like the Morgana everyone around her expected her to be. Pretending was going to allow her a chance to remain in Camelot.

Contrary to what Merlin thought, carrying a child inside of her, made her his mother. She might not remember how she had gotten that way, however after the initial shock of discovering that she was with a child began to subside, she had managed to look past the swollen belly and swollen bosom.

Excitement chased away any fear that would surge through her every time she felt her son stir and move inside of her.

She couldn't explain it. Even now, after all this time, she still couldn't explain the smile that'd tug on her face-though she always tried to suppress it- whenever she'd feel a kick at the presence of Merlin. Because they were times when she was at peace and the moment Merlin stepped in or said anything. She'd know that she'd be feeling a kick next. Believing her unborn child could sense the presence of his father, constantly amazed her and the thought of being separated from it after his birth, made her stomach churn and her head ache.

She could not allow it, not if she had a say in the matter.

Wanting a chance at being there in his life, was the reason Morgana was standing at that place in that moment. She raised her hand up and sighed. She tapped her knuckles against the wooden door and she didn't wait for permission to walk inside. She just gripped the knob and opened the door.

Gwen seemed to be surprised to see her standing before her.

Time to change that.

"Hi."

"Morgana, what are you doing here?"

It was a good thing that the queen was currently alone.

"After what happened yesterday, I realized that I crossed boundaries with what I said to you."

Gwen arched an eyebrow, looking suspicious. "Did Merlin speak to you concerning it?"

The fact that Merlin knew about it, made her suppose that he might have heard something from someone. Considering what Gwen had just asked her, Morgana would only assume that it was Gwen.

Still, she wasn't angry with the queen.

"He didn't have to say anything, Gwen. I insulted you unjustly. So I decided to come here to apologize." She paused. "I'm sorry."

Gwen's lips twisted, offering a warm smile. "Apology accepted."

Morgana mirrored her smile. "Thank you. When you came by yesterday, you told me that you needed to ask me something, what was it?"

"Come Morgana sit. No reason to remain on your feet." Gwen patted the mattress and Morgana sat next to her. "Only two months are left until you give birth, Morgana and you still have not chosen a chamber for your baby."

"I've completely forgotten about that."

"It's alright." Gwen assured dismissively. "That's why I'm here."

Morgana tilted her head. "Do you still need me on the matter?"

"Yes. There are three chambers near your own. I wanted to ask you to pick one, so that servant could ready it for the new prince."

"If you have nothing to do, we can check them now, together." Morgana suggested.

The queen beamed, taking Morgana's hands in her own. "What a lovely idea."

A step in the right direction. Perhaps pretending won't be that difficult.

The two ladies rose to their feet and together with their arms linked marched out of the room.

Lips pressed together, Merlin eyed her from where he stood, before he shut the door.

He started toward her.

"How did you know where to find me?" Morgana asked, her eyes fixed on one of the walls.

"Gwen told me."

Snorting, Morgana huffed in irritation. Although, it seemed half-faked.

"I didn't know you were seeking solitude." He stopped upon reaching her. Merlin hovered over her.

She peered up at him, with a raised brow, giving her a sardonic look. "It should have been rather obvious considering the place we're in." Her gaze darted once again toward the spot she'd been staring at, when he'd walked in.

Merlin lowered himself to the ground, so that he was sitting next to her on the stoned surface. Only few inches separated their bodies.

"Do you want to hear something funny?" he asked gently after a few moments of silence.

He'd been contemplating a way to bring this up. After many dismissed idea he'd settled on this one.

"Do you seem like I'm in the mood for laughter."

"No," he said with a lopsided smile. "But, you look like you are in need to lighten up your mood."

Narrowing her eyes, she snidely said. "How thoughtful of you, Merlin. And you assigned yourself with the task of doing so?"

"It is within my marital duties."

Her gaze darted toward him. "You seem confident with your ability to amuse me."

"One of my many hidden talents. Will you at least allow me to try? You have nothing to lose."

"Fine." She conceded, with a nonchalant shrug. "Amuse me."

Gladly, he thought to himself. He sighed. "Do you recall when I came to your chambers late in the night, after you'd returned back from the druids' camp?"

Her eyes widened comically. "Are you serious? How could you think of anything funny about that day?"

"Is it a yes or no, Morgana?"

"Bits and pieces."

Merlin eyed her with annoyance.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes."

"After I left, guess who I found waiting for me?"

"Honestly, Merlin," She said dryly. "I'm a seer, not a mind reader."

"It was Arthur and he…" Merlin paused licking his bottom lip. With a sigh, he drew his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

Morgana regarded him silently, a look of confusion evident on her face.

"I don't remember his exact words, but Arthur warned me that I would lose my head, if Uther were to be aware of my affections."

He could see her struggle with her next words. "Your affections to whom?"

"You." He simply replied.

She closed her eyes, releasing a shuddering breath. "Merlin, if you're…"

He hesitated before he put his hand on her thigh. Her body flinching under his touch, but Merlin didn't withdraw his hand back. "I will not lie to you, Morgana. I didn't have any affection toward you. Arthur only misread the signs of a concerned friend, with something much deeper. Something that didn't exist."

"If it's nothing then, why are telling me now? Of all times? Because let me say this, Merlin. This is not a thing funny to say, not one bit."

"I'm well aware of that, Morgana."

"Then why?" she demanded, tone quivering.

"Because…because, during my first weeks in Camelot, Gwen hadn't stopped talking about how great of a queen you would be. And Gaius was constantly saying, 'Remember, you're here to works.' whenever he saw me staring at you." Merlin made a poor imitation of his guardian with the highly raised eyebrow and the stern and disapproval look.

If it weren't for the seriousness of the situation beforehand, Morgana might've found it his attempt hilarious. "Stare?"

"You're a beautiful woman, Morgana. I could hardly be blamed for marvelling your beauty, even from afar."

She laughed humourlessly. "This frankness of yours it rather unusual and it is not appropriate." She made an attempt to stand, but Merlin was quick to stop her.

"Listen to me. Please." He squeezed her thigh.

"If this about yesterday, I thought we had already settled it."

"Nothing happened yesterday." He rushed to say. "I promised to honor our agreement."

He hopped she'd understand his meaning. Earlier that morning, he'd told her that he'd forget about the kiss, about that question he'd asked. He was planning on keeping his end of the deal.

Luckily, Morgana seemed to comprehend what he was trying to say, as her eyes widened slightly and she stopped trying to stand up.

"What is it that you're implying here, Merlin?" she stuttered nervously.

"Regardless of what I might or might not have felt for you, in the end, I was nothing but a servant boy and you, you were a Lady of the Court. I have been thinking about the path things would have taken, if I disregarded everything that was said to me. Because, Morgana, you cannot be disregarded."

" Your meaning is unfortunately lost on me, Merlin." Morgana scowled, shaking her head slightly. "What is it that you want us to do?"

"Court." He simply said.

For the first time, since Merlin had set a foot in that room, that was the funniest thing he'd said so far. Yet, she couldn't find it within her to laugh.

"We are already married." She stated matter of factly.

He adjusted his sitting position, so his legs were crossed. "It is what the people behind the walls of this chamber think. The truth is, we are not."

She didn't respond, she just gaped at him with narrowed eyes.

"Will you agree?"

"Most certainly will not." She spat, all proof of mirth deserting her features.

 _Odd?_ He was half expecting her to approve.

"Why not?"

She shook her head. "Because that's the most absurd thing, I have ever heard coming out of your mouth, Merlin."

"I understand your hesitation." He fixed his sitting portion so he was looking at her straightly.

"It's not hesitation, Merlin. It is absolute certainty."

He sighed in defeat. "I've caused many horrible things in your life. It seems only right that you deem me unworthy of such chance."

She nodded her head apologetically. "You lost your chance the instant you decided to poison me."

"Your words imply that I did have a chance."

"You did, Merlin. You always did."

* * *

"Will you be joining us for dinner, or will you be dining alone, again?" Merlin asked as he helped her to her feet.

"You can dine with me if you want to?" She offered shyly, walking out of his personal space to look at him properly.

"I do want to." He smiled as they made their way out of the room.

The last thing Morgana had said, was both confusing and surprising to the two of them.

It wasn't unintentional; unlike the kiss she'd returned with passion she'd been withholding for years. All it had taken was the feel of his lips on hers and she'd released her love for him and forgotten that she was supposed to hate him. At least act like she did.

This time around, she knew fully what she was saying and it didn't bother her. It felt right to lift such burden of her chest. Even if it was a light one, it allowed her to breathe freely.

Now, after what she had said was out in the open, its implications were yet to be determined. Aside from the dumbfounded look she'd received from Merlin, the warlock didn't add anything further.

Once their astonishment subsided, they decided it was time to leave.

As for Merlin, it was finally the confirmation he'd been seeking since the day before. Surely she hadn't stated that she loved him, yet the fact that she'd thought of him as a potential love interest, was more than enough for him.

More than ever, he was now certain of the idea of them to courting.

Why the sudden confidence? Well he'd blame it on the fact that once upon a time, had things taken a different path; he and Morgana would have ended up with a similar destiny to the one they were living. Married and by Arthur's side.

The truth was, that he'd forced himself to not to think of her that way. Since such relation would never have come to be.

"At least tomorrow, you'd try to be present. Have one meal with Gwen and Arthur."

Morgana hesitated, leaning toward declining, but Merlin widened his eyes at her. "Please, do this for me."

"Fine."

* * *

"Merlin!" Panting and covered in her own sweat, Morgana jerked out of her nightmare.

Wincing as she received a rather strong kick, the mother-to-be tried to sooth the anxious baby. Her hand rubbed her protruding bump in quick circles, her eyes closed.

The kicks continued; something that she was grateful for. The amount of discomfort they caused, were enough to steer her thoughts away from the dream that'd just disturbed her sleep.

Moments later, she realized that she could no longer lay down, she tried to sit.

"What's the matter? Are you alright?" Merlin's voice sounded sleepy and gruff.

He rolled over, his eyes still closed and his head tilted in her direction.

"I'm quite alright." She replied, her voice nothing more than a soft whisper.

Few seconds of complete silence passed and Morgana assumed that he'd fallen asleep.

However she was mistaken. The bed shifted, the covers were pulled and Merlin curled into his side, toward her.

"A nightmare?" He was wide awake now, his brow frowned.

Her hand continued to rub her belly. She'd gotten control of her breathing once again. "It's nothing." She assured him. The nightmares were a part of her, now. And no bracelet could chase them away.

Merlin said nothing, content with her response and she was glad that he didn't ask her about it.

One laying and the other sitting and leaning against the headboard, Merlin and Morgana fell into a somehow comfortable silence.

Merlin surprised her when his hand was suddenly resting flatly on her stomach.

"What are you doing?" she eyes him, confusingly.

"Can I?"

He should have asked for permission before he started poking her belly, but then again, he'd wanted to feel the baby move once and she'd spurned him instantly.

She decided to let him this time. Matters had been going smoothly and civilly for the two of them during this evening. No reason to stop now.

She grabbed his hand and positioned it on bulge.

Merlin propped on his elbow, so that his head was at the same level as her stomach. She moved their hands around, until the skin beneath them shifted.

He chucked as his eyes sparkled with excitement, forcing a smile to tug at her lips. "The kicks are stronger than usual." She didn't know why she said that. It was pointless, yet harmless and it was the truth.

Merlin withdrew his hand and sat next her. His gaze lingered on her lips before they were on his lap. "I'm sorry I kissed you, Morgana."

The change of his demeanor was sudden, yet she couldn't help but tease him. "What of the enjoyment you claimed to take pleasure in?"

He glanced at her. "I did enjoy it. But it seemed that it came at your expenses."

She huffed with a shrug. "You did surprise me. I didn't expect it. But tell me, why did you really do it?"

"I wasn't lying earlier. It was a test. I wanted to know if my speculation that you fancied me was correct."

"You could have asked." She reasoned.

He countered without missing a beat. "You've lied to me."

The fact that he presumed correctly her reaction, didn't settle well with her. She refused to be deemed predictable.

Merlin wasn't finished and she forced herself to catch the rest of his words. "…confront you with I came to realize, you would probably have stabbed me, let me bleed for a while then you'd have healed me; just to prove me mistaken."

Now, he was just exaggerating. She wouldn't have done all that. Too brutal.

The air seemed to abruptly shift between them, the moment was lost and Morgan removed his hand. "We should try to get some sleep."

She laid down and turned her back to him, eyes flattered shut as she was wished for her mind and body to surrender to slumber.

"Good night." He said and he didn't get any response.

* * *

She couldn't sleep. She simply couldn't.

"Are you still awake?" Morgana felt his breath tickling the back of her neck.

_How close was he to her?_

She had no reason to ignore him so she hummed.

"I honestly want to court you." He mumbled, sounding desperate.

He just wouldn't let this be, wouldn't he?

"I have already told you; no." She pulled the covers higher.

"Was it a definitive no?"

Despite herself, she smiled. "Due to your constant and annoying persistence, it will be."

"I'm sure whatever you find appealing about me will fix that."

She gaped. She couldn't believe he'd said that.

"Fine." She said and rolled over. They both were curled onto their sides, facing each other. "Assuming we did court, don't you think it will be nothing more than a waste of time? For all we know Merlin, this could end tomorrow."

"Is that the reason you're afraid to agree?" his eyes were soft, yet sad.

"It's not fear that's holding me back. It's the reality that I have already met my end, so nothing would change my future. I am dead."

"But you're not." He moved closer, their toes touched. "You're alive and well."

Why was she allowing him this? She needed to put an end to it. He was overstepping his boundaries, first he kissed her and now he was freely touching her.

"You keep forgetting that it's not real."

"We can make it so."

"We make it sound as an easy thing to accomplish." She snorted, puzzled by his optimism.

"We can make it so."

"What if it worked and …" Morgana hesitated before adding. "...somehow we tried courting and it became something more. In the end, perhaps in the near future or the distant one, you'll wake up and to find yourself in the same place you were before we had woken here. You'd be left with nothing but the memories of what could have been. Arthur would be dead. Your destiny would be lost. The memories that you desire to gain from this life, will torment you. You find yourself blaming me once again and frankly Merlin; I don't want you to hate me for it."

"You seem too keen on believing that this life, we're living will one day cease to be. That may never happen."

"That's wishful thinking, you're doing, Merlin. Whatever brought us here will be the reason we return to our true reality. "

"In that case, like you said, you're already dead; let me worry about the rest."

"You really want us to court, don't you?"

She wanted to know if he was pushing her to agree out of sense of obligation. Or perhaps he pitied her. He'd just discovered that she'd love him and ultimately, he'd killed her.

Was he trying to redeem himself in such way? She wanted to know if his desires were genuine. Hell, she wanted his desires to be genuine. She wanted what he said back in that room to be true.

But were they? She didn't even dare to question for fear of the response she'd get.

"We owe it to ourselves to try."

"And try we shall."

Did those words really leaver her mouth? She agreed.

She was starting to feel to tinge of doubt but it faded away with the astonished look on his face.

"Really?"

"Really." She nodded her head, her lips twitched into a soft smile.

Merlin huffed triumphantly, a grin spread over his face.

"Goodnight…" Merlin whispered, still smiling. "…wife."

Morgana laughed ignoring the fluttering in her belly. "We're still courting. We haven't really started yet."

"Goodnight." He said again this time firmly.

"Goodnight, husband."

* * *

_**The evening of the next day.** _

His lungs burned as he gasped for another breath, his legs aching from all the running he'd been doing.

What was he thinking?

What Morgana had said to Morgause, run in his mind and he cursed loudly.

Merlin prayed that he was just overreacting, over-thinking and simply considering the worst. He hopped that she hadn't done anything to harm that innocent soul. Because if she did, he didn't know what he'd have to do to her.

 


	18. Chapter 18

Merlin threw his head back, as he emptied the content of his chalice. The bitter liquid stung as it made its way down his throat. Merlin squinted at the taste, before he slammed the goblet down on the table. His companions shot him an amused look, yet none of them dared to comment on his odd behavior.

However, when he got a refill and as he'd done before; drank the mead in one gulp, Gwaine finally spoke: "Either you're in trouble and trying to forget about it, or you're not enjoying our presence and you're eager to leave."

It was actually both, but Merlin could not simply say that. Instead, he just shrugged, pushing his goblet away. "Everything is fine, just thirsty."

There was laughter around, so he allowed a small smile. He'd came there to have a pleasant time and try not to recall the events of the previous day.

"Another?"

Someone spoke from his left. But he was so distracted by going through what had happened, that he'd missed what was said.

"Hm?"

"Another." Arthur answered, holding his goblet a bit high, while looking at Merlin's.

The warlock shook his head. He could feel his mind starting to cloud, and as much as he wished to lose himself to oblivion even for just one night, he was aware of how such idea was ill-advised.

The rest of the night progressed uneventfully and slowly for him. By the time he retreated back to his chambers, it was fairly late.

Merlin tried his best to keep quiet, as he opened and then closed the door. He paused, taking in the disturbing silence he was met with. Morgana slept, facing away from the door. He contemplated whether or not he should wake her up, perhaps to talk things over once again, but he changed his mind eventually.

She needed all the sleep she could get. At least that was what he'd been told.

He went to his wardrobe, pulling out his nightwear. When he returned to bed, he was surprised to find that she was now facing the door.

For a moment, he wondered if she was awake and was pretending to be sleeping. He sighed and laid next to her. He was tired and after closing his eyes, he hopped he'd drift into dreamless sleep.

Unfortunately, it wasn't the case.

He dreamt of the last war, of losing his magic and of the crystal cave. He was unable to push away the sight of Morgana smirking, as she collapsed the entrance, trapping him inside.

He dreamt of his father, the look he'd given him and the hope his father had breathed into him, with his words. The strength he'd gained back because of them. Eventually, he dreamt of the hope that had dissolved into pain, as Arthur struggled with his breaths. His whole body shook, as his eyes stung with unshed tears. His dream slowly shifted and Arthur's face faded away.

Morgana's face took its place.

He wasn't sure what woke him up. Merlin had to blink twice, to make sure he was seeing correctly. Her eyes were staring with complete worry at him, and her hands were clutching his shoulders. Morgana was practically on top of him.

He felt at loss of words. Momentarily, he just stared back at her.

"Merlin…Merlin…" she hissed, shaking him by the shoulders.

He blinked again, shifting slightly. "I'm already awake, Morgana."

The woman closed her eyes, a sigh of relief passed through her lips. She released her hold on him. "Why didn't you say anything then?" she slapped his arm. "I thought you were sleeping with your eyes open. You scared me."

He sat. His heart was pounding inside his chest.

"Are you all right?" She sat next to him, trying but failing to tuck her leg under her.

"I'm fine," he murmured calmly. "It was a nightmare. Sorry."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "Are you apologizing for having a nightmare?"

"No," he said. "…for waking you up."

"You owe me a few." She remarked with a soft chuckle.

He smiled, but didn't say anything else to her. He merely swung his legs over the bed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He buried his head in his hands and his fingertips felt something covering his cheek. He frowned as lifted his head up to inspect it.

What was it?

"You were crying."

Morgana seemed to hear his unspoken question. He turned to glance at her. He wiped his hand with his nightshirt, nodding his head before he stood up.

He walked toward a bowl on the table and splashed cold water on his face.

"It must have been a rather awful, for you to cry."

He was drying his face when she said that. He stopped to look at her. "I don't want to talk about it." He told her as he started to fold the cloth before he disposed of it on a near chair.

"I understand why you don't trust me."

Her face had fallen at his spoken words and Merlin sighed. He felt guilty for being harsh with his response.

Dreaming about Arthur's death, certainly wasn't something that'd wanted to witness again. "This was the first time I dreamt about…" he felt a lump in his throat; he couldn't even say the words out loud. How pathetic. "It has absolutely nothing to do with me, trusting you. It is merely painful to talk about my nightmare."

"I'm not talking about your dream, Merlin; I was referring to what happened two days ago."

Merlin sighed.

"You're finally willing to talk about it." He crossed his hands over his chest.

She shrugged, "it's about time we do that." Sitting in the middle of the bed, Morgana let her hands fall onto her lap. She inhaled before speaking again. "For someone who's been urging me to embrace this new life, you're still holding the past against me."

He still remembered what Morgana had said to Morgause, on the day she'd thought he'd been killed.

"Uther's blood runs through his veins. He will be a threat once he is of age. And I have no doubt that he will be his father's son. Sacrifices must be made and this circumstance is no different. Do what you wish of him."

When two days ago, he'd learnt that Morgana'd been left alone with the prince, he'd been unable push away those words out of his mind. He'd been certain that she might harm him. Now, he realized that he'd handled the situation wrongly.

He'd overreacted.

"Did you really assume that I'd hurt him?"

"Yes." He said earnestly. "I was mistaken, I know that now."

"You have every right not to trust me." Morgana fidgeted. She looked sad.

Merlin growled, running his hand though his hair. "No, I don't. And I do trust you."

She titled her head to the side, not convinced.

Merlin stood up; quickly heading toward her. He reached for her hands as he sat on the matters, only to frown when she retracted herself away, avoiding his gaze. "I don't want you to trust me."

His frown only deepened, he was tempted to ask her why.

Not wanting to repeat what had happened the last time he'd jumped to conclusion, the warlock decided to broach the subject gently. Perhaps he'd be able to coax the true reason behind her ominous utterance.

"Did you do something?"

She peered up; her eyes looked directly into his. "Yes."

Merlin inhaled sharply. "When?"

He watched her chew on her bottom lip and despite what he was feeling at that moment, Merlin reached for her once again. He held her hands in his, squeezed them and offered her an encouraging smile.

"It was before…all this started."

It was like a weight being lifted off of his chest. His face broke into board grin. "I don't care."

"It was bad."

If he didn't know any better, he'd say that she really didn't want him to trust her.

"Very bad." She continued to speak. "Knowing it will surely make you hate me…"

In that moment, Merlin made up his mind. "Then there is no reason for me to learn what you've done."

She opened her mouth agape. "But it has…."

He didn't let her finish, he cut her off before any other words were spoken. "I don't wish to know anything about it."

He wondered about her need to tell him. She'd never shared anything, unless he'd pushed her to do it.

Yet, if what she said was the truth and he'd end up hating her, then he really couldn't care less about what she was hiding. Furthermore, he knew quite well what Morgana was capable of and whatever she had done, he was sure it wouldn't be as horrible as killing her own father, and then launching an entire war to murder her brother as well.

"I know that I had persuaded you until you agree to court me, was that why you're doing this? I understand if you don't want to do that me…I mean after all…"

He couldn't help but think that way. He knew Morgana loved him, and although, his feelings for her didn't progress beyond likeness at the moment, he wasn't certain if it was enough for her. Perhaps she desired more of him, or maybe it had been wrong of him to push her into this, in the first place.

"No,no," Morgana rushed to say, "I still want that, wholeheartedly to be honest. Our past is very complicated, Merlin." She sighed forlornly.

"Hence our agreement to never discuss it." He reminded her. "A new start. A new life. That was what we agreed upon, right?"

His words seemed to get through her. Her eyes shown and sparkled brightly at him. "We did." She nodded with a smile.

"We better try and sleep what was left of the night."

Recalling what she had said the night of their agreement, Merlin suppressed his laugh as he said. "Goodnight, wife."

Her jaw dropped for the briefest of moments, before her lips formed a smile. She lied down afterwards, Merlin did the same.

"Goodnight, husband."

Merlin spent the next couple of days, trying to come up with a way to make up it for Morgana. Saying 'I'm sorry' sounded lame after what he'd done.

Although things had gone back to normal between them, normal wasn't something he was seeking. Besides, it was about time he acted like a proper suitor for her. It seemed as if each one of them was waiting for the other to take the first step.

Knowing how reluctant Morgana had been by the whole suggestion, Merlin felt responsible to do the right thing.

However, he was clueless as to how start anything.

He was out in the woods, collecting herbs for Gaius when he spotted something that brought a smile to his lips.

Merlin flatly ignored the few snickers he received, as he made his way back to the castle and murmured a 'shut up', at a snide comment Gwaine had yelled from where he, and the rest of the knights were practising.

He'd asked the first servant he'd seen upon re-entering the gates, to take his collected herbs back to the court physician.

He walked directly back to his and Morgana's chambers. Reaching it, Merlin went inside, not bothering to knock first.

Gwen, Morgana and Ann -Morgana's maidservant- were all gathered around the table drinking what appeared to be …Merlin sniffed…he couldn't really tell what it was. He swiftly hid the object behind his back, not wanting anyone besides Morgana to see it.

Somehow, he was almost certain that Gwen had caught a glimpse of it, because she smirked at him. Thankfully, Morgana looked unaware of what he was holding.

"You really need to learn how to knock, Merlin. You can't just barge in like that." Morgana commented testily, by her side, the queen rolled her eyes.

"Sorry." He said sheepishly, backing away.

"We should leave you two alone." Gwen announced standing up. She looked at the servant, her eyes saying that she needed to do the same.

Morgana glanced confusingly at the two women. "Why?"

"I remembered a matter to take care of." Gwen replied calmly.

Merlin was silent as he observed them. He should thank Gwen afterwards.

"Why would you need Ann?" Morgana asked "Don't you have your personal maidservant?"

The woman in question just kept her head down, probably hiding her embarrassment for being the subject of a talk, between the queen and the princess. "I don't really mind going with her majesty, milady."

Gwen glanced at Morgana. "I need her urgently, Morgana, and I don't want you to question that." She then averted her gaze to the servant. "It's a royal order, leave this room."

The young woman didn't need to be told twice. She bowed, before doing as ordered.

"You're misusing your authorities, Gwen." Morgana called after her as the door was shut close.

At last alone, Merlin felt safe to extract the item he had been hiding since coming inside.

"What is the matter with her? We were having a pleasant…." She trailed off; finally noticing what was in Merlin's hand.

A mix of emotions washed over her features. He couldn't read them all, but he was certain that he had surprised her.

Finally, Merlin watched her swallow, clear her throat before she tore her gaze from the flowers and looked up, to meet his.

"Well…it has been awhile since you gave me flowers, Merlin. Why would you do that?"

It wasn't what he expected coming from her mouth, but he'd settle for that.

He held his hand out for her and she took the flowers away. She turned as she inhaled their scent. He couldn't see her face and he wasn't sure what she was thinking about.

She stood there for a long moment, with her back to him. She was standing still.

"Morgana, are you all right?" He asked walking to her. He circled around, so he could see her.

Her eyes were red, but she wasn't crying. "Do you want to take a walk? Perhaps leave the castle for a while."

Her proposal pushed away any doubt he had upon seeing the unshed tears. Yet, he was curious to know why such offering had produced such reaction.

She didn't like it or was it something else?

Something more. Merlin thought.

They walked with their arms linked.

They didn't talk, just walked and Merlin felt like it was the most awkward silence he'd been in so far.

When they exited the gates- fortunately, they hadn't been noticed by the knights of Camelot- Merlin felt like he should probably address the unspoken issue.

But Morgana spoke first and he realized that he might get an answer in the end.

"Can I ask you something?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"Why flowers?"

Merlin looked sideways at her. "What do you mean?"

Morgana sighed and withdrew her hand back. She didn't stop walking, so Merlin had to follow her. "You always brought me flowers." She told him slowly. "Why?"

It wasn't that hard to answer.

"I wanted to give you something that you like and that can make you happy. Besides, it had to be something that I could afford, since I was a servant." He said with a shrug. He stood, staring right back at her. "So it was either flowers or sleeping drafts. Since I had to give you sleeping potions almost every night, I thought flowers were the next best thing."

Morgana shoved him playfully, her voice rich with laughter. "You're adorable."

Merlin threw his head back, the throaty laugh passed through his lips. "This is the first time someone called me that."

"I'm honoured to have such privilege." Morgana said with a smile.

They continued to smile, as they resumed their walk, hand in hand.

The warlock took a glance at Morgana, cleared his throat to gain her attention, which he was successful in doing. "I don't know how to court." Merlin told her, earnestly.

Somehow, his lack of knowledge when it came to that particular subject, bothered him immensely. He feared that his ignorance might result into ruining the entire affair.

He felt like his worry was logical. He'd never done anything remotely close to courting.

It seemed that his worry was transparent to Morgana who, as she walked in slow pace, gave him a look. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't know the first thing about dating a servant."

Well, it did not make him feel any better. Rather the opposite.

"But I'm not a servant Morgana, I'm your husband."

Morgana rolled her eyes.

"You cannot court your spouse, Merlin."

The two of them span around to see who'd said that.

It was Gaius.

Merlin looked worriedly at Morgana.

Quickly, he recalled the things he'd said with Morgana and luckily nothing had been said that might arouse suspicion.

Morgana, on the other hand wasn't feeling that grateful.

"You've been listening on us." Her tone was evidently accusing.

Merlin had to step in. He grabbed her hand, squeezed it. "What are you doing here, Gaius?" He asked.

"You've forgotten few things to collect. I had to gather them myself."

He furrowed his brow. "I did?"

The court physician nodded his head.

"I'm sorry." He must have been too eager to give Morgana the flowers, that he'd forgotten about the task Gaius had assigned to him.

"It's all right."

"I can go get them now, if you want" He offered but the old man shook his head, murmuring a no.

They talked some more after that, with Gaius asking Morgana if she'd be heading to his chambers afterwards, because he might be in need of her.

Morgana nodded her head, promising him that she'd be there, by the time he returned.

Talking with Gaius made them both forget about their conversation. On their way back to the castle, they talked about the spells they'd be practising for their lesson for the day.

Later that night, something felt missing to him and it caused him to stir awake.

Lifting his head up, Merlin looked around, his eyes scanning the entire chambers, before he realized what exactly was no longer there.

Morgana.

He let his head fall back on the pillow. He stared at the ceiling, wondering if he should see where she had gone to.

But it was really pointless to go up and look for her. He assumed that she might have gone to the privy. He certainly wasn't going to check if his assumption was correct.

He stayed awake for a while, simply waiting for her to return. But a long time had passed and she hadn't returned, he started to get worried. He decided to give her more time, before he went to search for her.

Somehow he ended up falling asleep.

Waking up the next morning, he found her sleeping soundly beside him.

At least she was back.

Surprisingly, it happened again, two nights later, Merlin woke up and she wasn't there. This time however he forced himself to stay awake, until she was back in the chambers.

After a long time waiting, she finally came back. Quietly, she went straight to bed, crawling under the covers.

His curiosity picked up. But still he didn't ask her about it.

It became like a routine for the warlock and the witch.

In the Morning, and after his court meetings with Arthur and the knights, he would head back to their chambers, each day it'd be a different kind of flowers in hand, she'd take them with a smile, eyes sparkling with something that'd bring a grin to his face.

A walk around the castle was a must, and later they would part ways. Merlin would go to Arthur and Morgana to Gwen or Gaius.

On eighth day since their agreement had been established, they were on the route to head back to the entrance of the castle, when they noticed that something unusual was happening.

Morgana halted the first person she saw. "What's happened?"

"Someone tried to kill the king."

Merlin felt like his breath was knocked right out of him. His heart was beating fast, as his legs started to move without him even realizing it.

He ran, but only when he reached the top of the stairs, did he remembered that he didn't know where he was supposed to go to.

He spun around, his eyes searching. Too many faces, too many people around, but he couldn't recognize any of them.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed his.

"Gaius' chambers."

Morgana told him, her voice was sharp.

There was worry in her eyes and he didn't have time to dwell on the meaning behind that.

He got there first; he couldn't just wait for Morgana to match his speed. He knew she couldn't.

Reaching the chamber, the first thing he noticed was the small crowd of people gathering around the door. He tried to push his way through but something stopped him.

"Merlin."

He stopped dead in his tracks, recognizing the voice amidst all the noises trapped in the small space.

"Arthur?"

The king stood upright, alive and appearing just fine.

Still, he looked pale. He must have been still under the shock.

Merlin pulled him into a hug, allowing a breath of relief to pass through his lips. "What happened?" The warlock asked after breaking the embrace. His eyes quickly roamed over the king's body, just to be more certain that he was all right.

"Someone wanted to stab me. But I was lucky…" Arthur moved away further from him. His eyes snapped toward the small group of people, Merlin could almost hear Gaius' voice coming from the other side of the room. "I wasn't the one who got hurt, Merlin…"

"Who?" He asked, though he feared the answer.

"It was Mordred."

A gasp was heard, coming from their left.

"I'm sorry, Morgana…" Arthur said, walking toward her.

"Morgana…" Merlin began but she flatly ignored him and pushed her way past them.

"We should leave." Merlin suggested, touching Arthur's forearm to gain his attention. The king had his eyes at Morgana's form, as she shouted trying to cut through the bodies of the knights.

Arthur shot him a confused, almost surprised look. "What of Mordred?"

"Morgana will take care of him."

They walked as far away from that corridor as they could. They ended up in the king's chambers.

It was empty.

"Tell me exactly what happened." Merlin said to Arthur, his tone was low.

The sun was gone by the time Merlin decided to head back to the physician's chambers. He'd been informed that Mordred was fine and that he'd be well by the next rise.

Merlin walked inside, his body heavy. Morgana was sitting on a chair disposed next to the bed where Mordred was lying asleep.

She looked up, tiredly. Her eyes were puffy; she'd been crying.

He stood by her, resting a hand on her shoulder. "You've been here all day, Morgana. You need to rest."

"I'm fine." She said, quietly.

"So is he." He replied with a harsh tone. She didn't seem to appreciate that. She glared at him and averted her gaze toward the sleeping knight.

With a sigh, Merlin walked around her and sat in front of her on the bed. He was careful not to come into contact with any of Mordred's limps.

There was a scowl on her face.

"You've been here all day." Merlin said again, this time gently. "You've barely eaten anything, Morgana."

"Because I'm not hungry."

"You may not be but I'm sure he is." His eyes darted quickly toward her bulging belly, before they met her eyes once again.

He didn't wait for her to say anything; he just stood up and walked out of the room.

When he got back, he had a tray of food in his hand; he put it on the table and gestured for her to come closer.

Morgana stood up eventually and joined him. "That's too much, I can't eat that all alone" Morgana said, taking a seat.

"We're sharing." Merlin told her. "I've not eaten anything since breakfast either."

He pushed the tray so it was in front of her. "You eat first."

Morgana took one of the two spoons present and pulled the bowl closer to her.

Merlin watched her slowly dine. However, after two spoons, she just put the item down. A sob erupted and it sounded like she'd been withholding it for so long. It was odd, because there was evidence that she had cried before he'd walked inside the first time.

She buried her face in her hands and sobbed more. "I can't do this." Morgana eventually cried out and pushed her chair back, intended on standing up.

However, Merlin was quick to catch her wrist. The tears were streaming down her face, he could see them clearly when she turned to look at him with perplexity. He gently drew her to him, until the back of her knees bumped against his thighs and as a result she fell to his lap.

It was what he wanted.

She didn't resist or question him. She only clutched his shirt tightly and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her.

"I was so scared, Merlin." The words were muffled but he was able to understand them.

He kissed her temple. "Mordred is fine."

He rubbed her back slowly, his hand moving up and down.

"You care for him." He said matter of factly, but his statement sounded silly, once the words were spoken. If anything, Merlin was certain that besides the affections Morgana had for him, there was the deep love she felt for the druid boy.

He didn't understand why she'd feel that way toward Mordred. He supposed it had something to do with their joined destiny.

"Of course, I do." She said looking up, her eyes widening slightly. "Don't you?"

He squirmed a bit under the look she was giving him.

He chanced a glance toward the bed, "Probably we should talk later."

Morgana detangled herself from him but stayed on his lap. "He's been given potions that will keep him asleep until the morning."

She was glaring at him now. It was intimidating to be in such approximate to Morgana when she was like that.

"Well, do you?" It seemed she was determined to know the answer.

They had long since decided that there would be no lying between them, and Merlin was intended on honouring that, no matter how badly she might take it or angry she'd be.

"No."

"Why?"

He couldn't believe that she had just asked that. "He killed Arthur, Morgana."

Did he really need to remind her of that?

It always amazed him how quickly a simple conversation with Morgana could shift radically.

All traces of her heart-meltdown were rapidly diminishing. Her glare only sharpened and the line around the corner of her mouth increased.

How could she be angry when he was being utterly honest?

Yet, no matter how angry she was, Morgana was still claiming his lap as a seat. He wondered briefly if it was comfortable for her.

"I ordered it, Merlin." Morgana spoke after a small pause. "If you remember, it was who started the entire war. I was the one who helped him achieve that. Why don't you feel the same about me?"

Merlin shook his head. "Your situation is completely different from Mordred's."

"How?" She challenged, this time she did stand up, taking her chair once gain. "Please, do tell how despite all the things I have done to you and others, you still deem me more trustworthy than him?"

Her voice had gotten a bit louder, making him fear that Mordred might be snapped out of his slumber because of their bickering.

Morgana didn't look worried about that.

"Because I'm not married and expecting a child with Mordred."

Her face fell and she stared at him. Merlin had a suspicion that that might have been the wrong thing to say to her. Because she closed her eyes and started to shake her head. Her mouth was moving. She was muttering things that he couldn't possibly be able to her.

Abruptly, she got to her feet, the chair nearly tipped over.

Her tears seemed to have returned. "I should have known."

Her voice was above a whisper; luckily he was able to hear that. With confusion written all over his features, Merlin stood as well. "What do you mean?"

She scoffed, throwing her hand up, exasperated. "The sole reason you wanted me to court me…" She hissed the word 'court'. "…was not because you believe in the possibility that the circumstances we were met with here, might have actually happened to us. No, it was only because you are stuck here. Forced to be a part of something that you clearly…." She trailed off, inhaling deeply, "You're doing it again. You're deceiving me."

Sometimes, Merlin couldn't help but think that Morgana might be mental.

How could she, after few words said, come up with such ridiculous conclusion?

Deceive.

The word didn't sound well coming out of her mouth. He'd been set on being utterly truthful with her, and yet now she had this obnoxious idea that he was deceiving her.

It was absurd and… "Not true. How could you say that?"

Yes, she'd hurt him with that. He'd been doing his best to convince and make her believe, that he really, truly wished the same thing as she did. Such accusation didn't settle well with him.

"You're not him, Morgana." He meant Mordred and she got that. "Once upon a time, you were my friend. I knew about the good in your heart. I trusted you, because of all the great things you've done for me, for everyone you ever cared about. Because even after you darkened your heart and set on the path to kill Arthur, you….you were worried about Arthur earlier. Don't deny it, because it was as clear as the sun." He said when she opened her heart to protest. He suspected.

"I truly cared about you Morgana, and I believe that with time it certainly can be more than just caring."

She stared at him blankly. Her mouth opened and closed, as though she was trying to understand what he was saying.

"You don't really mean that." She said through gritted teeth, once she was able to speak.

"Why do you find that so hard to believe?" Merlin asked her, frustrated.

"Because-" she trailed off, looking anywhere but at him.

Sighing, Merlin glanced at Mordred, then back at her. "Almost two months ago, I loathed your very existence." He was exaggerating, but she needed to fully comprehend the message he was about to deliver. "What you have done to me and everyone I ever cared about, was unforgivable and intolerable. Yet, during these past weeks, I forgave and asked for your forgiveness numerous times, for I'm aware of the wrongs I've caused you. I tried my best efforts and went to great lengths, in order for you to trust me yet again. Despite all the things I have done, for you to assume that I'd lie to you, is something that pains me greatly."

"You lied to me before…"

He snapped, "So did you."

She was speechless, clenching her jaw. Merlin didn't know what was going through her mind, and he waited for her to comment on what he had just told her.

The silence stretched on, and in the end, she didn't say anything, instead, she twirled around and went back to sit by Mordred's bed.

He considered leaving. Still, he didn't go through with that and he ended up returning to his chair by the brought the tray closer to him. Although after all that was said and done, Merlin didn't have the appetite for anything; he forced himself to swallow every bite.

His entire presence might get on her nerves and somehow, he found some pleasure in that. He paid absolutely no attention to her. He let himself be occupied by the sound of the spoon, connecting with bowl every now and then.

Much to his surprise, she didn't even acknowledge his presence.

Perhaps she didn't even believe what he'd said, which only made his heart clench painfully at the notion that she thought he was still lying to her.

His hands were crossed over his chest, he had his eyes closed but he wasn't sleeping.

He couldn't.

Small movements followed by a faint sound similar to a hum, caused him to open his eyes. The source was immediately recognized and Merlin found himself frowning.

Should he be happy that the druid boy was showing signs of improvement?

The thought didn't occur to him until that moment. After everything that had come to pass that day, Merlin might have allowed fear to crawl into his heart, poison his mind with thoughts that up until earlier this morning, had been entirely dismissed. Simply, because he couldn't afford to think that way.

Were Morgana and Mordred still destined to be Arthur's bane? Even in this life, would he allow the smallest of chances of a total redo of something that was haunting his dreams?

Presently, he didn't suspect that either of them might do something to harm Arthur, but they had already formed an alliance. He couldn't let the destiny he feared immensely to take its shape once more.

What if something happened, that would change their minds and hearts?

He shook his head, those thoughts were exactly the things that he couldn't let roam inside his head.

He couldn't deny the fact that Morgana proved herself to have changed. He truly believed that, but what if he was to do something to ensure, once and for all that his tragic past never became his new future.

Evidently, he couldn't do anything to Morgana. Not because he couldn't but because he didn't want to.

Mordred and Morgana were both prophesized to bring Arthur to his downfall, but what would it still be if Mordred were to be taken out of that equation, would the prophecy become true despite it all?

Could he do it?

No, Merlin shook his head; that was the wrong question to ask. Because the capability wasn't the issue there, it wouldn't be hard to achieve that.

No, the right one was; would he do it? Would he eliminate Mordred to prevent a terrible thing to come to pass?

The answer came quicker than he expected.

When he heard heavy footsteps approach, he looked over his shoulder to see Morgana walking his way. She stopped when she realized his eyes were on her.

"How is he?"

He considered ignoring her, but eventually he answered. "He appears to be better than earlier."

The corner of her lips turned upward, forming a small and gentle smile. She breathed out a sigh of relief and he knew that if anything were to happen to Mordred, it would only bring darkness back into her heart.

So, he couldn't do it.

That was the final answer and there was nothing he could do to change that.

"Thank you." Her voice was small and it snapped him out of his thoughts; he realized that he'd been staring at her. She had raised an eyebrow at him.

"For what?" He asked her, knowing fully what she was thanking him for.

Morgana titled her head. "For laying me down on your old bed."

Merlin shrugged, trying to appear indifferent. "You looked uncomfortable sleeping on the chair, besides; I didn't want you to suffer from a stiff neck upon your awakening, so I carried you to my small and humble chambers."

There was a moment of pregnant silence during which, Merlin continued to look at her, while Morgana chewed on her bottom lip, seeming as though she was pondering something important.

"Are you still mad?"

The instant Morgana said that, breaking the tense quiet, the door was opened, Gaius and Arthur walked inside, side by side. Merlin tore his gaze away from her; internally he was thankful that he wouldn't be answering that question, because in all honesty, he didn't have a response for it.

After checking that Mordred was doing all right, both Arthur and Merlin left the Gaius' chambers, leaving Morgana and Gaius to change the druid boy's bandages.

"What do you need me for, Arthur?"

They walked together, their destination undetermined. "The trial is starting soon."

"Trial?"

Arthur gave him a sideways glance and sighed. "The man that attacked Mordred; his trial is taking place today. Mentioning it before Morgana didn't seem like a wise idea. I fear she might kill him if she were to lay her eyes on him."

Merlin inhaled and exhaled. "You did rightly. What are you going to do?"

"About what?"

"The attacker. Do you have an idea what the sentence will be?"

"No." Arthur stopped, there was something clearly bothering him and Merlin couldn't quite tell what it was. "He refused to say anything. He didn't utter a word since he'd been apprehended. Something is not right."

"Why would you say that?"

"I don't know." The king said with a shrug. "But I have a feeling that there is something more to this matter, than just meet the eye."

What Arthur said, had him worried.

The man was sentenced to death, his head to be cut off on the next dawn. The punishment was thought to be justly given.

Merlin was standing by the window in Morgana's chambers, watching as the man was being dragged toward the platform by two guards. He was surprised to see little to no struggle from him.

Was he not afraid of the fate that awaited him by the end of that walk?

Merlin supposed he wasn't. For someone who dared to try to kill the king while he was surrendered by his knights, Merlin doubted that the man had expected a different ending.

Arthur was standing by the balcony, his eyes focused on the man as he was forced down on his knees. The small crowd let out a gruff sound, when the attacker's head was positioned on the correct place.

"Did I miss it?" He heard her voice and Merlin found himself smiling. He'd be waiting for her to appear for quite some time now, although he suspected that she'd be standing next to Arthur, while he gave the order.

"No." He said, without looking at her.

They were yet to address one another since the night before. He had slept alone in their chambers while she had spent the night once again with Mordred.

It was safe to say that he'd made it alive.

Like many years before, when they had saved the druid boy and hid him behind her screen, Merlin and Morgana stood side by side, eyes located on the scene before him. The tension between them was rather palpable. Neither of them seemed ready to talk of it just yet.

They shifted their gaze toward the place in the square where such events usually took place. Their steady breaths were the only sound in the room.

Arthur was still standing staring down; he was yet to address the crowd that formed around. Merlin stopped caring about what was happening and finally looked at Morgana.

For the first time since she'd walked inside, Merlin truly took a full, studied look at her. There were bags under her eyes, the usual brightness in them was lacking and it seemed that her tired state had taken quite the toll on her body.

"Are you all right?"

"No," she replied honestly, briefly taking her eyes from the scene to answer him. "I didn't sleep well."

"Why?"

She didn't speak again until after a small pause and even with paleness of her face, Merlin noticed her cheeks had turned a small shade of red.

She was blushing.

"You'll think it's absurd."

"Try me." Merlin pressed, entirely interested in knowing the reason.

When she spoke next, Morgana didn't meet his gaze. "I couldn't sleep without you next to me."

He should've taken it as a compliment and just hold his tongue. But instead of doing that, his tone was inadvertently colder. He didn't know why but perhaps, he was just upset about the accusation she threw his way last night. "That didn't seem to bother you when Mordred was concerned."

She backed a step away from him, evidently unhappy. "I was comforted by the knowledge that you were near."

That certainly shut him up.

They both looked away from each other, their eyes moved to land on Arthur, his companions moved backwards, allowing him to stand by the edge of the balcony.

It signaled the start of the entire matter.

Arthur began to speak to the crowd, stating the offence of the accused and proceeding to declare the punishment of such crime.

Merlin sighed, already familiar with the while process that would soon take place. He pushed himself off of the window's frame.

Morgana looked at him with a frown that only deepened when he reached for her hand and started to steer her toward the bed.

"What are you doing?" Despite her confusion, she didn't fight him and allowed him to pull her along.

"You're tired. You need the sleep." He said casually, as though it was the most normal thing in the world.

"What about…" she gestured to the square, but he waved his hand dismissively, "His fate is sealed. I don't want you to fall asleep standing up. You might harm yourself."

"That's unlikely to happen."

Merlin eased her down, looking directly into her eyes. "Try to get some rest."

Once she was under the covers, Merlin silently went to the other side of the bed. He felt guilty for being such a prat to her since she'd came in. Pulling the covers, he joined her under them. Merlin bit his bottom lip, watching Morgana with her eyes closed as she laid on her back.

After a brief moment, Merlin curled onto his side and propped on his elbow. She must have sensed that he was watching her because she tilted her head, cracking one eye open. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." He said with a shrug.

She opened her other eye. "It's obvious that you're doing something."

He smiled softly; his free hand grasped a strand of her raven hair. "Thinking."

She gave his hand a curious glance, then she was looking at him again. "About?"

His movement came into a halt. "Whether or not I should kiss you."

"Oh—" She was speechless; her eyes seemed to be searching his for something. He wasn't certain what she was seeking, but he suspected that she wanted to know whether or not he was being serious. "Why?" Her voice breaking.

He let his head fall back on the pillow. He waited few seconds before he replied. A smug look on his face. "Because I can."

"What makes you reckon that that is a good reason?"

"Is it not?" He asked playfully.

"It depends; are you actually willing to put your words into actions?"

"I am." Without hesitation, his response was instant.

Her breath hitched and Merlin found that looking flustered, in a way, made her appear —what was the word that she had used?—adorable.

His smile stretched and her blush deepened.

Merlin leaned forward, gently pressing his lips down on hers.

The door clicked close, announcing the departure of the maidservant after waking Morgana.

"Can I come with you?" He heard her ask.

His brow furrowed, he shrugged off his nightshirt. "To the meeting with the knights?" He asked back and reached for the cloths he usually wore to such gathering.

"No, those meetings are dreadfully tedious."

"You have no idea." Merlin murmured under his breath, pulling his shirt over his head.

"After you finish with them, I would love to accompany you when you head to the forest. I'm not accustomed to staying within the castle walls for such long time. It's rather infuriating."

He didn't speak until he walked out of changing screen; she was still seating on the bed. If that was what she wanted, who was he to deny her such simple request. "All right. But the walk there will not be a short one."

She waved her hand dismissively. "I'm well-aware of the distance. I won't get tired easily and I'm in great need of change of scenery."

"I cannot do this any longer." Morgana whined, leaning on a trunk of a giant tree.

By her side, Merlin tried to suppress his amusement as she tightened her hold on his hand. "Help me sit." She told him and he had no choice by comply.

"I thought you said you missed the forest."

Glaring up at him, Morgana lowered herself down. "I miss quite a lot of matters, Merlin, it doesn't imply I can do them all."

He joined her down, the flowers they had picked together, rested by his side, forgotten. "What else do you miss?"

She sighed. "Riding horses, sword-fighting, many things as I said before, but mostly I miss my feet."

"Your feet?" He asked with a curious brow, tipping his head slightly.

She shrugged, "Sometimes, I lose the sight of them."

Her explanation managed to clarify her utterance, but still he didn't understand why she said that. "I can assure they're still in their rightful place."

She made a sound similar to a snort. "Thank you. I'm relieved to hear that. I can see my feet while I'm seated but that is not the case when I'm on my feet or lying down."

"Oh," He hummed, now it all made sense. "Anything else you missed?"

Her answer was quick. "Scheming."

The corner of her lips curved upward, forming one of her famous smirks. "All I do these days are utterly dull affairs."

He fought the urge to roll his eyes, conscious of her teasing. Morgana leaned over and rested her head against his shoulder. If he was surprised by why she did, he didn't show it and he focused on what she was saying. "Nothing exciting ever happens around here."

Merlin looked down at her, due to her position he couldn't see her face. "I'm sorry to hear that."

She nuzzled closer. "I don't know how you managed to live such life, while I was apprehended, but you must admit; I brought excitement into your life, Merlin. You owe me a thank you."

"If by excitement you mean constant worry, then thank you so much, Morgana." He replied testily, shifting his arse to get comfortable.

"Do you want me to be moved?" she asked, peering up, pushing herself away slightly.

He shook his head. "You don't need to."

She leaned against him again, with a sigh. "You're welcome, by the way." He could detect lightness in her tone, despite how tired she sounded.

"What's the matter?"

Morgana snuggled even nearer toward him, burring her nose in the crook of neck. "I'm exhausted."

He wrapped his arm around her waist, his chin rested on top of her head. "Then rest and we shall resume our walk back later on."

Before long, Morgana dozed off; he pressed a gentle kiss to her hair as to not to disturb her.

"Have you lost your mind?" Merlin exclaimed. He looked over at Morgana for support. Thankfully, she had a disapproval look on her face.

It was the day after their small adventure, Arthur had requested their presence and now they were seated around a table only the three of them.

"Is Gwen aware of this?" Merlin asked, looking back at the king.

"Yes." Arthur replied, tapping his fingertips against the wooden table. "She doesn't mind. She believed it to be great idea."

"To get killed." Morgana murmured under her breath, but it was loud enough for the two men currently present with her in the chamber to hear.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Organizing a feast, now of all times, is a foolish idea, Arthur, especially, few days after an attempt on your life."

"A failed attempt." Arthur reminded dryly.

"Someone got hurt." Morgana said, her tone matching her brother's.

"Yes. But it was not me because he failed."

"Mordred almost died." She hissed.

"That's an exaggeration." The king huffed with a shake of his head. "He spent the previous night in the tavern. It's safe to say that his injury wasn't serious."

"Not according to the blood I had to stop and the stained sheets, as well as the bandages that I had to change."

"I remember Gaius is doing that and you're helping him."

"You're mistaken." Morgana looked at Merlin, her lips pressed together, displaying her irritation with Arthur. "I think you might be correct, he' gone mental."

"And you whine too much."

Morgana glared at him. "Because you're an idiot."

Arthur leaned backward, his hands fell by his sides. "I'm the king." He said, emphasizing the word 'king'.

"Fine." Morgana puffed a hint of tease in her tone. "You're the king of idiots."

"I honestly cannot understand how you handle her, Merlin." Arthur smirked at his sister.

She scowled. "After what you've put him through, I'm easier to handle than you are."

"You mean 'a lot to handle' right?" the way his eyes darted toward her bulge of a stomach, didn't go unnoticed by Merlin and Morgana. The former sighed, knowing that such topic won't end nicely and the latter clenched her jaw tightly, shooting her 'husband' a look that said that she might be doing something horrible next.

It was a complete loss of time.

Merlin stood up brusquely, putting an end to the glaring contest taking place between the half-siblings.

"Where are you going? We are not done talking." Arthur broke the eye contact first, Morgana smiled triumphantly, before her smile disappeared when she saw the angry look gracing the warlock's face.

Exhaling, Merlin shook his head slowly. "When, you two stop this childish bickering of yours, we'll address this matter as the adults we are. Until then, I will not sit here and listen to you."

"Why do you insist on doing this feast?" Morgana asked for the umpteenth time.

"Because we have quite a lot of events to celebrate, Morgana, we almost lost you. It was so close to be true that it terrified us all. After that, you were acting unlike yourself, but now everything is back to normal and you are well. So whether you- the both of you- like it are not, I'm doing this and it will be in your honour, Morgana. So, you'll have no choice but to attend. You deserve to have this and there will be no room for debating since my decision is final."

Arthur didn't even allow them the time to process his words; he was out of the chambers before they could say anything.

When the door was closed, snapping them both from the small daze, Morgana shook her head, puffing. "And he said that I whine too much."

"He wasn't whining, Morgana." Merlin remarked, looking at her.

She had her gaze at the door. Her expression was unreadable. "I know."

"He cares for you."

He knew that she knew of that fact.

She nodded, without darting her eyes. "I know."

"Do you ever feel guilty for what you have done to him?"

She was looking at him now. "No."

"Why? Uther was the one you hated; he was the one that wronged our kind, why did you have to punish Arthur for something his father had committed?"

Morgana smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. She stood up, "I wasn't punishing Arthur for what our father did, I was punishing him for being on the receiving end of our father's affections. Only him. He had his love, why couldn't I have his throne."

"That doesn't make any sense."

Did having the throne really match the love of a parent?

"Of course, you won't understand." She said, bitterly. "But you might understand, if when you went searching for your father, and instead of discovering a bitter, lonely old man, you found a man with a family."

Just like her half-brother did, Morgana left the room, without allowing him a chance to say something. Letting him ponder her words.

His parents would be attending the feast.

Merlin was ecstatic from the moment he heard the news, he simply couldn't stop smiling.

Eager to deliver the information to Morgana, once he reached their bedchambers, the warlock went straight inside, as always without bothering to knock.

He wasn't sure what he expected to find, but her soaking in the bathtub, her damp hair pinned up against the back of her neck, resting her head on the rim, certainly wasn't what he had in mind.

"Merlin?" Morgana squealed, sinking deeper trying to cover her exposed bosom. He, on the other hand, made no attempt to avert his gaze from her naked body.

"Anything you need?" Morgana hissed, catching his attention.

Her cheeks reddened and he stuttered.

It took him a moment to comprehend what she was saying, through the fog of shock. His eyes snapped up to meet her narrowed ones and it was rather clear that she didn't appreciate the way he was ogling her.

Now that he was conscious of his surrounding, he was all too aware of how naked she was. He cleared his throat. "I should go and leave to finish—" They could talk about…whatever he came there to talk about later, when she was fully dressed.

He didn't know why, but he waited for her to respond, yet all she did glare at him and all his eyes did, was to trail over her dark eyelashes and straight nose. To the bow of her lips, where his eyes stayed for far too long; captured by their fullness and the way they glistened, with rests of warm water. Droplets like Pearls on her upper lip, dropping to her lower one and following its slope, to drop on her chin and run down her neck and down toward her…

He shook his head as if the action would help him focus his thoughts. Backing away slowly, he kept his gaze, this time, entire on her face. Twirling around, he came face to face with the maidservant and he didn't have time to ponder what her presence during that scene signified, because he was too busy fleeing Morgana's nude state.

Why was this happening to him again?

He expected her to be mad…no furious. And she was, but for another reason entirely.

Sitting by the edge of their bed, Merlin kept his head down, partially because he was flustered as she scolded him and because every time he lifted his head up, flashes from the –unfortunate- incident would be displayed before his eyes. Frankly, it was rather difficult to push them away.

"A husband shied at the mere sight of his wife and said wife covers herself from her husband…" she was rambling, pacing around. "I knew that having a servant was not wise. How are we going to wiggle out of this problem this time?"

"Maybe she won't say anything." He said calmly, peering up to look at her. She didn't appear to be pleased.

"Or maybe we should just kill her before she says something."

"Morgana!" He exclaimed.

"You're not offering other solutions." She huffed then she threw her hands up in the air, in exasperation. "This is entirely your fault; you honestly need to learn how to knock."

He was back to glancing down at the floor, hiding his shame. "Yeah, I know."

"Why couldn't you just…" she sighed, plopping down next him. He bounced slightly up and down, as the bed dipped due to her weight.

His head shut up to her. "What?"

She ran a hand through her dark hair in pure frustration. "Not be a gentleman in that moment."

"Wh—" he stuttered, his eyes widened comically. "What did you expect me to do? Stay and stare?"

Suddenly it felt too hot in there with her sitting in such proximity.

Morgana rolled her eyes at him, obviously taking notice of his flustered face. "Oh, Merlin, it's nothing you haven't seen before."

Oh hell.

He was on his feet in an instant, looking at her like she had sprouted horns. "I cannot believe you knew."

From where she stood, Morgana was amused. "Merlin, you're overreacting. It's completely all right."

But the warlock was too busy feeling embarrassed for himself, burring his head in his hands, he groaned. "How did you know?"

Only one soul knew of that incident and it was Gwen.

"Gwen told you?"

She nodded slowly, her smile stretched into a wide grin. "She was my maid, Merlin."

He should have known.

Merlin groaned again. He stepped in her direction. "Did she tell you that it was a mistake?" He didn't give her the chance to speak. If he had, he'd have noticed the small frown. "I was supposed to give you the potion and leave. That was all I had to do. Just so you know, I did knock but I don't think you heard it. Suddenly, you began to undress before me and frankly I panicked—"

She inhaled, her eyes widening comically.

"What the hell are you talking about?" She cut him off, stunned. "When did I ever unclothe in your presence?"

He wasn't sure what was going on with her.

"When you were readying yourself for the feast in celebration for the anniversary of the great…" He trailed off, realization smacking him square in the face. No wonder she looked dumbfounded.

They clearly weren't on the same page here.

They both gasped sharply.

"Oh, no…" he murmured while Morgana reached for his pillow disposing it against her torso as though to cover herself.

"You just said that Gwen told you." He whined.

"Not about this, she didn't." Morgana cried out, wrapping her arms tightly around the pillow.

"Then what the hell you were referring to earlier?"

"I'm not saying another word until you explain everything you did subsequently to your panicking…"

Merlin let his hands fall to his side; he gnawed his bottom lip anxiously.

"Merlin," Morgana said, warningly when he remained silent. "What did you do?"

To borrow his words from earlier, Merlin swallowed first, and then he said. "I stayed and stared."

Morgana just grunted, with a shake of her head.

"It was an accident." He felt like he needed to remind her of that fact over and over again.

Morgana didn't look convinced with his weak and pathetic reasoning; he really couldn't really hold her responsible for that.

"I am sorry." He sheepishly said.

Morgana released the pillow, threw it back on the bed and slowly stood up, her eyes fixed on his.

"Why?"

Why?

Was she serious? He could think of numerous reasons as to why he lingered in her chambers.

"Can you really blame me?" He said, "You were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen."

"Were?" she gave him a slit-eyed look as she stared sharply at him.

"Are." He rushed to amend, his voice cracking under her intimidating glare. "Still most definitely are. Of course there are changes…small changes but you're still …"

She didn't allow him to carry on. "Such as?"

Baffled, Merlin titled his head, frowning. "What?"

"The small changes, what are they?" She clarified, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well…" Merlin shifted his weight from one foot to the other. His blue eyes roamed over her form searching, while his mind screamed at him to say anything and to put an end to the fixed glare she was sending his way.

"Your belly, obviously." He told her, his hand reached toward her stomach but it didn't get close enough to make contact.

"Obviously." Morgana commented, sounding a bit breathless and taking a small step toward him, until his fingertips brushed the material of her thin dress.

"Wow," he breathed, unable to take his eyes off the swell of her stomach.

She nodded, peering down while he reached out, cupping her belly in both palms. He was shocked at how firm it is, like a shell, protecting their child from harm. He ran his thumb over it, causing her to shiver slightly.

"What else?" she asked him, her gaze was on his hands still touching her bulge.

He hesitated before his eyes located the next think he deemed different about her. His throat went dry as his gaze lingered briefly on her bust before he peered up. His eyes found hers.

She seemed aware of what he couldn't voice. Her eyes darkened under his gaze. She parted her lips to say something, but he silenced her as his captured her mouth with his.

Her body went rigid under his touch. Something that he was used to, and he almost pulled away, but then he felt the pressure on his own mouth increase, as she finally accepted the kiss, her fingers fumbling with the collar of his shirt.

That was all he needed. He complied with her request, letting it fall to the floor. He watched as she drank in the sigh of his bare chest, gently caressing her fingers against his skin before pulling him back in for a fierce kiss, as though she was afraid that he might be taken from her again at any moment.

She broke the kiss long enough for him to lift her onto his lap, his skin to her thin nightgown now, the soft protrusion of her belly pressing into his, reminding him to be careful, to keep his weight off of her as he flipped them over so that he was suspended above her. He kissed his way down her throat, to the crook of her neck, enjoying the feel of her hands roaming over his shoulder blades, grazing the muscles of his back before finally settling on waist, where she gripped him tightly, clinging to him for dear for dear life.

A gasp escaped her lips as he sucked lightly on her pulse point; he grinned at his prowess until, lifting his face back to hers to seal another kiss, he noticed the fresh tear tracks staining her flushed cheeks.

"Morgana, are you crying?" he asked, snapping back to reality as he tried to figure out what he'd done to bring out that reaction from her. He didn't know that their newfound intimacy between them would do this to her, but it wasn't though as she'd given him any reason to think that she didn't like what he was doing. "Did…did I hurt you?"

She shook her head where it rested on his pillow. "It's too much."

He moved off of her, propping himself on his elbow beside her, "What's too much?" He pressed, confused by Morgana's behaviour.

"You. Me. This child. All of it. This wasn't how things should have been." She rolled onto her side, creating a wall with her back, but he could tell by the steady jerk of her shoulders that she was still crying.

It took him a moment to process her words and then he had to do it once more. He understood that the entire affair with the both of them and adding a child to the mix, could be seen as too much but what did she mean by the other part.

What did she mean that was not how thing should have been?

He resisted the urge to question her regarding that, but her emotional state- Merlin noted- wouldn't allow him to get the replies he was seeking.

He woke up few times throughout that night, unable to find the will to fall asleep each time he'd rouse to discover that the morning was yet to come. Disappointed, he'd be by that, the blame fell entirely upon his mind, for it constantly would steer toward the memories of him snogging Morgana. His body would certainly stir with such recalls, but, difficult as it might be, he'd shove them away and once again he'd fall asleep.

Merlin woke one more time, his head turned toward Morgana who laid by the edge of the bed. Even in her sleep she sought to keep enough distance between their bodies. Sighing, he closed his eyes, trying to go back to his slumber.

His attempt was put on hold, when she shifted next to him. In the beginning he thought she must be dreaming, soon he realized how mistaken he was when he came to the realization that like him, Morgana was awake as well.

Silently, he watched her creep from under the covers and then out of the chambers. Not once did she glance his way.

He wondered if this was one of those nights when he'd wake up and she wouldn't be laying by his side. This time around, he decided to follow her and know where she would wonder to at such ungodly hour.

He kept a safe distance between them, staying hidden in the shadows so she won't feel or see him. The path she was taking was not toward one of the hidden passages that led out of the castle; something he was glad to learn. Morgana was heading toward the kitchens.

She walked inside, so he quickened his pace. He found the door ajar with enough space for him to see through. Unfortunately, the small crack didn't allow him the see her from where she stood.

So, he gently pushed the door open, his already started searching for her. He noticed her; however she didn't seem to notice him. She stood by the cupboards, one was opened and her hand was buried deep in it.

"What are you doing?" he said unintentionally. It seemed that his curiosity had got a hold of his mouth.

She jumped back, whatever she was holding was released and it came crushing down on the floor with a loud thud.

"Merlin!" Morgana whispered, breathing heavily. "Why are you here?"

He stepped over the threshold of the kitchen and further into it. "I asked first."

"I was…" She trailed off, her eyes moved toward the floor and she closed them. "Look what you have done."

Merlin stepped closer to her, craning his neck to get a better look at what she was seeing.

Dumplings!

"Did Audrey make them for you?" He took a bowl from the table and knelt to the floor. Oh, how much he loved them.

"Yes. And now they are no longer edible." She placed one dumpling into the bowl. "What brought you here?"

"I saw you leave, so I followed you." He decided he won't tell her the real reason. Merlin glanced at the bowl in his hand. "She never let me have one." His tone was laced with regret.

Morgana shot him a look that made him stupid. "You are the court sorcerer, the husband of the king's sister, Merlin. You can make her do anything you ask."

He hit his brow with his free hand. "I cannot believe I have forgotten about that."

Morgana took the last dumpling off the floor and put in to the bowl.

"Are they any more left?"

She shrugged, "I usually tell Ann who tells Audrey and she hid them in there for me."

Merlin stood up and held his hand out for Morgana, to help her get to her feet.

"Check in there for more." Morgana told him as he pulled chair to sit on.

After conducting a small search, Merlin turned to her with disappointment. "That was all."

She sighed forlornly.

"I can make you something to eat if you want to." He offered, it was the least he could do, after all."

"You cook?"

He rolled his eyes, "I was servant Morgana, I can do anything you may ask of me."

"I'm craving dumplings." She told him with a pout, "I only want to eat dumplings."

Sighing, Merlin stood up, scratching his chin trying to think of something. He didn't have to think for long as he smiled at her when he was hit with an idea.

"Just wait here, I'll be right back." He headed out of the kitchen.

"That was a mean thing to do." Morgana leaned closer, whispering into his ears.

"You said it yourself; I am a respected member of the court, why shouldn't I take advantage of that every now and then." He said his voice as quiet as hers.

Morgana looked up where Audrey stood with her back to them. "You didn't have to wake her just so she can make few dumplings."

"You are craving them."

She pressed her lips together, arching an eyebrow. "I don't think I'm the only one."

Moments later, they continued to speak quietly until a plate was placed before them. Merlin quickly reached for one but Morgana slapped his hand away. "Me first."

She took a bit and Merlin watched as she closed her eyes in utter delight.

"Anything else you require of me, my Lord?" The cook asked.

Merlin tore his gaze away from the scene and up toward the woman. "That would be all."

Morgana nudged him from under the table, narrowing her eyes at him. He tempted to roll his eyes. "Thank you, Audrey." He told the servant with a smile.

"My lord, Milady." She bowed before backing away and left them alone.

Morgana was already having a second one, when he decided to have one himself. He was about to sink his teeth into his dumpling when Morgana spoke. "It cannot happen again."

He thought that it might take a couple of days before she was ready to speak to him about what had happened, just like the last time.

"All right." He took a bit, he couldn't focus on how yummy it tasted, too busy feeling saddened by her decision.

They both chewed slowly. Once they swallowed Morgana added. "At least until I …" She sighed, "…give birth."

He felt hope fill him, but he couldn't smile, the matter was rather serious. "All right."

Morgana nodded her head. "We need to think of something to do in case Ann says anything about what she saw."

It appeared that she no longer wanted to address that subject and he inwardly approved. If that was all she going to say on the matter, then he was fine with that. At least, they were still speaking terms.

"Do you have any ideas?" Merlin asked her and she shook her head.

He took another dumpling. "Worry not; I'm certain we'll find a way."

"I really hope so."

He stood at the top of the stairs, craning his neck trying to get glimpse of who was ascending the stairs.

The instant his eyes caught sight of Morgana's maidservant; he spun around and started toward his chambers, running.

"She's coming." Merlin yelled, taking off his shirt and jumping into the bed.

Morgana laughed at the look on his face.

"This is not funny."

"That was not what you told me when I proposed the idea, you said it was smart." Her eyes were wet with mirth.

"If we do it correctly then it will surely be." Worriedly, he glanced at the door, waiting for Ann to walk inside.

Her 'smart' plan was to make the servant walk in on them, while they were in the middle of them shagging.

They wouldn't be actually shagging of course, but that what would the servant believe they would be doing.

"I think I hear her coming." Merlin whispered.

"Why are you whispering, it's not like she can hear you." She told her amusingly. "Wait for it."

Anticipation grew tenser with very passing moment.

"Wait for it." Morgana said again.

The knob twisted.

"No…."

He didn't even let her finish saying 'now' before he jumped on top of her.

Merlin and Morgana stood side by side, as they watched the carriage that brought the warlock's parents then slowed to a halt. A smile spread cross their faces, while greeted the new comers.

"How are you doing, dear?" Hunith asked once greetings were over and Morgana replied with a 'fine.'

"And the child?"

Morgana let her hand rest on her belly. "He's doing far better than myself."

"He?" Balinor joined the conversation. "You think you're having a boy?"

Morgana glanced toward her husband with a small frown. "It's a mere feeling." She said after a small pause.

"Worry not," The elder woman smiled warmly, "if the child comes late, we will know for certain that you're carrying a boy."

"And why is that?" Curiously, Merlin asked with an amused brow.

While she spoke, his mother kept her eyes on him. "Who else but a man would cling to his mother?" The teasing tone was palpable and it resulted in a growl from the warlock and a laugh from the rest.

"You're speaking from experience, I suppose?" Morgana asked Hunith who linked her arm with the expecting woman, whispering. "Come with me, I'll tell you all about it"

Merlin was showing his father the chambers he and his mother would be staying in, when his father pulled out a piece of paper from one of their belongings, that had been taken before they had walked inside.

"Give this to your wife."

Merlin gave the item a curious look, he looked up. "What is that?"

"Morgana required my help regarding a spell. It was rather challenging, but I managed to learn few things that might aid in her searching." His father explained. "Though, I have to be honest, I never knew that Morgana was well-informed in the matter of dark magic."

What was his father talking about? Why did he not know about this?

Merlin lifted his hand, taking the paper from his father. Opening it, he examined the writing on it. "When did she request your assistance?"

"Last time you came for a visit."

"What does this spell do exactly?"

Merlin stood by the door of his chambers, his raging emotions were getting the best of him. Knowing that he needed to keep them under control once he enter the room, the warlock inhaled deeply and took his time exhaling. He repeated that two more times until he was certain that his distress would not be evident in front of his mother.

He raised his hand. His knuckles tapped against the wooden door couple of time before he reached for the knob.

Taking one more breath, Merlin twisted the handle and pushed the door open. Two pair of eyes looked his way, once he stepped inside. An identical smile was gracing the two women's face, forcing him to display on of his own.

"We were just about to come searching for you and your father." His mothe said, rousing from her chair.

"There is a knight waiting for you outside, he'll show to your chambers." Merlin walked toward them. "We'll come and see you and father, in a moment. I wish to speak to Morgana. Alone." He added after a small pause.

His mother nodded, squeezed Morgana's shoulder and left.

Once Hunith was gone, Merlin opened the door, popped his head through the small crack to make sure no one was near, then he backed away and shut it close.

Locking it, was what he did next.

"What are you doing?" Morgana asked, confused.

He slowly turned around to face her. "You lied to me." His voice was dangerously low. "You did this, didn't you?"

"Did what?" her brow furrowed and he couldn't tell if her ignorance was genuine.

"You know quite well what I'm asking. You're the reason we're here. You did this." He repeated. "Did you not?"

All colour drained from her face, as she backed away.

"I honestly do not understand what you want from me?"

"Don't lie to me!" He yelled, frustrated to no end. "You caused this. We are here because of you. Because of a spell you did before you died. Am I correct?"

Her lips trembled as did her hands. She looked around, seemingly in search of something to sit on. Still, she offered no answer to his inquiry.

"Tell me!" Snapping, he advanced on her and causing her to jump back.

"Yes." She cried, tears already spilling from her eyes.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking for a beta. Anyone would like to help me out ?

**Chapter 19 : End Of A Dream**

* * *

Truth to be told, Morgana had always imagined Merlin knowing about what she had done. In those thoughts, she had tried to imagine his reactions; what he'd say and most importantly, what would he do.

In her mind, he'd always be angry and the image she had painted wasn't different from the one she was seeing with her eyes, in that particular moment.

However, never had she considered apologizing, yet she was able to surprise herself when she softly uttered the words. "I'm sorry."

The apology didn't seem to have the desirable effect on him, or any other effects for that matter. His posture remained tense, his features hard. And as he continued to stare penetratingly at her, the witch found herself saying them once more, her tone higher.

Despite the fact that had seen this side of Merlin before, and that she had witnessed first-hand how dangerous he could be, when he was in such stage of mind, the expecting woman believed that he wouldn't do her any harm.

And so, she found enough courage in herself, to take a small step in his direction.

Yet, when his hand shut up in the air, she instantly halted her advance.

"You lied to me." His tone was accusing and dangerously low.

Hearing that coming from his mouth, something inside of her, simply, snapped. It was like being drenched with cold water. An eerie feeling got hold of her heart and Morgana dumbly stared at him.

It took her a second to decipher the strange emotion and when she did, the once high priestess was suddenly….smirking.

"Lied to you?" She echoed, with voice laced with venom and mockery. Humourlessly, she laughed at the face he was making.

Moving around him, armed with a thing she had long let go of, Morgana shot him an amused glance before she started to the door. "At least now you know how I felt when I came to the knowledge that you had magic."

His face dropped for the smallest of seconds and it only made her smile widen.

Even though she wished to stay and enjoy that look on his face, Morgana spun on her heals and yanked the door open.

"This is not a game, Morgana, you should know better." He told her sternly.

And she was willing to admit that he was correct. The entire matter was far from a game; still, she shook her head and stepped on the threshold of their chambers. "Perhaps. But at least for now, we are even."

With that said, she moved a bit, and then she slammed that door shut.

* * *

The feeling of utter satisfaction was unfortunately shortly-lived. The sound of the door closing was like a repeated stab to her chest. A stab straight through her heart.

Her smirk dissolved into a grimace and the corners of her eyes burned, as tears welled up in them. But she would not cry. She owed herself at least that. After everything, she had endured after discovering that Merlin had magic, the warlock deserved to suffer the same way she had, even if it wasn't to the same extent.

She stood facing the door, waiting and almost hoping, for Merlin to come rushing out. To do what exactly, she wasn't sure. But he didn't, and the door remained closed even after she had stepped away from it. The silence that filled the place, made her wonder what Merlin was doing and thinking, on the other side of that wooden entrance.

She didn't linger in there. She simply walked away, just like he had done a long time ago.

* * *

She managed to avoid him for the rest of the afternoon and the evening, yet when the time for supper approached, she knew there was no escaping him. So, she claimed to be unwell; tired and in a great need to rest her feet. No one questioned her and she was safe to retire to her quarters without crossing his path.

Hunith was by her side as she stepped into her chambers. Despite Morgana's continuous assurance that she was quite capable to retire safely for the night, Merlin's mother insisted on walking her there.

Once in bed and tucked in, Hunith leaned over and pressed a kiss to Morgana's temple and the witch's eyes fluttered close. "Sleep well, my dear."

The lump those words had created, didn't allow her to form a proper reply. The older woman offered her a gentle smile that Morgana couldn't help but return, before Hunith left.

Why couldn't Merlin be more like his mother?

* * *

Morgana wouldn't admit it loud, but she couldn't sleep until she heard him come inside. A breath of relief passed through her lips, because she didn't know what she'd do if he didn't return to their chambers.

He locked the door, and went directly to the screen. No words were said.

And now, they were back to ignoring each other.

Wonderful!

It was like the past months had meant nothing to the both of them.

* * *

The bed dipped and the slight shift was enough to stir her awake. Rotating and curling onto her side, Morgana opened her eyes to find him lying beside her. Eyes fixed on her, Morgana attempted her best not to appear fazed by it.

"What are you doing?" Her voice sounded groggily from sleep and she cursed under her breath.

"Nothing." He replied without even blinking. Merlin exhaled, and eyed her for a moment, before he turned his face away. He was looking at the ceiling now.

Morgana closed her eyes. She could hear distinctively every breath he took and she founded it to be rather unnerving to bear.

She threw off the covers. However, the dramatic effect she was aiming for, was lost because of her state. She blamed it entirely on her belly. Once her struggle to sit was over, and with what was left of her dignity, she shot him a look. "Then why are you looking at me like that?"

Unlike her, Merlin managed to sit, but with more ease than herself which made her glare at him. He ignored it and simply shrugged his shoulders. "I wasn't staring. Just waiting."

"For?" She pressed, not buying his excuse.

He was spared from answering. The door of their chambers was pushed open and in walked her maid Ann. She paused upon seeing them. "Uhm…should I return later?"

"No." They replied simultaneously.

"You were not interrupting anything." Merlin said in an assuring tone and the maid sighed in relief.

Morgana turned her head and saw him get up from beside her.

"Should I go fetch your breakfast?" the question was address to no one in particular, still Merlin answered it.

"I'll be having mine with my parents."

The servant frowned. "What about you, milady? Will you…"

Merlin cut her off. "She will be joining us of course."

"Oh." Ann breathed out, glancing between her lady and lord, possibly sensing the palpable tension. "Well, what dress will you be wearing today, milady?"

"I don't know." Morgana replied honestly. "Have Merlin's parents awaken yet?"

She shook her head. "I don't think they have."

Getting up herself, Morgana adjusted her nightgown before talking. "Go see if they are up and in the meantime, I'll choose something."

The servant nodded her head and without wasting any time, she was gone.

Morgana went to her wardrobe, while Merlin headed to the changing screen. By the time she settled on a nice dress, Merlin had already finished dressing.

"I'll wait outside." He announced, leaving the room.

She understood his anger toward her. If anything, she thought he had every right to be. Yet, what she failed to comprehend was; Merlin had the entire night to ponder everything he'd come to learn, why was he still mad at her? Shouldn't he be grateful for what she had offered him?

That man baffled her greatly. But she wasn't about to do anything in an attempt to decipher him. She had already apologized for keeping the secret from him.

What more did he expect from her?

Time went by and her maid failed to make an appearance. Deciding that she should start without her, Morgana went to her changing screen. When she reached for the wear after undressing herself, she heard the door open.

Safely assuming that the comer was her maid, Morgana continued in her task until she got to the part where she required her maid's assistance. "I need some help with this fastening."

She anticipated small hands.

She didn't count, however, on big ones. Inclining her head, she was shocked to see that it was Merlin.

Standing right behind her, she could feel his breaths brush the back of her neck making her shiver. "What are you doing?" she felt stupid for asking the same question again, in such small period of time.

"Helping." His hands stroked the small of her back and the mark they left, was enough to send fire bursting through her, she could almost feel herself blushing. "What are you doing?"

Morgana stepped forward, until she was out of his personal space. She turned around, looking directly into his eyes, while she tried her best not to glance down at his hands.

The feeling of his hands on her back, wasn't something that she was accustomed to, yet it wasn't an unfamiliar one.

She had found herself in more than one occasion in an intimate situation, when Merlin was concerned. Twice to be exact.

And both incidents had occurred mere days ago.

How quickly matters could change…she thought lamentably.

Pushing that aside, Morgana continued to stare at him, inwardly, trying to inform him that she was still waiting on his answer.

Sighing, Merlin went closer. She didn't move.

She was silent, as he lifted his hands and placed them on her shoulders. Slowly and with a painful gentleness, Merlin pivoted her until they stood with her back to him. He was back to working on her fastening.

"Playing my part." Finally, came his response. But she couldn't tell from his tone, whether or not he was being frank. She hoped that she was able to see his face.

Since she couldn't ask him to stop, Morgana clenched her jaw, thinking the less she said, the sooner Merlin finished the small torture he was conducting on her.

"All done." He announced, squeezing her shoulders.

She closed her eyes, taking the time to calm herself. "No one is here."

"Uhm?" Hummed Merlin with a frown.

She cleared her throat and moved out of the small area. "There was no reason for you to play anything, Merlin. We are alone."

He didn't offer her a proper reply. A nod of his head was what he'd given her. "Shall we go?"

"I think I'll wait for Ann." She said, before huffing. "Why has she not retuned yet?"

"She has." Merlin walked toward the door. "She informed me that my parents were waiting for us to join them in their quarters."

"She did? Where is she then?" Morgana asked, perplexed.

He pulled the door open. "I dismissed her."

She crossed her arms over her chest, regarding him with slight anger. "Why would you do such thing?"

"Because…" he began but stopped. His eyes widened slightly as if remembering something before his lips curved upward, forming a small smile. He tilted his head; " ' _I need some help with this fastening.'_ " He said after a moment. "The day I walked on you undressing when you thought I was Gwen; you said those exact words."

She didn't want to ask him how he still remembered such insignificant detail that had occurred a long time ago; instead, she decided to act as if she wasn't interested by the whole thing.

"Your parents must be waiting for us. It would be rude on our behalf, if you arrived late."

"Yeah," Merlin nodded, stepping first out of the chambers. "You're right. Let's go."

* * *

"Merlin, did you give Morgana the parchment I sent with you?"

At the mention of her name, the witch's head snapped up.

Merlin placed his goblet down. He glanced at her before he looked at his father. He smiled, "I did. But, I have to be honest; she refused to inform me of its content."

How sneaky of him.

Balinor arched an eyebrow at her. "And why is that?"

Morgana displayed a fake smile. Laughing lightly, she waved her hand. "It's no secret; I simply found no reason to share it with you."

"So you won't mind telling me about it?" It sounded like a challenge, something that she was fully willing to take.

"Of course, it was a spell that I stumbled upon." She easily lied, "It was intriguing and I only sought to understand it. I requested your father's help in aiding in my search. That's all, Merlin. You needn't to be mad about keeping it from you."

"That's all?" He narrowed his eyes, "Are you certain you didn't fail to recall other things?"

Shrugging, she tried her best to look indifferent. "I believe that you've already read what your father had managed to collect for me, I think you know everything there is to learn."

"Its effects are still unclear to me." Merlin shot back.

She gritted her teeth, holding herself back from saying anything snappy to him.

Luckily, Merlin's father spoke and gave her a way out. "I can explain it to you, if you wish."

Breathing out in relief, she exclaimed, "It's settled then!"

* * *

Two days had slowly gone by, since the discovery of her secret was made. Only a day was left until the feast and while the entire castle was busy preparing for it, Morgana was with Gaius as he rummaged through one of his cabinets.

"Found it?" Morgana asked.

The physician removed his head from inside of the cupboard, huffing in frustration. "No. Strange. I remember placing it here. "

Morgana reached for the open book and snapped it shut. "You don't have more of it?"

Gaius shook his head, he turned around and started collecting different bottles and placing them inside. "I fear I don't. I'll send Merlin to the forest later to gather us some more. Until then, I think we'll have to make the potion tomorrow."

She stood up and went to help him, handing him the vials while he sorted them back in their correct place.

* * *

She wasn't sure what wake her up, but when she sat up she was hit with a wave of coughing. It felt like her lungs was being ripped right out of her chest cavity. Eyes fuzzy with sleep, she couldn't concentrate on anything, as her hands reached for the goblet.

Only when her hand came back empty, did she remember that she hadn't bothered to move the item from the table. She quickly threw off the covers and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.

She stood up and ended up falling backward, she clutched the edge of her nightstand tightly, while her other hand massaged her throat. Morgana didn't know what was going on with her.

She completely forgot about Merlin, had she remembered his presence, she would have called for him. But the shock of what had come over her, prevented her from doing so.

Thankfully, he must have heard her struggles, because he suddenly appeared before her, demanding to know what the matter was.

Somehow she managed to say 'water' and he rushed to the table and quickly filled a chalice and carried it back to her.

She didn't care that she ended up coughing the first gulp she took. Making a complete mess out of herself.

She felt him sit next her. "Take small sips, Morgana." He whispered into her ear.

And she did.

The burning fire in her throat finally eased and by the time it faded away entirely, she had already drunk every last drop of the water.

"Thanks." She told him, hoarsely. Her throat still ached but it was better now.

"Are you okay?" He took the cup from her hands.

She nodded wiping her mouth with the hem of her nightdress, "I don't know what happened…I …"

She couldn't explain what she couldn't understand herself. Good thing, Merlin didn't press her into knowing.

He put his hand on her knee. "It's all right. Do you want me to stay with you?"

She was tempted to say yes. But if she did so, she'd appear pathetic. Because, they were supposed to be mad at each other and she was certain that his offer was only out of politeness. But if she said 'no', she'd feel like she might have given up the chance to repair their relationship. He wouldn't have asked, if he didn't entirely care about her. The concern on his face was enough to tell her that.

Bottom line was that she truly didn't know what she wanted. Not when it came to him.

She patted the hand that was on her knee and smiled weakly. "Do whatever you want."

She gave him the choice. Hopping, he'd made the right one.

Sadly, he chose the cot on the ground.

* * *

The day of the feast, finally came. Long ago, at a day like this one, she would have spent the good part of her morning, trying to choose something to attend the feast with.

But she was a changed person and she had long since stopped caring about insignificant matters. And because of that, Morgana found herself yet again in the presence of Gaius, as the two of them continued their delayed work.

"Just cast the spell so the potion is finally ready." Gaius instructed.

She pulled the book closer and began to search for the magical words. Once she found them, Morgana lifted the book and approached the still brewing remedy.

She focused her attention and readied herself but nothing came to pass as the spell was spoken. She tried again and again. It was the same outcome.

The potion didn't turn to its correct colour, which signified that its making was completed.

She looked at Gaius and found him staring at her. He must have realized that something wasn't right, when she repeated the spell twice.

Only one thing could explain what was going on and Lord help her if that was true.

The physician poured a small amount of the potion into a vial; he raised it up with the intention of inspecting it thoroughly, before he pulled it closer and sniffed.

"We must have done something wrong." He assumed and she didn't bother to correct him.

Her blood was boiling by the time she excused herself.

* * *

"You cunning, deceitful, bastard." Morgana spat, storming into the throne room. The entire council was holding a meeting in there and Morgana couldn't bring herself to care.

Only one man mattered in that moment.

Merlin.

And he jumped to his feet the instant she made her presence known.

"Let's talk outside," He reached her before she was halfway in. He held her by the elbow and spun her around. She shoved him away.

"Let go of me." She demanded when his grip tightened.

"Not in here." He hissed, his voice dangerously low.

"What's going on?" Arthur asked, approaching them rapidly, confusion evident in his features.

"Nothing." Merlin replied causally, struggling to keep his hold on her but she wouldn't let that be.

"Unhand me you bastard." She fought harder, eventually he let go when Arthur reached them.

"That's not a way to talk to your husband." Arthur scolded her.

She snorted, shooting Merlin an angry glare. "He is no husband of mine."

Then, Merlin was back to grabbing her. "Morgana, don't." He whispered into her ear.

There was a hint of warning in his voice and feeling like she had already managed to get his attention, Morgana averted her gaze toward her brother. "This is between me and Merlin. We'll continue this outside."

"Morgana…" Arthur began but 'husband' and 'wife' both turned around and headed outside, leaving a baffled king and council to wonder about what had just occurred before them.

* * *

Once behind closed doors and away from the eyes and ears of any passing person, Morgana shoved Merlin into the first alcove she found. She followed him inside.

They began to shout at each other simultaneously, until their words were no longer comprehensible or clear.

They paused when they realized that screaming won't lead to anything.

Morgana slapped him. Twice. "I trusted you wouldn't do that again."

He touched his face, lips pressed together into a firm line. "You gave me no choice, Morgana."

"Nor did you." She snapped at him. "The spell was supposed to grantee my victory."

"It still doesn't give you the right to lie to me." Merlin ran a hand through his hair, "Damn it, Morgana, you owe me that much."

"I tried." Advancing, their faces were only inches apart. "I tried but you were too stubborn to hear me. You said you didn't care. You told me that we can start anew. Together. But look how you react when you learnt about it!"

He widened his yes at her. "How else did you expect me to react?"

"You should've been grateful."

Breathing heavily, Morgana looked around her realizing how close they were standing to one another. Merlin on the other hand seemed to be still trying to register what she had said.

"Grateful?" He said slowly. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped in the last second, smiling grimly at her, he shook his head before he spoke. "If you can still stand there and think that I will be grateful for what you have done, then you are really mad, Morgana."

She couldn't deny that his words stung. It mattered immensely what he thought of her and to hear him say that, really cut her deeply but she refused to show it. For now, she had more important things to address.

"I need my magic back." She demanded furiously.

He shook his head. "That will not be happening, Morgana. I cannot allow it."

She pushed him against the wall. Merlin winced when his head hit the stone behind him with thud.

"You will or you'll regret it."

He made a noise with the back if his throat sounding awfully similar to a snort. "I like to see you try."

She searched for threats to throw his way but she came back empty. She ended blurting the first thing that came to her mind. "I'll kill you."

That was pitiful even to her standards and she didn't even feel angry when he snickered. "We've already established that you cannot to do that."

He was right. But he didn't need to know that.

"Don't tempt me." She warned, releasing him.

He scratched the back of his head where the impact had been made. "Don't lie to yourself, then."

She didn't have a comeback, so she slapped him.

He looked amused and she almost slapped the mirth of his face again, but then she remembered something that might force him to give her magic back.

"Then I'll kill myself." The way she said, she almost believed it herself. "Return my magic, Merlin, or you'll lose it all. You'll see how grateful I can be when I take everything from you."

He stopped mid-move and gave her a confused look. "How does killing yourself will affect anything around here?"

Did he not know?

"Don't act clueless." She admonished. "You've read the parchment; you know exactly what stops the spell…"

He huffed, "Of course, I know. It will end, the same it started" It was like he memorized the words. "You casted it and it'd end when you cast it again."

Oh! He really didn't know.

"That's why you took my magic?" She asked, surprised that he misunderstood the true meaning of those words. "What did you think I'm going to do? You're a fool if you think I'm—"

It was his turn to shove her to the wall, albeit, he was far gentler than she had been, but still, it hurt. "How can it be stopped?"

"What started it, would be its undoing—" She started but he cut her off.

"How?" He barked.

If telling the truth would help her escape his iron grip, then so be it. "My death." She cried out.

He went numb subsequent to her utterance. Her first thought was to run away from him, but Merlin seemed to recover faster than she could act. In an instant, Morgana found herself trapped between his chest and the wall.

"You're lying." His breath was hot on her face.

His eyes were red with anger, she closed hers. "No…" She whimpered in fear. "My death activated it and my death will—"

"Lie! It's a lie."

She punched him in the chest; the blows she threw seemed weak when he remained unfazed, as she begged for a release. He was pressing against her stomach and it got to a point where it felt like her was crushing her.

"Please stop, you're hurting our child."

Her cry of pain seemed to snap him out of his madness. As he stared at her with his eyes wide open, Merlin only took a step back until their stomachs were no longer touching. Morgana almost fell to the ground, but he kept her upward. She hunched over, clutching her belly.

"Are you in pain?" His hand came to rest on top of hers. "I'm sorry…I really didn't mean…"

She retracted her hand from under his, only to place it on the top. She didn't know what prompted her to do so. But she did. Using it, she rubbed her belly a couple of times and when she felt the baby respond with a kick of his own, she was assured that at least for now, all was well. From behind, she heard him sigh in relief. He must have felt the kick as well.

"We're fine." She said, a bit breathless. "That's the second time you attack me like this, Merlin."

She shouldn't be reminding him of that. For someone in her state he should know better than that.

He sank to the ground, she watched in silence as he drew his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. "Please tell that is not true. Please?" He begged with weak voice.

Hovering, over him, Morgana almost crouched beside him, but after what he'd just done, she didn't know if she could trust him with herself. "Now, I know better than to lie to you."

The last she saw of Merlin that morning, was him resting his head on his knees with his shoulders slumped in defeat.

* * *

The next time she saw him, Merlin was far away from the broken, crying man she had left behind upon exiting the alcove. As she, with the help of her maid this time, got ready for the lengthily prepared occasion, Merlin waited by the table, with a small smile on his lips.

How could he get to such a good mood this quickly? She didn't know.

Between what happened that morning and the evening, Morgana had almost decided not to attend. But then, like always, he barged inside without knocking and looking like the entire ordeal had never been, Morgana felt like she needed to top that. If he could act indifferent, then so could she.

* * *

By the time they both got to the main hall, Morgana discovered the reason behind his changed attitude.

Freya.

She told herself that she should have seen that coming. Something major must have occurred to him, to cause such radical alteration.

They sat next to each other while they dined. Occasionally, she'd look at him and try to see he had his eyes on Freya. Fortunately, he passed the time chatting with his father.

Once, he abruptly turned her way to discover that she'd been watching him. An amused smile played on his lips. He leaned over and she had no choice but to do the same.

"Being with a child suits you very well." He whispered with a hint of tease.

She wasn't sure if he was serious.

She titled her head, eyes narrowed into slits. "Now you've noticed? I've been like this for over two months."

He laughed gently, "I never found the proper time to express it."

"And you deem a feast a suitable time to say that?" She asked quietly.

He said nothing; he just pressed a kiss to her cheek. He went back to talking to Balinor.

* * *

Once dinner was over and the attendances were free to move around, Morgana chose to remain in her seat. Gwen had left the feast shortly, with the intention of checking on her infant, Hunith was nowhere to be seen. And so, Morgana was left to follow Merlin with her eyes, as he spoke with few people, completely ignoring her presence.

She was relieved to find him with Arthur and few knights but somehow, as time went by, Arthur disappeared, as did the knights and in their place, Freya appeared.

They talked for few moments, until the druid girl said something prompting Merlin to throw his head back and laugh. She couldn't hear what she had told him, but the sound of his laughter echoed inside her ear.

He looked happy, genuinely happy. In fact, they both looked happy being in each other's presence. A pang of jealousy pulled at her heart's strings. But as she continued to stare at them, she realized that, even when Merlin and her had had moments when they had been utterly content and happy with one another, those moments never seemed to last.

The situation they were currently in, was enough evidence.

Besides, how could she compete with the one Merlin had been ready to run away with? Ready to abandon his destiny for?

She had no chance. She'd be a fool, thinking she was good enough even for the briefest of seconds.

The realization was a harsh one, but it was still something that she needed to accept.

During her small moment of enlightenment, Morgana had failed to see them leave. She stood up from her chair; her eyes scanned the room for the familiar mop of hair. Merlin wasn't there, nor was Freya.

She felt her eyes burn and the decision to leave the place was instant.

Morgana honestly thought that she could have a chance at life with Merlin in there. Once again, she was proved mistaken. She didn't belong with him or with anyone else for that matter.

It was a lesson that she needed to relearn.

They might have been seen as a husband and wife, but she needed to remind herself that, in reality, they were nothing but. Once upon a time, she had managed to lock the part of her heart that Merlin so selfishly took residency in.

It seemed the time had come for it to be shut again. Perhaps this time, she'd be able to throw the key away. No reason for it to be kept around.

* * *

_Her mouth was wide open but nothing came through. Even with the pain surging through her middle section, a scream passed voiceless though her lips. She tore her gaze away from his expressionless face and down where he had thrust a lethal weapon into her. The agonizing pain seemed to be familiar; intense and unbearable but what was different was the rounding shape her stomach seemed to have taken._

_She clutched tightly into him, but whatever force she had, evaporated the instant he began to pull the sword._

_It felt like a release when the tip of the blade was out of her body. She came crushing down; her back hit the ground beneath her. But she didn't feel anything but the pain from her fatal wound. He hovered over her and she was struggling to catch her breath to utter one more word. One last word. "Why?"_

_But the effort seemed too much for her dying body to handle, and as she felt herself slip into nothingness, she heard his voice loud and clear ring inside her mind. "Goodbye Morgana."_

* * *

Whatever she seemed to be unable to perform in her dream, she managed to accomplish the moment she woke up from it. The scream she released was deafening and hoarse.

It died down once Morgana realized that it was only one of her disturbing dreams, coming back to haunt her sleep.

Once calmed and composed, Morgana slowly lied back on her bed. She continued to take deep breaths through her mouth, with her eyes closed. Moments passed and she became aware that there were still noises coming from outside.

Could the feast still be taken place?

Frowning, she opened her eyes and crooked her neck into the direction of the window, trying to estimate the time. She was unable to.

It was a cloudy night.

She couldn't care less about the time; she only wished she'd be able to fall into a dreamless sleep. But that didn't seem like it would be happening. Apparently, Morgana wasn't the only one the nightmare had affected. The child inside of her delivered a rather strong kick to her ribs, which made the witch groan. "Not now." She began to rub the spot where the jolt had been received.

Noticing how different her nightgown felt against her skin, Morgana sit up, inspecting the material carefully. She, then, came to realize that she was still wearing the dress from the feast. She must have fallen asleep without changing into her nightwear.

She remembered that now.

Not wishing to ruin an elegant gown, she went to her changing screen. She took her time to undress. When she was done, she emerged from there, only to recoil when she saw Merlin leaning against her vanity, with his hands folded across his chest…

She didn't hear him enter.

"You startled me." She chastised, recovering. "How long have you been standing there?"

Pushing himself away, he let his hands drop to his sides. "Awhile."

"How long exactly?" she narrowed her eyes.

His lips curved into mischievous lopsided smirk. "Long enough to enjoy the view."

Her mouth dropped.

First he complimented her on her figure and now this. What had gotten into him?

"You've been missed." He stated pulling her away from her thoughts.

She shouldn't let him deflect. But she really didn't want to dwell on what he meant by the view.

"Have I now?"

"Certainly. The feast was on your honour. Of course, your absence would've been noticed." He was right. No reason to argue with that.

She strolled toward the bed but he blocked her path. She arched an eyebrow.

"Where did you go?"

The other eyebrow followed up. "I could ask you the same thing." He'd disappeared Lord only knows where, and he had the nerve to ask her of her whereabouts.

When he didn't answer, she didn't press him. She walked past him. "I went nowhere. I left early because I was—"

He finished for her. "Tired."

She stopped and whirled around on him. "How did you know?"

Merlin shrugged his shoulders, appearing nonchalant. "You seem to be offering that excuse frequently as of late."

Excuse?

The look she gave him, probably could kill on its own without her magic. Then again, she no longer had magic. "Well, try being with a child, I'd love to see how energetic you'd be with swollen feet, an aching back and an unborn child who is constantly squirming inside your belly."

This softened his features; at least he appeared genuinely affected with her tribulations. "I gather you couldn't sleep."

If only.

"Something of the sort." She wasn't in the mood of sharing, so she neglected the part where she had dreamt of him killing her.

"Anything I could do about it?"

She had quite the few sneering answers to that, she ended up saying something else. "You can give me my magic back."

He rolled his eyes and allowed her to stomp away. "You've already discussed this."

"No, you solely did. I, on the other hand, had no say in the matter." She retorted, and went for the covers.

With each one occupying their sleeping area, Morgana continued to rub her stomach, hoping the gesture was enough to lull the baby into allowing her rest she very much needed.

Her bulge shifted under her touch, indicating that her wish won't be happening anytime soon. Morgana ended up abandoning her pursuit to gain few hours of rest.

Having nowhere to go or anything to do, she suddenly found herself pushing the screen to the side, to reveal a sleeping Merlin.

Well, the truth, she didn't know if he'd fallen asleep already, but his eyes were closed.

She sank to the floor, ungracefully like once could. Hands under her belly, Morgana watched him from where she sat.

"Merlin." Her voice was barely above a whisper, not enough to wake someone. Leaning her head back, her eyes fluttered close. She called his name out once again, shaking him by the leg this time.

"Wha—" He trailed off, his gaze landing on her. His eyes widened, and Merlin scrambled to his feet. In less than a heartbeat, he was crouching before her, his hand on her bulge. "Are you having the child?"

Touched by his concern, Morgana smiled and patted his hand. "No, I'm not. At least not yet. Not much left for that anyways." She added the last part after a small pause.

He fell on his arse, breathing out in relief. "Why did you wake me then?"

With their hands still touching, she spoke. "Did you ever wonder how despite everything that we've been through these past few weeks, lies can still undo all of it so quickly?"

"I've tried to do my best not to redo my past mistakes."

She nodded, "I wish to do the same. I'm going to tell you all I know about the way we got here."

He retracted his hand and she pretended that that didn't hurt. "I already know everything there is to know."

He had been ignorant to the way to undo the magic, she was certain he was ignorant to other aspect as well. "Not everything."

"Such as?" He folded his hands over his chest.

"I'll simply start from the beginning." She told him, and the small gesture of his head prompted her to start with her tale.

* * *

"The Dochraid made me aware of the existence of such spell. I cast it shortly after taking away your magic. Stripping you from your source of power, was supposed to be my way to triumph; I was misled to believe that the spell was to insure it."

"Mislead?" He asked with a frown.

"I have never known what she had meant, that only the spell could guarantee my victory. No matter the outcome of the war. I know now, that she had no doubt that the war would be lost for my side." Morgana stated, gaze fixed on her hands.

"Why am I here?"

Her head shut up, she had been waiting for him to ask that. "I don't know."

"I thought you knew everything about it." He shot her a look, as if wondering if she was lying to him already.

"I never claimed that. I said that I'd inform of everything I knew about it." He should start paying more attention what she said.

"All right," he said, slowly. "Carry on."

She sighed, "Casting it was not difficult. What mattered most was for it to last."

"Like the spell Morgause casted on Camelot to make everyone in it fall asleep. You needed a vessel. But not just a vessel, it had to be something with great magic to feed it."

Of course, that part he'd know.

She didn't say anything, just hummed.

"That was why you kept Aithusa around. You used her." There was a hint of anger in his voice. She brushed it aside. Knowing that he'd be angrier once he knew how wrong he was about his assumption, Morgana breathed out a sigh, reading herself for what was coming.

"No, you are the vessel fuelling this spell, Merlin."

A deadly silence fell upon them.

She had been anticipating that.

Eyes narrowed, his mouth opened and closed. Morgana allowed him to grasp the information. She gave him all the time he needed.

And apparently, he didn't need much. "What?"

It was more than an exclamation of surprise, than an actual question. She found no reason to respond. She added, "Why should I use Aithusa when the most powerful magical being was at my mercy? Once, I realized that it was only a matter of time until you would get your magic back. I no longer needed Aithusa."

"What?" he asked again. "Ho…how? Y…you would have…"

She put an end to his stuttering. "I had my ways to insure that."

"Okay…all right" he sighed, he looked anything but alright. There was something on his mind, but it seemed he wasn't about to voice it. She had really shocked him. "So, when did you figure out that this life had a connection to the spell?"

"It took me awhile," she replied honestly. "I had my suspicions prior to leaving for a visit to your parents. It was why I sought your father's assistance. After what you have told me about him, about his knowledge of the Old religions, he was the only resource I could get. But…" She trailed off, there was no need to tell him that when she had witnessed Morgause slice his throat open, that theory had been dismissed. "I realized everything after we escaped Morgause." She paused, Anything else you'd like to know?"

He covered his face with his hands before he ran them through his hair. "What were The Dochraid's exact words when she told you about the spell?"

Of all the things to ask her, she frowned in perplexity. "I already told you—"

"Her exact words, Morgana, what were they?" if she had been standing on her feet, she would have recoiled from the harshness of his voice.

Blinking a couple of times, she tried to recall what he was seeking. "Uhm…" she gnawed on her bottom lip, "'My suffering will cease and what I've spent years yearning for will come to pass.' I think that was it." She recited the same way he'd done earlier.

His eyebrows drew closer as he pondered the meaning of that. She probably should spare him the effort—

He laughed and her frowned deepened. "What's so amusing?"

"It explains everything." He said with mirth in his eyes, gone all traces of the bewilderment he'd been displaying earlier.

He must be mistaken; he surely was, because she had spent months trying to understand everything around her.

"Well, tell me!" she urged, when he didn't seem like he was going to speak his mind.

He stood up, making her peer up to get a better look at his face. "Getting dragged into this life, was all your doing. You should have never used me as the vessel. But if what the Dochraid had said true then, the spell put an end to both our suffering and it gave us exactly what our hearts have been yearning for." He sobered, features hardening all of the sudden, " All I wanted was for Arthur to achieve what he was destined for, but it seems that it wasn't the throne of Camelot that your heart desired most."

He left it unsaid. Yet, the truth behind the true meaning of what he failed to voice was rather obvious.

She gritted her teeth, a shiver ran down her spine and it made her shudder. She felt humiliated by his conclusion. She wanted to set him straight but there was no point. They both knew he was correct. He held out his hand for her and despite her embarrassment she took it. "You should get some sleep." He let go of her and went to the door.

"Where are you going?" she stopped him.

"I have something to take care of."

Although, she didn't know where he was going, but she hopped that he was going to give her magic back.

With hope filling her, Morgana lied on the bed, waiting for him to return. She refused to think about what he said.

* * *

She had fallen asleep waiting on him to come back. She woke the next morning, only to discover that he wasn't even in the chamber. She didn't even know if he'd ever come back.

And now watching him help Freya load her carriage, Morgana felt her heart ache.

"Everything all right?" she heard Gwen ask. She looked away from the scene down. She found the queen standing fairly close to her, with her eyes fixed on the same scene she'd been watching.

"I'm fine, Gwen."

The queen gave her a look, not believing her. "Are you sure?"

"Of course, I am. Why are you asking?"

"Arthur told me of the argument you had with Merlin."

Arthur and his big mouth. "It wasn't an argument. A mere disagreement."

"From what I heard it sounded more than a disagreement." Gwen replied with a smile.

"Arthur was probably exaggerating, you know he can be."

Gwen looked away from Merlin and Freya and locked her gaze with Morgana. "It wasn't Arthur who described it to me."

"Really?"

The queen moved away from the window, "You weren't exactly trying to be discreet."

"I had a point to make." Morgana defended.

Gwen sighed, "Was it worth making a scene like that?"

Honestly, it was. She nodded her head.

A gentle look graced the queen's face, "What did Merlin do?"

"Nothing."

Her friend was taken aback by that.

She couldn't blame Merlin for everything. He'd lied and poisoned her and she had turned her back on everyone she ever cared, about and launched an entire war on them.

They were both to blame for the situation that had gotten themselves into.

She chanced a glance down and it did go unnoticed by Gwen. "If it was Freya, he wanted, would you think he would have married you?"

She cursed Gwen's ability to read through her. "This is not about Freya."

"Then why are you looking at them like you're afraid he might run away with her?"

Because, he might and he could do that.

She puffed. Shot the queen a mild glare, "This's not about Freya." She pressed.

"Then why don't go and put an end to you  _disagreement_?"

Perhaps, she was right. It was time to put an end to everything.

* * *

"You should go with her." The words left her mouth without her permission. She had come to the main square, to tell him exactly that, but still, she didn't think she'd be brave enough to blurt them this easily. She had waited until Freya was no longer by his side to approach him.

Merlin whirled around so fast, he almost knocked her. His face was countered in utter surprise and she couldn't for the life of her, tell if he was surprised to see her, or because of what she had said. Either way, he raised his eyebrows, mouth agape.

"What?"

More composed and confident this time, she repeated, "You should go with Freya."

He laughed at her and shook his head. "Don't be absurd, Morgana."

He began to ascend the stairs. She followed.

"I'm serious." She insisted, ignoring the comical look on his face. It took a lot to utter that, he better take her seriously.

She reached for his elbow when she thought that she might not be able to keep up with his pace. He stopped, eyes looking directly into hers. "So am I."

"Merlin…"

She started, but he cut her off.

"Even If I wanted to go with her, Morgana, I cannot simply leave Arthur and Camelot behind."

Saying it would hurt, but he needed to hear it, so did she. "Arthur has Gwen and Camelot has its knights. You've spent the past years serving Arthur while watching him have everything; a kingdom, a wife. You deserve a chance to be with the one you love too, Merlin. You deserve to have what he had…or is having."

She didn't know what was the proper tense, but at least, she hopped he got the idea.

Morgana saw an odd look on his face, before she went stiff when he smashed his lips against hers, stealing her breath away as well as the thoughts in her mind.

Before she had the time to react to the kiss, his lips left hers. Her eyes were wide with shock, Merlin laughed softly, caressing her cheek so gently, she leaned into his touch.

"To make myself clear, I do not love Freya." He kissed her again, chastely. "And I already am with the one I love."

She shouldn't allow him to play her this easily. "I'm not a fool, Merlin, you can't—"

She didn't know what had gotten into him, but it seemed as if he was enjoying this particular way in silencing her. Once their lips parted, his mouth hovered over hers. Their breaths mingled together, she was torn between shoving him away and pulling him into another embrace.

She had to focus.

"Thank you." He spoke softly.

"Hm?"

What was he thanking her for? Had she missed something?

"I'm expressing my gratitude, Morgana. You were right." He straightened his back and his eyes shone brightly with a foreign emotion, that she had never seen beforehand. It made her wonder whether it was new, or if Merlin purposely never allowed himself to let her see it before.

"I was? How?" She asked tentatively, still dazed.

He smiled and stepped back. "I'd love to stay and chat, but I have matters to take care of. We'll continue this later."

He didn't allow her a chance to speak. But even if he had done so, Morgana wouldn't have been capable to form the proper words.

In an instant, he was gone, leaving her with a fast beating heart and conflicted feelings.

* * *

"Now, all we have to do is wait for—" She trailed off, the door of the court's physician's was pushed open and in walked, Merlin.

She looked briefly at him then back to what she had in hand.

The warlock uttered a greeting, that only Mordred responded to. He came and stood next to her.

Of all the places, he had to pick that spot.

"What are you busying yourselves with?" he craned his neck, trying to get a better look.

When Morgana remained quiet, Mordred took it upon himself to answer. "Mother is teaching me how to make potions."

Arching an eyebrow, Merlin was amused by the enthusiasm, the druid was expressing. "Really? What kind of potions?"

She almost rolled her eyes; he wasn't even trying to be subtle. He might as well ask her, if she was trying to making a potion to revert the effect of the one that had repressed her magic.

"It's a sleeping draft." Mordred said as she poured the liquid into a small vial.

"Is it?" Unconvinced, Merlin asked with tilt of his head.

"Yes." She decided it was time to join the conversation. "It is." Morgana turned to face him.

"So you don't mind proving it?" He challenged.

Confidently, Morgana shrugged. "Of course." She addressed Mordred next. "Drink it."

The knight was baffled by her request. "But I…why?…"

"Now, now," Merlin chastised, taking the potion from Morgana's fingers without her permission. He held it out for Mordred. "Do as your mother asked."

The druid boy took it. His eyes darted between his parents, to find them both giving identical smiles . He brought the vial closer to his lips, emptying its content in one gulp.

He squinted then placed the item down on the table.

Merlin had his eyes slightly narrowed, as he observed the other man. "How are you feeling?"

The knight licked his lips, as if wiping away the taste of the potion that got stuck in there. "I don't feel any—" his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his body simply gave in.

With her hand outstretched and eyes shining with a golden shade, Morgana, magically, caught Morderd.

"I see you got your magic back." Merlin remarked, casually.

She nodded her head watching, the warlock grabbed the fallen knight. Inhaling deeply and with difficulty, Merlin managed to hoist him to his feet. "I thought you were making sleeping potions." He said through gritted teeth. The weight he was carrying was a lot to handle.

"That was the second lesson." She deadpanned, following them.

Merlin laughed but it sounded odd.

"Need a hand?" Morgana offered and he shook his head.

Once Mordred was placed on Gaius' chambers, Merlin moved away, wincing as he straightened his back.

He trailed after Morgana, who had started arranging the working area. She tried her best to ignore his presence, but when he pulled something from a near cupboard, she paused and peered at what he was holding.

"I was going to give you this." Feeling the need to explain, he elaborated. "To restore your magic."

She averted her eyes, returning to her task. "Like I said, you were late for the first lesson."

"I told you I had matters to attend to." He explained with a sigh.

She had a bottle of herbs in her hand and she slammed it down on the table. "That…" Morgana pointed to the vial between his fingers. "…should have been a priority."

"I gather you're mad at me." He stated simply and his casual voice made her blood boil.

Laughing humourlessly, she abandoned her chore. "You have spent the previous week mad at me. I believe that,  _I_ , too, have the right to be, not only mad, but furious."

He breathed out, stepping closer. "I've already apologized for that."

If only it was that easy. But if he thought that he could get away with a simple 'sorry', than he was greatly mistaken.

"Well, you're not forgiven." She shot back, and took a glance around her. Trying and failing to locate something to occupy herself with. She didn't wish to keep listening to what he was saying.

His face fell, "So everything I said meant nothing to you?"

"I don't dwell much on lies."

"But it wasn't a lie," he argued, "I really do—"

"Don't." she silenced him before he uttered that word again.

His features softened, "Morgana…"

It sounded like a plea.

But she would not fall for it. Not again, not ever.

She shook her head, mostly to herself. "You ignored, screamed and practically attacked me. And if all of that weren't enough, you had the never to take away my magic, even though you knew damn well how…" her voice quivered. "I need my magic, Merlin. Even if I don't find the use for it, I need it." Otherwise, she might find herself in that pit, consumed by darkness and on her own. And she'd rather die than to relive that ordeal all over again. "I deserve to be angry at you, the same way you were with me."

"But it was not you; I was mad at…" he amended when she glared at him. "Admittedly, I was in the beginning, but I was mostly mad at myself for being mad at you." He shrugged in defeat. "And I ended up hurting you."

He sounded stupid, offering that excuse and she wasted no time to point that out for him.

He ran a hand through his hair, "I really thought that this life we're living now, could last forever and knowing that it will end…" He inhaled, "I can't go back to that life, Morgana. I just can't."

If she were in his place, she wouldn't have wanted that either. She understood where he was coming from. Here, he had everything he had ever hoped.

Her features softened, "Your destiny with Arthur—"

"Damn my destiny and damn Arthur!" he yelled, frustrated. "This is not about them…this is no longer about them."

He'd taken her by surprise with that.

"What is it about then?" she hesitated, almost dreading his answer.

He glanced up to the ceiling then back to meet her gaze. "I can't return to the life where I killed you, Morgana." He let a shaky breath, eyes glistered with tears. "I can't go back to the place where the thought of giving you a proper burial never crossed my mind. I didn't look back, Morgana, not…" He lowered himself to a seat. "You were my friend and I left your body there to rot."

She couldn't ignore the way her heart clenched. Hearing him say that, she didn't know how to respond. Yes, she was wounded by that, but she couldn't really blame him. And she couldn't bring herself to comfort him either.

"Once this is all over, I will be nothing but a distant memory. You'll overgrow your guilt and eventually, you'll move past it." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "You'll move past me."

"How can you say that?" Eyes wide, in an instant, he was on his feet.

"How can I not?" she shot back. "You'll never care about me the same way you do for Arthur."

He threw his hands up in the air, an obvious sign of defeat. "But I love you!"

"Then prove it, Merlin."

There was a moment of utter silence before Merlin broke it. "I've told you, why can't you believe me?"

She had many answers for that, she only gave one. "Because I cannot trust anything that comes out of your mouth, Merlin. Not again."

He'd promised her forgiveness for what she had done. He'd claimed that he wished to start anew with her, but everything he'd said disappeared in a heartbeat.

How could he hope she'd believe him after that?

His face fell, mouth ajar. He watched her then his eyes fluttered close.

It was in that particular moment that Morgana felt like they had reached the end of their relationship. Just like many years ago, when they had stood in the cave under the castle, with Merlin pleading for her to simply stop. Offering her a way to redeem herself. An offer that she didn't think twice before rejecting it.

" _It doesn't have to be like this. We can find another way."_

" _There is no other way."_

He'd given up on her back then, and the look that had been on his face, was almost identical to the one she was seeing now.

And once again, she had rejected him.

"I—" he began then paused.

There it came, Morgana readied herself. The beginning of the end. She could almost hear her heart shuttering, and even though she knew that one word from her, and all of this would vanish, she had her dignity to conserve.

"There is another way," his firm voice snapped her back. Her stomach flip-flopped, and heart skipped a beat. He continued. "However, you said that you wished to wait until the child was born."

When she demanded that he proved that he loved her, she didn't really think he'd propose that idea. Or any other idea for that matter. She thought that she had him cornered, left with no more options. It seemed that she was mistaken.

Heat rushed to her face and she couldn't glance toward him.

Her lack of response was a response itself.

"No, right?" he said as if guessing what was on her mind.

She finally looked up at him. She didn't speak merely shook her head.

It wasn't like she didn't want to, it just she didn't want to do anything that intimate with him, until that child was out of her. There was a look of understanding gracing his face. She didn't say it out loud but she was grateful that he didn't insist on an explanation.

"Okay," Merlin was scratching his brow, "I was going to propose this after you give birth, but I guess there is no reason to wait. Once that happens, the two of us, we'll leave the city, head toward the farthest village in the entire kingdom and get married."

Wow!

His proposals were getting better and better. Her mind went blank after the word 'married'.

Because he couldn't be serious. No one could go from hating someone, to suggesting marriage in matter of few months. Their past couldn't be undone that easily. Heck, it couldn't be undone, period.

"Don't joke about this." She warned and she cursed her heart for beating so fast, she feared she might faint because of it.

He held his hands up, "I'm not. I'm being entirely and completely serious."

And she was really serious about the fainting part. Lord have mercy, why was he doing that to her?

"Morgana…"

"I have to think it about first." She said before she rushed out of there.

For some reason, he didn't follow her.

* * *

Three days later, Morgana was still thinking about it. Not entirely true, really, if she had the choice, she would have blurted a yes and be done with it. But the man didn't deserve to have an answer that fast. She'd have him wait until he was desperate.

But he didn't appear that desperate really, because, on the very day he'd made his proposition, they had slept on the same bed and they still were three nights later. If it were up to her, she'd have spent her night on the ground behind that screen, just like he'd do whenever they weren't on speaking terms. However, for the past few days, her back was killing her and she could barely catch a wink while laying on soft and smooth mattress. She wouldn't put herself through such suffering just to prove a point.

Anyways, it seemed that the ache in her back was increasing with each passing moment. It was rather permanent and the pain came in waves, concentrating in her lower back. It had begun since earlier that day and it showed no signs of subsiding.

The healer had warned her of that, so she tried her best to ignore the discomfort and focus on the conversation taking place around her. "Has it been verified that it's, in fact her?" Morgana asked, folding her hands in her lap.

"Yes." Arthur confirmed her worry and she rubbed her belly, as though the mere mention of her sister's name was enough to harm her baby. "She had been spotted, but her men are not known around here, so we cannot be certain if they have arrived to Camelot."

She shifted in her seat; one hand went to the small of her back applying small pressure on it.

By her side, Merlin misunderstood the action of one of concern. He reached for her other hand. "I won't let harm come to you. I promise."

It was the first intentional physical contact they had had for few days now. She peered down at it and brought her hand to cover his. "I know."

"We'll double the patrols and knights will be placed in every entrance within the city, as well as the castle. Any suspicious person tried to sneak in will be stopped." There were no knights around them for Arthur to instruct, but it sounded like he was trying at reassure her. And truthfully, he wasn't making a very well job at it. She knew better than anyone how it was easy to slip unnoticed in and out of the castle. Of course, she wasn't about to point that out, she'd suggest few matters when it came to securing the premature.

The news of Morgause's presence in the city had been delivered to them during lunch. The gravity of such information coupled with ache, made her lose her appetite. She found no reason to stay in there and she'd rather go and rest her feet, then to worry herself over something she'd been anticipating ever since she had escaped her sister captivity. She retracted her hand from Merlin's, he looked up frowning. "I think, I'll head back to my chambers. The child is being unusually restless today and we all know who to blame for that."

"Yes, his mother." Merlin teased from where he sat.

Morgana rolled his eyes. "Most people we'll disagree with you."

"I don't." Arthur chimed in, with a crooked smile.

The warlock snickered at that comeback, Morgana shot him glare. "Shush you, if—" She trailed off, griping the chair to keep her upright.

Everyone seemed to notice. "You okay?"

She tried to smile but it came off mostly like a grimace. "Don't worry. Like I said, it just the baby—"

Pain shot from her back taking her by surprise, Morgana doubled over. Thankfully, she'd been holding onto the chair.

"Morgana…" Merlin jumped to his feet and rushed to her.

She wanted to grab his hand, but he was pushed away from her. "Go get the healer, Merlin. I think it's time." Gwen ordered.

She knew exactly what that meant and she wanted nothing more than to call his name. She needed him by her side. She couldn't do this alone.

* * *

His mother finally emerged from the room. The healer had already left awhile back. Hunith, gently, pulled the door closed, making as little noise as possible.

"How is she?" Merlin went to her.

She met him with a warm, almost an apologetic smile, "She's asleep and she's fine. They both are."

Words were not enough to assure him, he needed more. "Can I go in?"

She sighed, "Just don't make any noises."

Nodding his head, the warlock did as he was instructed.

Once in, he shut the door. His footsteps were heavy as he headed to where she was lying.

She was indeed asleep, of that he was certain. Her chest rose and fell evenly. Gone all the traces of her ordeal, she looked at peace.

He went to the other side of the bed. Staring lengthily down at her sleeping form, he couldn't stop thinking about how worried he'd been before he exhaled and lied beside her.

Morgana hummed something incoherent. Her eyes fluttered open, "Merlin?" she mumbled woozily. He wasn't sure if she was completely awake.

"Go back to sleep." He coaxed her.

She licked her lip, eyes shut close. She sank deeper into her pillow. "I will let you marry me."

He laughed gently. "So finally, you approve of me?"

"It's hard not to."

After that she drifted back to slumber. She shifter until was on her side, facing away from him. He scooped closer and kissed her shoulder, before he wrapped his arms around her still protruding midsection and buried his noise in her hair, inhaling her scent. "Rest now."

Normal. It had been what the healer had told him. Apparently, at times, women near the end of their pregnancy, could experience contractions similar to the one of childbirth.

The woman had been correct and mere hours later, the spasms had stopped. Morgana had been given something to help her sleep.

But according to the healer, Morgana might actually give birth at any time now. He'd been worried earlier and only when he'd been faced with the fact that his child might possibly arrive soon, did he realized how unready he was to be a father.

And so when Morgana finally rose from her sleep, he wasted no time to confess his fear.

"You suppose I am?"

"Well," he began, "Sometimes, I can't help feeling as though you're enjoying the entire thing."

"You cannot be more wrong." She told him, tucking her leg under her. "In the beginning, it wasn't. Waking up to find myself like this was certainly not a pleasant surprise. However, I can't deny that I grew to love this child with each passing day. Besides…" She trailed off and her silent prompted him to look at her. She had strange expression on her face.

"What?" He encouraged.

"It's, after all, my last chance to have a child of my own."

He growled. "Don't talk like that."

"What?" she exclaimed, with a laugh in her voice. She was trying and unfortunately failing to brighten up the mood. "It's the truth."

Getting off, he gave her a look. "I don't need you to remind me of it, Morgana."

She followed him with her eyes, as he brought her dinner from the table. She accepted the tray. "It's better you get accustomed with idea now. You don't want to wake up one day and discover that all is gone."

He wasn't sure if he'd ever be ready to face that day.

* * *

"No." He said, firmly, hopping that his answer would put an end to their conversation. She could be really stubborn sometimes.

He went to his changing screen. He took off his nightdress and when he reached for his shirt, he couldn't find it.

Frowning, Merlin checked around, but the piece of wear was nowhere to be found. He had placed it there before he had gone to sleep the previous night.

"Morgana…" He called walking out of there. "Did Ann collect my clothes for a wash last night?"

The woman in question didn't respond, instead, her eyes drank in the sight of his naked torso.

"What?" his voice snapped out of her marvelling.

She smiled, "I'm just enjoying the view."

She could stare all she wanted, but for now he needed to get dressed. He couldn't be late.

He repeated his question and she shook her head. "Have you seen it, then? I seem to have misplaced it."

She tore her gaze away from his exposed chest and up to his face. "No. I have not."

No reason to waste his time searching for it, Merlin decided to wear something else. However, when he pulled his closet open, he found that it was completely empty.

All of his clothes were gone.

"Morgana." He growled, turning around to face her. "Where are they?"

"Where are what?" she was playing dump.

"My clothes, they're gone."

She widened her eyes, feigning surprise. "How odd! Does that mean you won't be going?"

He should have known she'd do something, he definitely didn't expect this.

"Morgana…" he spoke her name with a hint of defeat. "I can't just miss a council meeting simply because you wish for company."

"I've not left this chamber for a week now, Merlin." She whined.

"For a very good reason, Morgana," she should know this herself, "you could go into labor—"

"But I'm bored." She drawled, wrapping her arms around her pillow. "I can't spend another moment in this bed. I'm going mad."

And they were back to the beginning.

He crossed his hands over his chest. "What do you expect me to do about it?"

"I don't know," she hugged it tightly. "Entertain me."

He rolled his eyes. "I don't have time for this." He sighed, exasperation.

She threw the pillow at him; it barely made it halfway to him. "You should take responsibility for what you have done."

The healer was the one that recommended bed confinement.

"How is it my fault?" he crouched down and picked up the thrown item.

"How did you think I got like this?" she pointed to her belly.

He smirked. "I think we both know exactly how."

Growling, she grabbed his pillow this time, and threw it his way.

He easily dodged it. He sobered. "It's enough, Morgana.. Where did you put them?"

She pouted, "I'm not saying."

It was a lost cause to get her to tell him.

Under her watch, he started to search the room. "I need my shirt, Morgana, I can't attend the meeting like this."

"You should," she remarked teasingly. "Not very bad sight."

"I don't think everyone else will share the same opinion." He looked under the bed. That was how desperate he was.

"If you stay here, I promise I won't complain."

Honestly, he couldn't concentrate on anything when she was saying things like that. If anything, he really needed to leave the room, before he did something stupid like snogging her senseless.

"You really are enjoying this, are you not?"

She laughed, "So very much."

Her wardrobe was next thing, he searched.

"Do you honestly think I'm going to hide them in there?" He heard her ask but he continued rummaging through the pile of her things.

He stopped when he came cross something familiar; albeit, not a shirt, but it was something of his.

"Why are you kipping this hidden?" he asked.

She looked confused. "Keep what?"

He held up the item between his thrum and forefinger, for her to see. "My neckerchief."

The moment her eyes landed on the cloth, Morgana gasped and quickly got off the bed. She waddled toward him. "Hand it over!"

He arched an eyebrow. "Answer me first."

The last he'd seen it; Morgana had snatched from his neck and disappeared with it. It had been the day she had offered to teach him how to heal.

"It served as a reminder." She reached for it but he pried her hand away.

"A reminder of what?" he pressed, stepping back.

She stopped trying, knowing fully well, she won't get it until he had his answer. "Of how manipulative, untrustworthy, devious and dangerous; you could be."

He snorted, "I didn't know you hated me this much."

She rolled her eyes and smacked him in the shoulder. "Give it to me!"

"I think I'm going to kee—" she didn't allow him to finish as she nicked the neckerchief and as quickly as she could, she ran back to the bed. Merlin was hot on her heels.

She propped on the bed, concealing the hand with the object under her back. He tried to sneak his hand under her but she shoved him away. "You're not getting it." She said breathlessly.

Merlin tried again, but he didn't want to push his luck further, fearing that he might harm her. So, he decided to take the safest way.

"Should we bet on that?" He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers, not exactly kissing but certainly teasing.

Morgana, however, didn't settle for that.

She hooked a hand around his neck, gripped his hair with her other one and forced him to deepen the kiss.

For a moment, he almost lost his focus on his goal, but when the material tickled the back of his neck, he snapped out of it. He continued to move his lips with her, as he reached and gently slipped the neckerchief from her fingers.

As much as he enjoyed this, he had a point to make. He pulled away, getting off of her. Her lips were swollen. His blue eyes were sparkling with amusement and there was a smirk on his lips.

His chest rose and fell heavily with each breath he took. For a second, Morgana didn't appear pleased by his method. But soon, she started laughing and soon he joined her.

"We should do this more often. It's rather enjoyable, right."

Not the word, he would use but, "It's definitely worth repeating, he confessed." He let his body fell next to her on the bed; she craned her neck his way.

"Why waste time then?"

Yeah, why waste time?

Their lips were inches apart when the door of their chambers opened and Ann walked inside, she took one look at them and rushed out. Still, that didn't stop Morgana from yelling, "Knock first." Then she turned her head to him.

His tender lips made gentle contact with hers.

She closed her eyes, and returned the kiss, placing her slim arms around his neck. She drew herself closer and they carried on; there heard a knock. They looked at each other, a displeased look played on both their faces.

"Ignore it." Merlin told her.

Morgana complied.

But the knocking continued for a moment, then stopped. The sound of the door creaking, its knob slowly turning, still they paid it no intention.

"I thought I heard a noise coming from—" Whoever walked inside, trailed off as their eyes found them.

They broke apart abruptly. Each one shoving the other away.

"Mother!"

"Hunith!"

They exclaimed at the same time.

The woman just started with her eyes wide. She was clearly in shock. "I should return later…"

"No, no, no…" Merlin jumped off the bed. "I'm late for the meeting, I should probably…"

Heat rushed to his face; never had he thought his mother would walk on him doing such thing.

Merlin avoided looking at Morgana, and rushed to put on something, to cover the blush he knew for sure it had spread all over his torso. But, he only took couple of paces, before he span around.

"Where are my shirts?"

"What happened to your shirts?" Hunith asked with furrowed brow.

"Morgana hid them so I won't leave her compa—" he began but the implication of his words registered lately.

From the bed, Morgana gasped, "Merlin!"

He didn't get a chance to explain what he really meant. Like Ann, his mother rushed out of there with the promise to return later.

"You're an idiot."

This time the pillow met its target, right in the face.

Yeah, he really was.

* * *

It had been a long day for him, and Merlin wished nothing more than to close his eyes and drift into sleep. Yet, it seemed like his wish would not become true, because Morgana had been tossing and turning every now and then.

She blamed it on the baby and she blamed him for the baby. So, he had no right to complain.

He was too tired to argue with her logic.

But as the night progressed, her movements would stir him awake every time he caught a wink. It got to the point where he could no longer take it anymore.

Of course he understood that she was probably feeling even worse than he was, but he was really exhausted. All he wanted was to sleep.

Morgana shifted again, he just snapped. "Please, just stop."

If he was grumpy, she certainly was grumpier. "You can sleep on the floor if you'd like."

Honestly, it sounded like a bad idea at all.

"Fine." When he grabbed his pillow, groaning, Morgana sat and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.

He frowned, "Where are you going?"

All he got from her was a noise sounding similar to a whine.

He jumped on the bed and got the other side. Kneeling before her, he noticed that she had her eyes closed, face countered in pain. She was clutching the covers so tight, her knuckles turned white.

"Are you okay?"

He repeated his question twice, before he got an answer. She inhaled deeply, placing a hand on the side of her belly. "It's happening again."

He knew what she was referring to.

Merlin straightened up, "I'll go get my mother."

She wrapped her hand around his wrist, stopping him. "No need to wake her at this time."

"Are you sure?" His mind was screaming at him to do the opposite of what she was asking, but then she nodded and smiled weakly at him.

"I am."

* * *

She was wrong.

Slowly, her pain only intensified. Her winces became whines and moans. Finally, he couldn't just watch her cry in agony every few moments.

The healer was summoned. It didn't take long to confirm that the lady Morgana was in labour. Quickly, boiling water had been brought inside while he was thrown out.

A goblet of whine was handed to him and he swallowed it all at once. The burning feeling it left behind and as it made its way down his throat, did nothing to ease his worries. So when the second drink offered the same outcome, Merlin left.

Arthur followed him and he led him toward Gaius' chambers, where they spoke about everything and nothing.

Somehow, he ended up falling asleep. Finally, he got the rest his body was craving.

Waking up, the sun was shining brightly in middle of the sky. He ran back to their chambers only to learn that the child hadn't been born yet.

'It lasts longer for the new mothers. It might take the entire day.' Those were the answers he'd get every time he asked if it was over yet.

He couldn't handle being in the dark like that. He couldn't handle the fact that she was suffering, while he sat outside drinking mead and doing nothing besides waiting.

And the one thing, he couldn't handle was her screams. The sun was dying, when he heard the first one and now, it was utterly dark and he was still hearing them. He almost barged in there few times. However, Arthur or his father would stand like a barrier in his path.

Her voice echoed in his mind, pleading for him to put an end to her pain. He was helpless. He could do nothing but assure her; tell her all would be over soon, tell her that he loved her over and over again.

Suddenly, her screamed died out. Another took its place, it was as angry and as loud as the previous, but this one didn't make him flinch, didn't make his heart clench with guilt. No, this one placed a smile on his face, his heart swelled with an inexplicable joy.

He released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

Someone patted him on the back; another pulled him into a hug.

He couldn't focus on anything. He broke the embrace and stopped in front of the door. He didn't walk in, he just waited. Thankfully, he didn't wait for long. His mother appeared from behind the door with happy tears falling down her face.

"You have a son." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "You have a son." She repeated.

"How is Morgana?" Hunith pulled him at arm length. She wiped her tears away.

"She's fine. Go see them." She stepped aside, allowing him enough space.

He walked past her. His legs carried him straight to her. She was cradling their child in her arms, head down at she glanced at him.

"Morgana…" He breathed out her name so softly, he almost thought she won't hear him; but she did and when she looked up, she never looked more beautiful. Even with hair drenched in sweat, face wet with tears, she looked stunning. He sat next to her, wrapped a hand around her shoulder.

He pressed a quick kiss to her hair, before he peered down. He was excited and afraid to see his son at the same time. But he felt happy. He felt ready to be a father.

Tentatively, his fingertips brushed against his skin. "He's so soft and small."

His eyes were closed, tiny hands clenched into a ball.

"Right!" Morgana exclaimed with a small laugh. "He certainly felt heavier while in."

He couldn't help but laugh as well. "I think he's supposed to be small."

"Yeah, but he's healthy though. Did you hear his cry?" she peered up to look at him.

"It was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard." He confessed, feeling the corners of his eyes burn. He really could hold his tears back anymore.

"Agreed." Morgana said. If she noticed his tears, she didn't show it. "For a moment, I feared he might not come out, but then I heard him and I was relieved."

He continued to chuckle, until they both settled into a comfortable silence. They watched their son, he'd wrapped his hand around Merlin's finger. It took his breath away when the baby had done that.

"How are you feeling?" Merlin asked her.

He heard her sight. "Sore. But happy. So very happy." She said with a smile, "I've never felt like this before."

"I love you."

He could still surprise her whenever he expressed his feelings. Perhaps, he should do so more often until she got used to them.

"I love you, too."

Their lips brushed together in a small but satisfying kiss.

* * *

"How about—"

She didn't allow his to finish, "No."

His lips were pressed into a thin line, as he gave her a displeased look, "this is absurd, Morgana, you didn't even hear what I was going to say."

"Nothing you've proposed so far was suitable." She said, making a face.

He smiled, "neither have you."

She clearly wasn't paying much attention to him. They both were propped onto their elbows, their new-born lied between them. He was awake, eyes wide opened but he was quiet. Seemingly, too invested in his parents light bickering.

Morgana ran her hand down his cheek, the baby attempted to grab her finger. Once he did so, he drew it to his mouth. He parted his lips and then closed them around it.

"If we carry on like this, he won't have a name." Morgana said with a sigh, as the baby extracted her finger, gave it a strange look before he pulled back into his mouth.

"How can we not agree on this?" Merlin wondered, mostly to himself. "It's ridiculous."

Morgana smiled gently as the baby seemed to compress his gum together, it tickled her. "We haven't seen eye to eye for years, now, Merlin."

"But we have lately." He reminded her.

She rolled her eyes, and gently pulled her finger out. She wiped it with a drag lied beside her. The Baby began to whimper, Merlin offered his hand. "And by lately, you mean less than a week ago."

"Over three weeks," He rushed to correct, "It's the longest period so far. It should be counted as an accomplishment."

"You're being stupid." She chided.

He scoffed, "I'm being optimist."

"And you're also late for the meeting." She told him, as she sat and leaned over to scoop the baby.

Merlin pouted, "I don't wish to go."

"How the tables have turned!" She teased, eyes sparkling.

"Shut up." He said airily, leaning to press a kiss to her lips, then another to the baby's brow. He moved back and left the bed. He looked down at them, briefly before he spoke up, "We should have had a girl. It would have been easy to name her."

Surprised, Morgana lifted an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be glad that you have a son who will carry on with your family heritage?"

"I do," He confessed. Sighing, he added with a lopsided smile, "Perhaps next time, we'll have a girl."

Snorting, she patted the infant's back. "We haven't shagged yet, and you're already planning for a second child."

He shrugged his shoulders, his smile intact. "Like I said, I'm an optimist."

"Yeah, well, for the next baby, I'd like to have a recollection how it got there in the first place, before I give birth to them."

"I'll keep that in mind for the next time." He shrugged on his jacket.

She feigned a breath of a relief. "I'll hold you up to that."

"I must go," He said sadly. "I'll return the moment the meeting is over."

She nodded, "See you later, then."

* * *

The gathering was nearing its end, when the sound of the bells was heard.

It didn't take long to learn what had come to pass.

Patrol of knights had been attacked and rumours of a vast army marching toward the castle were heard.

It was a day away from reaching the city's walls. Everyone knew who was behind it.

Merlin, alongside with Arthur, rushed to Gaius' chambers to assess their losses. The room was buzzing with activity. Numerous knights were lying here and there, injured. The warlock was surprised to find his wife in there, offering her assistance.

He wasted no time to express his disapproval. "Why are you here?"

She paused in her moves, "Take a look around and guess." She returned to the knight before her. She closed her eyes and began the process of healing.

Merlin didn't speak again until she was done. Morgana quickly moved to the next one. He stopped her. "You should be in bed, resting."

"It's been over a week since I gave birth. I don't need the rest." She pulled away from him, "Besides, I'm more useful in here than in my chambers, your son has fallen asleep."

She returned to her task. "I can't see the wound." He heard her mumble. With a sigh, he went to help her. They managed to remove the man's armour and then she yanked his shirt open to reveal the injury.

Merlin let her continue and moved toward Arthur. "How bad is it?"

"Very." The king replied. "The ones who made it here alive were lucky. Most of the men died on the way back."

"This is happening too sudden."

"I shall discuss our strategy with the knights, will you be joining us?" Arthur asked.

Merlin's gaze drifted back to Morgana. "I'll think I stay here and help as much as I can. I'll come once I'm finished."

The king nodded his head, sighing forlornly at a fallen knight before exiting the room.

* * *

Merlin was making best of what Morgana had taught him. She was working not far from him, when he noticed that she had stopped rather abruptly. She was eyeing the dead knight strangely. He stopped what he was doing.

"What's the matter?"

Her voice was hesitant, "He's not wearing his armour."

His brow drew together, "He's not a knight?"

Morgana shook her head, "No he is. I remember him. He was the one that brought me back to Camelot when I tried to escape."

It had happened mere days after waking up in there.

"You think someone stole his armour?" Merlin asked, though he knew the answer. But he was dreading to admit it.

Morgana reached and shut the man's eyes close. "I think there is someone pretending to be a knight of Camelot and he's roaming around freely."

The implications of her words where heavy ones, they shared a look. Letting the gravity of the situation register, before they both ran to the door.

One person in mind.

As they made their way toward their chambers, Morgana stopped him. "You must warn Arthur first."

He dismissed her request instantly. "Arthur is surrounded by the knights of the round table. I can't let you go alone, Morgana. Morgause is not only after our child, but she wants you dead. I'm coming with you."

Rolling her eyes, Morgana huffed, "Gwen and Edward are in danger as well, and you can't let anything happen to them. Think about Arthur."

"I'm only thinking about you." He said firmly, resuming his walk.

Exasperated, Morgana ran after him. "Can we not argue on this, please?"

Sighing in defeat, Merlin halted in his tracks, he turned to face her.

"Morgana…"

"Just make sure Gwen and the prince are fine, warn Arthur and come back to me. Don't worry, Merlin, I've been doing this for years. I can take care of myself." She said with a pleading smile.

Realizing that there was no point in arguing, and knowing fully that they shouldn't be wasting any time, Merlin, though reluctant, nodded his head. "Be careful and you have my permission to kill anyone who tries to harm you."

"All right."

They shared a brief kiss before they parted.

* * *

The king, the queen and their son were all fine. No harm had come to them yet. But, they'd been warned of the threat. Once, he was assured that the royal family was fine, it was time to check on his.

His parents presented no use to the intruder, so he rushed to make sure that his wife and son were all right.

Nearing their chambers, he saw it: a busted door. Kicked in. metallic smell. Smell of blood.

Stumbling through the doors, he yelled out her name with a heavy breath. But he already knew, he just knew it was too late. He didn't know how, but something inside of him prevented him from thinking otherwise. With his chest heaving, his lungs feeling as if they were about to shrivel up, and his head beaded with sweat, he started to look for her.

Merlin remained silent, as he stepped passed the dead body of Morgana's maidservant, Ann. He approached Morgana slowly. Her opened eyes and the small gap between her lips formed a familiar sight that he, once, had been responsible for.

Her face was flushed, completely pale, and her lips a soft bluish-purple.

She was gone.

With tears leaking from his eyes, Merlin moved closer, so he positioned his hands above her mound. A small piece of him still had hope that this could change something. But as he recited the healing spell and nothing happened, all of his hope was finally lost.

He shook his head frantically, more tears flowing from his eyes, as he let out a soft whimper, "I'm sorry." He leaned forward, his whimpers becoming sobs, and placed his hand to her head. As he placed his lips to her forehead, he felt how cold her skin had become; it was like ice. His hand remained atop her head, shaking as he caressed his thumb back and forth over her soft hair.

As he parted his warm lips from her, he was forced to stare down at her lifeless expression. He watched as his many salty tears hit her skin and hated how she didn't, how she couldn't, even flinch.

He brought his hand and shut her eyes. He didn't need to look at them any longer. He pulled her close, cradling her cold body to his, resting her head beneath his chin, and placing a kiss to her hair ever few seconds.

He stayed like that for a long time. The thought of his child were completely forgotten.

* * *

"He's waking up." The noise, at first, sounded distant. But as he neared the state of awareness, they become clearer.

"Merlin…" someone spoke closely, next to his ear and Merlin turned his head toward the sound. His eyes fluttered open. Gaius was the first one he saw.

The elder man breathed in relief as he straightened up. "At last."

He was in his chambers. His neck ached as he glanced around him before he peered down.

He was back to wearing his cloths as a servant.

"Morgana…" he whispered hoarsely, the memories of their shortly-lived happiness came rushing to his mind, and he felt the tears well up.

He didn't need to be told, but he knew that the moment, he fell asleep, it'd be the end of a dream.

And it was.

The mention of the high priestess' name had gone unnoticed by the court physician. Yet, even if he had, the warlock couldn't bring himself to care. He buried his face in his pillow, allowing the tears to fall.

"There you go." A voice pricked up and Merlin's heart almost stopped.

"Gwaine?"

Lifting his head up, he glanced up to see the knight approach him with a chalice. Gwaine held it out for him, absently, Merlin took it.

"What..ho..." Shocked, he stuttered.

No seemed to comment on his red eyes. The knight spoke, explaining. "You fainted while we journeyed. I had no choice but to return. It seems that my decision was wise. You've been out of consciousness for almost a day now."

That couldn't be right, could it?

His journey with Gwaine had been established. He had never fainted. Something wasn't correct.

His heartbeats sped up. "The war?" Merlin looked between his friend and mentor.

"Arthur left a day ago. They will most likely reach Camlan by the nightfall."

There was no battle yet.

It was as if he'd come back in time.

His eyes widened slightly. The dots finally had been connected.

Morgana had told him that she had casted the spell after learning of his capability to restore his magic.

The moment he'd fainted must have been the exact moment when she had done that.

Which meant that he hadn't killed her yet. She was still alive.

He needed to find her. But without his magic he wouldn't be able to.

A plan quickly was formed. Get his magic, summon Aithusa and command the young dragon to inform him of Morgana's hideout.

He ignored Gaius' question as he jumped off the bed.

* * *

It was with an intensified hope that he marched toward the cave.

Nearing its entrance, Merlin quickened his pace. He was only few feet away when he heard it.

"Hello husband."

He whirled around with a giant smile on his face.

"Morgana?!"

* * *

**The End**


End file.
